The Development I think Xander should have had

[KatPratt]

Ok so I started watching the show when I was seven and as a child Xander was one of my favorites however as an adult I understand more about the problems a lot of people have with his character. After recently having re watched the last three episodes of season 6 I started to think about what Xander should have been vs the way they choose to do him.
Now from what I understand Joss started Xander out as a version of himself in high school then wanted to keep him the every man or the normal one as a way of reminding of us and Buffy of the regular world in these increasingly supernatural situations. The idea behind this is fine but the way the choose to execute it was where they went wrong.
The way they did it kind of put Xander in a box and severely limited his character development and kept him the comic relief which got old after while got old. They relied to much on his jokes to prevent situations the characters were in from getting to serious. The only time we even really know what is going through his head or how he was emotionally handled something was when he left Anya at the alter because he allowed the fear they might end up like his parents override his better judgement. This is also the only time we see him dealing with the implications that his home life as a child and teenager were bad. We knew it was there but we never got to see him dealing with it at all on an emotional level. Then back to the episodes I re watched, Xander spends most of this time feeling sorry for himself but I had a hard time being sympathetic with him because we never really see Xander try to be anything other than the box the writers put him in. So this is what I thinks should have happened.

The writers should have had Xander learning martial arts and diving more into his soldier memories. They should have shown us more of the emotional struggles and fears Xander had from his drunken and neglecting parents.(one thing I was always very confused by was in the beginning of Hells Bells Xander appeared to be on pretty good terms with his parents which made no sense to me given what they had implied about them up until this point) They should have had him trying to juggle a career he found and really enjoyed as well as helping with whatever the hellmouth through at them that week. They should have showed him struggling to keep up with Buffy, Anya and Willow. They should have had him realize that three people he loved the most were always going to miles ahead of him in some ways (Buffy physically and in a leadership sense, Willow with her magical power and Anya with her 1200 years of experience) We should have seen him struggle with all of this more then if the writers still had him leave Anya at the alter it would haven't felt so hollow. Then finally we should have seen him come to terms with himself and except that just because he would never be as powerful doesn't mean he couldn't make a difference too. Then he and Anya could have made peace. Basically we should have seen him do more than just exist. Some of the things people don't like about him would have still been there but they would have made more sense, and we would have seen him eventually grow out of some of them. That is the Xander we should have had.

 

[EVIL UU]

The writers should have had Xander learning martial arts and diving more into his soldier memories.

Why? Xander is a pretty capable fighter. Obviously he's no slayer but he knows how to handle an ax and he knows how to not get killed. His continued survival is a testament to that.

They should have showed him struggling to keep up with Buffy, Anya and Willow. They should have had him realize that three people he loved the most were always going to miles ahead of him in some ways

Then finally we should have seen him come to terms with himself and except that just because he would never be as powerful doesn't mean he couldn't make a difference too.

Isn't that basically the point of his speech in "Potential"?

Xander: Aw, I'm just thinking about the girls. It's a harsh gig, being a potential. Just being picked out of a crowd, danger, destiny,plus if you act now, death.
Dawn: They can handle it.
Xander: Yeah. They're special, no doubt. The amazing thing is, not one of them will ever know, not even Buffy.
Dawn: Know what?
Xander: How much harder it is for the rest of us.
Dawn: No way. They've got-
Xander: Seven years, Dawn. Working with the slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful. A witch. A demon. Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but come a full moon, he had a wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful. All of them. And I'm the guy who fixes the windows.
Dawn: Well, you had that sexy army training for a while, and-and the windows really did need fixing.
Xander: I saw what you did last night.
Dawn: Yeah, I? I guess I kinda lost my head when I thought I was the slayer.
Xander: You thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out you weren't, you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment's pause. You gave her your power.
Dawn: The power wasn't mine.
Xander: They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.

Then he and Anya could have made peace.

Didn't they, like, make peace in season 7? I know that Anya literally haunts Xander in season 10 but still, they started sleeping together again and whatnot.

That is the Xander we should have had.

Personally, I like Xander just the way he is.

 

[Blaze]

It's fair that you wish Xander would have been different, or would have had more development, but the Xander you described honestly just sounds like Riley to me. And I'm not a fan of Riley.

I do love Xander the way he is though, he does have his haters as a character, and he was underutilized especially in the later seasons, but I think he's a great character the way he is.

