The pros and cons of adulting...?

[MarieVampSlayer]

Pros

Overall freedom
No one asking you where you are going and at what time will you be back
You can make mood choice - Want 5 coffees? you got it! Want to eat 5 cheesesburgers? You go girl/guy! Want to watch all the Buffy seasons in one week? Why not?
The choice of your appearance. You can change your hair color, get a tattoo, piercings, whatever you like!
The older you get, the wiser you get. As you grow older, you have less chance of doing stupid choices like drinking vodka and sour puss together. Or gas station sushis. Or questionable fashion.
You don't feel the need to impress others as much. I now do not care what other people think of me. They can all suck it 🙂
You don't feel the need to follow everyone or every trend. I refuse to get social media crazy or to love current hip hop.

Cons

Money. Getting some is hard and spending it too easy. Also, it can reduce your freedom of choices which make them more cons than pros.
Paying for everything!!!
Being called ma'am or anything related to growing old as a woman. You transition from sexy to mother to old lady in a second!
Being busy working and not really living. This is very occidental but yeah we do spend more time at work then with our family.
No more time for naps (but this comes back again once you retired I heard!)

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Pros
Overall freedom

Cons
Money. Getting some is hard and spending it too easy. Also, it can reduce your freedom of choices which make them more cons than pros.

This is pretty much the opposite for me. Pros: Money. Cons: Freedom. Got enough money to be happy with and buy stuff, etc, but aint got no freedom to actually DO anything.

 

[MarieVampSlayer]

This is pretty much the opposite for me. Pros: Money. Cons: Freedom. Got enough money to be happy with and buy stuff, etc, but aint got no freedom to actually DO anything.

Hard to guess what is worst...Maybe we should trade some money for some freedom? But I don't know how you could get more freedom...unless you are in jail!

 

[WillowFromBuffy]

I simply refuse to adult. I rent, I don't own a car, and I only work when money's low. Seriously, I had more responsibilities when I lived at home and went to high school.

 

[Fuffy]

Pros
No curfew.
Being able to watch whatever you want.
You can eat whatever you feel like.
Parents don't go asking where you were.
More freedom online.

Cons
You learn that no one is immune to anything.
Job.
Responsibilities (meaning not as much free time).
Your metabolism isn't the same as it was when you were 15.
You have to pay for things.
Taxes.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Pros
One of the joys about being an adult is being able to choose who I want to be friends with, and not need to worry what others think I have chosen to be friends with Amber Bunny Slippers regardless what others say.

Cons
When getting older my memory and the realization of what I am doing falters.. .., uh oh, did I just admit to saying I am friends with Amber Bunny Slippers in writing?

 

[November]

This is pretty much the opposite for me. Pros: Money. Cons: Freedom. Got enough money to be happy with and buy stuff, etc, but aint got no freedom to actually DO anything.

I'll trade ya some of my freedom and relieve you of the money 😉 You can live VR through me at work. Its basically what fb messenger became for me. I should start charging 😛

Con - getting excited over brilliant ideas until someone points out reality.

Pro and con - compromise.

I have a lovely house in the country .... But, it is in the country.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

HoppyHippy,
poor you having a house in the country. Do you want to know the pros and cons of that are?
The con is that the politicians are all thick as a brick here they are of the opinion that eastern Australia do everything right.
As far as the pro goes (and there is only one) none of the politicians have the name Donald Trump.

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

For me, a lot of this is about family stuff. I HATED my childhood and being a minor was just part of that. I love being an adult. Thank you for thinking this up. Sometimes adulthood is hard work. Thank you for allowing me to pause for a few moments of gratitude!!

