Tara and Willow

fly on the wall said:
If I were Tara, I would have done the exact same thing.

It went beyond a simple addiction. Willow was using magic ON TARA, more than once. For her own safety, I think it was right of Tara to leave.
She didn't jump the gun...Willow violated her mind, she gave her a second chance, and she violated her mind again. So Tara left. Personally, I wouldn't even have given her a second chance...
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I agree. As for giving Willow a second chance, I would have done so . . . but only after a period of time.
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I don't understand who people think it was just about the addiction.
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I believe it was an addiction. It was an addiction that had been around for quite a few years. Probably since late Season 2 or early Season 3. And like all addictions, it had its origins in Willow's own insecurities and lack of self worth. She used magic to hide from her true self and her problems, like a drug addict or an alcoholic.
 
No doubt it was an addiction, but Tara leaving Willow was not just about that. Willow was not just an addict, but a particularly violent abusive spouse.
 
I agree with you purplepoof. Tara leaving could have made everything worse, since heartbroken people often seek comfort in bad things. But evidently, Tara staying wasn't working out either.

Something had to change and I think Tara was hoping that a little perspective would help Willow see the error of her ways. I think Tara left because of love and partly because of fear. Not knowing what the person you love is ready to do you if you don't stay... All sorts of worse case senarios including mind-rape and brainwashing scenarios must have filled Tara's head.

But I think Tara would have stayed, even if she feared mind-control, if she thought that would have helped Willow.
 
But I think Tara would have stayed, even if she feared mind-control, if she thought that would have helped Willow.
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I don't think that would have been the wise thing to do . . . especially since Willow had used magic to exert her will upon Tara without the latter's consent. That was tantamount to psychic rape. I think Willow had went too far. I can see why Tara had left.
 
I pretty much agree with the couple posts above me, because what Willow did was pretty damn bad, and tough love is needed.. as besides, how cute was it when they got back together? So it was nice how the power between them reached an equilibrium and made them getting back together go smoothly (and even if she didn't die, I think it would've stayed on track) So theoretically, she was being abused, she gave Willow an ultimatium, and stuck too it, and this made willow face the music and it made their relationship more equal and even.
 
I think she was right. I mean it's not just a hard pressure for Willow but also for her. She saw her girlfriend falling deeper and deeper in this magical world and she couldn't do anything to help her, because Willow wouldn't have stopped anyway. For example it's quite hard to help a drug addict and for people with now experiences it's almost impossible to help. And you can't send Willow to rehab because there surly won't be one for magical addict
 
I can relate to Tara in a way, I want some of my family to stop drinking and smoking. My mother for instance would not stop smoking even though was making her ill and making me not like being around her. Willow was like an addict , hooked on magic juice. I felt sorry for her , the problem I feel should have been delt in a better way that Tara walking away. Sometimes thats not the right approach. Yet Tara really didn't want someone who loves her and she loves them using a power over her because of their selfish needs.

My Uncle drank for many years it caused a lot of heartache in our family but we looked after him which we felt at the time was the correct way of doing it. He stole he , drink the best part of his life away. Until 10 years ago he stopped but am guessing he forgot the backlash you get for drinking 40 of your years away does to your body. He died last year from Liver cancer.

Willow didn't think of the outcome of her spells, they where only cast to satisfy what she needed. Tara was slighted and felt betrayed, she had done it twice so , Tara leaving was best for her and Willow in the long term.
 
I just rewatched Tabula Rasa and I have to say that I don't see why Tara should saty at all. Okay, that's not true. She has the same reason to stay as all abused girlfriends/boyfriends do; To help the abuser.

But look at it from Tara's POV. She had for months told Willow of about magic and finally when Willow crossed the line she left. I mean, Tara told Willow how violated she felt and Willow did it again. Sure, I think it was an act of desperation. Maybe if Willow didn't think that Tara would leave, she would have left it at that and atleast tried to go without magic. Unless her wish to make Bufy forget as well had made her take away Tara'a memory to "protect" Buffy, so that Tara wouldn't stop her from helping Buffy.

I don't see how Tara could stay after such a betrayl. Willow's choices hurt her and she was in no way obligated to stay and suffer, just so that Willow won't hurt or so that she will get better.

