The Riley conundrum

B

Buffanator

got Spike?
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I always thought Buffy did love Riley, but yes she "shut down" emotionally especially in Season 5 after Joyce got ill - but I don't recall Buffy EVER saying she loved Riley. At least not to Riley. Even during their most hot & steamy moments - she never said it. Why do you think she never said she loved him?
 
BuffyElevated
BuffyElevated
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No, she never said it.
My theory is, it's a little the same as with Spike. Buffy finds it very hard to say those words. So she doesn't just say them if he doesn't really really mean them. That's why I think that when she said it to Spike she was saying the truth. Because she doesn't just say "I love you".

I think Buffy cared for Riley. But according to what I said, I believe she doesn't really feel this way for him, or she would have said it.
 
Because she didn't love him. At least, she wasn't in love him. I think it is very obvious that she cared for Riley deeply. And their bond, whatever its nature continues, but she wasn't in love with him. Riley saw that. And so did Xander.

The only time she claims to love Riley is during her fight with Angel at the Police Station in Sanctuary. And it is made painfully clear that Buffy is only saying it to hurt Angel.
 
PassionBecoming
PassionBecoming
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BuffyElevated
BuffyElevated
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Buffy is definitely very reluctant to use the "L" word lightly. As nearly as I can recall, she's only said it directly to two men in her life. I do agree that she had very strong feelings for Riley, and she might have even wished that she could have loved him, but, ultimately, there have been only two real "Long Haul Guys" for the Slayer.
 
I think Buffy loved him, but wasn't in love with him, which are two completely different things. Plus, after what happened with Angel and Parker, she's probably afraid to say "I Love You" in case she gets hurt again. Same with when she was with Spike.
 
Of course, she also revealed to Giles in Intervention that she has trouble with the word "love" itself. Which she seemed to suggest was something to do with becoming harder that she thought had been gradually happening to her since becoming the Slayer. She was very open with Angel about her feelings, but I don't think she was ever as open as that about anything or to anyone after her encounter with Angellus at his house after they slept together.
 
I think she really cared about him and WANTED to be in love with him, since he was the first good, regular (mostly) normal guy she's dated. But, you can't just make yourself fall in love with someone, no matter how "perfect" they are. I think she really, really wanted to be a normal girl in a normal relationship, but just couldn't her heart into it.

Like Dawn points out to Riley (unwittingly painfully): there was all that drama with Angel, but Buffy just didn't get all upset/excited over Riley.
 
N
NothingButSong
I agree with all of this :)
I used to think it was just my teenage crush on SMG that made me dislike Riley (what am I talking about, I still think she's still fine today) but Riley was just a dull character in my opinion. Yeah the initiative made him pretty interesting I guess but he was just so black and white about everything. I actually agreed with Spike's description of him being 'Captain Cardboard' and when he told him later that 'The girl needs a bit of demon in her man'.

In answer to the topic, no, she didn't love Riley but he clearly loved her. I think Buffy does need that danger in her relationships since she faces danger everyday of her life and despite all the complaints of being the Slayer she gives throughout the series, she needs it and likes it and without the danger, would be very bored.
 
I think the closest thing she ever said to Riley regarding the love she had for him, was when Riley said, "Because I am so in love with you I can't think straight" and she replied, "I know the feeling." I can't remember what episode it was in, I think...maybe the end of Goodbye, Iowa. I may be wrong.

Anyway, I don't think Riley was boring or that he wasn't "bad" enough for Buffy. I liked Riley a lot. He was someone who cared about helping, but obviously grew up in a different environment than the Scooby gang. The fact that he was so willing to go against years of training and the security he felt with the military to side with Buffy and the gang I think speaks volumes of his character and gives him a lot of credit for not just being a tool or sheep of the military. With regards to Buffy, I just think Buffy was clearly still in love with Angel, and going through that transition into not being with him. But I don't blame that on Riley not be good enough.
 
I can't believe that I never realized that she didn't ever say the words directly to him. I can't imagine sustaining a relationship for that long with someone that I couldn't say "I love you" too. Then again, I can't imagine myself in any other relationship than the one I am in with my Husband. So I guess that is moot.

And actually this actually makes when she said it to Spike a little easier for me to understand. She even seemed uncomfortable then. Actually every time she says it to anyone after Angel, even if it's to Dawn, it sounds awkward. Angel really did a number on her, I guess.
 
Because I don't think she loved Riley. I think she had feelings for him, but those feelings wasn't as deep as the ones she had had for Angel.
 
I think she loved him in a different way than she loved Angel. But I think it was more as a friendship than true love. I think at that point in her life, she just wanted to be a normal girl & have a relationship so badly that she was more in love with the idea of it than anything.
 
I think she cared for him but after going through all the drama that was Bangel she was reluctant to put her heart on the line again. Combine that with her mother's illness and her getting more into her slaying and it made it rather difficult for her to be that open with someone- something she struggled with until season 7.
 
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