KD bounds onto the stage, grinning broadly, clearly not aware of the weaponry surrounding him. He's dressed as usual, in chainmail over boiled leather, gauntlets, and a half-helm. He puts his heavy battleaxe into his belt as he takes the rather large and bulky award from Mr. Pointy. Pointy immediately rushes off to the safety of the wings, behind a riser. Killerdwarf approaches the microphone.
I'd like to thank the members of Buffy-boards for giving me this award. It is deeply gratifying to know other people find your writing entertaining. I'd also like to congratulate my fellow nominees. There are really no winners or losers in this catagory. It takes talent to take an idea and put it into words. It takes courage to put those words on display for others. I'd like to encourage all of you to keep on writing. We love your stories, so share them!
Kd smiles wickedly, and looks over the audience.
By the way...I'm still funny. I may not have got nominated for the Xander Award, but I AM STILL FUNNY! Got it?!
From the back of the audience a male's voice floats up:
No shit dude, yer wearin' a skirt!
Kd frowns deeply, and his eyes glaze in warning.
WHO SAID THAT!? I'M WEARING CHAINMAIL! WAS THAT YOU, DZHUGASHVILI, YOU CHEEKY RABBIT?! WHO SAID THAT!?
The enraged dwarf steps out and pulls his axe from his belt. The security nerds move to intercept. In the blink of an eye, there is a red haze of blood spatter covering everything for three rows away from the stage. Nerd body parts litter the area. Pointy cringes in the wings, trying to figure out how he's ever going to get security for this event in the future. Just as the homicidal gnome is about to go into the audience, Old Master and nerd4hire hit him simultaneously with the taser and the cattle prod. The chainmail conducts the electricity well, and the dwarf crumples to the ground. Old Master and nerd4hire each grab an arm. As the dwarf is carried away, he mumbles:
Still funny...still....funny...
and slumps into unconsciousness.
