Strong opposite opinions.

Nix

Nix

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Christopher Biggins out of Big Brother over comments 'capable of offence' - BBC News

These comments on Celebrity Big Brother this year got me thinking...I know thinking does happen sometimes ;p What do you do when you come across someone in real life with completely opposite views to your self? How do you handle them when they have very strong opinions?

Personally I tend to shut up once I have realised nothing I say will matter or be heard/listened to. I try to move away so I don't get irritated or angry. I have to say I was very annoyed at Mr Biggins comments on T.V. as in the above link. I watched it on T.V. and it actually had an effect on me. Probably because I class myself as bi and that is pretty much what he hit out on...this is why it got me thinking. Am I the only one that just shuts up?
 
It depends, if I'm having a big disagreement with someone but the topic is just a matter of opinion (like what's better, wine or beer? Silly example but you know, something that isn't offensive), then it's all in good fun and we can just drop it and laugh about it.

If it's a comment like this guy made, which I find disgusting and plain wrong, I do not tend to drop it. These kind of confrontations have gotten quite aggressive in the past when it deals with topics like racism, homophobia, feminism, or some other equally important issues. Those are the topics I will usually confront people about, and I rarely back down. Not so much until I change their opinion (bigots will not change their opinions), but at least until I've been heard and defended whatever I believe in.
 
Well, I don't enjoy arguing.
So yeah. Usually I just shut up.

I'm not a fan of strong opinions in general.
So often it just means that people refuse to see things from another point of view.
An interesting discussion to me is trying to understand why people think the way they think not to convince them to think the same way I do.

/SK
 
Just to add, I agree with SK in general, unless your opinion is directly attacking the identity of someone else, which is when I start having an issue with it. I don't think every opinion is valid if your opinion is discriminatory. I try to be open minded, but for me not every topic is up for debate.
 
I do try to see all sides of an argument and that can sometimes make me seem like I don't have a stong opinion, which I do. I just don't like arguing. So people think they've persuaded me to thier opinion but really I still strongly disagree, I've just decided to stop arguing.

As an avid watcher of BB, I was a fan of Biggins. I have to say I don't think he's a bad person, he's just got some outdated and frankly stupid opinions that he's probably never been called out on before. Now he has, I hope he educates himself a bit more.
 
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It depends on the person - if it's a complete stranger or someone I've just met I'd probably bite my tongue (unless it was something really bad, like they made a racist or homophobic comment out loud, and I'd probably just give them a loud "Excuse me?!") but if it was a friend or family member, I'd say my piece. I find though, that people with strong opinions don't tend to back down about their strong opinions. So I'm likely the first to back down, but only because if it carries on I'm likely to get frustrated that they aren't listening to me!

Like my brother for example had very strong opinions on Brexit which I disagreed with, but there was no point starting anything, because he will never back down, even if he's absolutely wrong (I mean factually wrong, not just opinion wrong!) Even if he's wrong, he's still right in his mind, so I tend to just avoid that confrontation. 🙄

By all means, tell me why you feel the way you do about the subject, but don't tell me I'm wrong about my difference of opinion.
 
Gawd what is this guy stuck in 1995? Yeah sure just dismiss, buncha yer fellow LGBT-ers. Way to go there buddy! 🙁
 
I'd say it's about 60/40. I always try to shut up, or not get into it, but I have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut (or my eyes still. My urge to eye roll often gets me into trouble. I have no poker face), so if I meet someone with strong opposite opinions then it's about 60% chance I'll get into it with them, if I don't want to argue I pretty much have to walk away.
 
Actually it's more like 95% @Athena 😛
 
Athena
Athena
60%? You argue with me 100%! :-p
A lot of the people around me have strong opinions that are incredibly offensive (racist and sexist) and it depends on the person I'm talking to. If it's someone my age, a bit older or a bit younger, I argue. If it's an elderly like my mother-in-law I just shut my mouth because she was raised in a very different time and therefore a lot of her values are products of that time. We are taught to respect our elders. I don't wanna come out disrespectful and I don't wanna fight a losing battle anyway.

I think the people I care the most about changing in regards to sexisim and racism are my children and students. They're the people of the future and I really hope I have made a positive change in the way my students think.
 
