M
M-a-r-c
Guest
Hey.
This is my first post in the fan fiction section, and this is the first ever Angel fan fiction I've written (well...particially) Enjoy...
Angel 6.07 "Spangelicious"
Written by Allycat and Marc
TEASER
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
A wide shot shows the main entrance of the bar and its neon
red sign reading "Average Joe's" above the main entrance. All
is dark outside, but the sign illuminates the empty street. A
quiet chatter can be heard and a Cher song playing loudly.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
A large group of men are dancing around and singing along to
the music. HALEY is crying at the bar and raises her hand to
the BARMAN. This is instantly recognised by the Barman as a
sign of a drink and slides a shot across the bar of which is
downed instantly by Haley. Haley turns and from a POV shot we
see two guys kissing as the large group, who were cheering
previously, woo in excitement. A close-up sees Haley smile
but the smile is almost instantly changed to a curious look
of interest as a shout can be heard from the MANAGER's
office, behind the bar.
MANAGER (O.S.)
I refuse!
CUT TO:
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The Manager is sitting at his desk with his feet casually up
on his desk. The room is dark, the only light being that of a
table lamp on the Manager's desk. A HOODED FIGURE can barely
be seen concealed by the shadows.
MANAGER
I certainly am not planning on
closing this goldmine of a bar for
the measly portion of cash your
offering, honey.
The hooded figure steps forward.
HOODED FIGURE
Your refusal to comply with our
generous offer will result in sever
consequences.
The hooded figure turns and leaves.
MANAGER
How rude.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Later that night, the bar's at closing time and Barman is
locking the door to the bar when he hears a mysterious noise.
He continues to lock up speedily putting away the keys and
pacing of towards the bus stop. But when he turns from the
entrance he is facing a HOODED FIGURE, who without hesitation
stabs him repeatedly in the stomach with a blade. The figure
calls out in a native tongue and two more hooded figures
approach with blades and savagely slash the Barman to a
bloody mess on the ground outside Average Joe's
CUT TO:
OPENING CREDITS (click here to watch)
David Boreanaz
J. August Richards
Julia Lee
Adam Baldwin
Jenny Mollen
and James Marsters
Guest Starring: Ziyi Zhang
CUT TO:
ACT I
INT. WHITE ROOM - DAY
Hamilton is sitting in tanning bed, and humming a tune from a
Cher song (the same song playing in the bar previously) Angel
enters and stops walking, staring in shock at Hamilton. A
long moment passes until Hamilton finally realises he is
being watched. Hamilton immediately jumps out of the tanning
bed and walks towards his sofa. He sits down nervously and
there is another drawn out awkward silence and neither know
what to say. Finally:
HAMILTON
A guys gotta keep his bronze
somehow. Especially now I'm never
in sunlight anymore. Being trapped
in this white room and all"¦
There is another awkward silence. Angel still with his gob
smacked expression on his face he has had since he entered.
HAMILTON (CONT'D)
Come on! You can't go out into the
sun either! Don't tell me you've
never"¦
Angel interrupts
ANGEL
I've never.
There is yet another awkward silence.
ANGEL (CONT'D)
You can conjure anything in here
right? And you chose... a tanning
bed?
Hamilton stands up apparently insulted.
HAMILTON
(Sighs.)
Anyway, onto more serious matters.
You're all a big might hero, so go
do big mighty hero stuff. There has
been word from the Powers. You will
be needed in Average Joe's bar... a
gay bar... as there are some bronze
tanned men that need helping.
ANGEL
You're not serious. Are you?
HAMILTON
I most certainly am. Enjoy.
Angel stands as dumb founded, as he was when he entered to
see Hamilton in the tanning bed. Hamilton returns to the
tanning bed and before closing smiles at Angel. The tanning
bed closes.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
Police tape covers the main entrance and a forensic tent is
set up near the crime scene. Spike and Angel approach the
main entrance.
SPIKE
There was a lot of blood. I mean A
LOT. I can still taste it clearly
in the air.
Angel bends down to see the blood, and examines the way in
which is wide spread blotches of blood around the whole main
entrance.
ANGEL
This wasn't just a murder. This was
a massacre. Look at the blood, its
everywhere.
SPIKE
Looks like we got ourselves a good
old case of stabbing. So why are we
here again?
Angel gets up from the ground and stares at the agitated
Spike like a parent would to calm down an angry child.
