Here is My Homework:
First some "Show"
1. I've had the picture below saved on my computer for years "“ (I think) way before season 8 was ever mentioned. I suppose this is the kind of drawings I'd like to see in the comic "“ clean and adult looking. I must admit that I find Georges Jeanty's style a tad naà¯ve, although he got better towards the end of the season. For more work from this artist (Grant Gould "“ he does artwork from various fandoms) see his gallery here:
http://grantgoboom.deviantart.com/gallery/
2. One of my favourite sites on the internet is
Tea at the Ford. It was one of the first places I discovered when I was first submerging myself into the online fandom. It is basically an archive of mailing list conversations dating back to the last few seasons of both Buffy and Angel. It was the regulars from this list that created the excellent faux
Thesis on William the Bloody by Lydia Chalmers (There is a PDF link somewhere but I couldn't find it) And there is also some truly wonderful
meta and discussion about our favourite couple too.
And now some "Tell":
3. Episode discussion -
After Life
After Life is one of my favourite Spuffy-centric episode. Odd choice I know, but I've always had a real love for this one because each of the Buffy and Spike scenes has a genuine beauty about it; the words are lovely.
After Life, for me, is all about the three Buffy and Spike conversations:
Conversation one
Dawn brings Buffy home. They stand out the front of the house and Dawn says, with a touch of relief, "You're back home. We're all okay now". Buffy hasn't been back for a moment and she's already got the weight of expectation on her shoulders "“she's going to make everything okay again, for everyone else. Dawn takes her round the house, is trying to comfort her by showing her that things are still pretty much the way they've always been except that they're not "“ Willow and Tara live there, furniture has been moved, the bright lights hurt her eyes"¦
After cleaning her up and trying to make her laugh Dawn begins to get frustrated at Buffy's detachment. "Buffy? You wanna, like, stop? . . . We can ... we can sit down and talk." But Buffy doesn't want to do that. She asks what else is different only to be told that Giles has left too.
Spike arrives. He's pissed with Dawn "“ so pissed that he momentarily forgets that he last saw the Buffy Bot in bits and pieces. He watches Buffy walk down the stairs and realises the truth. Dawn observes that she's "been through a lot" but she's "Okay". Spike is astounded, momentarily lost for words. He stares at Buffy in wonder and awe. Buffy gets self conscious; such scrutiny will do that to ya. She buttons her unbuttoned shirt quickly. The buttoning of the shirt is there mainly to highlight Buffy's injured hands but it also works as a gesture of awareness. She's aware of Spike as a male, and an attractive one at that. She self-consciously buttons the shirt; it's a classically female reaction.
Spike notices Buffy's gouged knuckles. Dawn doesn't know how they got like that.
SPIKE: I do; clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right?
BUFFY: Yeah. That's ... what I had to do.
SPIKE: Done it myself.
So the point of connection is there. He is the only one in her world who could possibly have any understanding of what it means to die and then live again. He is death walking. And that's even more alluring than Buffy would ever admit
He sends Dawn to get first aid supplies and takes Buffy to sit down. He sits opposite her and holds her damaged hands gently. Finally, Buffy asks a question to help her get her bearings.
BUFFY: How long was I gone?
SPIKE: Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it?
SPIKE: How long was it for you ... where you were?
BUFFY: Longer.
I love how Spike knows the exact amount of days without any hesitation! And I love that Spike shows a deep concern for Buffy. He empathises with her plight; he's willing to tend her wounded hands, he's quiet and he doesn't demand anything of her. The calmness is destroyed with the entrance of Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya. They barge into the house. Demand her presence and then throw a barrage of questions at her. This scene is shot in a very particular way, the camera low and looking upwards to emphasise the domineering presence of the Scoobies over the besieged Buffy. Dawn tells them to back off but they are insistent; they want thanks and gratitude and assurance that they were right to bring her back. They want Buffy to be "okay". They don't want zombie!Buffy or Stange!Buffy on their hands "“ they want Normal!Buffy and they want her so they'll all be okay again.
Spike leaves upon the intrusion "“ he stands outside the house crying. They're not quite tears of joy though. Confusion tempered with relief maybe? But he's got more realistic expectations than the Scoobies "“ they only want to believe that she is fine; they quickly pooh-pooh any suggestion that she's not okay. They just don't want to hear it. But Spike knows better, oh yeah - That's the thing about magic; there's always consequences.
