They both involved physical, bodily violations and should, therefore, be used consideratedly.
I especially think that the attempted rape was done completely wrong, because it was never about Buffy, it was about Spike- even the writers have stated this. The fact that Buffy took very little time to get over it, and that Spike is never really called to account for this is really, very irritating even if you don't happen to be a feminist.
Spike isn't called to account because he's gone by the time anyone is available to call him to account. He's a soulless vampire that has committed atrocities for a hundred plus years. The scoobies feel no need to stake him before because they don't believe he's a threat. After the incident he gets a soul so the guy who attempted to rape Buffy is no longer around to face the music. Much like Hyena Xander.
Except that in both these instances the issues at hand were real world issues that effect the men and women watching and reading the show. The rape storyline is appalling because it actually supported rape culture. Any story in this day and age that deals with rape should be about tearing down rape culture. The abortion storyline is appalling because Whedon literally used a very real and sensitive issue to grand stand about his own politics. Buffy was never even pregnant, that tells us in the most plain way possible that it was never about Buffy or the issue, it was just about Joss Whedon being about to say he was pro-choice. That's BS storytelling.
I don't see how the rape storyline supports rape culture but I'm absolutely no expert on the subject. It shows a soulless vampire being evil, as you'd expect. It shows Buffy fighting him off, which is a good thing. Then the soulless vampire disappears which is also a good thing, one less evil in the verse.