Update Staff Decision

[Seraphim]

Kristine: The reason people aren't leaving negativity behind them is because they feel mistreated; either by fellow members, or by the staff. The staff has the power to end this cycle by getting rid of the misbehaving members and making it very clear what those members did to deserve it.

Unfortunately, the staff chooses to permaban well-respected, decent members without the slightest bit of explanation. This makes members feel mistreated by the staff. And so the negativity continues, because the staff has chosen to run things in this cloak-and-dagger way. And so folks like myself appeal to the decency of the staff to try and get things fairly resolved so that we can indeed put this negativity behind us.

FYI, VisionGuy suggested I PM an administrator. He's the only staff member who's suggested I PM rather than post openly, and the other 2-3 staff members who've posted have given no suggestion that a PM would be any better regarded than posts in this thread. So with all due respect, until I get a better and more assured course of action, I'd rather keep posting here, where at least there's accountability and some manner of public pressure, rather than taking it to PM where it's much easier to be dismissive of one's concerns. Thanks for understanding.

 

[Mesektet Ra]

I'm not leaving this thread because I believe too heavily in the issues at hand. I'm done dealing with you because, frankly, you're an insult to my intelligence and I've found that dealing with you is futile. But you're free as bird to think what you want of me, and I fully support you in doing so. Seriously, run amok, yo. Much power to you.

 

[captain peroxide]

Yeah,but who are the misbehaving members?

 

[Seraphim]

The ones who have been permabanned are, as near as I can tell:

yellowcrayon
ClemRocks
CotA
Harm's Way
Miss_Universe
anyalover17

Harm, Uni, and Anya made nasty remarks about Buffy on Anya's personal Facebook page, and deserved what they got (IMHO).

We have no clue what Clem did, but he's clashed with the administration before and I haven't heard his side of the story, so I won't remark on him yet. Same with CotA.

yellowcrayon is innocent. She once said something about Buffy that got misinterpreted, and she repeatedly apologized in public and in private. Otherwise, she's been a very well-regarded and well-respected member -- Member of the Month, etc. She even changed Houses for Buffy's sake, to prove she wanted to be above cliques and so on. I can think of at least a dozen people here who will vouch that they have never seen or heard of YC bullying anyone, and moreover that they do not believe YC is capable of being a bully in the first place. This is why I believe the administration should explain why exactly they decided she was such a threat to the order of the boards that they felt they had to ban her.

 

[LizzieRainbow]

Wow! I cannot believe that everyone is still fighting about this. Okay i am friends with a lot of the banned members and i am sad that they have been banned. I did not once see YC being nasty to other members, i love her to bits, as i do teh other banned memebers, but i am not a Mod, i do not see everything that happens on these boards.
So i dont know the reason for each individual person that has been banned, but screaming about it in a thread is not going to solve anything, as some have said if you want a response about why someone has been banned all you can do is PM Buffy and ask.
Buffy has made the descision to ban people to try and solve this problem yet everyone is still fighting! And why? If there is a problem the best way is to talk to a Mod or Buffy, because this thread is just going back and forth between people bickering.
Please all stop this fighting. Fighting will not solve anything.

 

[Mesektet Ra]

For what it's worth, I do want to apologize to the people that have been keeping up with this thread for the way I've acted. I fed into behavior I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. I truly don't want anything I've said to negate that points I've made or am currently trying to make. I'm here with a point, and I don't want the fact that I acted rashly to negatively effect that.

 

[captain peroxide]

No need to apologise,you got caught in the heat of it like a lot
of us did.:lmao:

 

[Seraphim]

Lizzie, it's not my intention to fight. I'm just here to get some questions answered.

You're right, none of us are mods, and so we don't see everything that happens on these boards. But I'm a husband, and I do see pretty much everything my wife does on and off BB. 🙂 That's why I'm compelled to go to bat for her -- I know for a fact that she's not guilty of the accusations against her.

It might be easier to just PM a mod and get it resolved that way, but that wouldn't do much resolve the core issue, which is transparency and accountability... not to mention the mods have given me no sign that they would treat me better in private than in public. So I go with what I've got, y'know?

