The Capture and Rescue of David Boreanaz

[Hero]

The local Walmart is motionless and quiet as the sun begins to set in the New Jersey area. All signs of life are gone except for inside the store. A meeting is happening between two factions. Six or seven Old Navy people line their side of the store as the Mysterious Woman from before steps out to a center table. A dozen or more hooded figures stand on the opposite side, their leader stepping out and sitting down as well. We will now find out who the Mysterious Woman is and what she wants with David Boreanaz.

Hooded Leader: "Why do you call us here, Martha?"

Martha Stewart: "You've heard the underground talking, haven't you? I have declared war against the Agents and so far I'm winning, however; they are putting up a good fight. For the final battle I need a little more backbone."

Hooded Leader: "And what makes you think that we can provide you with this extra backbone?"

A small, shorter hooded figure walked out from the others and stood behind his leader. He leaned his head down towards her ear, whispering something to her.

Hooded Leader: "It seems that our meeting place is being shared with a shopper. She is becoming annoyed and is requesting service. She's in isle eight."

Martha Stewart: "First, my father made me work day and night for my whole young life. Second, I'm caught sharing stock secrets and I went to jail. Now, I can't even have a meeting without being interrupted! YOU!" [points to an Old Navy Person] "Go take care of customer, if you know what I mean."

The Old Navy Person nodded, clenching his fists together. He turned swiftly and stalked off towards the unsuspecting customer.

Hooded Leader: "You two go with him." [she pointed to the shorter figure and another taller girl in the group] "Now!"

The two hooded figures quickly left the room the same way the Old Navy Person did. Once out of site, the two figures threw off their robes, revealing their identities! Ann (ana8) and Gary (Killerdwarf) from Buffy-Boards! They put some pep in their steps and ran towards the Old Navy Person's direction. When they got there, the Old Navy Person had the customer by the throat.

Gary: "Hey!"

The Old Navy Person dropped the customer and dove at the two fighters. Gary and Ann both ducked out of the way and rolled to the side, hiding behind some boxes.

Gary: "Question. If one of these things kicked Mike's ass, than how are we supposed to fight him?"

Ann: "I don't know. I don't really care either."

Gary: "Well, we have to kill this guy somehow. I mean, if he gets free, he could very well be the monster that kills David."

Ann: "David? David who?"

Gary: "David Boreanaz."

Ann: "They're threatening him?"

Gary: "Yes."

Ann: "Leave it to me..."

Ann stood up, giving away her hiding place to the Old Navy Person. He growled loudly, almost drooling on the floor and charged at her. She jumped in the air, Matrix Style, and kicked the Old Navy Person in the face. It stammered back and she ***** slapped him, her nails digging into his cheek, blood splattering on the floor. Gary stood back and watched. He noticed the customer lying on the floor and he crawled over to her.

Gary: "Ma'am, are you ok?"

Customer: "Yes. I think so."

Gary: "Come on, I'll get you out of here."

Gary and the customer made a break for the door as Ann seriously beat the Old Navy Person. When he returned to the battle scene, Ann was punching in the Old Navy Person's face. It was clearly dead, but she just kept punching. Gary pulled her off him and threw her her robe.

Ann: "NO ONE WILL HURT DAVID! EVER!"

Gary: "Ok, that's all fine and dandy, but we really have to get back to the meeting before Martha Stewart gets suspicious." [he pulled on his robe] "Put yours on."

Ann put her robe back on. They put the hoods on over their faces and walked back to the meeting which was still taking place. Martha Stewart and their leader kept talking, but as the conversation continued, Martha's eyes drifted towards Ann's hands, which were covered in blood. She knew they had killed one of her minions. If they wanted to play a chess game, she could play one too.

* * * * *

Mike, Hannah and Mr. Bennett were stuck on top of a huge car shaped rock. They were looking down at the Carebears trying to get at them. They were to high up, luckily, so the Carebears couldn't reach them. But, they couldn't stay up on the rock until the Carebears became hungry and left. They had things to do and people to save.

Hannah: "So, what do we do?"

Mike: "Do you have a weapon of some sort?"

Hannah: "No, why?"

Mike: "I thought we could just keep firing until they got scared and left or until they were all dead."

Hannah: "You don't think we can beat them at hand-to-hand combat?"

Mike: "Nah, there's to many of them. They're like hungry wolves. We'd be goners in a second."