I cared more when I was younger, but even then I wasn't likely to take offense. Frustrated, perhaps, but usually not offended. There are exceptions, and interesting enough that guy in the article is an example, of claiming bisexuals are just gay, though these days I more roll my eyes at it. But if so many bisexuals didn't suffer so much from attitudes like that (especially when it comes from a group that really should know better AND should know that the more we hang together the less likely we'll "hang separately") then I'd be inclined to just sigh and forget about it.

Even in my younger and passionate years, I had interest in and respect for many who held opposing views from myself. I'd even recommend authors who promoted views I didn't agree with just because their views were so well explained and presented (I probably gave my personal caveats about it, but I respected those views). There was one guy on another fanboard that I used to argue politics over all the time (about 10 years ago when I was more passionate), but I genuinely liked him, and when he lost his computer I contributed $60 to the fund to get him a new one and felt relieved when he joined back with the rest of us (and I felt grief when he finally died). And I have changed some deeply held beliefs over the years, but it's a slow process (and for the most part my views just became more moderate, though a few went through some radical changes).

I think it's because I don't equate ideas with the person, that I recognize under different circumstances and life experiences that I might think like other people, that is I could've been them, and they could've been me, had life dealt them (or me) different cards. While I can think people are evil (defined as intentionally seeking to get ahead by inflicting harm/oppression on others, even if only by proxy, this is especially true when it's over sensibilities rather than survival) or stupid, I don't automatically think those things because they hold a different view from me. Heck, I distanced myself from those who seemed like kindred spirits on the surface but were not people I liked or respected when I got to know them even if we did share many beliefs.

On top of that I like to "shop for new characters" and such for my stories, and I also like to understand my characters, so if I'm not careful then I might find myself "studying" someone to better understand them to put them in a story (with enough creativity that hopefully no one, not even the person I based the character on, would realize who I was basing the character off of), and most people don't want to feel like they're under a microscope (though me and other authors, including a published one, exchange some personal stuff understanding that we're putting each other under a microscope trying to get characters in our story right). And when I write, I can even find myself sympathizing with many of the bad guys I set up as villains, or at least find them intriguing somehow. (I believe I mentioned in another thread in this forum recently that I was surprised in getting choked up when a villain I was tired of finally died, but no matter how sad it was, I still thought he needed to die.)
 
Invite a bunch of fame hungry desperate z listers or nobodies to be filmed in a house with nothing to do and then feign outrage when they say and do sad and pathetic things. God I hate Big Brother, what a circus.

I'm not one for getting into arguments in real life if I can possibly avoid it. If a stranger is speaking rubbish I tend to dismiss them as an idiot and move on with my life. I've ended up in a shouting match with racists who were bullying some on a train but that's a bit different from actually arguing a point.

I have a pretty tight group of friends and it's not like I'm hanging around with racists, bigots etc. so there's really no cause for that kind of argument. I did have a close friend who mentioned she was planning to vote Conservative at the last general election which made my jaw hit the floor. She's doesn't share any of the parties actual values and is incredibly clever so I just couldn't believe she'd been duped into believing any of their lies. I tried my best to convince her, it was friendly enough, no idea if it worked.

It's a bit different on here. As a general rule the best conversations and threads involve strongly opposite opinions and I've learnt a lot from reading views I don't necessarily agree with. If I have time I'll argue my point as fully as I can and if it gets to a stage of agree to disagree then that's cool.
 
I don't see a problem with Big Brother removing him from the house, freedom of speech is not freedom from consequence....people often confuse that. He is absolutely entitled to his opinion and beliefs and can express them if he wishes but that doesn't mean that people have to put up with it and continue to give him a platform to share.

As far as how I personally deal with differing opinions; I tend to skirt around the issue. In my experience if someone has a strong opinion on something there isn't much you can do to change that opinion. And when strong feelings are involved conversations can quickly and easily get sour. IMO, most cases just aren't worth the tension and hurt feelings.
 
Nix said:
What do you do when you come across someone in real life with completely opposite views to your self? How do you handle them when they have very strong opinions?
Click to expand...

Even though I know that I am always right, I can accept the fact that sometimes there will be those poor, deluded souls who will disagree with my opinions.

I can only hope that they feel the same way.

I've never had any problem discussing my opposing views with anyone, as long as the discussion remains civil, and I do my best to back away from any exchange as soon as it begins to deteriorate from discussion to argument. Sometimes that is quite difficult, but I honestly do try.
 
