Tv Bs

[nerd4hire]

Of course it's taken for granted TV reality has little to do with real world reality, but I find it amusing to isolate the little pieces of BS TV people want us to believe, and study them.

I've collected a few examples. Feel free to add to the list.


1. The worst screwup character in the program suddenly has access to all the secrets of life the moment she/he becomes the narrator - (Desperate Housewifes, Grey's Anatomy.)

2. Ignore what you thought you knew about geeks. The smartest member of any nerd herd, or the most able expert in any field is 25 to 30 years old and gorgeous. - (Threshold. Surface. Bones.)

3. In a family unit the only member who understands the true implications of any given situation, or has the knowledge and experience to act upon them is the kid. (Malcolm in the Middle. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Dawson's Creek.)

4. A woman who's taken martial arts lessons can kick the crap out of any man, any size in about 3 seconds, irregardless of whether or not the much larger, and more powerful man has had similar training. (Bones, Alias).

7. True power can only be obtained in a social setting through dishonesty and bad behaviour (eg. any reality game show). The only priority that matters is the acquiring of "stuff". Oh and speaking of Survivor here's another piece of BS - Folger's coffee is delicious. C'mon It tastes like mud.

8. Being constantly reinformed of any of the following facts is funny, and will make you laugh - Kirstie Alley is fat. Clay Aiken is gay. George Bush is stupid. Michael Jackson is a child molester. Monica Lewinski has performed oral sex. (eg. any late night talk show.)

9. Any crime can be solved at any time by muttering the magic word DNA. Any encrypted computer file can be decrypted at any time by crime fighting computer experts through a short series of key strokes. All forensic units have such an expert working for them. Any blurred image will instantly focus into crystal clear view if an expert presses the right buttton. Holgraphic technology is a simple, efficient, commonly used crime fighting tool. Forensic experts work in the field like ordinary cops. They're all gorgeous, and wear sweet, stylish, expensive attire. Only the supporting members of a forensic unit wear lab coats.

10. Native people have one purpose in life. They all possess a special inner wisdom, and connection to nature. They spend their lives walking about mumbling about the spirit of the bear, or the Great Father, or such stuff. Interesting though; they have this special insight and intelligence, yet apparently they're not smart enough to play themselves, and should be impersonated by latinos, or blue-eyed actors in black wigs and mud coloured makeup whenever possible.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

11. A police officer will perfectly identify a person, group, car or anything else from CCTV, no matter how grainy the picture is. This also leads to same copper having a detailed history of said person as well as every other 'crim' that they meet.

 

[buffetofsporks]

12. Every mom is a hot mom. (Desperate Housewives)

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

13. The 'stud' of the show will have an IQ score of single figures, but be sensitive with a heart of gold(Friends, Cheers)

14. If you are a gay man you WILL be a screaming camp queen, who fancies anything with a penis and scream 'Oh My God' at the most mundane things, while keeping a sense of vanity.(Will and Grace, Ellen)

15. You live in one of the most culturally and lifestylistic diverse cities on the planet, but have little contact with other ethnicites or homosexuals(unless you 'become' one-Ellen)(Friends, Mad About You, Ellen)

 

[Xander]

16. You won't understand a sarcastic comment if it is about you, but if its about someone else you will and laugh at the person its aimed at. (Friends)

This seems like it should be a TV Squad post btw.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

17. If you are a fat man, you are the 'funny guy', if you are a fat woman, you are funny, but a sexual predator to boot.(Lost, Less than Perfect)

 

[Wicked]

i thought you were talking about claude there, then i realised you meant ramona 😀

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

18. No matter how little(if any) training you have with a fire arm, if you arrive in a situation with a gun, you will shoot and kill the bad guy with a perfectly placed bullet through the heart or head.(Most Cop shows/movies where the suspect IS innocent)

19.Which leads onto, no matter the size of the force, the suspect will gather the evidence to save himself, while the police still pursue him......except the plucky young officer who believes you, but is considered too young and naive to have an opinion(regardless of the amount of training).

 

[VisionGuy]

20.) There's always a hot woman married to a less attractive sometimes overweight man. (King of Queens, According to Jim, George Lopez)

21.) The popular bitchy girl at the high school always has some hidden depts and feels lonely even though she is sorrounded by friends.(Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sabrina the Teenage Witch)

 

[FahrbotDrusilla]

4. A woman who's taken martial arts lessons can kick the crap out of any man, any size in about 3 seconds, irregardless of whether or not the much larger, and more powerful man has had similar training. (Bones, Alias).

when I told my friend that she knew martial arts she said she'd never watch Bones.