Hannah: "I don't know."

Mr. Bennett: [turned away from them] "I have an idea...."

Mike: "What is it?"

Mr. Bennett: "You could die!"

Mike looked at Hannah, and they both looked at Mr. Bennett suspiciously. He turned to them, fully changed. Now he was the Lucky Charms mascot! The devilish leprechaun from the popular cereal commercials had double crossed them!

Hannah: "I don't get it. I thought you were on side. How else would the tactical member known about you?"

Mr. Bennett: "All lies, my friends, all lies. Some people don't do any investigation and just take things as truth. You should really learn not to do that anymore, as should the tactical member." [he laughed evilly] "I'm gunna have to kill you now."

Mike: [laughing] "Sorry, but, I'm can you say that again?"

Hannah: "Why do you want him to repeat his death threat?"

Mike: "Because it's so cute." [he walked to Mr. Bennett and put his hands on his head] "Aw! Look! The cute little leprechaun is trying to be all mean. Let's give him a cookie and take him home with us! Please, Hannah, can we? Can we? Please?!"

Mr. Bennett: "Enough with the chitchat! Time to die!"

Mr. Bennett jumped in the air, levitating. He leaned forward and flew at Hannah and Mike. They easily stepped out of the way and Mr. Bennett fell into the herd of attacking Carebears. He was holding onto the rock for dear life, reaching up to Mike. Mike felt bad and was going to help him up, but Hannah stopped him.

Mike: "What?"

Hannah: "We don't help the evil people, remember."

Mr. Bennett went under and the Carebears pounced on him in a second. He screamed in agony as the Carebears ripped him to pieces, blood going all over the rock. Mike looked at Hannah and sighed.

Mike: "Ok, so, now what do we do?"

Hannah: "Uh..."

Marissa: "I can help you."

Marissa jumped up onto the rock, sweating slightly. She was holding money in her hand, which she preceded to count. 70 dollars. She folded the money and put it down her shirt. Mike noticed she had no bra on and her hair was messed up.

Mike: [to himself] "I'm not gunna ask..."

Hannah: "Marissa, how did you get here?"

Marissa: "I followed you."

Hannah: "How did you get here without being a meal for the Carebears?"

Marissa: "Well, the Carebears in this reality are male Carebears. So, you know, I just did what the winner of "Slut Idol" does best. I slept with them all."

Hannah: "And they didn't eat you?"

Marissa: "Nope. They were to busy having their way with me to attack. I made a lot of money too, so I just paid them to not attack me."

Mike: "Wish we thought of that." [clears his throat] "Marissa, do you think you can do us a favor?"

Marissa: "Sure."

Mike: "Can you maybe...'entertain' these Carebears for us while we make a run for it?"

Marissa: "Sure." [to the Carebears] "COME AND GET IT, BOYS!" [she jumped into the pit of attacking Carebears] "WEE!!"

Mike: "Run!"

Mike and Hannah hopped over the rock, just dodging the Carebears. Marissa was working her magic on them, so they didn't follow. Mike and Hannah ran, their heads turned back to Marissa when they bumped into something. They both stumbled back and fell on their butts. When they looked up, a very tall, very green giant was looking down at them. The Jolly Green Giant...and he was holding Stephanie's soul, which was clearly marked 'Stephanie's Soul'.

Mike: "...The Jolly Green Giant...just the man I was looking for."

Hannah: "Can we please have our friends soul back?"

The Jolly Green Giant: "Let me think...No. I like Stephanie's soul. She's quite the fire cracker." [holding the soul in his hand] "How about you see her?"

Stephanie's soul shined brightly, causing Mike and Hannah to cover their eyes to shield them from the blinding light. When they took their hands down, Stephanie's ghost was standing in front of them.

Stephanie: "Hey, guys."

Mike: "Steph, thank God. We have to get you out of here!"

Stephanie: "Yeah, I really wanna leave. It's really cramped in that cool glowy thing." [she sighed] "This guy is a real ass, though." [she sighed again] "Plus, he works for the big bad so that also takes away some brownie points."

Hannah: "Can you please let her come back with us?"

Jolly Green Giant: "Do you have her body?"

Hannah: "Well, yes, back at the lab I think."

Jolly Green Giant: "Is it in good condition?"

Hannah: "What do you mean?"

