Stereotypes.

[NL197]

Maybe I'm stupid but how is that clear? You don't like to be liked? I didn't get that from your answer. Liking to be liked isn't the same as actually being liked. When you see yourself as more or less useless (my experience, not saying that you feel that way.) being liked can help understanding that people see some good in you, something you haven't seen yourself. It's not the ultimate way to gain confidence but as long as it's built on honesty and not just being in a group/gang of some kind and having people around you it's one way at least.

Well I expect it, so much so that no, I really don't like to be liked. I've seen so much of it faked, that being disliked is more real to me than anything else in that area. You truly know where you stand that way, at least. If I'm always waiting for someone to see the big flaw that will get someone to get rid of me, I figure just get it over with and don't waste anyone's time. In my mind, I'm meant to be disliked, so screw it - might as well live up to that now. Wasn't always like that, I got there over time.

Well if what you wrote in that post is anything to go by I can understand why. My honesty is often very negative when it comes to myself. I look down on myself, complain about the smallest things and have much higher expectations on myself than on anyone else. When it comes to others though I'm mostly the opposite and supporting. Why? Because I don't want anyone to be like me.

It may be negative, but it's honest nonetheless. Not an exaggeration. I would do everything I could to get someone to NOT be like me.

In the depressing/negative way that is. I do think a lot of people should be more like me in other ways. 😉 Something I've learned with time. For a long time I just saw myself as utterly useless and thought the world and family would be better off without me. I so don't feel like that anymore but I wonder if I'll ever get away from seeing myself in a negative way. Generally. What I'm really good at is "knowing" what other people think. Not sure getting confirmed that sometimes I'm right mean that I am all the time.

I'm not remotely close to being where you are. When it comes to what others think of me, based on my experience people really don't waste their time on that, not giving a second thought to who I am.

My feelings about myself is honest but does it make them the truth? Do I really know myself best in every way or am I just seeing things that aren't there?

Clearly people I've known saw something that wasn't worth their time. I eventually saw that and that's all I see now.

I can't remember the english expression but you must know it. If you see things a certain way it'll happen. If you have experiences that confirm those views you'll get even more certain that they are true. Thing is, most of the time you're making them true. A positive view instead of a negative one won't make everything go positive but the negative view sure doesn't help. Now changing that view sure isn't easy. I'm still nowhere near it. When it comes to myself.

Considering every time I did look at things in a positive way, and thought things were genuinely good only to be thrown aside as though I don't exist, I think I'm justified in saying what I said with certainty, given how often it's happened. Things go well, great even, and then suddenly it's as though it never happened at all. If you want some specifics so you can decide for yourself if I somehow sabotaged them, I'll provide.

Does that go for online too? Because if you do and don't see care as either total or not existing I'm confident that some care. Maybe not that much yet, but if we get to know you better it might increase. That you're seen as negative isn't the same thing as them not caring. Not that what happened to me is certain to happen to you but I can assure you that I've met so many more people here that care about me more than I could ever imagine. Since I imagined the total of members giving a d**n about me would be 0.

Whether it's face-to-face or behind a monitor and keyboard, I don't see the difference when I'm talking to someone. I'm not going to hide behind some sense of anonymity - who I am online is the same as offline. Hell I even make a point of proving it in whatever small ways I can because it is so easy for people to just lie, play roles, exaggerate, and worse just because they're online. I don't do that. I don't need to or want to. It doesn't matter if you're half-way across the world from where I am or two houses down from me, if you saw me walking down the street and met me you would see the same person for real as you do here.

But that's my side of it.

I'd be a fool to expect that of everyone, because hey, this is the internet. The tubes lead to all kinds of deceptive places when they're not filled and stuck (don't ask...) so it's easier for people online to say they care, or to say they don't, because of that same sense of anonymity. They know you won't (likely, but not impossible since it can happen) ever meet face-to-face so they can say whatever they want. Some people are actually themselves online, and that's great. Some are not and that's understandable. Not the liars, the private types.

Since I've been there myself I feel stupid to ask but I feel I have to. Why is a certainty? Because it hasn't happened yet? It might be unlikely but nothing's for certain. I'm still shocked about the fact that I found someone that really loved me even if I didn't love myself. I was even in the lowest point in my life and can't imagine where I had ended up without this person. Was it "real" love or not? Who can judge? I was there and I wouldn't have it undone for anything. What helped me was internet. If we'd met in real life we would never had gotten to know each other as well as we did.

