To what extent do you like the destructive part

Z

zobothehobo

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I had a revelation on the bus today. I was listening to Love the Way You Lie and I started almost crying when I heard the rap of part 2... I realized that while I don't personally want that kind of relationship and would probably like Spuffy less if season 7 didn't exist... But the mutually destructive relationship is something I actually really like. I find the story of a couple that beats each other physically and emotionally but still loves each other and stays with each other really compelling. I don't know why... it just feels really really powerful to me. So I would so I really love the destructive nature of season 6. But I've seen a lot of people on here who it looks like don't. So how do you feel about it?
 
I find it fairly fascinating. They were two deeply damaged people at that time. Buffy had major issues with being brought back and Spike was going through a complete change of who he was. Either of those situations puts a lot of strain on a person, and it was bound to come out somehow. So they ended up taking it out on each other.

Plus it showed a lot of things about who they were and how low they had gotten. Particularly in the scene in the alley in Dead Things. Buffy wails on him and he just takes it. The depth of Buffy's emotions there much have been more than she could handle, and Spike knew that and let her. Neither of these actions is healthy, but, in my mind, understandable and tragic.

And then, they both manage to rise from that. Buffy stops becoming abusive and Spike stops taking it. If all the things in season 6 hadn't happened between them, then the gravity of their relationship in season seven wouldn't have been anywhere near as impressive.

And since they could both come back from that, it sort of gives hope that people can rise above actions that they made in the past and still become decent and even good people.
 
H
hazzard
[No message]
Destructive relationships are horrible. People shouldn't be in them. BUT they do make for great story telling. I find them fascinating and oddly romantic and I love Spuffy, especially the destructiveness of it. But I wouldn't want to see any of my friends in a relationship like that, or like the one in Love the Way You Lie.
 
I liked it for its brutal realism, especially compared to Bangel playing the lie straight. The dysfunctionality of a 'ship built on raw romantic emotion, the mutual abuse, and the culmination in the (almost Old Grecian) tragedy of the bathroom scene, S6 Spuffy had it all spot on. That's what you get for dabbling in romance.

The real reason I love Spuffy is the contrast between S6 and 7 though, the message of responsibility, maturation, and forgiveness it sends out. If Spike hadn't gone to get his soul (or, for that matter, if Buffy had played the hypocritical role of self-righteous victim for the rest of the show), there definitely would be one less Spuffy shipper here. 😉
 
Gum Gnome33
Gum Gnome33
Totally agree with this, especially with the last paragraph
K
kittenpoker
exactly this!
I think there is something so intriguing about the passionate fire that is right on that line between love and hate. It's compelling....but yes, makes a better story than real life.
 
I enjoy the destructiveness to a point--but only because of the circumstances surrounding it, and the composition of the 2 characters. I would never enjoy watching a season of a destructive physical relationship between two humans; it's because he's a vampire and she's the slayer--they are more or less of equal strength--that I can get over that and enjoy everything else that is going on. Like the fact that I think they needed to tear each other down before they could each get to a better place.

It was fascinating to watch two beings who had both died and were trying to live again, in one way or another, find comfort in each other. The fact that it manifested itself in this way made perfect sense considering who they were.

Season 6 was a turning point for each character, mostly because of the nature of this relationship. It led to love, which is arguably the best part, but it also made each character the best, (in my opinion) that they could be, later on. So to that extent, I do enjoy the destructiveness.
 
C
caritas08
[No message]
I normally don't like to watch destructive relationships, particularly physically abusive ones, because the main perpetrator of the abuse is often too cruel to sympathize with while the victim too pathetic.

Season 6 Spuffy is different, however, and interesting to me, because, while I do see Buffy as the main perpetrator and Spike as the victim (mostly) it is so much more complex than that. It is interesting to see how a person as good as Buffy could be guilty of taking advantage of someone's feelings like that simply because he is "beneath" her and she has been through so much. Buffy normally doesn't treat the people in her life like that which is part of what makes the abuse so interesting. It is also interesting to see how Spike encourages her use of him because of his love for her and desire for her to be like him/him to be like her (I never can really tell which).

So, in short, I do like the destructive part of Spuffy (though I'm glad it didn't stay that way) but normally I don't enjoy seeing it in works of fiction mostly because I need to sympathize with both parties in order to care.
 
I find it an interesting facet to their relationship, but it isn't the only reason I love it. I love the chemistry, the way it transformed Spike into a better person and the way it slowly developed on the show.
 
personally, the mutually destructive nature of their relationship is what fascinates me about it and what spoke to me. having myself been in a pretty dysfunctional relationship for about 6 years, spike/buffy always shot me right in the heart/chest. they have an extremely intense emotional and physical connection that is first expressed through violence and abuse...but once they evolve into something more healthy in season 7, i think they're an extremely strong couple and probably deeper than angel and buffy ever were or could be. i think it's because of that initial violent intensity.
 
Z
zobothehobo
Exactly! This! All of it! This is how I feel! Exactly!
I had a revelation on the bus today. I was listening to Love the Way You Lie and I started almost crying when I heard the rap of part 2... I realized that while I don't personally want that kind of relationship and would probably like Spuffy less if season 7 didn't exist... But the mutually destructive relationship is something I actually really like. I find the story of a couple that beats each other physically and emotionally but still loves each other and stays with each other really compelling. I don't know why... it just feels really really powerful to me. So I would so I really love the destructive nature of season 6. But I've seen a lot of people on here who it looks like don't. So how do you feel about it?
Click to expand...

I agree that Buffy and Spike's relationship in Season 6 is really compelling. Why do you think some fans spend so much energy bashing our ship? Because it's disturbing to them. Spike and Buffy do not follow the rules. Some fans can't understand why we would ship a couple they see as so dysfunctional. Sometimes I wonder myself. BUT where they see dysfunction, we see something very powerful liek you said; a couple who have been through everything, who have seen the best and worst of each other, and who have come full-circle to a place of love and respect and affection. You can't say that about many couples. Our ship started as enemies and ended in love. Sometimes you have to walk through the dark to get to the light.

I think you've hit the "nail on the head", so to speak; it is powerful. And intriguing. And dangerous.

I tend to be attracted to the "dysfunctional" couples. For instance, has anyone seen Six Feet Under? I'm currently watching it on DVD, and there's a one-again-off-again couple, Brenda and Nate, that I love. They're completely dysfunctional, terrible together, treat each other like crap, and yet....they're a connection there. They can't let each other go, and no one else seems to satisfy them. They keep coming back to each other. I think they're fascinating and remind me much of Spuffy.
Another ship I really like is Kimber and Christian from Nip/Tuck. They pretty much define dysfunctional, yet are totally crazy about eachother, and again, no one else seems to compare to what they had together.

Anyhow, I guess what I'm saying is that it is always the relationships that have a lot of drama and strife that are more interesting.
 
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