Jolly Green Giant: "If I was to give you her soul back, would she die once she reentered her body? Is her body livable?"

Mike: "Actually all her limbs are blown off..."

Stephanie: "Ew. Damn Snuggles! I don't want to be a stump."

Jolly Green Giant: "I'm sorry, I'm under strict orders to not give you this soul, regardless. Please, just, go home and stop wasting my time."

The Jolly Green Giant squeezed the glowing orb in his hand. Soon it cracked into pieces and he dropped it to the ground. Stephanie disappeared as the orb stopped glowing and faded away as well. Stephanie was gone forever. The Jolly Green Giant turned on his heels and tried to move, but Mike grabbed his arm.

Jolly Green Giant: "What's going on here?!"

Hannah: "Pay back."

Hannah pulled the tazer out of her bra and slammed it into the Jolly Green Giants neck. She increased the amount of electricity until it was on the highest voltage possible. The Jolly Green Giant began to shake and a few moments later, he exploded, covering everyone in peas.

Mike: "Let's go...there's nothing else we can do here."

Mike and Hannah slowly turned and walked back the way they came, hanging their heads in sadness. Marissa joined them, breathing heavily. They took one look back at where Stephanie had just been standing, and started for home.

* * * * *

Darren, Magui and David walked down the halls of the Middle School until they saw the sign pointing to the cafeteria. Darren smiled to himself and pushed the door open. He looked around and spotted the food pantry at the back of the room. Magui and David sat at a table and waited for Darren to return with some food. Darren entered the food pantry and looked through it. It was full of candy and potato chips, but no cheese. The cheese would obviously be in the refrigerator somewhere in the kitchen. Darren was looking for it when he heard a noise coming from the cafeteria.

Magui: "SON OF A *****!"

Darren ran out of the kitchen and entered the cafeteria. Magui was fighting the Old Navy Person, and failing. She threw a punch at his face, but he caught her hand and tossed her all the way across the room. Darren ran and jumped at the Old Navy Person. He caught Darren and tossed him across the room as well...and than started closing in on David.

 

[ana8]

Great..love it..especially Ann's character-good idea with using nails as a weapon.Please continue quickly

 

[MentPatient]

THIS STORY IS SO DAMN FUNNY!

Why does Hannah like keeping her taser in her bra? Why not her pocket?

Jamie: "Mike...I am your father!"

Mike: (eyes widening) "...Really...?"

Jamie: (laughs) "No! Of course not! Do I look like a guy to you?"

Mike: "Actually, ye--"

That's mean... but HAHAHA!

David: "Why do you wanna kill me?"

Snuggles: "Because all the girls in the world want to hug you! But what about me?! I'm soft and cuddly...and I make things smell nice, God damnit!"

Awww, too bad Snuggles.

(Mike put a paper bag over David's head, and Magui snapped out of the hypnosis type state. Magui looked around.)

Magui: "Where'd David go?"

ROFLMAO!

Lee: "While you were unconscious. Emma rehired Michael Jackson and he was in charge of changing you. We left him alone with you while you were unconscious. We should trust people a little more."

Mike: "What!?"

Lee: "Just kidding...Michael Jackson is working daycare today."

AHHH! MICHEAL JACKSON! Hehe, DayCare...

At the end of the song, Justin pulled off Janet's shirt, revealing one of her breasts.

Nice SuperBowl reference.

 

[Hero]

Thanks for the comments, LoL. There's only one chapter less 🙁 I'll post it sometime this week.

 

[Magui]

It was awesome!!!😀...only one?::crying::....nooooooo::crying::

 

[Tru_Davies]

mike ots so sad that its gona finish soon im gona be so empty when it leaves...

 

[Hero]

Taken From "The Journal of Shadows"

"A Capture for Hero fans, but Will the Rescue Follow?"
As the comical classic, The Capture and Rescue of David Boreanaz, nears its final our, the kind and supportive fans of the writer and fanfiction are left to wonder if their favorite comedy will be back for another story. Over 400 people have viewed the story and 10 or more consistent people have read and responded, making the story a huge hit in the world of fiction. The Capture and Rescue of David Boreanaz is a tale of three teenagers who struggle against evil mascots to save the life of David Boreanaz. The final chapter of this story will be released to the public on Tuesday night, thus bringing an end to the characters and adventures it has told. But, will the story be over? Is there a chance that it may return for a sequel? We got up close and personal with Michael George, the writer, to hear what he had to say. "I think it's 50/50 at this point. I really enjoyed writing the first one, but I put all my good material into the story. I'm fresh out of idea's and I can't think of anything new or funny right now. If I do make a sequel, it will take a while before I can put something out there," Michael reports. The fate of this fanfiction rests in the imaginative brain of the writer. We will see how it goes.