ANGEL
Hamilton said the Powers need us
here. He also mentioned some other
deaths of existing members.
SPIKE
And by, members you mean
homosexuals?
ANGEL
Well... yes.
SPIKE
So are you thinking what I'm
thinking?
Angel walks off in the opposite direction.
ANGEL
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING Spike?
Spike runs to catch up.
SPIKE
Well, my thought is its obviously
some homophobic demon. Hell bent on
eliminating all gays in the...
Angel interrupts.
ANGEL
No. I was not thinking what you
were thinking. We're going to need
to return here tomorrow. The sign
over there says it's going to be
open for business again tomorrow.
Maybe we can do some recon inside
the bar. Find out about the other
deaths. And about the guy that was
murdered.
Spike looks uncomfortable. They both walk away down an alley
returning to Angel Investigations.
SPIKE
You mean we have to go inside!?
Angel merely walks on in silence as Spike follows kicking a
can down the alley, apparently unhappy about having to
infiltrate Average Joe's.
CUT TO:
INT. ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - DAY
Gunn and Anne are tidying up Anne's office. A pan hot shows
the large extent of the mess in the room.
ANNE
Thanks for helping me clean up all
this. I've been so busy recently.
GUNN
Haven't we all?
ANNE
Yeah. I just never knew there were
so many people that needed helping.
I mean I knew there were a lot, but
I didn't know there were a million.
Anne laughs and points at the mass of paperwork on her desk.
Gunn smiles in reply and then looks in her eyes, his
expression turns serious as does hers, and they have a moment
of romantic eye contact. Anne then drops a box she was
holding breaking the trance then were in. She laughs again.
ANNE (CONT'D)
I think making even more mess may
be reason I'm not so good at
cleaning.
Gunn moves forward and helps her put the papers and files
back into the box. They both reach for the same file and
touch hands. Again they gaze into each other's eyes, caught
in a trance. They both let go of the file simultaneously and
for a kiss but just as they are about to Nina knocks on the
door of the office.
NINA
Have you guys seen Angel?
Both Anne and Gunn let go of each other and look at Nina and
smile nervously.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
The screen is black.
ANGEL (O.S.)
Spike, prepare yourself for the
worst. This could get nasty.
SPIKE (O.S.)
Angel, I don't think I've ever been
this scared before.
POV shot of main entrance doors opening as Angel and Spike
enter Average Joe's bar. Both Angel and Spike look around
nervously at the partying guys on the dance floor and the
empty bar. They immediately hasten towards the bar.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
Two of the strongest drink you can
find.
Angel nods to the Barman who looked to Angel for his
approval. The Barmen leaves to the back for a few
uncomfortable seconds where Angel and Spike barely move. On
his return he gives them both a bottle of mysterious liquid.
BARMAN
You two newbees?
Spike and Angel look at each other for answers. Angel leans
forward.
ANGEL
Well we're not new to the whole you
know gay thing, but we haven't been
to this bar before. We're a little
uncomfortable.
Spike stares at Angel.
SPIKE
Bollocks to this.
And he moves off towards an empty table to sit alone. Angel
looks at the Barman who is staring back at him at a loss of
what to say.
ANGEL
We're a lot uncomfortable.
Angel laughs nervously. The Barman seems to be interested as
he pulls up a stool from behind the bar and sits down
opposite Angel, so they are either side of the Bar.
BARMAN
Well I am also a little
uncomfortable; I'm new to this club
as well. We've got something in
common already. By the way I'm
Dimitri.
Dimitri holds out his hand as if wanting it to be kissed.
Angel's eyes widens as he realises what just happened.
He turns around to Spike for help but he seems to have
disappeared from his table where he was before. Angel turns
back and decides to shake hands.
ANGEL
I'm Angel. Nice to meet you
Dimitri.
FADE TO BLACK.
ACT II
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Dimitri looks insulted by the lack of the kiss but smiles
appreciatively and stays for a longer conversation. Angel
realizes he's in for a long chat but decides to make the most
of his new friend and hunt for information.
ANGEL
So"¦ I heard that there was an
incident here the other day
involving a member of staff.
DIMITRI
There surely was. That's why I'm
here. The last barman got horribly
attacked. It was awful. Right
outside the front of the club as
well.
ANGEL
And your not bothered taking this
job, when the last guy got killed?
