The Capture and Rescue of David Boreanaz

Mike... I just got yelled at for laughing my ass off as loud as possible at 12:30am by my mother, but that's besides the point. I LOVE IT! Please, keep going! It's HILARIOUS!
 
You're reading this at 12:30 am? You do know we have school in like 7 hours...well...actually one now, but bleh. She shouldn't be up at that hour anyway. The Mad Mad House reunion special is on and she needs her rest before she goes.
 
School in one hour?luck you..I'm already at school..and shouldn't be doing this now shhhhh!lol😛.I only slept 3 hours...*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Well,pretty OT,sorry😛

Post more Mike!!!!
 
Mike...this is the best story...we need to act this out it will be so funny.lol...u know stephanie will come back.
 
Sorry for the long wait. School weeks are long and stressful and soak up all my fan fic writing time. I'll try to do a little bit more this week.


Mike was kneeling on the floor, watching the pieces of cloth slowly levitate to the ground. He sighed a sigh of relief, finally being able to breathe after his deadly battle. He looked over towards his friends, but they weren't paying any attention. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake were still having a show on the other side of the room. He shook his head and tried to get up, but he was to tired to rise to his feet.

Hannah: "Need a hand?"

Mike looked up from the floor to see his friend staring down at him, her arm extended. He reached up, grasping her hand, and was able to stand on his own to feet. He quickly pulled her into a hug.

Mike: "You're awake?"

Hannah: "Actually I'm just a figment of your imagination."

Mike: "Oh...damn..."

Hannah: "Actually I'm really awake." [she looked around] "I guess I missed a lot while I was asleep?"

Mike: "Just me getting my ass kicked."

Hannah: "Oh that happens all the time. I didn't miss much."

Mike: "No, I guess you didn't."

Tacticle Member: [pushes past them and walks to Emma] "Ms. Caulfield, we found something in the reckage near David's mansion. I think it's worth your time to come see what it is."

Emma: "Certainly." [she looked at David] "David, give Jaden to Ryan, she's great with children. You and Maguie come with me." [she yelled at Hannah and Mike] "You two come with me as well."

Emma walked towards the tacticle working center, followed by Mike, Hannah, David, Magui and another Potential Agent. They walked into the main room where metal table lay flat in the room. There were all sorts of debris covering the table, but nothing out of the ordinary as far they could tell. A tacticle member walked out from a back room and handed David a bag.

David: "What's in the bag?"

Tacticle Member: "Stuff we were able to recover from your house after it was blown to pieces. We found your wallet, all important papers, family photos...and oddly your leather pants and your leathy duster survived as well."

David: "Yes! My favorite." [David changed in front of them, making Mike and the male Potential Agent look away, but Magui kept her eyes locked on him, drooling slightly] "Sorry about that."

Emma: "Ok, strip show over. What do you have to show us?"

Tacticle Member: [holding up a green bean] "This!"

Mike: "Starch?"

Tacticle Member: "No! Don't you know what this is?"

Hannah: [taking the green bean and eating it] "Dinner?"

Tacticle Member: "No! It was a green bean?"

Magui: [starts crying in terror] "NOT A GREEN BEAN!"

Mike: "I'm missing something here."

David: "As am I."

Tacticle Member: "This isn't a normal green bean."

Potential Agent: "Then what is it?"

Hannah: "Hey, who are you?"

Potential Agent: "I'm Darren."

Everyone: "Hi Darren."

Emma: "Anyway, continue please."

Tacticle Member: "Thank you. As I was saying, this isn't a normal green bean. This is an item that's used by The Jolly Green Giant to work with people's souls."

Mike: "I had to research him a while back." [thinks] "A giant green giant made out of vegetables...Can keep a soul in a body, can switch souls, save souls, kill souls, play soul bowling. He lives in another dimension that's guarded by an angry old woman with a hook...He likes cheese..."

Magui: "I don't get it. What does this mean?"

Tacticle Member: "Well, this might explain how Snuggles survived the blast and it gives us some new information on Stephanie's death."

David: "How did Snuggles survive?"

Tacticle Member: "With this green bean, The Jolly Green Giant was able to keep Snuggles' soul in his body, thus keeping him from dying, kinda like a zombie. That was how he survived."

Hannah: "What does it have to do with Stephanie?"

Tacticle Member: "It's obvious he can use these pea pods to do evil, so my guess is that he has Stephanie's soul with him in his realm."

Emma: "Is there anyway for us to know for sure."

Tacticle Member: "Well, yeah. It says right here." [points] "I used this pea pod to take Stephanie's soul to my realm."

Magui: "Why didn't you just tell us that?"

Tacticle Member: "I was just trying to build up expense."

Mike: "Ok, then, we're going to his reality to get her soul back. We can't bring her back because her body was blown to bits, but atleast we can let her soul rest."

Tacticle Member: "It's not gunna be that easy."

Hannah: "Why not?"