 

[Hero]

Sorry, guys, I have to go out tonight and I can't finish the full chapter, but here's a good chunk of it. All that's last is the very ending, kinda like the last 20 minutes of Chosen. Enjoy. I'll post the end of the chapter tomorrow...

Filled with the need to live, David took to his feet and ran, leaving the two fallen Potential Agents behind. Stephanie had died for him, the least he could do was try to prolong his death, for her. Pushing past the double doors, David bolted down the hallway, trying to put distance between him and the Old Navy Person.

Darren was lying next to Magui, mangled on the floor. He sat up on his elbows and looked at Magui. She was out cold. They had been thrown the same distance and hit the same fall. Why wasn't he knocked out too? He pushed the questions out of his head and pushed himself to his feet. He ran out the double doors, gaining on David and the Old Navy Person.

David stopped, turning around. He couldn't run forever and the chances were against him that the Old Navy Person would catch up with him. He was to tired to continue even continue a jog. He wanted to down being brave. He wanted to go down like his character, Angel. He wanted to go down fighting. So he stood his ground, watching in honor as the Old Navy Person sprang into action.

The Old Navy Person jumped in the air, almost sailing at him with alarming speed. His leg was outstretched as he flew towards David. David's instincts kicked in, although somewhat slow, and he ducked out of the way of the first attack. He punched the Old Navy Person in the face and attempted a strong kick. However; the Old Navy Person was strong, trained better than David, and he caught his kick. Holding him in place, the Old Navy Person lifted David off the ground by his neck, slowly choking the life out of him.

David desperately tried to free himself from the grasp of the commercial being. He kicked, punched, pushed and pulled, but it was no use. He felt his life slipping away. Suddenly, a fighting yell rang down the hallway, startling the Old Navy Person and David. Their heads both turned to see Darren standing at the end of the hallway, hands balled into fists.

The Old Navy Person sniffed the air, his nostrils flaring. There was something different about the boy he had just disabled. He was stronger. Stealthier. Cooler. And there was an odd sense of comical weirdness inside him. He smelled like...an Agent.

The Old Navy Person dropped David to the ground, not interested in him for the moment. He charged at Darren. Martha Stewart would reward him greatly for killing an Agent. Darren's muscles flexed as he pulled his arm back and delivered a jaw breaking right hook to the attackers face. The Old Navy Person fell back, slightly howling in pain. The first punch a new Agent throws is always powerful because it's the first time the strength is really used.

Darren threw another punch, followed by a blunt kick to the chest. It seemed almost easy to him that he had the upper hand so quick in the fight. It was like the Old Navy Person wasn't even fighting back. The Old Navy Person had learned Darren's fighting style in the few seconds they had been fighting. He was an arms man; he'd never use his legs unless he absolutely needed too. Each Agent fought in a different way. Mike was deadly with his feet. Stephanie was deadly with her hands. Hannah was deadly with both her hands and feet as well. Darren represented arm strength. He was the remaining piece that fit into the Agent triangle now that Stephanie was gone.

The Old Navy Person caught his next attack, catching his wrist in between his hand. Darren threw another punch, to which the Old Navy Person caught that hand. He smiled evilly at Darren, who was struggling to be released. The Old Navy Person pulled Darren into the air by his hands. He saw Magui coming down the hallway and decided to play horse shoe. He tossed Darren down the hallway, causing him to knock into Magui, knocking them both down.

They both started scampering back into a corner. Although a small blow, it had shattered their concentration and fear had taken its place in their brains. The Old Navy Person closed in on them, growling in glory as he prepared for the final shot to end their lives when suddenly he jumped. Something had hit him. He fell to the floor, a spork sticking out of his back. He was still alive, but greatly injured by the penetrating wound.

Mike, Hannah and Marissa were now visible. Magui and Darren hadn't noticed them since the Old Navy Person had blocked their view. Mike walked to the Old Navy Person and kneeled next to him, placing his hand on the spork.

