Thought for the Day: Think about how what you say makes the other person feel.

[Buffy Summers]

Each day this week, one of the mods will post a little something to think about - a tip or just something to remember that should help us all be a little nicer to each other out there.

So for Monday, I'd like everyone to try and put themselves in the other person's shoes before making a snarky remark, or calling their opinion stupid, or in any other way posting negatively towards another person.

Yes, this is the internet. Most of us really don't know each other in real life. But that doesn't mean that the things you say to someone else on the internet don't hurt their feelings. Many will argue that they shouldn't: that people shouldn't care what someone sitting behind a computer says to or about them. But the fact of the matter is: people do care.

So, before you rattle off a reply in anger, in annoyance or in arrogance, take a moment to try and think about how your words are going to make the other person feel. And maybe then you won't be so quick to hit submit.

🙂

 

[Cast No Shadow]

To all those that I meet
With Kindness I will greet
With a smiling face
and a friendly trace,
I will teach them to be kind
In Soul, in Heart, and Mind.

Jessica - 11 years old.

 

[zobothehobo]

So important to remember. It's hard sometimes to remember that all of those usernames have people behind the screens.

 

[SlayerFest]

I've always been obsessed with psychology so even as a kid I'd think, "Well there's a reason why this person is acting this way." I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because you never what's going on in someone's life/head.

 

[This Year's Girl]

Can I just say again, this is such a great thing! And even though this is a really friendly place I think we could all use the reminder.

I'm studying to become a socialworker and I talked to a person who works with children that are having a hard time in school and are acting out about our profession. She said this: "whenever I don't understand what my pupil means or why she/he behaves the way she/he does I try to think it's because there's an expert I haven't consulted yet in the matter. And that expert is the pupil." I think that offers some great insight!

 

[WileyDairyGnome]

This is really great advice. I know when people try to belittle people, they don't realize how hurtful they're being to that person because it's not happening to them. I think people should always try to put themselves in other people's footsteps so they could see how they would feel in situations like the ones they create by treating people badly. I know sometimes when I make a rude remark, I always feel badly afterwards because I realize how hurtful I could have been to that person.

 

[BuffyElevated]

It's really hard sometimes to forget that these are real people we're talking to online. (Well, unless you're in a Yahoo chat room, and then you're talking to mostly bots. 😀) Real people can get their feelings hurt over words said on a screen just as much as if you said it to their face...
I try to live by the rule "If you wouldn't say or do it to their face, don't do it online." Sometimes this rule kinda flies out the window, but I do try. 🙂

 

[Buffy Summers]

And sometimes things aren't that obvious. For instance, when you make a negative comment about something someone has spent a lot of time on. There's a difference between giving constructive feedback and just being mean and negative unnecessarily.

 

[Ripper666]

So for Monday, I'd like everyone to try and put themselves in the other person's shoes before making a snarky remark, or calling their opinion stupid, or in any other way posting negatively towards another person.

Mhm I never read examples here in BB like that. No "your oppinion is stupid" and no snarkly remark. Just by the way... the moderators do a good job!! I think this is already a very kindly forum and that's still one reason why it is so great here!

The bird to its nest.
The spider to its web.
The humans to their friendship!

 

[Buffy Summers]

Well it doesn't have to apply only to BB, but everywhere on the internet.

🙂

 

[Flannen]

I think this is really important. There's that age old saying of: sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me but in reality, words can be incredibly painful. Maybe it shouldn't be that way, but it doesn't make it any less true. We've already said that it doesn't just have to be on BB that you think about this but across the whole Internet and really, even further than that - thinking about how you might make people feel with the words you say to them is important in all aspects of our lives online and off.

I always try, even when I disagree with something, starting off with something positive which inevitably helps me to keep that tone when getting further into a discussion.

 

[MandaMeena]

I just got back from my first day at work, where customer service is taken very seriously.

The thing that I really took away from today was that everyone matters. What you do matters. How you treat people matters. Being friendly, respectful, and genuine are important to inspiring and enriching humanity, on and off the net. 🙂

 

[Washburne]

Reason to why we're putting others down is a different discussion and I think it's being another thread (I've been away and I haven't catched up yet). But it's not always as simple as you're aware of what you're saying and how the other person is taking it. You could be at loss as to why anyone took something you said the way they did. Your intent or not, how people react to something you've said or done should not be taken lightly. Which of course goes both ways. If you get offended by something taking the time to get to know if you took things the way were meant or not. Sometimes we just go into defence mood and start attacking the other one.

Making mistakes, misunderstandings will happen to us all. How do we deal with it once it happen? Do we/you say things like"Get tougher" "You need thicker skin" "It's not my problem if you get upset. I'm just sharing my opinion" or do you have another approach? When you feel attacked on your opinion it's not easy staying calm but one can at least try.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion. Although the way you share your opinion can differ a lot. You can do it without insulting others or trying to put them down.

I've got a scolding from the staff for saying insensitive things. I meant it "just" as a funny remark. Not the way it got recieved, let me tell you. We talked about it. She forgave me although I'm not really sure it was 100% at the time. Now I see her as an internet friend and I hope she feel the same.