Xander
You Can Call Me Ash
Just a bit of lighthearted fun that spun out of my boredom, The Sunnydale High School Class of 1999 Beauty Contest. A few notes:
i) It contains a bikini portion (which it has to of course 😉) so if you will be offended do not look on.
ii) I know Faith wasn't in the class but I needed to make it a bit bigger, she was around at the time however.
iii) For imaginations sake lets say Xander is hosting it, Synder would be against it and Giles would seem odd to be talking about them in bikinis.
iv) I know some of the quotes are from post 1999 but was hard to try and find some.
v) I was going to have a poll but I took too long making it so I cant anymore, so just put who you think should win.
So here we go, with the first round, the bios.
Round 1- Introductions
(Imagine all the girls stood on the stage, looking beautiful and what not)
Buffy Summers: She may be small and blonde but she can kick ass. Our local vampire slayer and superchick.
Cordelia Chase: Queen of mean and got a body only a spoilt rich girl can afford. Every man's best dream but worse nightmare.
Harmony Kendall: Friend of Cordelias and also a spoilt little rich girl, however this one comes in blonde. Seemingly sweet and innocent but with a tounge that could kill.
Anya Jenkins: New to the school, she used to be feared by men, and now she is glared at by them. The fiesty blonde, well at times, ex-demon!
Faith......: Who needs a last name eh? The rogue Slayer with a fiesty evilness in her and she's not afraid to show it.
Willow Rosenberg: Everyone?s favourite red-head, cute adorable but with a sexy side only her boyfriend Oz has seen.
Round 2- Talent Portion
(Just a summary of what they will have done)
Buffy Summers: Slayed several vampires quickly.
Cordelia Chase: Made someone feel like a complete loser in just a few seconds.
Harmony Kendall: Talked for a whole 2 hours about how to look good.
Anya Jenkins: Ranted about how evil men and bunnies are, especially male bunnies.
Faith: Slayed vampires as well, but with more cleavage.
Willow: Floated several pencils and performed a theatre-like act with them.
Round 3- The Bikini Contest
Xander: "Yes ladies and gentlemen, what you've been waiting for. Please welcome the ladies onto the stage."
Xander: "What a great round that was."
Round 4- Question and Answers
Xander: "Right, in this round every contestant is asked an important political or social question and they must answer with what they think about it."
Xander: "So, Buffy. What is your opinion on war?"
Buffy: "War is about death. Stupid, pointless death."
Xander: "Thank you Buffy, very insightful. So now, onto Miss Chase. Cordelia, your question is, 'With a lot of bad events happening in the world today, how do you cope?'
Cordelia: "I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats!"
Xander: Right...thank you. Moving on. Harmony, now that High School is over what are your plans for the future and which do you believe is the right 'path' for students to take?"
Harmony: "I'm not going to make the same mistakes you did. I'm doing my homework. Reading books and stuff."
Xander: "Well it may be a bit late but well done for trying. Now, Anya, as a new student how does it feel coming to a new school without knowing anyone?"
Anya: "For a thousand years I wielded the power of the Wish. I brought ruin to the hearts of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of lower beings. I was feared and worshiped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. A child. And I'm flunking math."
Xander: "Okay, a bit more then we asked for but none-the-less. Faith. There is an increasing focus on celebrities in society, how do you feel about that?
Faith: "What can I say? I'm the world's best actor."
Xander: ?Well that was a rather random answer. Moving onto Willow. Willow, there is an increase in teenage pregnancies and teenagers having sex what do you think of this??
Willow: ?Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.?
Xander: "Well as weird and wonderful as the talent contest was it's okay. I want to thank the ladies and now its your turn to vote. Who will be the winner?"
i) It contains a bikini portion (which it has to of course 😉) so if you will be offended do not look on.
ii) I know Faith wasn't in the class but I needed to make it a bit bigger, she was around at the time however.
iii) For imaginations sake lets say Xander is hosting it, Synder would be against it and Giles would seem odd to be talking about them in bikinis.
iv) I know some of the quotes are from post 1999 but was hard to try and find some.
v) I was going to have a poll but I took too long making it so I cant anymore, so just put who you think should win.
So here we go, with the first round, the bios.
Round 1- Introductions
(Imagine all the girls stood on the stage, looking beautiful and what not)
Buffy Summers: She may be small and blonde but she can kick ass. Our local vampire slayer and superchick.
Cordelia Chase: Queen of mean and got a body only a spoilt rich girl can afford. Every man's best dream but worse nightmare.
Harmony Kendall: Friend of Cordelias and also a spoilt little rich girl, however this one comes in blonde. Seemingly sweet and innocent but with a tounge that could kill.
Anya Jenkins: New to the school, she used to be feared by men, and now she is glared at by them. The fiesty blonde, well at times, ex-demon!
Faith......: Who needs a last name eh? The rogue Slayer with a fiesty evilness in her and she's not afraid to show it.
Willow Rosenberg: Everyone?s favourite red-head, cute adorable but with a sexy side only her boyfriend Oz has seen.
Round 2- Talent Portion
(Just a summary of what they will have done)
Buffy Summers: Slayed several vampires quickly.
Cordelia Chase: Made someone feel like a complete loser in just a few seconds.
Harmony Kendall: Talked for a whole 2 hours about how to look good.
Anya Jenkins: Ranted about how evil men and bunnies are, especially male bunnies.
Faith: Slayed vampires as well, but with more cleavage.
Willow: Floated several pencils and performed a theatre-like act with them.
Round 3- The Bikini Contest
Xander: "Yes ladies and gentlemen, what you've been waiting for. Please welcome the ladies onto the stage."
Xander: "What a great round that was."
Round 4- Question and Answers
Xander: "Right, in this round every contestant is asked an important political or social question and they must answer with what they think about it."
Xander: "So, Buffy. What is your opinion on war?"
Buffy: "War is about death. Stupid, pointless death."
Xander: "Thank you Buffy, very insightful. So now, onto Miss Chase. Cordelia, your question is, 'With a lot of bad events happening in the world today, how do you cope?'
Cordelia: "I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats!"
Xander: Right...thank you. Moving on. Harmony, now that High School is over what are your plans for the future and which do you believe is the right 'path' for students to take?"
Harmony: "I'm not going to make the same mistakes you did. I'm doing my homework. Reading books and stuff."
Xander: "Well it may be a bit late but well done for trying. Now, Anya, as a new student how does it feel coming to a new school without knowing anyone?"
Anya: "For a thousand years I wielded the power of the Wish. I brought ruin to the hearts of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of lower beings. I was feared and worshiped across the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. A child. And I'm flunking math."
Xander: "Okay, a bit more then we asked for but none-the-less. Faith. There is an increasing focus on celebrities in society, how do you feel about that?
Faith: "What can I say? I'm the world's best actor."
Xander: ?Well that was a rather random answer. Moving onto Willow. Willow, there is an increase in teenage pregnancies and teenagers having sex what do you think of this??
Willow: ?Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.?
Xander: "Well as weird and wonderful as the talent contest was it's okay. I want to thank the ladies and now its your turn to vote. Who will be the winner?"