Angel leans forward angrily like he would normally during an
interrogation of someone with information. Dimitri looks
slightly aghast at this, and Angel sits backwards casually as
if he's never done anything. Dimitri leans in like Angel just
did but he is more flirtatious than angry like Angel. Seeing
how horrified Angel looks, Dimitri moves back casually just
as Angel did.
DIMITRI
Well honey, the amount they're
paying me: its worth the risk.
Seriously, the money in this
business is remarkable.
ANGEL
And what business would that be
exactly?
Dimitri looks at Angel entirely confused
DIMITRI
What the devil do you mean?
ANGEL
Come of it Dimitri. We're friends
right? You can tell me what's
really going on here. Don't worry
about it if it sounds weird; just
tell me what you can.
DIMITRI
I'll tell you everything I know on
one condition...
Dimitri leans in as before.
DIMITRI (CONT'D)
Just give a little kiss.
Angel steps up out his seat. And steps back into Spike, who
spills his drink.
SPIKE
Bloody hell!
Spike looks angrily at Angel. Seeing Spike makes Angel
remember the cover story.
ANGEL
Well I'm sorry, I can't kiss you,
as this is my partner.
Angel puts his arm around Spike's waist. Spike seems to have
frozen in his position, apparently frozen with fright.
DIMITRI
That's a shame. But at least
someone should get some action
tonight. Why don't you two kiss and
make up?
Angel and Spike look at each other, embarrassed and feel the
eyes of all the people in the bar on them. Their expression
simultaneously turn from embarrassment to sheer horror when
they realize what they have to do to keep their act up. Spike
leans in to Angel
SPIKE
(Whispering)
We're not actually gonna...
Angel misjudges the lean in for the initiation of the of a
kiss, so leans in himself and for a brief moment Angel and
Spikes lips are locked. Spike pulls away.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
Bloody hell!
Spike spits on the ground and then paces of. Angel looks up
at Dimitri realizing he's been looking at the ground for a
very long time.
DIMITRI
I guess he wasn't ready to make up.
ANGEL
Anyway, tell me more about the
Barman before you.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Spike storms out the back entrance of Average Joe's into the
dark alleyway. He hears a woman scream.
WOMAN
Oh my god! Get the hell off me!
HELP!
Spike follows the screams and finds a group of hooded figures
dragging a woman into a dark crevice.
SPIKE
Oi!
Spike lunges forward into the fray and pulls off all the
manic hooded figures off the defenceless woman.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
(Punching one of them in
the face)
That's for making me come to a gay
bar!
Spike picks up another one of the hooded figures and throws
it at another.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
That's again for making me come to
a gay bar!
Spike grabs the only hooded figure left who hasn't run away
and puts his head in the open skip.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
And this is for making me kiss
Angel!
Spike slams shut the lid of the skip cutting off the hooded
figures head like a guillotine. Spike continues to spit on
the ground, gagging almost at just the thought of kissing
Angel.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
BLOODY HELL!
Spike punches the wall in frustration.
WOMAN
Excuse me, kind sir.
Spike's attention is immediately drawn to the woman he just
saved.
SPIKE
Hello there. And you might be?
WOMAN
I'm Jacqueline.
SPIKE
Well, I'm Spike. You mind telling
me what was going on back here?
Jacqueline walks back towards the bar.
JACQUELINE
Maybe another time. But thanks for
saving...
Spike runs up and grabs her by the shoulders.
SPIKE
Now miss. I just saved your ass
back there. A little help would be
nice in finding who those-
Jacqueline grabs Spike by the shoulders and they kiss.
JACQUELINE
How is that for appreciation?
SPIKE
(Smiling.)
It'll do.
Jacqueline backs away.
JACQUELINE
I don't normally kiss vampires but
that was something different. You
were full of purity... you're a
virgin, no?
SPIKE
That'd be the soul.
JACQUELINE
I knew you would come. Help the
helpless. That's what you do.
This may seem small but it all
leads up to the big finish. You
need to stop them.
SPIKE
Stop the hooded guys?
JACQUELINE
The Raspinatza clan.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT.
Spike and Jacqueline walk into the bar, towards Angel who is
still chatting to Dimitri.
SPIKE
Can I interrupt?
Spike shoots Dimitri an evil stare. Then he drags Angel along
to a separate table, where the three of them sit down.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
Angel, the murders they were..
ANGEL
I know, the Raspinatza clan.
Spike's face drops.