Mike: "When you go to Hell, tell Martha Stewart this is for Stephanie."

He pushed the spork all the way through the Old Navy Person's body. A few seconds later, his body burst into cloth and disappeared into nothingness. Mike stood to his feet, looking at Magui and Darren.

Mike: "You guys ok?"

Darren/Magui: "Yup."

Hannah: [helping David up] "How about you, David. You injured?"

David: "No, I think I'm fine.

Mike: "Good. Let's move. We have some interesting news that Emma and the rest of HQ needs to know."

* * * * *

Darren sat on the metal table in Lee's medical room. His shirt was off and EKG's were plastered all over his body. He swung his feet childishly over the side of the table as he waited for Lee to return to the room. Mike stepped into the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest in a friendly gesture.

Mike: "You definitely must be an Agent."

Darren: "What makes you say that?"

Mike: "Because Agents are the only people who maintain a childish mentality when going to the doctors."

Darren: "...What?"

Mike: "The swaying of the feet thing. We all do that."

Darren: "Oh." [he pauses] "You think I'm an Agent?"

Mike: "In my opinion, yes. You're the only person who's fought an Old Navy Person and lived...besides Hannah and I. David was almost killed, and he's older and should be stronger than you. But, you're here without a scratch. It seems out of the ordinary to me."

Darren: "We'll see, I guess."

Mike: "Yeah." [turning to leave] "I'll see you around."

Darren: "I'm sorry."

Mike: [turning around] "What?"

Darren: "I'm sorry."

Mike: "...for what?"

Darren: "Replacing Stephanie." [he paused] "I know that she was your best friend and you and Hannah were very close to her. I'm sorry that I have to replace her, take her place as an Agent. It makes her really gone. Me maybe being an Agent makes she's gone and she's not coming back."

Lee walked into the room, carrying his clip board in his hands. He noticed the tense look on their faces and smiled sheepishly as he walked inside.

Lee: "So, Darren are you ready to start the tests?"

Darren: "You're not going to try to disect me are you. I've seen the CIA do that kinda stuff to people. If I go back home a girl with 12 fingers, I'll be pissed."

Lee: "We're not the CIA." [he took out a needle] "The CIA is filled with stuffy old British people that used to run the Watchers Council in England. They don't get anything done except have tea and come close to getting shagged. I'm gunna give you this shot. It's gunna inject a potion into your body that will make your muscles tense. It's going to be very painful, but the results will tell us if you're an Agent or not."

Mike: "Wait. Wait. Wait. Can't you do something else?"

Lee: "There's the other that we use to test women, but that's because it's less painful, but it takes longer."

Mike: "Then use that one on him."

Lee: "Why?"

Mike: "Because, I'm tired of seeing people in pain all the time! I'm sick of it! Stephanie's dead and all people do is give me orders and send me after this person and want this and want that and I need a break! I NEED A BREAK!"

Mike turned to leave, but bumped into a wall, slipped in some water and fell on the ground. He tried to get to his feet, but his shoes slipped in the water and he fell again. His emotional running away scene was ruined. Mike managed to get to his feet after six or seven tried and ran out of the room, flailing his arms behind him.

Darren: "Don't mind him."

Lee: "Yeah, I know." [prepares the needle] "I can understand his position though. I think he deserves a break too, especially now that a close friend died. I'll probably bring it up to Emma at the next staff meeting. Ok." [he sighed nervously] "Take a deep breath."

Lee pushed the top of the needle, injecting Darren with the muscle strengthening potion. Almost immediately, indescribable pain was visible in Darren's face and tears began to form in his eyes. He was brave though, and didn't scream or cry. Lee pulled the needle out of his arm and put his hand on Darren's shoulder.

Lee: "You did good, buddy."

Darren: "Thanks."

Lee watched the charts and results show up on the screen. After a few minutes they were at a stale mate and weren't changing. He pulled charts out of a Mike, Hannah and Stephanie's folder and compared results. He turned to Darren and smiled.

Lee: "Congratulations. You are an Agent."

Darren: "Good. This is good. I mean, I get to fight TV mascots and all that. But, good I guess."

Lee: "Eh. Follow me. We have to get you entered into the system. You need an ID and all that junk."

Darren: "All that junk? What's the junk?"

