BuffyNvrForgets
Little Albatross
In the past, I've generally avoided any comic-con panels, interviews or behind the scenes that feature Whedon. I appreciate his work, but the idea of what he's done and how he treats people has always made me upset, so I just choose not to expose myself. It always baffled me, though, to hear many an actor (from Firefly specifically) praise him even in the past 5 years or so about how wonderful and talented he is. I also recently watched the 20 minute "behind the scenes" making of featurette from Serenity (Movie). Suddenly, things started to make sense.
What I'm about to talk about, I would like to note, is completely seperate from all the affairs and relationships, which are a whole other problem. I'm only talking about the complaints of him being rude or "casually cruel".
I think it's fairly reasonable to say that perhaps Whedon is a narcissist. Now, not all narcissists are bad people. It might be an issue, but it's not a death sentence, behaviorally. That being said, it makes it harder to empathize with other people, which is what I believe is going on. Watching the featurette, I heard him make several "jokes", scolding the actors, teasing the editor, making general "you're doing it wrong" or "you are no good" comments in jest, then praising in genuinity. But the praise came when the interview was going on. That's not to say he didn't mean it, and it was all for show, but it makes sense to think he doesn't always cap off his jokes with genuine praise, in the moment.
So, what's my point? Well, I think the reason he makes these comments (that have ended up offending several people) is that, it's just his sense of humor. He's making jokes, having a good time.
So it's okay that he does this, right? It's not his problem who he offends.
Well, actually, no. Absolutely not.
It would be easy to say "oh, well, they're in the movie business, they should toughen up". But no. That's not fair, and it's not responsible.
As a boss and as a director, it is his job to make a good movie. It's his responsibility as a mature human being to make sure the people who work for him aren't entirely miserable because of him.
We cannot control what other people are offended by. But we CAN control what we do and say. If people aren't taking your playful teasing playfully, thats your cue to cut it out.
So why were people so unhappy on Buffy/Angel and Justice League etc., but the people from Firefly seemed to take it fine, even enjoy him?
Well, the easy answer is that the Firefly cast and crew are lying, trying to paint a good picture. But if they aren't, how come?
I think it also depends on the atmosphere. It's been made clear, especially towards the end, Whedon wasn't very happy on Buffy/Angel. He wanted to move on. I can't speak to the whole Justice League situation, but from what I remember, wasn't he coming in late to replace someone else? A grumpy director making rude jokes won't come across as well as a happy director "playfully teasing". This isn't an excuse. He had control over his own attitude. It's just an explaination.
But Firefly was his baby. It was his passion project. He wanted to be there, and by all accounts the atmosphere on set there was overhwelmingly pleasant, the cast warmly expressing that the relationships they formed there have stayed close and familial. But this wasn't all because Whedon was happy. Many of the cast cite Whedon's talent and passion as his great contribution, but Nathan Fillion's attitude and joyful (at times mischievious) presence as what set the tone. That no doubt spun Whedon's attitude to the positive, and any teasing jokes were no doubt better recieved as "big brother playul" on a set where everyone is family.
To sum up, it's important for everyone (not just famous and problematic directors) to know where the line is with whoever you are dealing with. Co-worker, employee, spouse, friend, family. You cannot control how they feel about what you say. But you can control what you say and how you treat them! It's not their job to change. And if you have crossed that line, it's up to you to mend that fence. Don't go blaming them for being too sensitive, or not understanding you.
(I again want to note this did in no way address the relationship issues, nor the "Wonder Woman" script issue etc. Just the complaint I've heard the most about.)
What I'm about to talk about, I would like to note, is completely seperate from all the affairs and relationships, which are a whole other problem. I'm only talking about the complaints of him being rude or "casually cruel".
I think it's fairly reasonable to say that perhaps Whedon is a narcissist. Now, not all narcissists are bad people. It might be an issue, but it's not a death sentence, behaviorally. That being said, it makes it harder to empathize with other people, which is what I believe is going on. Watching the featurette, I heard him make several "jokes", scolding the actors, teasing the editor, making general "you're doing it wrong" or "you are no good" comments in jest, then praising in genuinity. But the praise came when the interview was going on. That's not to say he didn't mean it, and it was all for show, but it makes sense to think he doesn't always cap off his jokes with genuine praise, in the moment.
So, what's my point? Well, I think the reason he makes these comments (that have ended up offending several people) is that, it's just his sense of humor. He's making jokes, having a good time.
So it's okay that he does this, right? It's not his problem who he offends.
Well, actually, no. Absolutely not.
It would be easy to say "oh, well, they're in the movie business, they should toughen up". But no. That's not fair, and it's not responsible.
As a boss and as a director, it is his job to make a good movie. It's his responsibility as a mature human being to make sure the people who work for him aren't entirely miserable because of him.
We cannot control what other people are offended by. But we CAN control what we do and say. If people aren't taking your playful teasing playfully, thats your cue to cut it out.
So why were people so unhappy on Buffy/Angel and Justice League etc., but the people from Firefly seemed to take it fine, even enjoy him?
Well, the easy answer is that the Firefly cast and crew are lying, trying to paint a good picture. But if they aren't, how come?
I think it also depends on the atmosphere. It's been made clear, especially towards the end, Whedon wasn't very happy on Buffy/Angel. He wanted to move on. I can't speak to the whole Justice League situation, but from what I remember, wasn't he coming in late to replace someone else? A grumpy director making rude jokes won't come across as well as a happy director "playfully teasing". This isn't an excuse. He had control over his own attitude. It's just an explaination.
But Firefly was his baby. It was his passion project. He wanted to be there, and by all accounts the atmosphere on set there was overhwelmingly pleasant, the cast warmly expressing that the relationships they formed there have stayed close and familial. But this wasn't all because Whedon was happy. Many of the cast cite Whedon's talent and passion as his great contribution, but Nathan Fillion's attitude and joyful (at times mischievious) presence as what set the tone. That no doubt spun Whedon's attitude to the positive, and any teasing jokes were no doubt better recieved as "big brother playul" on a set where everyone is family.
To sum up, it's important for everyone (not just famous and problematic directors) to know where the line is with whoever you are dealing with. Co-worker, employee, spouse, friend, family. You cannot control how they feel about what you say. But you can control what you say and how you treat them! It's not their job to change. And if you have crossed that line, it's up to you to mend that fence. Don't go blaming them for being too sensitive, or not understanding you.
(I again want to note this did in no way address the relationship issues, nor the "Wonder Woman" script issue etc. Just the complaint I've heard the most about.)