i am a huge football fan (of the dallas cowboys) and have been for the past 36 years. it breaks my heart to see what is happening, and what has been happening throughout football's history. domestic violence (i sort of bristle at this phrase, as it acts as sort of a qualifier; violence is violence and needs no modifiers) has been perpetrated the entire time i have been watching football, certainly, and long before. i have long wished that a coalition of players--not league stooges--would gather to address this issue directly. teammates need to hold one another accountable. similar to the military and the reprehensible crimes committed against fellow women and queer officers, it is up to those members--who i believe are easily the majority--who know how to treat their spouses and partners to educate, mentor, and hold accountable their brothers who commit such vile acts. Additionally the nfl should use it's vast resources to provide sanctuary and safe haven for victims of violence, all victims, not just those involved with nfl players.
additionally, it is time to start educating players, not only on the fact that, you know it's wrong to hit or beat anyone, but especially people who are often dramatically smaller. ray rice knocking out his then fiance in a public space is horrifying, because it suggests that, had they been in private, at their home, wherever, he easily could have killed her. in addition to education that directly relates to spousal abuse, football players--who are asked to be and rewarded for being violent--need serious training in coping skills, mediation, and non-violent conflict resolution. i agree that stiff penalties need to be imposed, but kicking violent offenders out of the league doesn't really solve the problem, it only solves the nfl's image problem. the league has money, resources, and influence to help address the root causes of this issue. as a purveyor and promoter of violence, the nfl owes it to the society that adores it--and makes it rich--to try and mitigate this vile problem. my wife works as a domestic violence counselor. she not only counsels victims, but she also counsels perpetrators, and this is the sort of thing that makes me love her infinitely. this problem cannot be eliminated without making a commitment to those who commit acts of violence, people who more often than not were victimized by violence themselves, in addition to those who are victimized.