Lee: "Weapons, powers, trainees, etc."

Darren: "Deadly weapons?"

Lee: "Their deadly if you know how to use them..."

* * * * *

Mike walked into his sleeping quarters located in the West wing of HQ. He kicked the wall angrily. He hurt his foot and cursed under his breath as he walked onto the rub. He sat in a comfortable couch and stretched tiredly. He hadn't showered in two days. He didn't have the time too. It had been one thing after another and he hadn't slept or had something to eat in the two days as well. He sighed, pushing himself off of the couch and trudged to the bathroom.

He opened the door and walked inside, locking the door behind him. He turned on the hot water and undressed himself. He stepped into the shower and let the hot water bring his body back to life. He was covered in blood, dirty and sweat and it felt great to feel it all wash away. It was also a mental cleanse as well. Taking a shower was always something that calmed him down, so he was able to grab onto his feelings again and control his emotions.

He let the water splash down on his face. He ran his wet hands through his hair and reopened his eyes. He turned around to reach for shampoo when he saw Stephanie standing in the shower with him. They both started screaming like girls and Stephanie jumped out of the shower, fazing through the shower door.

Mike: "Hand me a towel!"

Stephanie: "I can't!"

Mike: "Why not?!"

Stephanie: "Because I can't touch anything!"

Mike: "What?!"

Stephanie: "Because I'm a ghost!"

Mike: "But...urgh! Ok! Close your eyes then!"

Stephanie: "Fine...ok!"

Mike waited until Stephanie's eyes were closed and he peaked around the shower door. He quickly padded across the bathroom and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waste. He sighed and looked at her, dripping wet.

Mike: "What the Hell are you doing?!"

Stephanie: "I wanted to say hello..."

Mike: "While I was taking a shower?!"

Stephanie: "I thought you'd have a bathing suit on."

Mike: "Dude, who takes a shower in a bathing suit."

Stephanie: "You did that one time."

Mike: "That was in the winter! And...I was cold! And...it was a bubble bath anyway!"

Stephanie: "Geez. You're not even happy to see me?"

Mike: "Maybe if you didn't jump into the shower and see me naked I'd be a little bit happier."

Stephanie: "You have nothing to be ashamed of...really..."

Mike: "Ew. Ok. Best friends, remember? You talking about me naked is breaking the best friend rules! It's not...correct!"

Stephanie: "Deal with it. I can do whatever I want now. I'm dead."

Mike: "I thought you...just...went away...you know...when the Jolly Green Giant broke your soul orb."

Stephanie: "Yeah, funny thing is. That soul thing was keeping me from moving on. When he broke it, it left me in a limbo kinda thing. I'm not gunna go to Hell cuz I'm a good person who does good things. And, I can't go to Heaven because I passed away a few days ago. So, yup, I'm a ghost."

Mike: "Well, this is great! I mean, you're back!"

Mike attempted to hug her, but he passed right through her and fell into the sink. Stephanie turned and faced him, putting her hands on her hips.

Stephanie: "I'm a ghost, dumb ass. I come with all the nifty powers that every ghost has. You can't touch me and I can't touch things. Ahdur."

Mike: "You're dead and you still annoy me."

Stephanie: "I'm sorry. What do you want, a door prize?"

Mike: "Can you please just leave the bathroom so I can take a shower?"

Stephanie: "Sure. All you had to do was ask." [she leaves the room, but sticks her head back in, fazing it through the wall] "I'll see you later, my sexy beast."

Stephanie laughed, pulling her head back out of the wall. Mike put his head in his hands and sighed to himself. He shook his head and turned on the hot water again.

* * * * *

Everyone in HQ was seated among tables, chairs and charts in the meetings room. It was game time and all available personnel were in the room. Mike, Hannah, Darren, Stephanie, Emma, Lee, Magui, David, Jaden, Marissa, Ryan, Nicole, Michael Jackson, scientists, tactical members, Potential Agents and...Felicia Day. Mike looked at Felicia Day, raising an eye brow.

Mike: "What are you doing here?"

Felicia: "I have a small yet important one liner to do at the beginning of the battle that comes later in this chapter."

Mike: "Oh."

Emma sat at the head of the table. She watched over her crew debating and talking about courses of action to take against the rising forces of darkness. She was worried about the war that was about to take place. She knew people would die, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. She grabbed a hammer from the table and slammed it on the desk, calling for order and also putting a whole in the wooden table. She stood up, resting her hands on the table.

