Ok I'm checking in.
I'm a little angry with myself because I spent about 45 minutes writing about the event, and then, when trying to post, the board had crashed and remained down I guess for about 2 or 3 days. It's not the board crashing that made me mad, it is the fact that I closed the browser before realizing I could have back-spaced and saved my little story. The story included a few things that I remembered her and I saying, but for the life of me I can't rember what they were now. I suppose it's not a big deal, but it was such a waste of time lol.
Anyway the essence of the story was that I went to the mall, took a little time selecting a likely target based on certain criteria (no wedding ring, alone, attractive, and looked to be a mall-employee - which is a bonus because when a person is on their break it ensures that they aren't on a rush-rush agenda usually), and walked right up, sat down at her table and just started chatting as if I'd always known her. I really don't have a problem with talking to people, it only becomes an issue when I fixate on the goal of asking a girl out, so if I keep my mind off of that and just let the conversation evolve things go rather smoothly. Anyway i chatted to this girl (who worked at a salon in the mall - score one for good recon!) for about 15 minutes and then asked her if she wanted to get a coffee at the Starbucks after she finished work, and she said she was tired, which is another way of saying 'I'm not interested, but thanks for asking' and I left it at that.
Rejection isn't so bad.. I rejected about 100 women in my own mind before I approached her, so I can hardly blame her for excersizing her right of choice. 😛
PS: You'll notice I never asked her if I could sit down. This is because of two things:
1: Asking would have given her an early option of rejection before she even knew me in the least, and many people would take that option right away, because they are suddenly nervous and off-balance.
2: Asking, while being the considerate thing to do, would have betrayed a slight lack of self confidence, which would put me in a bad light for the remainder of the conversation - if it even took place. If she really had a big issue with me sitting down she would have hinted at it, and I could have taken the hint in good grace at that time and moved on. The cliche is 'getting my foot in the door'.
Don't get me wrong, I'm just exactly as insecure as the next guy, I've just had alot of time to figure out the ways in which I can sabotage myself. I find that despite being insanely nervous, if I just view meeting people as a positive event, the rest goes so much more smoothly.
Sorry about the coldness of the post. In my original story I described my feelings of nervousness during the event a little better, and the whole story was so much better written, but I can't bring myself to write on the same topic in the same way twice. It always feels wrong. Next mission I'll post a much better story, I promise. 🙂
I'm a little angry with myself because I spent about 45 minutes writing about the event, and then, when trying to post, the board had crashed and remained down I guess for about 2 or 3 days. It's not the board crashing that made me mad, it is the fact that I closed the browser before realizing I could have back-spaced and saved my little story. The story included a few things that I remembered her and I saying, but for the life of me I can't rember what they were now. I suppose it's not a big deal, but it was such a waste of time lol.
Anyway the essence of the story was that I went to the mall, took a little time selecting a likely target based on certain criteria (no wedding ring, alone, attractive, and looked to be a mall-employee - which is a bonus because when a person is on their break it ensures that they aren't on a rush-rush agenda usually), and walked right up, sat down at her table and just started chatting as if I'd always known her. I really don't have a problem with talking to people, it only becomes an issue when I fixate on the goal of asking a girl out, so if I keep my mind off of that and just let the conversation evolve things go rather smoothly. Anyway i chatted to this girl (who worked at a salon in the mall - score one for good recon!) for about 15 minutes and then asked her if she wanted to get a coffee at the Starbucks after she finished work, and she said she was tired, which is another way of saying 'I'm not interested, but thanks for asking' and I left it at that.
Rejection isn't so bad.. I rejected about 100 women in my own mind before I approached her, so I can hardly blame her for excersizing her right of choice. 😛
PS: You'll notice I never asked her if I could sit down. This is because of two things:
1: Asking would have given her an early option of rejection before she even knew me in the least, and many people would take that option right away, because they are suddenly nervous and off-balance.
2: Asking, while being the considerate thing to do, would have betrayed a slight lack of self confidence, which would put me in a bad light for the remainder of the conversation - if it even took place. If she really had a big issue with me sitting down she would have hinted at it, and I could have taken the hint in good grace at that time and moved on. The cliche is 'getting my foot in the door'.
Don't get me wrong, I'm just exactly as insecure as the next guy, I've just had alot of time to figure out the ways in which I can sabotage myself. I find that despite being insanely nervous, if I just view meeting people as a positive event, the rest goes so much more smoothly.
Sorry about the coldness of the post. In my original story I described my feelings of nervousness during the event a little better, and the whole story was so much better written, but I can't bring myself to write on the same topic in the same way twice. It always feels wrong. Next mission I'll post a much better story, I promise. 🙂