Pros:

• Escape parents mom.
• Autonomy/Free to be me.
• Can dress how I want without a fuss about it.
• I can live my life without wearing make up if I want without getting grief about it.
• Make a destiny not dependent on my mother's insanity. not having to move every year, sometimes more than once.
• Not having to constantly argue with someone crazy, irrational and with the personality of Donald Trump and none of the advantages!!
• Not having to deal with an abusive, profligate narcissist and be subjected to her decisions or the consequences of them (including her side of the family rejecting both of us).
• Discovering that without my mom around, I actually get along with my relatives!! 😎😎
  
• Mostly, adulthood has been a big plus for me. Hated being a child, bullied, and hurt and unable to fight back effectively. Not controlling anything, moving all the time and being the new kid from the wrong country, class, race etc.
• Can live in a place I like, where I feel I fit in😎
• Can live in the same house for more than 20 years!
• Can have relationships with whomever I want, without family interference. (mostly)🙄
• Can follow my own interests.
• Don't have to live like a feral animal.
• Can be financially responsible.
• Working for a living!
• I (mostly) get blamed ONLY for my own mistakes!!!
• You can get a divorce from your evil husband (or wife). Family, sadly (for some of them anyway), is permanent.
• I drive a 23 year old car I love.
• I own my own car, house, etc.
• My cats own me.
• I can have as many cats as I can afford to feed and accommodate sanely. Currently 2.
• I don't have to skip lunch to buy records anymore.
• I have money.
• Sex, especially great sex. (wouldn't mind more...)
• a husband who does ALL the laundry and most of the cooking

Cons:

• Working for a living 😛
• Being financially responsible (yes, this is both a plus and a minus!)
• Worrying about aging and saving for old age.
• Discovering that you can't always make your dreams come true and coming to acceptance that the sky may in fact be lower than you think. (limits exist). Bite me, reality! No, really, reality, you can stop biting me. I have had it with you!!
• Discovering that adulthood doesn't fix everything. I can't make up for the destroyed relationships with my father's side of the family (or the ones that never happened) or the perception that I am my mother's 'mini me'.
• There is no Mr. Perfect.
• I have to pay for insurance and mortgages and such.
• If I screw up, I can't blame anyone else!!
• housework, garden maintenance... (the non decorative 'joy' jobs)... but i had to do those as a teenager, so it's a wash.

 

[November]

Can live in the same house for more than 20 years!

OH! I am SO looking forward to this one! The longest I have ever lived in one place was in the shed. Now I have a house that I could stay in for that long, if I can keep it standing 😛 It so foreign to most of my current friends because they still live in the home they grew up in. I never stayed anywhere long enough to get that attached to call a specific house "home".

Discovering that you can't always make your dreams come true and coming to acceptance that the sky may in fact be lower than you think. (limits exist). Bite me, reality! No, really, reality, you can stop biting me. I have had it with you!!

Inspirational memes do not help this. I say "yep, I give up" and then some dope decides to be encouraging... Don't let disability stop ya! Go after that job! Oh crap, it stopped you again didn't it? What were you thinking?!?!?

 

[DeepBlueJoy]

OH! I am SO looking forward to this one! The longest I have ever lived in one place was in the shed. Now I have a house that I could stay in for that long, if I can keep it standing 😛 It so foreign to most of my current friends because they still live in the home they grew up in. I never stayed anywhere long enough to get that attached to call a specific house "home".

I feel you. I am so sorry you had to grow up in that rootless life - it sucks. I went to more than a dozen schools, lived in three countries before I was five, more than thirty different houses before I got my own place. Once I got my first proper apartment, I lived there 7 years. After just THREE years, it was the longest I'd ever lived anywhere in my life. I HATE moving. But i'm very, very good at it. sighs. I wish you stable and peaceful, non drama life. It is such a relief.

Inspirational memes do not help this. I say "yep, I give up" and then some dope decides to be encouraging... Don't let disability stop ya! Go after that job! Oh crap, it stopped you again didn't it? What were you thinking?!?!?

Life is way too hard sometimes. It isn't just you.

I only ask you not to give up on making some joy in your life... finding it or creating it however you can. The lovely dreams are wonderful and I hope some of them can come true -- it can be brutal AND worth it to try -- but sometimes they aren't possible, or the price is just too destructive. Illness and frankly, the consequences of other people's BS (growing up 'on the road' makes it hard to get prepared for life) can make it hard to do the things you wish you could.