Hasn't happened yet...make that won't happen at all. People don't see me that way. If people (the face-to-face kind) don't see anything in me that's worth being a friend to, how stupid would I be to think anyone would or could ever see more than that?

That would be a colossal waste of time on anyone's part, given how I'm obviously seen as a colossal waste of time even being a friend to - again, face-to-face.

I've found that in the end I really don't care about that anymore though - if I had a few good friends to hang out with that would be more than enough for me.

I'd like to hope that one day I can meet some of these 'online' world people and do just that in the real world, but then again chances are I'd end up right where it all started.

As seen above. Been there, done that and been proven wrong. Or maybe it wasn't real, or real enough. Might depend what you put into the word.

Real as in face-to-face. Been there, done that, and continue to be proven right. We can't all live the same positive experiences.

---------- Post added at 04:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:21 PM ----------

I've always been a kind of walking contradiction when it comes to stereotypes. I think people have a hard time categorizing me, which can be both beneficial and harmful. I've had trouble understanding other people my age, especially girls. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. Not interested in trying any of these things. I don't understand house parties. When people ask me about these things, they're surprised to hear my response, especially adults. Obviously, I love to have fun though: dancing, singing, just being silly. I've had people ask me how I have fun without alcohol, and I just give them one of these :jawdrop: and tell them that they're missing out. 😀 Even the clothes I wear don't really "belong" to certain stereotypical styles (you know those titles? "Hipster," "Preppy," "Goth," etc). I just wear whatever I feel good and comfortable in.

I don't do any of those things either. The question is always 'how come you don't drink', and my reply is often 'how come you do'. Chalk it up to profound lack of interest, seeing what it does to people, and my father.

You pretty much hit it on the head - my reasons for the rest are the same as yours are so I'd just be repeating you.

I don't "get out" a lot in the sense that I don't party on a regular basis. Sometimes I ask myself: Am I missing out? Isn't this the "normal" thing I should be interested in? I know I'm not missing out on much, but I still ask myself this sometimes. I've been to a couple of house parties, and have actually left because these parties aren't about catching up and hanging out with people. You can't really have a conversation with a person when he/she is falling all over the place.

I don't get invited to parties, but you illustrated why I'm actually grateful for that.

I've been told I could model, and I'm a confident person, but I'm really humble, kind and friendly, and I think people are surprised by that sometimes. This past summer, I was on the bus, and a guy asked if he could give me his number, and he was so surprised that I was nice to him. However, from a young age, I've never been concerned with having a boyfriend. My friend told me he didn't understand why I've never had luck with guys, but I think it's because they're kind of afraid, since they can't really categorize me. I'm also pretty reserved, quiet and I like staying at home. I value school, but am a fan of self-directed learning; I'm all about health/nutrition, but if I'm craving those cookies, I'm going to eat them; I have a whole bunch of passions/interests, but am afraid to pursue them.

As I said in my even longer post, while the issue of dating and all of it isn't even an option to me - just not that person anyone would want to date - I'd be happy just spending time hanging out talking or watching something on TV. You haven't seen reserved, I'll tell you that. It's easier for me to 'speak' by typing, but to speak out loud is a chore and a half.

Most of what I'd like to do in life is impossible for the time being, given my situation.

I would never approach anyone on a bus for any reason other than to sit down - and most of the time I'll stand - because past experiences (especially around girls) has shown that the last thing I should be doing is talking to anyone at all, since I seem to repulse people just by being there. I'm one of those guys you would see walking, minding my own business when a girl is walking by toward me, and moves out of the way in a disgusted manner - like heaven forbid their backpack doesn't graze my backpack - like that.

Don't know what stereotype that falls into, but it's certainly not a good one.

 

[KristenVictoria]

I don't do any of those things either. The question is always 'how come you don't drink', and my reply is often 'how come you do'. Chalk it up to profound lack of interest, seeing what it does to people, and my father.

That's exactly what I ask people as well.

As I said in my even longer post, while the issue of dating and all of it isn't even an option to me - just not that person anyone would want to date - I'd be happy just spending time hanging out talking or watching something on TV. You haven't seen reserved, I'll tell you that. It's easier for me to 'speak' by typing, but to speak out loud is a chore and a half.

I truly believe that there is someone for everyone (not always in the romantic sense). There is balance in the world; yin and yang. It may come in the form of a romantic relationship, it may come in the form of a familial relationship, it may come in the form of a genuine friendship.

Most of what I'd like to do in life is impossible for the time being, given my situation.

What would you like to do?

 

[NL197]

That's exactly what I ask people as well.