Tacticle Member: "CareBears run wild through that plane. You need to find a leprachaun so that he can get you in and out properly."

Mike: "Where can we find a leprachaun?"

Marissa: [sticking her head in] "I know where."

* * * * *

The Middle School hallways were quiet and clean. It was after hours and all the schools and most of the teachers had gone home to live out the rest of their day. Mike, Hannah, Darren, David, Magui and Marisa walked in the school through the front door. They passed the main office and made a right down the first hallway. Each of them had a weapon because Middle Schoolers were dangerous. They had devowered a family of bunnies early that year, who knows what they could to humans.

Mike: "So, where is this leprachaun exactly?"

Marissa: "He's in room 44." [she spotted a male janitor working down the end of the hallway and grinned deviously] "You guys are on your own. I have to make money right now."

Marissa departed from the group, leaving the others to walk the rest of the way down the hall until they arrived at room 44. Mike went in first, pushing the door open. He walked inside, followed by the others.

Mike: "Everyone stay quiet. No one move until I tell you to. We have to take the leprachaun by surprise before he can teleport away. Everyone stay quiet."

Mike bumped into a shelf and a dead stuffed fox fell into his arms. He screamed, taking the fox in his hand, and threw it into the glass window. It crashed through the window and hit Marissa and the janitor in the head, knocking them both out. Someone turned on the light switch! Everyone turned and looked at the light switch, but no one was there. They all dropped their gaze to see a tiney man standing in the door. He was barely two feet tall. He had short brown hair and a small beer belly.

Mike: "Are...Are you Mr. Bennett?"

Mr. Bennett: "Of course I am. You were in my geography class in 7th grade and my history class in 8th grade. Don't you remember me?"

Mike: "Imposter!"

Mr. Bennett: "I'm not! This is just my true form! I take it that you know I'm a leprachaun?"

Hannah: "Well, duh."

Mike: "We need your help, Bennett."

Mr. Bennett: "With what?"

Mike: "Stephanie's soul is trapped in the Jolly Green Giants dimension and we have to find a way to get it back. Our tacticle team informed us that we need a leprachaun to guide us through that plane."

Mr. Bennett: "I understand. I just have one question for you..."

Magui: "What would that be?"

Mr. Bennett: "Do you think you can beat...Mrs. Savage?"

David: "Who's Mrs. Savage?"

Mr. Bennett: "She's an angry elderly black woman who guards the enterance to his realm. She carries a hook and if by luck you manage to not by into her lies and buy an OBSERVER, she'll tare your neck out with the hook. She's a guidance councelor too, so odds are she'll use your issues against you."

Darren: "I don't know guys, she seems...tough."

Mike: [putting his hand on Darren's shoulder] "Don't worry buddy, we can take on anything. Well, actually, we used to say that when Stephanie was around. Can we really take on anything with only two Agents?"

Hannah: "Only one way to find out, right?"

Mike, Hannah, Darren, David, Magui and Mr. Bennett walked to the Guidance Center and walked inside. Mr. Bennett pointed to a locked door with black paint seperating it from the white paint. Mike turned and faced the group.

Mike: "Hannah and I are going inside. David, Magui and Darren, you three stay out here and make sure nothing comes in behind us. If this turns out to be a trap, you run your asses out of here and back to HQ. Got it?"

David/Magui/Darren: "Got it."

Mr. Bennett: "Where do I go?"

Mike: "You have to come inside with us."

Mike kicked open the door and went inside. He was shocked to see that everything was black. The walls, the floor, the ceiling, the books, the paper, the furniture, the lamp, everything. Hannah and Mr. Bennett followed him inside, shocked as well. Suddenly the door flew shut and Mrs. Savage appeared in the room.

Mrs. Savage: "Hello children. Would you like to buy the OBSERVER for 50 cents?"

Mike: "No thank you..."

Mrs. Savage: "I'm sorry, little white boy! Are you talking to me?!"

Mike: "Who else would I be talking too?"

Mrs. Savage: "Why don't you wanna buy an OBSERVER? Is it because I'm black and I'm selling it?! WOULD YOU BUY IT IF, GOD FORBID, A WHITE WOMAN SOLD IT?!"

Mike: "What the Hell?! I never said that! I! AM! NOT! Racist!"

Mrs. Savage: "LIAR!"

Mrs. Savage took her hook out of know where and swung it at him. He ducked and caught the hook before she could pull it back to her. He started struggling over the weapon with her, not fighting back.

Hannah: "Why aren't you fighting back?"

Mike: "I can't hit a female! Plus she's old and that's just wrong!"

Hannah: "Fine, I'll do it."

Hannah kicked Mrs. Savage in the stomach and punched her in the face. Mrs. Savage pushed Mike back and swung at Hannah with the hook. Hannah backflipped avoiding the hook and kicked Mrs. Savage in the jaw.

Mrs. Savage: "BUY THE DAMN OBSERVER! IT'S ONLY 50 CENTS!"