You have my sympathies, really and truly. :sigh:

 

[Washburne]

yellowcrayon is innocent.

And here's there your problem is. It's as far as you know. And before you go all crazy maybe I should tell you how I feel about her being banned. If that changes anything. From what I know it feels that her banning is a bit harsh. And I understand that you've questions. But the thing is that I don't know everything. I don't see what happens on the mods side and I'm not taking part in the group of the 29, fb conversations and don't spend time in any chat (since there's more than one). But just because something look like one thing from your side it doesn't mean that it looks the same to everyone else.

I'm not saying that YC has been bullying anyone or that if someone have seen it like that that she did it on purpose. But obviously someone have felt like it. Ok. So as proof you say that you know her and that a few people on here doesn't think she has it in her. I have no doubt that's true (their opinion). But the thing is it that I'm sure I could get more than a few people to say the exact same about me. Both members on this board and in real life. I don't have a wife but hopefully that won't be a dealbreaker. But still I've said things that's been hurtful (not my intention) that some of the staff got upset by. I've said a few things while being upset (mostly off boards) that hasn't been the best. I've had a few people on here telling me that I'm both rude, mean and make this place unfriendly. And that's the people that say it to my face. Maybe there's more people that go and complain to the mods. Or maybe I'm so scary that they don't dare. As I said earlier I know it's happened with other people.

You can't see it and fair enough. But you think that just because you don't get to know who said these things about YC that it's all wrong. I don't think you get the whole concept of people being scared or wanting to remain anonymous. You don't feel they have a reason but you're not in their shoes so who are you to tell them how to feel? I could go into a few reasons why they might be scared but does it really matter? And we get that you (and probably more members) think it's unfair that you can't get the answers you want. But you've already been told what to do and what they won't tell you. Think it's unfair if you want but saying the same thing over and over again probably won't make much change. Besides maybe make people annoyed.

My own experience and I know for others too is what works best it to send Buffy a pm. But if you don't want to do that for what ever reason that's your choice. It might still not get you the answers you want but I'd bet it's your best chance.

 

[buffyesque]

After reading this thread in it's entirety I have been left wondering why the mods here don't step in and do their job: MODERATE.

Someone needs to reign Athena in, sorry dear. You're completely crass and rude. You claim to be close friends with the administration here, and your behavior and use of profanity is making this board look bad! Especially since you're friends with Buffy. You should compose yourself. It makes me think that she shares your view, by not telling you to take it down a notch. As an administrator of my own forum, your display is completely embarrassing to this board and if you were a friend of mine you'd have been told to simmer down already. You are making this board look bad.

"Nice laughing at you!" - remarks like this, from a close friend of the admin. And you get away with it. Nice.

 

[Seraphim]

KinSlayer:

I don't doubt there was some sort of actual reason -- however misinterpreted, skewed, twisted, untrue, etc. -- that YC got the boot. I just want to know what.

The difference between you and YC is that you haven't been permabanned for saying things that got taken the wrong way. She did.

I will admit that I have no patience with rats -- if you're going to talk shit about someone, have the decency to do it to their face. Don't hide behind anonymity. This is a web forum. It's not like YC is a stalker. It's not like she has the personal info of her accuser and will use it to hunt 'em down as payment for the cruel injustice of the permaban. She's a big girl. She has no desire or need for revenge. She just wants honesty, and so do I.

I don't know every last detail of everything that's gone on. That's why I haven't asked for answers regarding why Clem and CotA got the axe. However, YC is my wife. I know her. I know that whatever the reason she got permabanned, it's not because she was actually bullying or threatening the stability of the boards. And so, out of fairness, I want to find out why, so she can get the honor and honesty her name deserves. Instead, all I keep getting is this Ahmadinejad-esque "you are not permitted to protest the regime in the streets!" 😛

 

[Spiral]

After reading this thread in it's entirety I have been left wondering why the mods here don't step in and do their job: MODERATE.