 

[KatPratt]

I think I realize now I should have put IMO in the beginning because I didn't mean to offend anyone who liked Xander as he was. To me personally it just felt like there were holes in his characterization.
Like @EVIL UU just said about his being a pretty capable fighter and that his continued survival is a testament to that and it is true but they never showed us how he got there. I mean Buffy is a slayer and for all her physical prowess it is shown that she still trains on a regular basis in order to survive and yet Xander is not shown or even mentioned to have trained in any time and yet can fight and hold his own against demons when he needs to? Xander who is suppose to represent the Regular Joe. A Regular Joe would have to some kind of training to do that.
As for that speech, well I loved that scene but it bugged me because how did he get there? We know that at the end of season 6 he was feeling pretty sorry for himself and while I am sure stopping Willow from ending the world must have been a confidence buster it still feels like to me that he would had to do some serious soul searching to get from the depressive state he was in when season 6 ended to the peace he seemed to have when he gave Dawn that pep talk. But they didn't show us that, we don't know how he got there and as someone who likes Xander I would have like to see this.
As for Anya, well to me it felt like to that they made up in the sense that everyone was probably about to die so there was no point in staying angry at each other but I don't think they actually dealt with the way Xander choosing leave her at the alter effected them both on an emotional level.

But again theses are just IMO type things. 

It's fair that you wish Xander would have been different, or would have had more development, but the Xander you described honestly just sounds like Riley to me. And I'm not a fan of Riley.

I do love Xander the way he is though, he does have his haters as a character, and he was underutilized especially in the later seasons, but I think he's a great character the way he is.

I get where your coming from but I didn't think of it that for several reasons. And before I go on I would like to say that I don't have anything against Riley, I understand he came off a bit boring but I think he served a certain purpose for Buffy's character development but I am glad he left when he did.
Now for Xander, I didn't think of it as turning his character into Riley because while I would have like to see them add on and expand what was already there I didn't mean for them to take away what made him Xander. Being his support and connection of his girls, so to speak. but the major reason I think of it as different is because while I can see Xander coming to terms with and even thriving in the situation where the people he loved and depended on the most were so far metaphorically a head of him, Riley couldn't and proved this when he left and married more his equal five seconds later.

 

[bespangeled]

I think that really describes some of the problems I have with Xander. I see him as a raging hypocrite, more and more as the show goes on. He doesn't seem to make a connection between what he says, and what he does. He is the king of refusing to take responsibility - Sweet being a good example, and Anya being an even better one. I think that he really is unable to learn, to fully integrate some very important lessons. As he grows older his humor becomes more passive-aggressive. There are things he does and says that I like and respect - he speech to Dawn being one of them, but even with my latest rewatch I realized that by the end of season 3 he was starting to grate on me.

 

[KatPratt]

I don't actually blame Xander for the whole Sweet thing, mostly because it felt like to the writers just wanted an excuse to do the musical episode but they couldn't think of a reason for Sweet to have come to town so they just decided to blame it on Xander. The major reason I feel this was because none of the other characters didn't get mad at him, the fact that he even did it was just a throw away line at the end of the episode to tie the story into a bow. If you go back to season to where he has Amy do a love spell on Cordelia, people , mostly Giles and Oz get mad at him for it, it is plain from beginning to end that what Xander is doing is wrong but in OMWF it is barley even acknowledged as something he did, let alone that it was wrong. So I personally even have a hard time even taking it into his characterization just because how badly the writers did it. If we had found out sooner and the episode had actually dealt with his action and everyone's reactions then I would be right there with you but the way it was handled annoyed me so much that I can't even really see it as Xander's fault. It was just bad writing IMO.

 

[bespangeled]

I don't actually blame Xander for the whole Sweet thing, mostly because it felt like to the writers just wanted an excuse to do the musical episode but they couldn't think of a reason for Sweet to have come to town so they just decided to blame it on Xander. The major reason I feel this was because none of the other characters didn't get mad at him, the fact that he even did it was just a throw away line at the end of the episode to tie the story into a bow. If you go back to season to where he has Amy do a love spell on Cordelia, people , mostly Giles and Oz get mad at him for it, it is plain from beginning to end that what Xander is doing is wrong but in OMWF it is barley even acknowledged as something he did, let alone that it was wrong. So I personally even have a hard time even taking it into his characterization just because how badly the writers did it. If we had found out sooner and the episode had actually dealt with his action and everyone's reactions then I would be right there with you but the way it was handled annoyed me so much that I can't even really see it as Xander's fault. It was just bad writing IMO.

But that's the way it is for almost everything Xander does. His attempted hyena-rape of Buffy - there is some question of how much of this was hyena and how much it was radically loosened control - either way, he pretended not to remember. No apology to either Buffy and Willow, and you know they would have just hugged him. The same goes for his constant hostility toward Angel, and later on Spike. Yes, they are mass murdering vampires - but he is in love with a former demon who racked a body count higher than the fanged four combined. That's the flat learning curve. The fact that he told Dawn about the AR even though Buffy specifically told him not to. He lost his temper? No, not really - his pride was offended. Walking out on his wedding - not even having the courtesy of telling Anya but just leaving her there to deal with the whole mess.

