The Scoobies and Xander's girlfriends

I think it just came down to the fact that both Buffy and Willow didn't really like either Anya or Cordelia. Both Buffy and Willow made no real effort to become close with either Cordelia or Anya. Whenever they are in scenes together Buffy comes across as finding Anya strange such as the scene where Anya says she needs to "Pee now", Buffy leaves abruptly. In the case of Cordelia they just never saw eye to eye.

Willow and Cordy became closer as time went on, more so than Willow did with Anya.
 
Willow I can't really fault her hating Cordy.

I mean before xander and cordy hooked up Cordy was just a B*tch to willow (making fun of her constantly etc. etc.).

so yea sorry if someone's an asshole to me for 10+ years and then all of a sudden is dating a friend that doesn't make me love them 😛.

As for anya I dunno. I never really liked anya much so I never really noticed/cared that buffy/willow/scoobies were rude to her.
 
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