Conversation Two:
A little while later Buffy and her friends are at the Magic Box researching their latest demon foe. Buffy's heart is not in it. She misses Giles. She leaves to go patrolling. She doesn't want their company and she doesn't give Dawn so much as a backward glance as she leaves "“ she's not connected to life (of which Dawn is representative). Buffy would rather be walking around in a dark graveyard than with her friends. And yet she's not too keen on the actual patrolling either "“ She ends up at Spike's crypt. She is drawn to death. Spike is surprised to see her, makes a lame joke and looks kind of awkward. They compare hand wounds "“ it's another reminder that these two have certain things in common. Spike makes another attempt at humour with no more success than the last. Buff sits though; she's in no hurry to leave. She doesn't need the conversation. She needs the companionable solitude. But Spike also gives her something else - an apology:
SPIKE: "I do remember what I said. The promise, to protect her. If I had done that, even if I didn't make it - you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again, do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways. Every night I save you."
He expresses regret that she had to die and that he didn't do enough to stop it from happening. I think it is the most consideration that anyone has given Buffy since she came back. It's not a selfish sentiment either "“ none of this has anything to do with Spike wanting to be the big hero or anything like that; It's all about Spike wishing that Buffy never had to die in the first place.
Conversations three:
They work out what the bad guy is and Buffy defeats it. Just like old times. The Scoobies gather at the magic box and Buffy steels herself to say the much expected "˜thank-you' to them for resurrecting them but she never actually says the words "“ she says tells them what they want to hear (that she was in a "˜hell dimension' and that she "˜can't tell them what it means' to her to have been bought out.) And it's a weird combination of feelings Buffy's experiencing here. On one hand she's royally pissed off that they have bought her back, but on the other she doesn't want them to know the reality as that would hurt their feelings. Then on top of that she feels like she ought to be grateful that she's alive again and that once she comes to terms with everything then there will be no need for them to ever know the truth. It has shades of her inferiority complex about having a superiority complex.
Things are not as they should be; she gets no joy or comfort from the group hug. She doesn't belong. She goes outside to the blinding sunshine and finds "˜death' waiting in the shadow of the building. Death, in the form of Spike is sitting there in the shade, just out of reach of the harsh light of day. He offers to leave but Buffy tells him that she can be alone with him there. Again Spike expresses real concern for Buffy:
SPIKE: Buff? ... Slayer? Are you okay?
BUFFY: I'm here. I'm good.
SPIKE: Buffy, if you're in ... if you're in pain ... or if you need anything... or if I can do anything for you...
She says there is nothing, he attempts to connect with her over the shared pain of torture but Buffy cuts him off. She tells him the truth about everything "“ about her being happy and at peace, about being complete and finished, about the suspicion that she was in heaven. And then she shares the resentment she feels for her friends, and that she is literally surviving on a moment to moment basis. Once it's out, Buffy gets self-conscious and dismayed that she's unburdened herself to Spike of all people. She warns him not to tell anyone else. And she walks away leaving death behind.
Now some people say this means nothing; that Buffy is just "whispering in a dead man's ear". But for me, I can't get past the fact that Buffy chooses Spike to finally unburden to. She doesn't choose her friends "“ they were the ones who bought her out of heaven against her will; as if she'd tell them! She doesn't choose Dawn "“ because Dawn is her younger sister and that would be unfair to her but more importantly Dawn is representative of Life and you can't really tell life that, in essence, you'd rather be dead. No, Buffy chooses Spike because he's been where she's been; he's died and been revived. He is death personified and Buffy feels, however unwillingly, an affinity with him. He was not involved in the resurrection. He has faithfully counted the days of her absence. He innately understands that her resurrection is not all good and he has been apologetic about his inability to prevent her from having to make the ultimate sacrifice.
And that's why I love After Life. I believe this is the beginning of Buffy and Spike in earnest "“ yes we've had amazing moments leading up to this and he groundwork for their relationship has been prepared beautifully. But now we have Buffy actively seeking him out. We have them with shared experiences. We have the beginnings of a tangible connection, of a friendship almost. Spike, for her, is something separate from the Scoobies and I really believe that this is part of his ongoing appeal. She doesn't have to share him, explain him, justify him or force him to fit with the gang and that makes him exponentially more attractive.
🙂
