Vent! #2

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I found out today I have to get surgery, and of course it will be on my birthday. Happy feckin birthday.
 
I never feel refreshed when I sleep its like I'm on one big yawn barely awake thing.
 
All of my friends have time to spend today christmas shopping, but I can't go because I have so much coursework to do. It's not fair, why do my stupid teachers give me it before christmas? They can't wait 'til January? Plus I have a drama exam in the morning, and I have to rehearse like mad. We have to get recorded, and I'm not too confident about it, because I've never, ever acted infront of a camera before.
 
Stupid crappy weather ! I am still soaking wet.
Plus i'm banned from the internet ;D
 
I swear, I've never felt such seething hate as I do right now. My ex and some of my friends went to town today and I was supposed to be going but I stayed at home because I had work today. I was pretty upset, but then my ex started going on at me about how great it was, he actually said 'it was really great without you'. I got upset so he started having a go at me. Since then he's said I have no friends, claiming things my friends have said. He says my best friend likes him better than she likes me, and I'm truly starting to believe him. I said no-one knows who I really am, and he said he did that I'm a sh*t stirrer, and everyone goes on about how I've changed and no-one likes me anymore. It all sounds so true, and real, and it hurts, it really really hurts.
 
I have no idea honestly how I am going to have enough time to finish my final papers. I have tech rehearsal for the show I'm next weekend all day today and tomorrow, and my three papers are due on Wednesday. AHHHHH!!!!!!
 
I am totally stressing about the holidays. I have yet to get a single gift for anyone. I am so behind. I really need to get moving but I am so enthralled with Buffy right now I dont want to do anything else.
 
I'm irritated because I probably won't be able to afford the DSi I want to get for my boyfriend for Christmas/our anniversary. 🙁
 
My rich fashion designer friend is getting me something "fashionable and fabulous" for Christmas. How am I supposed to get something even HALF as good? I'm going to feel like a loser. Why can't he just get me something small? D:
 
Although I think the drama exam ran smoothly, without too many bumps in the road; I'm still really nervous about how I did - I want to do well in drama, and I'm afraid I won't.
 
People complaining about how their life sucks totally pisses me off. If you don't like your life, it's most likely (not including people victims of poverty, abuse, etc) your own fault and you can change it. It's not easy, but you can do it. So stop complaining and DO something about it! *shakes fist*
 
I'm suppose to be getting a phone for Christmas, and my mom only gets two more paychecks. She keeps putting the damn thing off. -_-
 
I'm not sure if I'm upset or not. On the one hand, I'm happy I finally know, but on the other, I'm really upset with what he said...

I'm sure a lot of you know I've had a huge crush on this boy in most of my classes for about two years, and one of my friends asked if he could ask him out for me, whereas I wanted to say no, because if I was going to ask him myself I'd have preffered to do it myself, I said yes. So, he got another one of his friends, who was close with the boy I liked to ask him, and he said he wouldn't even consider it. I don't care that he said no, that's not the problem; I just think that's really harsh. I'm glad I finally know, and now he's said that I find him to be a bit of an ass, so I don't like him anymore, but I'm still a little upset.
 
Lordy, I've had the worst day.
It started out great, weather was terrible so school was cancelled. I hung out on the computer talking to my friends and it came up that two of my closest friends have been drinking (underage I might add). I was really worried because the both drive and nobody had any idea how they got home. When I confronted them about it, they both got very defensive, said that "everybody did it" and that if the got brain damage it was their fault, not mine so I should bugger off. They'v never acted like this towards me before. I was very close to the one girl before but lately the two of them started hanging out with these (supposably ex) crackheads and they've gotten super close.
I now have a splitting headache. I get them when there are weather changes and we've got another snowstorm coming. OWWWWW.
 
Last week, my ex introduced me to this guy. I don't really go for that sorta thing, blind dates or anything. But I reluctantly decided to try it. So I met him, and decided that we weren't each others types.
Oh, and another thing. He's a TwiGay. He loves Twilight. (Team Edward. :-|)
So I decided that I wasn't going to try to be with him, but he asked me to set him up with a friend of mine. I'm a nice guy, so I decided to try it.
So he's been asking me all week if I found anyone. We didn't speak much yesterday or today. So today, I told him I'd found someone. I get a text back saying, "Don't text my man. Back off."
"Oh, please. That ain't no man. He likes Twilight." And I left it there.
I can't believe TwiGay (that's how I refer to him to my friends. Not discriminate, just makes it easier to converse with my friends if we have nicknames). I'm trying to help him out and he doesn't have the decency to tell me he's with someone. Gosh, I hate high school sometimes.
 
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