SPIKE
How did you?
ANGEL
I was doing my research. Dimitri
was quite a help. They've been
killing employees in a hope of
getting the Manager to give in to
their demands. The Manager doesn't
seem to care. He heard all of this
from one conversation between a
hooded figure and the Manager. Who
else would it be apart from the
thorn-in-our-side clans of L.A?
Spike's face drops even more.
SPIKE
You got better info than me. BUT I
got to make a with a real woman!
Just what the doctor ordered after
you threw yourself onto me. Have
you got no self-respect.
ANGEL
Spike. This is a gay bar. There are
no women here. Well, no real women
anyway. Unless...
Spike turns to Jacqueline who waves at Angel and Spike.
SPIKE
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
Spike sits down facing away from Jacqueline who ups and
leaves at the insult.
ANGEL
Anyway, back to business. We need
to get a meeting with this Manager.
Whatever the demands of the
Rapinatza must be, if it's so big
that the Managers doesn't mind
people being murdered, then it must
be pretty big. He's probably been
so afraid to call for help, hoping
that we'd come when the first
person died. Well, better late than
never. Lets get this done.
Angel get ups and walks over to the counter. He leaps over it
towards the Managers office. Spike gets up, leaps over the
bar, and is about to follow, but first grabs a bottle of
alcohol and downs it, before catching up to Angel in the
Manager's office.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Jacqueline walks out of the bar and struts down the centre of
the alley. Suddenly she trips, as her heel is stuck in a
roster. She gets up and crawls over to it and tries to get
her shoe out, but it's stuck. She peers down into the room
below.
CUT TO:
INT. CAVE - NIGHT
The dark room looks like a mix between cellar and cave, with
brick walls on one side, but rocks on the other. It's damp
and dark. In the middle of the room is a large oval-shaped
object of about 3 feet on a pedestal. Suddenly, it begins to
shake a little. Then there's a quiet moment and then it
shakes some more. It begins to crack a little a the top and
chips of it break off and fall down. It's obviously hollow on
the inside. Then, through one of the little holes in it, we
can see a small claw reaching out.
FADE TO BLACK.
ACT III
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT
A group of unhooded Raspinatza are holding the manager at
knife-point, while an Elder is addressing him.
RASPINATZA ELDER
We tried being reasonable and
killing only your weakling
employees. This ground has...
errr... a very practical logistical
location and would make a most
efficient base of operations for
us. It's a shame so much blood had
to be shed here.
ANGEL (O.S.)
It's not over yet.
The Raspinatza turn around and see Angel and Spike have just
entered. Angel and Spike move forward as a team, first
priority being getting the Managers to safety. They fight off
the Raspinatza foot soldier, who are pretty well armed.
Meanwhile the Manager doesn't hesitate to grab the nearest
weapon and begin beating the Raspinatza elder with it.
SPIKE
This is for making me kiss Angel.
Spike removes one clan member's head with his bare hands. The
remaining two demons manage to inflict some pretty deep cuts
to Angel and Spike, before Angel steals their blades and
stabs them with it. The Manager is still beating the
unconscious Elder with his shoe crying out in horror at what
he was doing.
ANGEL
It's okay now. They'll leave you
alone for now. And once we're done
interrogating him.
(Angel picks up the
unconscious Elder.)
We'll find a way to make them stay
out of your way forever.
CUT TO:
INT. AI LOBBY - NIGHT
Angel enters with blood stains and rips in his clothes from
the lift. The first thing he sees upon his entrance is Nina
jumping into his arms.
NINA
Angel! Are you alright?
Angel winces at her tight grip on his chest being
excruciatingly painful.
ANGEL
I'm great.
Nina lets go and takes his hand.
NINA
Cyou will get those sorted for you
don't you worry.
Nina escorts the worn out Angel to the lift.
NINA (CONT'D)
So. Rough night?
ANGEL
I kissed Spike.
Nina looks taken aback
NINA
Excuse me?
Angel sees Nina's reaction and looks at the floor,
contemplating lying.
ANGEL
Well... I...
Angel looks at Nina and by her worried expression realises
the truth would be better.
ANGEL (CONT'D)
Well, we had to save a bar from the
Rasinatza clan. A gay bar. We could
only infiltrate the bar by
pretending to be a gay couple. And
a situation arouse.
NINA
A kissing-Spike-situation?
Angel looks at the floor disappointedly.