There seems to be this need to have alcohol involved or weed, or whatever, in order to 'have fun'. I've never seen that as a requirement. I'm glad you don't either.

I truly believe that there is someone for everyone (not always in the romantic sense). There is balance in the world; yin and yang. It may come in the form of a romantic relationship, it may come in the form of a familial relationship, it may come in the form of a genuine friendship.

Having someone to run around with, talk nonsense, watch TV on the couch, window shop, that's the dream, and sometimes it comes true but then always goes away. Romance doesn't even enter into it either. I mean right now the one I do that with is a 9 year-old schnoodle. The other one's not the best for that sort of thing.

What would you like to do?

Go back to school, not have to supervise a parent like a babysitter every day, play frisbee at the beach or explore bike paths like I used to do...in other words, just plain live.

One more thing:

Your signature gif. I bet no one knows the little logo in the corner of it - The New VR. They were "new" for like 5 years before they became A Channel...damn that was one annoying channel. "We Are The New VR". Don't miss that...but the dance is funny. 🙂

 

[Ms.Trick]

Lately I've been thinking again about stereotypes, because at school, there is that weird system because of which me and my work group are in a "class" for some subjects and in "units" for other subjects.
In my class, there are a lot of people I had misjudged. I always keep in mind that I don't know people and what I see is not necessarily what the person is actually. I realize I was very wrong about a lot of people of my class.

There is a guy, who I thought seemed to be a bit snotty and quite antipathic is actually a funny nice geek and a real geek.
Two guys who had a "Yeah we are so cool we like to drink it's so much fun lol and we hang out with pretty girls lolz" attitude are actually two really nice guys too!
A guy who was in my class last year and was really scaring me (because he was always staring at people with a weird expression, I never knew what I was supposed to do or to think. He has a sharp look like an owl. So when he was staring at me with is owl-eyes, it was a bit like that:

When he's staring at people, he is a bit like that so you can't not notice you are being stared at. So. That guy was really creeping the hell out of me, but now, even tough he keeps staring at people, he lost a bit is frightening touch. He's intelligent, funny, and a bit of a loser actually, you know, the kind who says jokes no one laughs at and he's laughing on his own, most of the time. It would be just great he stops staring at people x.x

There is also a girl who looked like a queen-bee. You know, very pretty, always surrounded by a lot of people, popular with guys, she was on many parties pictures, and she has that kind of leader vibes. Another friend also thought she was one of those superficial girls (there is a lot of them in my school) but actually, she is very shy. Really, whenever she talks, she blushes a lot and doesn't always finishes her sentences. I thought "Really? That's kind of a big surprise!". AND. She's as much a no-life as I am because she has nothing else to do than looking at her house with Google Earth. I was happy to know I wasn't the only one to do that :tongue3:

Another one was also the kind "I'm pretty and I make a fish mouth on every picture and everybody comments 'you're so prettyyyyyyyyyyy' "
She's actually intelligent, nice AND she is the first one this year who told me "Can you send me your notes for that class? I wasn't there! And so you know, I firmly believe in collaboration, I can send you some stuffs in English, as I've seen you needed stuffs and I also have good notes if you need some". That was really great because it happens too many times that you help people but they can't help you when you need it as well.

I could go on with many people of my class. It's just the proof that even if someone really seems to be snotty, superficial, stupid...well it might be completly wrong. It's good to remember that, sometimes, and to remember I'm far from being completly stereotypes-free!

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Ever since MP3's came out I really have had no use for stereotypes.. I did like a few different ones when I had alot of CDs but not so much anymore.

 

[Goldilocks]

I think it is so ridiculous to put people into a box. Everyone is unique!! I know, I'm the person who should say this, because I am the one having complexes about my appearance, but I think that it is ridiculous too. The most important thing is to love yourself, and see all the positive things in yourself. I'm going through a lot, but I've learnt a lesson, and therefore I advise people to be satisfied with themselves, because every human being is unique. It is just a shame that media has such a big influence on us. It shows us all of these skinny, tiny people we wanna "be like".
I've always dreamed about getting a body like Victoria Beckham's, but then I realized that it is impossible, because she can probably afford 100 of liposuctions and plastic surgeries. So what we see in the fashion magazines is not "real".
People just gotta love themselves because they are unique and shouldn't be put in a silly box.

 

[Abbeycat]

I hate stereotyping especially when it makes people feel that way. Like they don't fit anywhere and feel out of place like they don't belong. Because I know how that feels because I've always felt that way.