Hannah: "SHUT UP! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE ****ING OBSERVER IS!"

She grabbed a lamp and tossed it at Mrs. Savage. She swung her hook and broke the lamp into pieces. She swung again, to which Hannah moved out of the way. Hannah round house kicked her in the face before punching her in the gut. She took her tazer out of her bra and shocked Mrs. Savage with it until her head exploded.

Hannah: "...Ok, does anyone know what the Observer is?"

Mr. Bennett: "It's the school news paper."

Mike: "Why would she want to sell it to us?" [pulling a way a curtain revealing the portal to the Jolly Green Giants reality] "We don't even go here."

Mr. Bennett: "Not anymore you don't."

Mike, Hannah and Mr. Bennett stepped into the portal and disappeared. When they reappeared, they were in anothere reality. Everything was made out of green vegetables. The trees were long pieces of brocillie, the grass was...well...grass, but everything in the normal world that wasn't made from vegetables was made from vegetables.

Mr. Bennett: "Keep your eyes pealed you guys. If the CareBears see us, who knows what could happen."
 
''...and oddly your leather pants and your leathy duster survived as well."
''David changed in front of them''


Oh My God!!!!.......I'm drooling sooooo hard!lol😛
I love this story!!!.Post more Mike!!!!:😀😀😀😀😀........NOW😛!
 
Character Updated:
Name as self
Kindred as herself
xtrustno1x as herself
ana8 as herself
elmo as herself
OLD MASTER 2.0 as himself
Mr. Pointy as himself
Faith as herself
Cordelia as herself
Buffy Summers as herself
Chastity as herself
Shell as herself
Rayne as herself
killerdwarf as himself
Alyson as herself
Anya_Harris as herself
mikeisannoying as herself

updated coming later today...
 
I don't think I'm mean enough to kill any of the BB members off, so no worries.
 
Rayne is gonna be in the story!,cool😀...Now I won't be the only one who wants David to do kinky stuff with James lol😛...btw,bring him back
 
They'd been walking for hours and they hadn't found the slightest clue to where the Jolly Green Giant could be hiding. Everything was just so great! He could be blending into the surroundings, following them, and they wouldn't even know it. Mr. Bennett kept jumping and dancing in front of them, shaking his butt. Mike tried to kick him a few times, but Hannah had stop him. He was the only guide they had to take them through this realm. If he left, they'd be stranded.

Hannah: "How long are we supposed to guard David Boreanaz for anyway?"

Mike: "Just until we find whoever wants him dead and stop them."

Hannah: "I thought Snuggles was the one who wanted him dead."

Mike: "Snuggles was just an agent of this big bad, as were the others."

Hannah: "What about his kid?"

Mike: "Jaden?"

Hannah: "Yeah."

Mike: "What about him?"

Hannah: "Well, don't you think it might be a little dramatic for him to watch all this happening?"

Mike: "That's why Ryan is taking care of him away from all the fighting and destruction."

Hannah: "Oh great."

Mike: "What? Ryan's good with kids."

Hannah: "Yeah, but she's like...punk rock girl. David might get him back with a mowhawk."

Mr. Bennett: "Hold up, much taller mortals." [squints his eyes] "I see something. Looks like an attacking rainbow..."

Mike: "What...? Rainbows don't attack."

Hannah: "What is it then?"

Mr. Bennett: "Carebears...."



Darren, David and Magui were still anxiously awaiting the return of their friends. They'd entered Mrs. Savage's room and made themselves feel at home, ignoring the very dead body on the floor. David was seated on the cough, his right arm stretched over the top. Magui was sitting in a chair indian style. Darren was spinning in a wheely chair, trying to keep himself amused.

Magui: "What's taking them so long?"

Darren: "Maybe they ran into some trouble."

David: "Let's try to keep our outlook positive. Maybe they found Stephanie and they're having a good time."

Magui: "Yeah, maybe they're having a tea party right now!"

Darren: "Great. Now you've gone and done it. You talked about drinks and now I'm hungry." [stands up] "I wonder if they have any cheese in this place..."

David: "Where are you going?"

Darren: "To look for some food."

David: "I don't think you should go alone."

Magui: "He's right. We should all stick together."

David: "Maybe we shouldn't even leave then. No affence, but Mike told us to wait here and what if one of the Old Navy People show up? I don't think two Potential Agents will be able to protect me if two Agents got their asses kicked."

Magui: "Come on, David."

Magui locked arms with David and pulled him off the couch. They walked out of the room, following close behind Darren.

Magui: "There's no danger here."

Unseen to them, an Old Navy Person dropped down from the ceiling tiles. He growled to himself, clenching his fists together tightly. He stalked after the three humans, following in the shadows.
 
PLEASE post more, Mike! I NEED to know what happens with the Carebears. (Carebears... lmao.) And what happened to the winner of Slut Idol? Is she still like... knocked out or something?
 
I'll post another chapter of the story tonight, and then there's only one chapter left. ::tear::
 
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