Things that change when you leave University

[Kean]

I found this in work today and thought it was brilliant...and worringly realsitic :wow:


Things that change when you leave University


1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone at all.
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
6. You know all the people sleeping in your house.
7. You hear your favourite song in the elevator at work.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy (or Ricky Lake for our American friends).
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters anymore.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
12. You don't go to Tesco/Wal-Mart with all your friends.
13. You having standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You pay the government thousands every year.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as "˜dressed-up'.
19. You are the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn the stereo down.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
21. Washing up is no longer an annual ritual.
22. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You feed your dog Pedigree Chum instead of Mc Donald's.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put finished curries in the fridge for later.
28. You don't spend half you day strategically planning pub crawls.
29. You "hate scrounging students".
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to drink "˜till dawn.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps for noon till 6 p.m.
36. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
37. You go to the chemist/drug store for Panadol (aspirin) and antacids not condoms and home pregnancy tests.
38. A €3 bottle of wine is no longer "˜pretty good stuff'.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
40. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
41. You don't name the mice living in your kitchen.
42. Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles and cans of Bulmers.
43. You don't go to Bargin Booze to buy voldka.
44. You vacuum.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
46. "˜I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces "˜I'm never going to drink again'.
47. Over 90% of time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
48. You don't experiment with banned substances.
49. You don't get drunk at home to save money before going to the pub.
50. Lunchtime is not "˜the morning'.

 

[Blondie Bear]

In America, you go from 130 days of vacation to ZERO. Stupid workaholic culture.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

Haha, now I'm really looking forward to starting university this summer.
It's kinda scary though that maybe half of the list already applies to me although I'm not even at university ye. Maybe it's the slight age difference, we have 13 classes, so naturally we start university a bit later than people do in other countries.

 

[Joyce Summers]

This was just classic- I loved it. Great post. I found myself nodding so much I was worried my head may fall off.

Ones that particularly made me laugh (from the truth of it all!) were:

1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
9. The bank manager doesn’t write threatening letters anymore.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
39. You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.

And then we have the ones that make you go 'Gulp, I'm, I'm a....grown-up!' haha.

5. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
37. You go to the chemist/drug store for Panadol (aspirin) and antacids not condoms and home pregnancy tests.
44. You vacuum.
45. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.

I remember when I first went for a drink after leaving college and I was like 'What? It costs more than $2 for a drink?!' Haha.

 

[Lily]

I just about had a heart attack buying a round after Uni, and the girl was like that'll be $32, I was so shocked!

 

[Joyce Summers]

I know I was exactly the same. It's like 'But I could live on $10 a week back in college, now that won't buy me one round?! What Bizarro World did I wake up in?!'

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

Is alcohol cheaper at colleges? Do colleges sell alcohol? SOrry for the dumb question, I'm just curious why you're all having the shocks of your lives whe first drinking after college.

 

[randiann]

That list is my life now even though I'm still in college, except I was never much for the party scene! It is funny though

 

[Joyce Summers]

Social Suicide, If you go to a college where it has it's own 'city'. i.e on campus there are bars, pubs, clubs, cinemas, galleries, shops etc then yes, everything is a lot cheaper. The maximum amount I paid for a drink was around $2 at the campus bar. But then you go out into the real world and face real prices. This is why grown-ups don't get drunk often- they can't afford to! Literally! Haha

 

[randiann]

Adults don't get drunk all the time where you are from Joyce? Man, we live in two different worlds, I don't think I know even one responsible adult....except maybe my grandma...

 

[Blondie Bear]

StuckinTraffic agrees: Wow, what kind of sucky job do you have? I get 3 weeks a year...and my hubby gets 4!

I'm sure we'll get that kind of thing after we graduate, too, but up til now, my jobs have all been retail, and they tend to not give you vacation unless you're full time--and they make damn sure you can't get enough hours to be full time (that saves them from having to give you health care benefits and a 401k, too).

 

[Joyce Summers]

Adults don't get drunk all the time where you are from Joyce? Man, we live in two different worlds, I don't think I know even one responsible adult....except maybe my grandma...

The place where adults don't get drunk all the time? Haha. I'm in South California...and beyond parties, no one I know gets sloshed very often.....

My grandmother however was another matter entirely.....haha

 

[white avenger]

The one I've always hated ios that your waist gets thicker while your hair gets thinner (it's obviously a guy thing)

 

[randiann]

Wow, it's different here in the land of irresponsibility. I can name at least 10 adults I know age 40 or older who get drunk on a weekly basis. And even with me being half their age, I'm more mature than they are. That's kinda sad.....

 

[Joyce Summers]

Huh, strange. Maybe it does happen in California...but I just don't know those people in particular. Haha. But no, quite a responsible bunch of adults. No drinking unless it's an event- like a birthday, or a Christmas party, or New Year's....

 

[randiann]

It's probably because there is more stuff to do out in CA then here. Plus, my perceptions are probably skewed by having two partiers for parents....

Plus y'll aint got no moonshine out in Hollywood I'd reckon!

 

[Joyce Summers]

Moon....shine....? :Blinks slowly in confusion: hehe.

And I suppose there is more to do...but I don't think anymore than there is anywhere else. But I think sunny weather has a lot to do with it. It's been proven that in Summer/Hot weather people are less likely to go drinking or to go into clubs because they wish to enjoy themselves outside. So maybe that's something to do with.... :shrugs:.

And two partiers for parents? My Mom was never a partier...she used to throw a strop and sulk like a teenager though if she was unhappy about something. It was terrible. It was like 'Erm, who's the teen and who's the adult here huh?'

 

[Hello Cutie]

Haha I love the one about the price of drinks! My mates all came to visit me for my 21st a month or so ago, and they're all 23-24, so finished uni about 2-3years ago and have joined the real 'grown-up' world. They are now practically begging for me to invite them back again for another weekend bender, because they've not bought a round that costs less than £10 in years, let alone £5 a round!!

I'm DREADING leaving at the end of this year, purely because of how expensive life will be- but then I get to go back in a year's time for 2more years of partying, booze, freezing houses and all night-benders, followed by all night coursework completion!

 

[randiann]

Who said anything about not going outside? My dad's fave place to go to drink is his semi annual trout camp, where he and all his buddies go camp out in the woods, fish, and get sh** faced. And then there's the parties in the spring and summer where everyone goes and has a cookout at someone's house, and then they all pretty much pass out over there instead of going home. There's lots of outside drinking!

Can't complain though, when I was a kid I got to go and play with my cousins every weekend for 2 days while my parents and aunts and uncles partied all night. We had fun

 

[Kean]

Randiann I think out parts of the world have a lot in common. Some of the biggest drinkers I know are 'grown ups' then again the other half are college students. We have our own version of moonshine...Poteen...keeps you drunk for weeks...literally😀