I view homophobes as closed minded people who refuse to attemp to wrap their heads around anything that they disagree with.

However, kicking them out is not the best solution as homophobia will always be around in some form.

And speaking of opinions, I generally tend to express my opinions on things, even if they are unpopular, because the world needs some opposition in order to survive.
 
You aren't alone with sometimes keeping quiet.

I avoid conflict like the plague. Well, not so much as I used to, but for the most part, I just don't argue with people. Frequently, I'll just try to change the subject to something I have some common ground on with the other person.

Unless I know them really, really well. Then it's more like a discussion than an argument.
 
"A man convinced against his will
is of the same opinion still." - Lord Chesterfield

I will argue with someone when I see a point to it and when it can remain civil. I am on another board where the subject of sex education came up. I am fully in favour of it and the person I was arguing with was completely against it. But we managed to have a civil conversation (which I congratulated him on) but we cannot have those conversations anymore because that forum ruled religion and politics out of bounds, warned people against religion and politics on pain of suspension or dismissal and killed posts and threads mentioning it.

I have no qualms about getting into an argument with anyone but I have realized that it serves no purpose most of the time.
 
I tend not to argue with people since it mostly seems pointless. People have come to their views based on their upbringing - it's ingrained, part of their personality. If others feel as strongly as I do, and I can't imagine anyone changing my beliefs, then I don't presume I could change theirs.

If someone is being outwardly racist or homophobic, they can have at it. I have no interest in arguing with subhumans. Irrational hatred is irrational, there's no winning with folk like that.
 
For me, when I come across someone with a wildly different opinion to mine - I weigh it up. Do I like this person enough to forgive/ignore that part?

Usually yes. I have a few people in my life who are homophobic, imo in the true sense of the word. Three men who I would consider close to me, have been sexually assaulted by gay men. And their hate is pure fear and disgust- they acknowledge that too. I also have gay family and friends - but they all get along and there is no need to bring up the subject of life/love choices when there are other more enjoyable topics.

To me personally - Bisexual makes more sense than "choosing a team" but I can understand being only attracted to one sex. Choosing a team goes against gender being fluid?

Almost every one I know would be racist and alcoholic by the internets standards (haha typing Internet standards made me laugh - perhaps tumblr or fb standards?)

My 60 yr old Mum is most definitely racist but its hilarious. Most people with an asian background in australia pull the piss as much as anyone, she worked in a market where it is very culturally diverse, but hates asian tourists as much as the next person. Somedays when we are talking "why should you worry what you wear? That lady has a towel on her head" in public is a bit uhoh but at the same time later I laugh and hope no one was hurt - that was not her intention and wouldnt be.

Times have changed so much even in my short lifetime and I feel a bit sorry at times for those 60+ yrs they are from a different time when people had a laugh and were not so offended. Not to say there was no reason for offence but to choose - Oh thats an old dude with his own outdated opinion, he is not the only one in the world, and I choose not to be offended by the rest of them so I wont be by him.

It would be awfully boring if people always agreed, I see why they removed him, but at the same time - couldnt this call for discussion as to why people hold these beliefs? And what parts are true?

The last BB I watched in Australia had a bisexual issue too. I absolutely adored the girl in question - Tully. She went in a lesbian and came out bisexual (thinking she was hiding it from the cameras - kissing drew under a towel etc) she copped A LOT of flack. She has come out of it well and still has a social media presence.
 
OccaQuokka said:
The last BB I watched in Australia had a bisexual issue too. I absolutely adored the girl in question - Tully. She went in a lesbian and came out bisexual (thinking she was hiding it from the cameras - kissing drew under a towel etc) she copped A LOT of flack. She has come out of it well and still has a social media presence.
Click to expand...

Sorry, just had to comment on this as I am a massive BB fan and remember Tully well. I don't think she copped the flack simply because of kissing Drew (who wouldn't kiss Drew, he was gorgeous 🙂) but because she had a loving girlfriend on the outside and she was cheating.
 
The cheating was almost as big a deal as the "choose a side" debaters lol. I was on social media too much back then and while it was fun, people got crazy.

I still follow her and sent messages of support through the worst of it.

Cheating was more socially accepted than changing your sexuality at that stage, Im not sure if it is a cultural type thing in australia but many of similar personaility type of Tully do not acknowledge that its even that bad of a thing to do.

I coulnt imagine going into a house like that and depriving yourself to window shop
 
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