Look, there is a lot of good in Xander and I love certain parts of his character. But there is that one streak of blindness that is really a refusal to see and admit he did wrong. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions and choices - and he never is called on it. Yeah, he isn't blamed for Sweet by anyone (except some fans). In fact he isn't blamed for any of his choices during the show. Everyone else has their moments, their pettiness, their mistakes, things they try to hide or forget about - and they all end up owning them eventually. Xander walks out on his wedding and when he returns he talks about how awful HE feels. He doesn't even seem to realize what he has done to Anya - he cares about what he did to himself.He wants her back so he can feel better.

That right there is the box I see him in. It's the one way that he doesn't mature that is different from all the other characters. I keep expecting something more, and as the seasons pass I finally realize that Xander will never grow up. He is a large boy, not a man. He has some amazing moments, some great funny lines, and a really caring heart. But he's still a child when it comes to taking responsibility and making amends.

 

[Mr Trick]

But that's the way it is for almost everything Xander does. His attempted hyena-rape of Buffy - there is some question of how much of this was hyena and how much it was radically loosened control - either way, he pretended not to remember. No apology to either Buffy and Willow, and you know they would have just hugged him. The same goes for his constant hostility toward Angel, and later on Spike. Yes, they are mass murdering vampires - but he is in love with a former demon who racked a body count higher than the fanged four combined. That's the flat learning curve. The fact that he told Dawn about the AR even though Buffy specifically told him not to. He lost his temper? No, not really - his pride was offended. Walking out on his wedding - not even having the courtesy of telling Anya but just leaving her there to deal with the whole mess.

Look, there is a lot of good in Xander and I love certain parts of his character. But there is that one streak of blindness that is really a refusal to see and admit he did wrong. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions and choices - and he never is called on it. Yeah, he isn't blamed for Sweet by anyone (except some fans). In fact he isn't blamed for any of his choices during the show. Everyone else has their moments, their pettiness, their mistakes, things they try to hide or forget about - and they all end up owning them eventually. Xander walks out on his wedding and when he returns he talks about how awful HE feels. He doesn't even seem to realize what he has done to Anya - he cares about what he did to himself.He wants her back so he can feel better.

That right there is the box I see him in. It's the one way that he doesn't mature that is different from all the other characters. I keep expecting something more, and as the seasons pass I finally realize that Xander will never grow up. He is a large boy, not a man. He has some amazing moments, some great funny lines, and a really caring heart. But he's still a child when it comes to taking responsibility and making amends.

But those flaws are what makes him such an interesting character. Its those contrasts with his more heroic and funny moments which really give the character depth. The thing with the Buffy/Angel thing I think comes down to weather you believe that he was just acting in his own interests or if you believed that he was felt that he was doing the right thing for Buffy. I do think that he was really concerned and looking out for her and given Angel's past I don't blame him. Yeah he makes rash decisions but he also comes through at crucial times in a way very few characters do.

 

[bespangeled]

I just realized the best way to put it. Back in season one he pretended to forget what he did as a hyena and Giles gave him a pat on the back and a wink. Fast forward to OMWF and Xander basically sings about how he'll never tell, and pretend not to see. This streak has grown into his core, and he's so blind to some realities that he can be a real hypocrite. That's just a flaw I can't empathize with, and he doesn't really evolve until the final part of season 7.

Had Xander died I would have cried my eyes out - it's not a major bias. I just wanted more growth. He stalled I got annoyed and finally gave up on him. Other characters have made huge mistakes but they dealt and learned. I have more respect for that.

 

[Mr Trick]

I just realized the best way to put it. Back in season one he pretended to forget what he did as a hyena and Giles gave him a pat on the back and a wink. Fast forward to OMWF and Xander basically sings about how he'll never tell, and pretend not to see. This streak has grown into his core, and he's so blind to some realities that he can be a real hypocrite. That's just a flaw I can't empathize with, and he doesn't really evolve until the final part of season 7.

Had Xander died I would have cried my eyes out - it's not a major bias. I just wanted more growth. He stalled I got annoyed and finally gave up on him. Other characters have made huge mistakes but they dealt and learned. I have more respect for that.

But I think you are placing too much really-life value on a fictional character. That is the difference between TV and real life. If Xander was a real person who we knew you're right we would probably hate him, or at least get really annoyed with him and not want to bother. But in the context of a TV show those flaws just add depth to the character. Also it makes it mean more when he actually does come good. Whereas maybe when someone like Willow does something good its not such a surprise or note worthy.

