Stories of the drunks..

M

mire

procrastinator at work.
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there's a thread in karma bout this, but not here so..
know any funny storie that envoles drunkness and clumbsines..or any embarrising thing? ::blush:: 😛
 
lol, i've seen this thread in Karma aswel it was pretty funny reading them..
I have so many drunken stories it's shameful *mm maybe i should stop drinkin..or not!* most of them involve me falling over, or my friends drawing on my face and letting me walk around with it on ::blush:: or just randomlly shouting something out when it was not right at the time or it jus didnt hav anything to do with wel anything...
 
well i might said something stupid (more than the ussual) yesterday coz i was a lil typsy..
coz yesterday me and some buds went to see the game at the giant screen downtown at the bay,..and..well..it was hot..so..a couple of beers..and then..the game ended..so..a couple of more to clebrate.. then we wnet to one f the girls house..and..well pisang ambom and bacardi..and..well lets say, it was embarissing stuff evolving me and my 2 friends dancing and amking waves ..and..well i leyts say, me caring the flag and my friend in the midle of the street at 2am.. while she tried to shout "whooooho!" everytime a car passed..and the other girl was too busy laughting by herself...
well i wasen't drunk... i mean..i.. ok, maybe a litlle.. but..err.. ok, lesson learned..no more beer..untill sunday at least.. 😛 😀 ::dance::
 
Nothing funny has happened to me really. I remember one night when I was 4-years-old my father and my Uncle (some long italian name i wont begin to try to spell) were drinking all these shots of vodka. and i drank this one in one gulp and they thought that was the best thing in the world. then one time my cousins and I got drunk and there just happened to be a tornado out on the ocean somewhere. we decided to go swimming and had to be rescued by off duty life guards. then a couple weeks ago i got a little tipsy with my friends. for some reason shannon and i kept screaming "LAUREN LOOK OUT FOR THE CARS!" even though there were no cars in the area. yeah, nothing funny has happened to me.
 
I've got a few.

Let's start with last Christmas shall we? I as at home... enjoying a few large glasses of this cocktail my uncle had made.

Ingredients:

Litre bottle of Vodka.
Half a bottle of Peach Schnapps.
Half a bottle of Bacardi.
Lots of fruit juice.


After a good few glasses of that and some shots of "Apple Sours" I was, lets say, a bit more than tipsy. My uncle was drinking it out of a metal flask. So I decided I would lick the excess off the side of it. Next thing I know, the cap had come off my front tooth. So not only did I have a gap in my front tooth but it was Xmas. And do you know how hard it is to get a dentist at Xmas?

There are more stories. But I'll tell them later.

😀
 
The nights of Captain Morgan, Jose Quervo, Jim Beam, and Jack Daniels have gotten to me. I have some great stories... unfortunately, just like high school, they have been replaced with beer foam and bong water...oops.
I'll get back to ya on that one.
 
At my aunt's wedding (I was 14) one of my dotty older great-aunts had made fruit punch. What she didn't bother to tell me that the main ingredient was about 2 gallons of vodka. I had a BIG glass, and decided it tasted funny. So, I proceeded to fish out the cherries and fruit pieces and eat them...the rest of the story involves a nasty projectile vomit session in front of a lot of people...I still have no clear memory of the rest of that weekend...
 
I'm not even gonna start down this road...suffice it to say there have been many occasions involving excess alcohol (I'm just old, not a lush btw😉) some of which were funny and others not so much...

I love these PC booze adverts we get nowadays - you know the ones...
"Drink Old Rat's Arse Scrumpy Cider. It makes you witty, clever and popular with the opposite sex...Please enjoy Old Rat's Arse in moderation" ie. Please buy our booze but we'd appreciate you not drinking very much of it 😉
 
I also have several stories about an excessive amount of alcohol. I'll start with my favorite (and not particularly embarassing) story.

I went out with my 2 best friends to a club in Toronto. We met up with some people we knew and had a group of about 15 people. We all decided to do Tequila shots. after about 10 each they were no longer on sale and we switched to vodka. By the end of the night all of us were dancing in a circle, arm-in-arm (because we couldn't stand on our own) all over the club. We must have looked like we were having a great time so a bunch of other people from the club decided to join in. In the end we had about 50 people holding each other up. It was one of the most fun nights of my life.

I'll tell more embarassing ones later, if you're unlucky
 
Oh boy where do we start. Some of the more tame ones that I can actually post on a public forum.