Someone needs to reign Athena in, sorry dear. You're completely crass and rude. You claim to be close friends with the administration here, and your behavior and use of profanity is making this board look bad! Especially since you're friends with Buffy. You should compose yourself. It makes me think that she shares your view, by not telling you to take it down a notch. As an administrator of my own forum, your display is completely embarrassing to this board and if you were a friend of mine you'd have been told to simmer down already. You are making this board look bad.

"Nice laughing at you!" - remarks like this, from a close friend of the admin. And you get away with it. Nice.

thanks for taking the time to read everything i wrote and respond to it! 🙂

i really dont give a damn how offensive you find my profanity to be. people cuss. grow up and get the hell over it 🙂

and im not at all sorry for giving out a TASTE of what has been given for MONTHS to Buffy. You're implications that she "agrees" with me or is some how in league with what im doing show what you must think of her and honestly quite a few of you are showing your true colors in this thread and you dont even realize it but guess what? its here for all the staff to see.

the fact that you care more about trying to rebuke me (snicker) rather than the fact your admin and staff were abused and mistreated by a handfull of SHITTY MEMBERS show where your priority and loyalties lie.

do i give a damn what a bunch of self righteous, pompous people who dont even know me think of me? HELL NO i dont.

am i PISSED that MY friend was on the verge of ABANDONNING her own board because of what was happening to her at the hands of these SHITTY MEMBERS? HELL YES and are YOU going to stop me from speaking on it? I dont think so!

so say what you want. best believe I will too! 😉

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

"Nice laughing at you!" - remarks like this, from a close friend of the admin.

I really don't think you should judge someone by the remarks of someone else - that is highly unfair.

I like Mr Pointy, alot, we even have interesting exchanges on Facebook, but no one would ever judge him based on my behaviour.

Also, Athena is OBVIOUSLY emotionally charged because her friend has confided certain things in her, things that from my point of view are down right dispicable.

Are you telling me you wouldn't say something, on an emotional level, to strangers who were making your friends life an actual misery while in their own homes - thats exactly what is happening here.

Now, thats not me taking sides in this, thats me saying a) I understand Athenas response (I called people pitiful scum when I learned about Lyri and Kean) b) no one should be judged because of something someone else has said.

 

[five x five]

No wonder I couldn't post on Anyalover17's wall. She JUST adopted me so um... does that mean I'm up for adoption again? Kind of confused as far as that goes. I'm actually really surprised by who got permabanned but I'm new so I didn't know them all very well.

Either way, I'm kind of glad. I think that I would have done the same thing were I in Buffy's position or anyone else in the staff's position. It's not right that people were being bullied and as sad as it is to see some people go, I think that something had to be done and if this was it then we should be supportive of it.

 

[Spiral]

I really don't think you should judge someone by the remarks of someone else - that is highly unfair.

I like Mr Pointy, alot, we even have interesting exchanges on Facebook, but no one would ever judge him based on my behaviour.

Also, Athena is OBVIOUSLY emotionally charged because her friend has confided certain things in her, things that from my point of view are down right dispicable.

Are you telling me you wouldn't say something, on an emotional level, to strangers who were making your friends life an actual misery while in their own homes - thats exactly what is happening here.

Now, thats not me taking sides in this, thats me saying a) I understand Athenas response (I called people pitiful scum when I learned about Lyri and Kean) b) no one should be judged because of something someone else has said.

let me explain something to you. when your FRIEND comes to you and is having PHYSICAL discomfort because of what is happening to her (mistreatment that is FOLLOWING HER from off her board. people calling her names, gossiping about her in chat rooms, slamming her on social networking sights, even talking about doing bodily harm to her?) ...it DEFINATELY wont sit well with you.

I've been watching things here and elsewhere and i was PISSED...and i wanted to say something. it was getting to the point that she didnt even want to log into her own board? what kind of SHIT is that?

she lost friends and staff because of this.

I've known this woman for YEARS (both on and offline) and we've worked together on various boards.