Emma: "This is it. The final fight against Martha Stewart."

Potential Agent: "Martha Stewart? How do you know we are up against Martha Stewart?"

Emma: "Why Mike, Hannah and Marissa were in the Jolly Green Giants dimension, he stupidly informed them of who he was working for at the time. We also have to Potential Agents working inside Martha Stewart's base. They're giving us all information we need, although contact with them was lost yesterday. Lee has some news that will probably brighten up the situation a little bit."

Lee: "You all know how the prophecy goes. Into every generation three Agents. bla bla bla. When one Agent dies, another is called. Stephanie died while saving David Boreanaz from Snuggles. That means another Agent was called. Stephanie's predecessor is..."

Darren: "Me. Hi. I'm Darren."

Lee: "Yes, Darren is the new Agent. Although Stephanie's ass was like...BAM! She's been replaced with Darren now."

Stephanie: "Hello...I'm still here..."

Lee: [startled] "How did you get here? I mean, aren't you dead?"

Stephanie: "I'm a ghost."

Nicole Tieri, Ryan Starr and Marissa started a conversation of their own, disregarding the pointless talk between Stephanie and Lee.

Nicole: "If anything goes down, I can use my scooter as weapon."

Marissa: "I can just screw any of the attackers that happen to have a penis."

Ryan: "I can sing really well and they wouldn't even wanna fight because they'd be sooo happy to hear me sing."

Nicole: "We could be like...the power of three!"

Marissa: "Woo! Party!"

Mike: "Hey, you three, pay attention this is important."

Hannah: "Yeah. If you screw up and we all die, I'll hate you forever. Actually I'll hate you for like...twenty seconds, but that's still a long time if you're a fish."

David: "I kind of feel bad."

Magui: "Why do you feel bad, David?"

David: "This is all because of me. You're all about to go to war so that my life is not in danger anymore. I'm extremely grateful, but I feel horrible that people are going to die because of me."

Magui: "Relax. It's our job to do this kinda stuff. Once Martha Stewart kills you, she'd probably go on to kill others. This war would happen one way or another."

Emma: "I need to call a five minute break. You people are beginning to give me a head ache." [to the Agents] "You three. Take a trip to the morgue and remind yourselves what you're fighting for."

* * * * *

Mike, Hannah, Darren and Stephanie walked into the morgue. The door shut behind them and they slowly crept up to the table in the far side of the room. Stephanie's body lay on the table, covered in a white sheet. Everyone was quiet. Stephanie didn't look like she died in pain, which was a good thing. Hannah looked over her body and coughed.

Hannah: "Where'd her boobs go?"

Darren: "Dude, where'd her limbs go?"

Mike: "Can we try to be respectful here?"

Stephanie: "Hello! I'm still right here!"

Hannah: "You guys, seriously. Where'd her boobs go?"

Michael Jackson walked past the morgue, holding Stephanie's boobs in his hands, sniffing them pervertedly.

Stephanie: "Hey!"

Stephanie ran after Michael Jackson, leaving the three Agents alone together in the room. A few moments later, she reentered the room, out of breath. Why was she breathing? She was dead. She didn't have to do that anymore.

Stephanie: "Basterd got away."

Suddenly, the alarm went off! Sirens and flashy lights blared and filled with HQ with the chaos! People started running everywhere, taking shelter and gathering weapons. Screaming and panic filled the offices as the final battle began. Mike turned to Darren, nudging him.

Mike: "You ready for this?"

Darren: "I think so."

Hannah: "You better keep yourself together for this fight, Mike. We need you know."

Mike: "I know. I think I'm fine now. [pushes past the door and leaves the morgue] "And kicking ass is definatly comfort food."

 

[MentPatient]

Hannah: "You guys, seriously. Where'd her boobs go?"

Michael Jackson walked past the morgue, holding Stephanie's boobs in his hands, sniffing them pervertedly.

HAHA!

Wait... if they want to save DB, why are they bringing him around places that aren't safe, like out into the open while the Agents go after the Jolly Green Giant?

 

[Hero]

Because I don't wanna leave him out of the story. Fan Fics in this area have to be about Buffy stuff, so if I leave him out it might be violating the rules somehow.