One of the most memorable was where my mate jumped on me, I fell hit my head off the ground went unconcious and was taken to hospital in the ambulance at 3am in the morning for a skull x-ray, had fun at the hospital, well my friends did as I was lying in bed. Next night I was out drinking again. Went to work the day after, had an epileptic fit, possibly related to the concussion, ended up in the hospital for another skull x-ray and the nurse recognised me. I'm sure that was also the same night that in the back room played pool I sorta flashed so my mate would miss his shot.

Met strangers lots of times and ended up at their parties having great times and still in contact with them, met some American Marines and ended up in the cemetary at 4am in the morning.

Went out on a Friday and didn't go home till the Wednesday staying with friends, having weekend long parties, meeting more sailors and marines, dancing on chairs and tables, pole dancing to guns 'n' roses.

Lots more but thats all for now 😉 I guarantee you a night out with me is never a normal, quiet night.

Just rembered another one, a friend and I went to see James Marster's band play in Edinburgh, the que was really long and it was around 4/5pm so we hit the pubs working our way up the que going into pubs on the way. Got in, more drinks, can't recall much of the gig. Came out, still light, more pubs, ended up in the Balmoral, poshest hotel in Edinburgh as my mates flatmate is the barman there, free cocktails, it was also James's hotel but was too wasted to see if he was there.

Was out on a tour work night out, dancing on a stage, ended up in a casino, not before dancing and singing in the street to show tunes with my friend Cara. Left Caasino at 6am, there was a pub open, got home about 11am...
 
hmmm, some of my drunken stories..
Last time i got drunk was when England was playing Switzland and we was rather drunk during the game and we'd been cheerin etc and it was all silent and everyone was watching the game and i stood up and shouted 'F*cking Get In!' by which everyone turned and Laura(one of my bessie m8's) goes 'We haven't scored' and I was like ok then and sat back down...

....another time was when we was in France on a school trip and I was rather drunk...actually *really* drunk and I past out on my bed and woke up to Jess and Dom(two of my bessie m8's) laughin at me (it was like 3am) and I got out of bed and went to my friends room and everyone was staring at me and Hayley goes 'asif you're going out like that' and I was like 'huh?!? wot' so I just carried on my lil old way and everyone kept laughin so I ran into the bathroom and Dom and Jess had drawn on my face while I had passed out and they wrote 'Maus Rules' a monobrow, moustache and glasses, and well I had them laughing at me for the rest of the trip...damn them..

...another time was when we was out and we was with some off the lads who were in the year above us and Nat(one of my bessie m8's) is really flexiable and was doing a high kick(no idea as we were both pretty drunk) and so I tried to do it so I went running did a high kick slipped and landed flat on my arse and I just layed there in puddle, while everyone laughed at me...I beginning to thing me and alcohol do not mix..
 
OH MY! You little drunken monkeys!!!

Well, I too have many drunken tales but my favorite has nothing to do with ME being drunk...now I WAS mind you but it was my GUY that did this...

Of all the beautiful stories I could have to share with my kids about the first time their father professed his love for their mother...we had worked together all day on the decorations for my Halloween party and by the end we were both exausted, I had already seen him in a dress, and when I went and found him to say hello he looked at me, said " I-I'm in love with you..." then proceeded to vomit all over my shoes.

Now, how could I have let a dashing man such as that slip through my fingers?
Nope, I knew I had to marry THAT one!
 
LMAO!!
Well i went to my freind Kim's birthday party not so long ago and she an idea to sleep in a tent...so we did..her father bought us Vodka and LOTS of Cider so there we were drinking it all and Kim decides we should play dare's so we did she dared me to run into the garden take my top off and throw it in the hedge...so i did..I was spining around getting ready to throw my top in the headge and i must have spun so much i threw up...after throwing my top...and I didnt remeber any of this till someone told me the net day were i woke up confused and not knowing were my top was...

And there was that time i managed to trip and fall of my mothers balcony after having one to many...lucky i didnt hurt my self...lol i did end up in hospital needing to have my arm x-rayed cuz she thoguht id broken it.
 
Slayer_Angel said:
LMAO!!
Well i went to my freind Kim's birthday party not so long ago and she an idea to sleep in a tent...so we did..her father bought us Vodka and LOTS of Cider so there we were drinking it all and Kim decides we should play dare's so we did she dared me to run into the garden take my top off and throw it in the hedge...so i did..I was spining around getting ready to throw my top in the headge and i must have spun so much i threw up...after throwing my top...and I didnt remeber any of this till someone told me the net day were i woke up confused and not knowing were my top was...

