The greatest day of your life?

Harley

Imported from Detroit
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Sineya
During a discussion at work, I told the girls that I'm not interested in having a wedding. I plan on getting married someday and I'm truly excited. But the idea of a traditional wedding has never appealed to me. I'm totally fine with just going to the Justice of the Peace and getting a certificate. I do, however, want to have a huge reception party in celebration.

My reason behind not wanting one, is that I find them boring and pointless. When people used to get married, it meant something more than I believe it means now. I don't want to spend the time and the effort for it. I want to spend more time on my marriage, my husband, and the celebration of it than in the symbolism of it.

The girls at work, most of whom are about 10-15 years older than I am, think that eventually I will regret not having a wedding. All but two are married now. One has been divorced twice and the other is engaged to be married by July.

What do you think?
 
I understand what you mean and even though I might want to have a small wedding, I think the marriage is way more important. But again i'm only 16

-Blaze-
 
I agree with you completely KJ, elaborate weddings are pointless and serve no need, and you can save your money for something else. My friends at work went into debt so they could have a huge wedding that cost almost $30,000. That's the price of a pretty nice car.

I don't think you'll regret not having one.
 
S
Shayla
same here!!
I look at it a little differently. I'm going to be a real girl about this and admit that I have thought about my wedding, alot more than I'd like, truth be told. Everytime I do that it is either in the church I grew up going to or on a beach somewhere. Why do I want all that hassle? There are a few reasons.

I want my father to walk me down the aisle. I don't think I could give that up and I really don't think I could take that away from him.

The spiritual side is improtant to me. When I get married I want it to be forever, not just a legal document signed in a courthouse. I want the thumbs up from the big guy upstairs too. I wouldn't feel married, really married unless it had been blessed.

I want the memories. Of course I will have a huge reception, I'm Irish after all. Any excuse for a knees up lol but I want to wear the pretty dress and stand at the end of church filled with people, flowers and music and just see that special someone waiting for me at the top while everything else melts away. It's disgustingly overly romantic but I feel like it's important enough to want that.

I may be on my own with this but to me the real wedding is the church part, the reception is completely seperate. I jsut couldn't give that up.

These are all just my personal opinions and what is right for me. You do what is right for you.
 
I'm Aethiest, so the whole religion aspect of weddings is lost on me. I just don't get it.

But saying that, I do want to get married. In Vegas, in The Little White Chapel or whatever it's called. It has nothing to do with God, it's about showing that person that I am committed to spending the rest of my life with them. It will be just me, the person I choose to marry and our closest friends. I'll probably have a party at some stage to celebrate the fact that someone's taking the risk of living with me, lol, but there'll be no religious aspect at all.
 
Kean
Kean
So this is what happens when we don't read each other's minds...hmm! lol I can see you rocking the Elvis suit!
Kemy
Kemy
Ditto
i like the idea of committing myself to spend the rest of my life with someone...but i'm not sure marriage is for me. perhaps a marriage of sorts, in a non-traditional way. i also won't be getting married anytime soon since that option is not available to me everywhere (i'm gay). i'm not sure i'd want to be a part of an institution that has been so biased and judging to the gay community. i dream of finding someone to be with, to be happy with, to make a home with (or, more accurately, i dream of it with the girl i'm in love with but i seem to have lost), but i'm not sure the way i'd consummate that is with marriage. it would be nice if i had the option, however.
 
At the end of the day it is about what you want. Me personally, my partner and I will be spending the money on marrying on a cruise ship so we are focusing on us and our holiday rather than guests and what they want to happen. Much to our parents disgust but it's not their day 🙂
 
Friendly Lurker
Friendly Lurker
Good for you! :D
I have never really thought that much about it, but I hate being center of attention , my face would be red, I would trip on my dress that is just fate with me . I am a walking disaster . I would have to say a quiet place that me and my future husband has decided away from people a few family members and close friends .
I don't see the need for that big white wedding, I would love to see my dad walk me down the aisle but he would start crying I cannot handle that , my make up would be ruined. Also my mum would'nt be there so it would be a sad day. So some family and friends just a select few 😀
 
I have never understand the point either. Why not just sign that piece of paper and have a normal party if you want to celebrate it.
Find it strange that people who has never been inside a church absolutely must have a church wedding. Makes no sense to me.

It is of course different if you are religious and/or have some kind of connection to the church.

But I guess it is a lot about traditions. That is the way its supposed to be.
And sure, if you want it why not... I will not do it though.