NINA (CONT'D)
Poor baby.
Nina approaches Angel and gently kisses him on the lips.
NINA (CONT'D)
It's not like it meant anything?...
(Teasingly.)
I mean... did it?
Angel raises his eyebrows. Angel then laughs and Nina hits
him on the arm and laughs as well.
ANGEL
(Sternly.)
It didn't mean a thing. And
definitely will not be happening
again. Ever.
NINA
Well, after that ordeal I'd guess
you need to reclaim your
masculinity.
Nina smiles seductively at Angel
ANGEL
Definitely. But first, we gotta
deal with this Raspinatza elder; I
think they brought him into my
office.
Angel and Nina start off in that direction, when the second
lift's doors open and Chyou and Spike get off it.
SPIKE
And we kissed! It was bloody
horrible. He forced himself onto
me. I think I could sue him for
that. Oh my god it was in public.
People saw! Oh, bloody hell! I...
CHYOU
Hello Angel.
Chyou and Angel turn to Spike, who just stares at Angel.
SPIKE
You!
He walks off.
CHYOU
Are you okay? You look pretty beat
up.
ANGEL
I'll live... or stay undead. Hey,
is Spike gonna be... you know?
CHYOU
Is he gonna be okay?
ANGEL
He's Spike; he's never okay... but,
you know what I mean.
CHYOU
You know Spike... he just loves to
complain. Anyway, I should probably
head down to the med-bay and take a
look at him.
ANGEL
Fine, send him up to my office,
when you're done. Oh and maybe ask
Gunn too, if you see him.
CUT TO:
INT. AI CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Spike walking the hall of Angel Investigations muttering to
himself. He walks into Gunn, who is carrying boxes. The boxes
fall down, and papers from them cover the floor.
GUNN
Thanks for helping my unpack Spike,
but I really needed these papers in
my office, not on the floor.
SPIKE
Maybe these boxes shouldn't be
carried through the middle of a
hallway where some people actually
walk.
Gunn looks at Spike with a look of suspicion. Gunn crouches
down near Spike and starts collecting the papers.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
The hallway... me walking.
GUNN
That's just ridiculous. You mind
telling me, what it is that makes
you crankier than a woman in need
of chocolate?
Spike gives him a look.
GUNN (CONT'D)
Not me... the other kind of
chocolate.
SPIKE
You don't want to know.
GUNN
I do.
SPIKE
Well, then I don't want you to
then. Okay?
GUNN
Okay. You don't have to tell me
anything. But it might help to get
things off your chest.
SPIKE
I doubt that very much. In fact, I
don't think I'll telling another
soul on this planet what happened
to me. Although, maybe you could
help me with filing sexual
harassment charges.
Spike gets up, ready to leave. Anne enters the corridor.
ANNE
Hey... what were you two doing down
there? You two weren't kissing,
were you? I've heard all about
Spike and his... urges.
SPIKE
Bloody hell!
Spike storms out, furious.
GUNN
Spikes urges? I wasn't warned? What
happened?
Anne sits down near Gunn.
ANNE
I heard Spike forced Angel to go to
a gay bar and then forced himself
on him.
GUNN
What now?
NINA
I speak the truth! Well, I heard it
from Manny, but he's a trustworthy
source.
GUNN
The concierge?
NINA
Yeah. Okay, maybe not reliable but
hey. I heard what I heard.
GUNN
Well, it would certainly explain
Spike's strange behaviour.
They start collecting the papers in silence, and once again,
both of them reach out for the same paper. As their hands
touch each other, they look into each other's eyes and they
move closer to each other. They're about to kiss, when Chyou
enters the corridor. The quickly pull back.
CHYOU
Hey, have you seen Spike?
GUNN
Yup, went down there.
(He points in the other
direction.)
He's probably going to the medical
bay.
CHYOU
Good.
She walks off in the same direction. Gunn and Anne turn to
each other again, but then Chyou turns around.
CHYOU (CONT'D)
Oh and Gunn, Angel asked if you
could join him in his office.
Chyou walks off. Then Gunn sighs and gets up.
GUNN
I'm sorry, I'll help you with the
papers later.
Gunn walks off, as Anne starts collecting the paperwork.
CUT TO:
INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The Raspinatza Elder is tied to a chair and Angel and Gunn
are standing by, waiting on him to awaken. Slowly, he does.