 

[bespangeled]

We see him differently - that's cool. Mostly it's probably what we really dislike in reality. Those traits that I listed just annoy the crap out of me. I'm sure there are characters who annoy the crap out of you, but I don't really object to their flaws. Maybe it's a reflection of who we are more than who they are.😉

 

[nightshade]

I think most of Xander's fighting skills came from "on the job" training, he learnt it as he was doing it, no actual training. Xander does seem to have less development than the other characters, and at times seems more like the token male in the show, just there to show the female cast better, yes Spike and Giles were there but they had purpose and storyline and also were able to dip and and out more whereas it seemed that the had to put Xander it in but didn't know how.

 

[Mr Trick]

We see him differently - that's cool. Mostly it's probably what we really dislike in reality. Those traits that I listed just annoy the crap out of me. I'm sure there are characters who annoy the crap out of you, but I don't really object to their flaws. Maybe it's a reflection of who we are more than who they are.😉

I don't think its that at all. If you find Xander annoying as a character then fair enough, but while its good to place some kind of real life logic onto films/TV there are just certain differences which have to be there for drama to function and be entertaining or interesting. Another example is with romance. The reason most romantic comedies end with the couple getting together is because if you spent too much time watching them together then you would get bored no matter how much you liked them. The chase is always more interesting than the end result, but in real life people are actually happy when a good couple are together etc.. Sorry went off on one a bit then but felt it was a point worth making😀 I know what you mean though. Its like those stoner comedies with the likes of Franco and Seth Rogan don't appeal to me because I hate people like that in real life so don't want to watch them or be in their company in a film.

 

[Riderofapocalypse]

I'm on the fence with this one, I like Xander as a character.
I can relate to and understand Xander's persona/mentality/tendencies during high school. (Except not getting freaky with Willow, but never mind that)
I could relate to the man the most during season 4 while he was trying to find himself and stat a career.
But...
(Keep in mind I'm going by what we are shown on screen)
I mean every time I see him in a fight scene I keep asking myself, 'Why in God's name are you not training yourself physically and with weapons? Why are we not seeing you training in any sense of the word? We see Willow practicing magic but your just going to try to get by on what? Why are you even fighting along side Buffy if your just going to be a normal guy? Your a huge liability, c'mon man, I want to see you practicing archery or boxing or something!'

I can't get past Xander being a huge liability on the battlefield during the time it would take the man to become more of a savvy fighter than an effective one. (Focusing on not dieing and getting in a shot or two). I completely understand the time constraints and setbacks of every day life which Xander has to deal with and most of the others do not. But the guy can't practice with a crossbow in the 'Magic Shop's' back room for an hour or two every day or so? No light sparing or lessons from Buffy/Giles?
I Like Xander, but it always bugged me that the guy fights evil with Buffy and never even hits a heavy bag or something.
(But if he is as 'gifted' as Anya says he is, maybe he gets all his exercise there 😎)

And don't even get my started on Xander forgetting army training whenever it's convenient. I'll leave that one alone.

Also, personally, I enjoyed how Xander's character became less of a comedy relief as he matured. Not only is this relatable to myself and the audience, but that made way for Andrew. (Yes I went there).
cheers

 

[gite63]

Anya said it right:

"No, the mature solution is for you to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes, so that no one will notice that you are just a scared, insecure little boy!"

I like Xander as a character, but he did cause some deaths, and anybody seemed to care. But he matured and he payed a price for fighting side by side with the Slayer: he lost an eye.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

But he matured

I never thought he matured. He learned a craft which enabled him to be more useful than before but he was still behaving in season 7 the way he did throughout the entire series. What made it seem like he matured was he simply had less lines.

 

[gite63]

What made it seem like he matured was he simply had less lines.

It seems that his diminished lines were due to Nick's personal problems; but on screen, you can say that his silence could be because he matured; better be quiet, than tell “stupid jokes”...

 

[NothingVentured]

I never thought he matured. He learned a craft which enabled him to be more useful than before but he was still behaving in season 7 the way he did throughout the entire series. What made it seem like he matured was he simply had less lines.

That was always my view, too.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

It seems that his diminished lines were due to Nick's personal problems; but on screen, you can say that his silence could be because he matured; better be quiet, than tell “stupid jokes”...

I just think Spike took over the stupid joke realm and that really left nothing else for Xander.

 

[sosa lola]

Xander's character development has always been too subtle for my taste. I agree with KatPratt I'd have loved to see more of his struggle from his point of view.