/SK
 
I could never see myself in a huge wedding. I've never even been to one. But I could never justify spending so much money on a single day when there are so many things I'd rather spend that money on.

If I do one day get married (because that's never a sure thing, is it?), I'd probably still like to get dressed up and have a semi-formal affair (since I'm still a romantic at heart), but it would only be small and with close friends and family somewhere outdoorsy. Then a BBQ reception...that would be cool!
 
I would defiantly get married, not a big wedding a small close family event. But i would wear the white dress though and have a big party afterwards!
 
I've really never thought about getting married or what a wedding day might be like for me. I really have no strong opinions either way. I could happily be with someone for the rest of my life and not get married. Although, there are some benefits to getting married. 😉
 
Well, so far my wedding day *has* been the greatest day of my life, probably. 😉

Firstly, I am religious. So, as Kean said, the spiritual side is most important to me. Being Eastern Orthodox, we have a set wedding ceremony, no actual vows, and in my opinion it is extremely beautiful.

To me, the church part was the one that actually mattered. Being betrothed to one another at the entrance to the church, my dad walking me down the aisle after to hand me over to Seraphim, standing there even though I hated my shoes 😉, drinking from the same cup of wine, having our hands tied together as we're led around the table wearing crowns attached to one another by a ribbon... all the symbolism held in marriage lasting forever. It is so, so beautiful. 🙂

The reception was fun, but I had no appetite (even though I hardly ate before the wedding, and we got married at 5:30 in the evening). We had no more than 100 guests at the wedding, but I hated having to go around and talk with everyone. 😉 *is bad person* We had to clear away the tables in order to start the dancing, so the dancing was prolonged longer than I would have liked, as I was starting to get tired and wanted to leave. I ended up splitting my first dance song (the waltz from My Fair Lady) between my dad and my husband, and that was the only dancing I did. 😉

There were lovely memories from the reception however... including the old Carpatho-Russian tradition of the bride wearing a scarf tied under her chin and sitting in a chair. Around me everyone else joined hands and danced around (our priest played the accordion during this) and Seraphim had to break through the circle to get me. 😉 He finally got through, and grabbed me, and I ended up on the floor, but it was lots of fun. 🙂

So the reception was not as "perfect" as I may have wanted (although my cake and food was in every way... especially the cake - I went non-traditional and it was all chocolate 😉). But the wedding is what made my day. For a variety of reasons we had to keep it as cheap as possible, and we were able to do so. We spent more than I might have liked, but we spent QUITE a lot less than your average wedding. It helped that I and my girlfriends and some other folks helped to decorate the church, etc. We had to pay for the cost of the ingredients for the food, but a very dear friend of mine (and most amazing woman) cooked everything (with our help), planned the wedding, made my CAKE (beautiful, beautiful cake, best tasting thing *ever*), and the like. We kept everything pretty simple.

A wedding doesn't have to be big and fancy. But to me it is important because of what it symbolizes, represents and celebrates. 🙂 I think it helps that in my church's wedding ceremony, great marriages from Christian Tradition are mentioned and it is prayed that our marriage will be as long-lasting and fruitful as those.

Just because some people today will throw huge elaborate weddings and they won't last, or they do it multiple times, etc., doesn't mean that a wedding itself is any more useless because of that. If you want it to mean more than "hey look, we got married, everyone look at the bride!" then it can. For me it wasn't about looking at the bride (hey, I would've been fine if everyone ('cept the photographer, priest and my husband, etc. 😉) didn't look at me 😉), it was about spending the rest of my life together with one man to whom I was giving myself, body, heart and soul.

Dunno how well that answered your question, but basically, yeah. My wedding was without a doubt the best day of my life. 🙂
 
H
Harley
great post karma
I'm very much against commitment and exclusivity (to each his own, of course, but this is definitely not my type of thing), so it should be clear where I personally stand on the matter. 😉

If two people really decide to do this, however, I don't see why there should be such a fuss about big traditions/rituals and all. To each his own in this regard, too - if they want the whole package with white dress and tuxedo, church bells and ABBA's "I do I do I do" running in the background, fine; if they just exchange private vows at home alone, fine too.
 
Most definatly I agree, I've always had the logical belief that its not the wedding that will keep a couple together, its the marriage the relationship. Some couples dont get married and stay together just like a normal married couple would. Although marriage does have its benefits 🙂
I cant wait to get married too 😛 Just gotta wait till he asks.. lol :-D
 
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