She and her staff FINALLY did something to stop what was going on and to basically PROTECT themselves and those others harmed by that clique...and instead of members supporting her, she gets 2nd guessed and chided left and right by some self righteous ass people who think they know everything? no im NOT going to just sit here and make nice with people who are questioning my friend and all the GOOD that she does by maintaining this board as a favor to this community!

 

[Seraphim]

And as long as we're on the topic of honesty and transparency, it strikes me as damned peculiar that the staff went out and banned folks but didn't list who those folks were in their announcement. The six I've listed are definitely all permabanned, but honestly, I have no idea who else (if anyone) is also banned or on their way to a banning.

In the spirit of transparency, I'd like to also ask the administration to edit the OP of this thread to include a full list of who got banned as a result of this purge.

 

[buffyesque]

No, I'm not saying that being emotional about a friend being hurt is wrong at all. Everyone has the right to defend a friend. I'm saying that her constantly reminding us all that she's super BFF with the admin, then going full on snarky with anyone who says something she doesn't like looks bad on Buffy. I'm offended by her blatant attitude and disrespect for people who do not share the same view as she does. If the guy asked for some sort of explanation, Athena doesn't need to jump down his throat...use profane language and make a mockery of us all.

thanks for taking the time to read everything i wrote and respond to it! 🙂

i really dont give a damn how offensive you find my profanity to be. people cuss. grow up and get the hell over it 🙂

and im not at all sorry for giving out a TASTE of what has been given for MONTHS to Buffy. You're implications that she "agrees" with me or is some how in league with what im doing show what you must think of her and honestly quite a few of you are showing your true colors in this thread and you dont even realize it but guess what? its here for all the staff to see.

the fact that you care more about trying to rebuke me (snicker) rather than the fact your admin and staff were abused and mistreated by a handfull of SHITTY MEMBERS show where your priority and loyalties lie.

do i give a damn what a bunch of self righteous, pompous people who dont even know me think of me? HELL NO i dont.

am i PISSED that MY friend was on the verge of ABANDONNING her own board because of what was happening to her at the hands of these SHITTY MEMBERS? HELL YES and are YOU going to stop me from speaking on it? I dont think so!

so say what you want. best believe I will too! 😉

Excuse me? That is completely uncalled for, and flat out rude! As an admin, Buffy should take note of my feelings, as a member of her board. I do not think troublesome members should be let off the hook. Like I said, as an admin myself I know about this stuff. They deserve to be banned if they are causing problems. I do have issue with you being so disrespectful.

Hmm, take a look at the first notes in the FAQ:

"Buffy-Boards is committed to wiping out bullying on the site. This section outlines what the staff expects from you as a member, and what you can expect from us the staff.

What We Expect

- kindness and respect towards your fellow members

- including everyone, even newbies, in discussion on the board and in the chat"

So Athena can continue to be rude, and hurtful?

 

[Spiral]

Buffy should take note of my feelings, as a member of her board.

you're real quick to tell her what SHE should do but what about supporting HER when she needs it? you sound like the rest on here...trying to question HER at every turn and yet not even realizing the very real problem that LEAD to this action she took.

you're here at HER leisure dear...so before you go around barking orders, you might want to remember that.

and yeah i'm her friend...a long time friend who CARES about her and KNOWS how much she's been HURTING behind the SHIT she's been given around here so i'm GONNA be here and im GONNA speak on it until you or anyone else that feels like they can tell her how to do her job on HER OWN BOARD to BACK OFF of her!

 

[untouched]

I don't get half of what's going on around here and I don't really want to. I would just like to say something.
The first time I came into these boards I just couldn't believe I had someone to talk to about Buffy because at that time everybody around me thought that was the name of a cookie. I loved reading everybody's opinion and even though I never posted much (also 'cause I'm afraid I can't tell my point in correct english) I was always around. Something that is very dificult for me for personal reasons but I always tried because this place was great; the mood here was unexplainable. Everyone was nice and everybody cared even though they never even saw me. It was like an escape to me. I miss the old days of this place. Could you please make it like that again?

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

Could you please make it like that again?

I agree - my solution to that would be to ban everyone who joined after December 2007.