I bet that when Tara was living with her abusing controlling father, she tried to help him too, but discovered that that didn't help. Maybe she thought that after months of trying to persuade Willow to think about the consuquences, she didn't have any strength in her to stay. She had to leave and hope that Willow would get better on her own (or because of the loss of Tara).

I mean, she left crying. She hated leaving.
 
palabravampiress
palabravampiress
Good point about her dad. I hadn't thought of that before.
Why do you guys think Tara decided to go back to Willow when she did? I mean, I know it had a lot to do with plot, but what else do you think motivated Tara? Was she convinced that Willow was back in control, or do you think she just missed Willow so much that she was having a moment of weakness/denial?
 
Re:

PurplePoof said:
Do you think Tara was in the right to break up with Willow when she did? Willow obviously didn't live up to the terms of their "agreement" regarding magic and thus I understand Tara's decision, but a part of me thinks it a tad insensitive and counter-productive to leave someone with an addiction problem who needs all the help they can get. Perhaps Willow NEEDED that abandonment to face reality and whip herself back into shape (although it wasn't until she injured Dawn that she really got that)...but I still feel Tara may have jumped the gun a little bit. As really, being dumped by someone you love can really just make an addiction worse...which it did, in this case, as Tara was the only thing really keeping her from going completely over the edge.

What are your thoughts?
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I think you've got some valid points, and I agree that Tara was the only thing keeping Willow from hitting rock bottom. But I think that rock bottom was what she really needed to bring her back. A person can only take so much when it comes to watching your lover self-destruct. She had tried reasoning with her, she gave her the ultimatum...I see why she left. Yeah, in some ways it may seem like the gutless way out...But in others it looks like tough love. Tara may have been holding her above water, but she wasn't exactly bringing her to shore either.
 
Was she convinced that Willow was back in control, or do you think she just missed Willow so much that she was having a moment of weakness/denial?
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A little of both, I think. She saw that Willow had changed, and she'd waited long enough to be sure that Willow wasn't going to pick up magic again after a week. But her speech to Willow shows that she was desperate to be with her again, because everything she said before "Can we just skip it?" was completely true. Building a relationship after such abuse would take a lot of work, but I think asking Willow to kiss her showed that Tara didn't care at that moment.
 
^ Yeah, I kind of agree. I think Tara loved Willow too much to stay away for too long. I love the "Can you just be kissing me now?" line, too. It kinda makes me wanna well up every time I see it.
 
As much as I love Willow, I think Tara made the right decision in breaking up with her when she did. Willow was abusing the magic and was using it on the one she loved. Tara had been through so much already and this was just too much for her to take.
 
To answer the topic question, I think Tara had every right to break up with Willow when she did, if not after the first time Willow used magic on her. She did end up helping Will, i think, but that is not, and should not be the issue. Tara was the one who was wronged and it is up to Tara to make the decision for herself.

Tara breaking up with Willow was probably the biggest moment in her development - instead of always being in Willow's shadow, she had the power in the relationship and she was confident enough live life without Willow. In the next few episodes there is the first scene where Tara is shown without Willow, as the focus, proving that she has become her own girl. IIRC that scene is the one with Tara and Dawn ('good god thats a lot of shake').
 
This makes me wonder. If any of you have seen what I wrote in the 'Taras mum comment-The body' thread about Tara's mum's possible demise, then this is something I've always considered an option.

MAYBE Tara's mum's demise was all through Magic? or Magic overdose?. Because I don't see Tara as the kind of person, unless for leverage or a goal to give for them to achieve. Too leave someone in Willow's then state of Magical overdrive.
 
I adore the Tara and Willow relationship and was totally gutted when Tara left her, but i do think that Tara was right to do it. Previously there had been arguments with Willow and Tara regarding willow's excessive use of Magic and using it for selfish reasons. The argument progressed to Willow fixing things to her liking...including their relationship. So when they made the agreement for Willow not to use Magic for a month and Willow broke that by using the exact same spell that she knew upset Tara....and why wouldn't it!!!

I agree that mostly the reason behind willow and Tara getting back together was because Tara missed her too much...although i think she realised that willow was trying really hard to stop using magics cold turkey style... i was soooo happy when it happened though 😀😀😀
 
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