Don't let anyone beat you up (or put you down) because life didn't turn out the way they think it should (or even the way you wanted it to). Sometimes just surviving is all we can do. And it is an accomplishment because many people do not. Frankly, I look in the mirror and I know my best decisions led to survival, not grand triumph and that is more than OK.

Do I wish I were a neurosurgeon with a book deal and four perfect children? Absolutely. Do I know that in another life I could have done the things I wanted? Most of them, definitely. But I didn't and it is reality. But I have friends. I am creative. I have love. And I SURVIVE. I've actually done more than that, but surviving is the first priority.

As Buffy said, rule one: Don't die.

I work hard at that one. I work hard at not being miserable. Because suffering is inevitable and I've had a lot of it dished my way... but misery? That is optional. Wallowing is a choice. I only get one turn on this mortal coil. I may not be rich, famous or have a perfect life, but I am gonna suck the marrow out of the one i have and enjoy it as much as possible, even if it's just reading fanfiction and talking about Buffy with my friends and hanging out on second life. I am grateful for (among other things) writing, reading, music, friends, recovery and cats.

Regarding misery. Please note: I am NOT talking about depression. That is not a choice. That is an illness, and life damage only exacerbates it. Though getting help is a choice, getting well from depression is NOT trivial and for some people it isn't possible or not entirely possible.

I wish you peace and joy... and contentment.

And I wish you a little boredom. Drama is overrated.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

DeepBlueJoy,
me thinks you need an older adult to watch over you,
to tell you when a post is to long.
(Takes cover and waits for tales of condemnation.)

 

[Ethan Reigns]

DeepBlueJoy,
me thinks you need an older adult to watch over you,
to tell you when a post is to long.
(Takes cover and waits for tales of condemnation.)

This post is too long. The post from @DeepBlueJoy was just long enough.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

This post is too long. The post from @DeepBlueJoy was just long enough.

There's too many vowels in this post. 😜

 

[Taake]

Thr's t mn vwls n ths pst. 😜

Fixed it for you.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Now you've done it Taake, by removing Amber Bunny Slippers vowel's, you made it obvious the plight of 'h' and 'r'.
Or to put another way,
hr r's is feeling neglected!
(and yes I know the 'h' isn't really one of those who is neglected but ABS might think I'm being a bit naughty, only talking about her r's.)

 

[November]

work hard at that one. I work hard at not being miserable. Because suffering is inevitable and I've had a lot of it dished my way... but misery? That is optional

What number on the keypad do I choose to avoid that option?

The only time I am peaceful is alone in prayer/praise and man o man have I been warned against that! Bring up god and risk another stint in the looney bin.

Adulthood is great, but the pressures to conform to current trends seem stronger than in childhood. Instead of a spat in the playground, and then acceptace of quirks- its friendship ending. Lucky for me I do have quality long term friends, but we'll all be relieved once I die. Totally accept that I am miles weaker now, definitely less busy and less resiliant as an adult. The sticks they use in adulthood to beat ya down are so much bigger! Maybe I wasnt bullied enough as a child to be ready for that sort of treatement.

Con - loss of dignity.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

There are two buttons that you could press to get full misery, so to avoid that, don't press those buttons. the numerical buttons are NO:13 and NO:666.

The only time you are peaceful is when you are in prayer/ praise. Do you mean that no one else is with you?

And is that for prayers to one god or several

 

[November]

Con - being stiff and sore in the morning haha

Its more like this @ILLYRIAN -

I am a bit like the woman in the blue shirt, while society seems a bit like the woman in the pink shirt. Anyways, over it now, got food cooking and it is perfect timing to chill out the rest of the day.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Well I'm glad you are not like the pinky one she sounds like Rosanne, I'd have never have figured you for someone who wore glasses.
I'm at a loss with the food making bit, mainly cos I burnt the three days worth of pasta I was boiling. Best part was I was outside doing the gardening and I kept looking about wondering who had a fire.
I long for the days when I had a memory that worked. Yep glad I'm an adult