And there was that time i managed to trip and fall of my mothers balcony after having one to many...lucky i didnt hurt my self...lol i did end up in hospital needing to have my arm x-rayed cuz she thoguht id broken it.
Click to expand...
God Sar,you're only 14...although..I'm just as bad...😉
 
Sadly, when I'm drunk it's less of a funny thing and more of an emotionally charged insanity... But I do have a really good story, at least if you're me.

So one night, about a year ago, I was up late watching HBO (interesting late night programming), and the phone rang. It was already around twelve am, so when I answered, I wasn't in the friendliest of dispositions. Well, it turned out to be an old friend of my dad's who I had never even heard of, let alone spoken with before. I kindly told him that my dad was unavailiable and took a message and just as i was about to get of the phone, the guy started asking me all sorts of questions about school and my hopes for the future and whatnot. I "complied" and answered him and was courteous and all.... For about three hours, just listaning to this insane guy who had OBVIOUSLY had a few before he invaded my evening and proceded to wash away his inhibitions for the rest of the night. It got to the point that I had to pee so badly, that I was walking around the kitchen island in circles. Now, everyone pees while on the phone, even if they don't admit it, but this is usually a privilidge reserved for close friends, not drunken strangers. So there I am, still doing laps of the kitchen, and I hear the b@stard flush his toilet. That was it, I just had to go, and I figured that he had been talking this long, he'd probably go on for a while longer, so I set the phone down on the counter and made a quick dash to the loo. When I returned, he was still going on about an inspirational book about rhinos or some such load of rubish, which I dishonestly promised to read. He was really very excited about book.... So excited in fact that he decided that he would read part of it to me over the phone. Next thing I know, he's SCREAMING into the phone stuff like "and then the powerful rhinocerous crashed through the jungle, squashing...". Eventually, he got a bit tired and ended the conversation... four hours later. Did I mention that he didn't know me? Did I mention that he called long distance? That's my fovourite part.

That's my story about drinking. I hope that you all enjoyed it.

Rayne: I like your story; it's real. It's not some contrived heap of overly romantic garbage. It's real and honest and sweet inspite of the ick factor. I think that you should most definitely tell that story to your grandchildren.
 
Many funny stories! See...this is why I don't drink!
So i don't have many stories...The closest thing I come to one is that my uncle makes me drink champagne every year on New years eve...don't ask why he wants me to like it, I never do!

I have a few stories about others though...
A few new years eve's after each other some people my parents once knew (who they never meet other times of the year), come to visit. They're always really drunk when they get here, and they like singing...and after a little while they get my dad to bring out the guitar...It's loud, and it's horrible! Especially the woman can't sing! And she's the loudest, of course!

And my bestfriend, right after she was 18, had been out drinking one night, and decided to come and visit me...So she, her boyfriend and a friend of them came and knocked on my window...My bestfriend kept going on about how her boyfriend was gonna buy her a hotdog, and the two guys were looking into my room, and said they thought it was really kool...And the next day my bestfriend couldn't even remember she had been here!
People get weird when they drink!
 
I've never been to the full point of "drunk"...but enough to be silly. My mom...now there's some hilarious stuff. During Christmas, we were at my aunt's house, and we'd all had some margaritas. Mom opened the oven and stuck her head in. Everyone freaked out, until they realized the oven wasn't on...Me and some friends were at a party once and this way past drunk guy started running around yelling "COPS!". Everyone scattered like cockroaches, except for the few that were too drunk to make it to a hiding place. That was fun times...I don't care much for drinking to the point of being way drunk - I do enough stupid stuff without the help of alcohol. Just ask my friends who were in the car when I yelled "F*** YOU!" at a cop...
 
LMFAO! *sigh* Wow...some of you are too young to have stories like these! Take your time...the destruction of brain cells should be done in moderation...lol...

Kindred, thank you...I actually feel the same way...but it's still just so funny to me...we haven't done anything "regular" in our relationship. It's all been done backwards or untraditionally. But hey, I like our history together. We're a good match.
As for your midnight caller...LMFAO! You are a LOT nicer than I...I would have screamed "Oh my GOD! The house is on fire! AHHHHHH!" and hung up on him...😛

Drinking is not the greatest thing...there are just as many bad stories as "good" ones. Of course it's better to focus on the "good" times I suppose. I know that alcohol is good for "liquid bravery". Who here has done or said things to people that they never would have sober? I can't tell ya how many times I had to be plowed to tell a guy how I felt...even if it was by shoving my tongue down their throat after they ran into a wall and nearly passed out laying in the hall...he had a few questions the next day...lol...but it's a good memory anyway.
 
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