The Art of Conversation

nightshade

nightshade

Your grandfather is a cat
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England
Black Thorn
Talking with a friend about this the other day, what do you talk about with people that you see very frequently, when you know neither of you has done anything differently in the time between seeing them before.

Other than in typical British fashion the weather, or the pot holes!
 
nightshade said:
Well that's no help to me, I don't have any children!
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Nor do I, so I end up talking about other people's children!

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So very true. Just because I adore babies doesn't mean I want to end up with my very own teenager.
 
ILLYRIAN
ILLYRIAN
Wearing clothes like that it is not surprising.
I see my neighbour a lot. He told me about a cancer curing bush. I looked it up online and later told him what I had read and that I think it would grow here. Similar pattern, we talk about horses and plants. He will count the buds on his fruit trees, while I get excited over the beautiful colour of the peach flowers. There is always something new happening in one of our gardens, the moon, the prettiness of the bushland. He will get onto politics but I just smile and nod.

With the old lady neighbours, its a LOT of gossip. Like whos currently dying, moving, travelling, new cars or furniture. They gossip about whos in trouble with the cops, whos struggling with money, who got too pissed at the pub and had a cry, whos taking which meds for what ailments, car crashes on the highway and which wildflowers are out in the bush. Pets are often the topic of conversation as well, as they're always getting up to mischief or injury.

Weather and natural disasters are definitely a topic of convo, much like the "how are you/how was your day/howsit goin" Its just a starter to get on to other topics.
 
thetopher said:
Maybe try deciding on a book to read and talk about together?

Other than that; I've found that history or pop culture are fertile ground for chats.
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For me, that wouldn't work, as my dad doesn't read books. I do that with friends though, like we've all just read the new Richard Osman book.
 
thetopher
thetopher
Richard Osman karma. :)
Do you ever find some people are just hard to have a conversation with?

My brother and I have very little in common, and we're both people that are happy to just let other people do the talking, so an actual conversation between us doesn't really flow easily.
 
You could always try dumb hypothetical questions/games such as Would You Rather or 'If you could spend the evening having dinner with 5 famous people (living or dead) then who would they be and why?'
 
My best friend loves to laugh and joke around, and that is pretty much what we do.

I tend to be that way with a cousin as well (though not in the same exact way). I can also ask him about his guitar or what songs he's been into lately.

With a gamer I know I can always ask about games. I know a lot of game lore to games I never played. Doesn't bother or bore me. Sometimes I get inspired to share of the games I've played (mostly tabletop) which doesn't seem to bore (especially if it's about strategy that could be adapted to another game).

An odd dream is usually acceptable, and likely to hear one in exchange.
 
My go to is to try to find a common media obsession, which is either something supernatural, true crime, or reality (both competition and guilty pleasure like Housewives). Usually one of those three makes conversation begin and then flow to other stuff!
 
NotASlayer
NotASlayer
I have no guilty pleasures. Only pleasures!
nightshade said:
Talking with a friend about this the other day, what do you talk about with people that you see very frequently, when you know neither of you has done anything differently in the time between seeing them before.
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I see my best friend almost every weekend, and email on weekdays. We talk about books or TV shows, the news, or the ever-popular complaining about work.

Later, you indicated it was your dad that you were trying to come up with topics of conversation. I talked to my dad every day before he died, and we talked a lot about the news. It wasn't always that interesting, but I reminded myself that having the conversation was what was important, not the specifics. I'd also ask what he ate that day and what TV shows he would watch that night. Banal things, but I miss those phone calls so much now.
 
Stake fodder said:
Later, you indicated it was your dad that you were trying to come up with topics of conversation. I talked to my dad every day before he died, and we talked a lot about the news. It wasn't always that interesting, but I reminded myself that having the conversation was what was important, not the specifics. I'd also ask what he ate that day and what TV shows he would watch that night. Banal things, but I miss those phone calls so much now.
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Yeah, it's just that, talking everyday with him. Neither of us really watch tv or the news, but we do try to keep up with local news. What's closing or where new houses are being built.

I think friends are different, as there's a reason you're friends, you've got something in common. You can always fall back on that original thing if you're struggling with something to talk about. Family though, you don't necessarily have anything in common with.
 
nightshade said:
Do you ever find some people are just hard to have a conversation with?

My brother and I have very little in common, and we're both people that are happy to just let other people do the talking, so an actual conversation between us doesn't really flow easily.
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Comfortable silence is fine, especially if you are eating or walking or something like that.

Most of the people that I see daily are 40 years older than me, so when they obviously want a chat but have nothing to say, thats when I just make observations about things around us. That will usually spur the conversation on. Like, crochet curtains, or the bird I saw in the garden one day, they might then chime in about what bird they saw or what their current craft project is. If I am talking to people in the congregation, I'll talk about creation, and they will always have something to add.

None of them use social media or watch the same shows as me so pop culture and current trends are of no interest to them. Some do like to talk about things before my time, which is of interest to me, so thats easy if I can get them talking about that. It is sometimes hard to hold my tongue when it comes to chequebooks, many are sure they would be the only way to stop online bank scams lol.
 
nightshade said:
Yeah, it's just that, talking everyday with him. Neither of us really watch tv or the news, but we do try to keep up with local news. What's closing or where new houses are being built.

I think friends are different, as there's a reason you're friends, you've got something in common. You can always fall back on that original thing if you're struggling with something to talk about. Family though, you don't necessarily have anything in common with.
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My dad wasn't one to talk about his past much, but when he did, he always seemed to enjoy telling his stories. I wish so much I had asked him about his earlier life more now. So that's my recommendation to you.
 
I'm terrific at small talk. I'm an extrovert, so conversing with people comes easy to me. Put me with someone and I can always find something to talk about. I agree about the weather. Always a good fall back, especially if you live in an area like myself where the weather is unpredictable and challenging.

Other engaging topics of discussion are the news, what book or movie you recently read or saw, and pets.

I can talk endlessly about my pets. For real.

ALSO, I tend to ask people if they want to hear their daily horoscope. Always stimulates discussion.
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Stake fodder said:
. I talked to my dad every day before he died, and we talked a lot about the news. It wasn't always that interesting, but I reminded myself that having the conversation was what was important, not the specifics. I'd also ask what he ate that day and what TV shows he would watch that night. Banal things, but I miss those phone calls so much now.
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I can definitely relate to this. I talk to my elderly mother daily. She does the same thing everyday so sometimes we struggle with what to talk about. We usually discuss the news and her dog. Sometimes she gossips about the other old ladies who live in her building.
 
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