ANGEL
Does your head hurt?
RASPINATZA ELDER
Huh? Oh... you!
(He tries to move, but
notices he's tied down.)
Figures.
ANGEL
Yeah, kinda does... doesn't it. I
would have figured you Raspinatza
to be a little smarter; I would
have thought that by now, you'd
have understood that killing people
on my watch... not a good idea.
RASPINATZA ELDER
Messing with a Raspinatza Elder...
not a good idea either. The rest of
my clan will come and rescue me and-
ANGEL
Rescue you? From my headquarters?
The must be even more stupid, then
I had expected them to be.
RASPINATZA ELDER
-And if you hurt me... they will
avenge me.
ANGEL
And risk me getting angry with
them? I'll take the chance.
Angel punches the Elder.
ANGEL (CONT'D)
So, talk... why do you want that
bar?
RASPINATZA ELDER
Its location is very convenient.
Has access to a lot of good routes.
Angel hits him again.
ANGEL
Don't tell me you think that
convinces me... try again.
RASPINATZA ELDER
I was just kidding. We want to take
over the establishment, because we
think we can serve the clientèle
better than the current proprietor.
Angel punches him again.
GUNN
I don't think he's gonna tell.
ANGEL
Maybe if I just removed a limb or
two.
SPIKE (O.S.)
That won't be necessary.
Angel, Gunn, and the Raspinatza Elder look up at Spike, who
has just entered. Jacqueline is following him.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
I suggest you may remove his limbs
all the same.
ANGEL
Spike?... and I see you brought
your friend? What is she doing
here? Or what is he-...
(To Jacqueline.)
No offence, I'm new to this, so I
don't know what to call you.
JACQUELINE
How many he's do you know, have
long blonde hair, wear many skirts,
and have cup C?
ANGEL
Good point.
(To Spike.)
What is she doing here?
SPIKE
She came to tell us why the
Raspinatza want.
Spike gestures for her to take the floor.
JACQUELINE
Well, after I left, I was walking
the street and my shoe got stuck-
FADE TO:
ACT IV
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Spike, Angel, and Jacqueline walk into the bar. Angel is
carrying a bag. Spike is pushing along the tied-up Raspinatza
Elder, whose hood is covering his face. Angel walks over to
Dimitri and whispers something to him. Dimitri goes into the
manager's office. Shortly after, Dimitri and the Manager come
out. Dimitri opens the front doors wide, while the Manager
goes over to the DJ and orders him to stop the music. He
takes over the microphone.
MANAGER
Excuse me everyone. We've been
ordered by... errr... the fire
department to close down, because
of a potentially dangerous
situation. Could you all please
leave the premisses as soon as
possible, but in an orderly
fashion, so that they may do the
necessary tests.
Then the Manager walks over to Angel, as the visitors are
shuffling out.
ANGEL
You did good! Now, let's go
downstairs.
MANAGER
No way, if what your saying is
true, I'm not going down there.
(He hands Angel over the
keys.)
Have fun!
He runs off.
ANGEL
Now how are we going to find our
way here.
DIMITRI
You know, I could maybe show you.
He winks at Angel. Angel gulps, then Spike pats him on the
shoulder.
SPIKE
That's such a great idea.
Angel sighs, while Spike gestures Dimitri to lead the way.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BASEMENT - NIGHT
Angel, Dimitri, Spike, Jacqueline, and the Raspinatza Elder
are carefully walking through the dimly-lit basement, which
is filled with all kinds of seasonal decorations not needed
in the bar at that moment. Angel stops and listens intently.
ANGEL
I can hear something.
The others are quiet.
SPIKE
Yeah, sounds like something's
scrapping against the walls.
Angel walks over to the nearest-by wall and puts his ear to
it to listen. Then he moves along the wall until he suddenly
stops.
ANGEL
It's on the other side of this
wall.
SPIKE
How are we going to get through it.
Angel looks around him and notices a wardrobe a couple of
feet away from him, against that same wall. He walks over and
tries to open it, but it's locked. He pulls it hard and the
chain that's locking it breaks. He proceeds to take all kinds
of extravagant outfits out of it. Then he reaches out into it
and pulls something. He lets go and looks disappointed, then
he kicks against something inside of the wardrobe very hard.
We hear a loud cracking noise. Then Angel turns around
satisfied.
ANGEL
After you, Spike.
Spike walks over and looks into the wardrobe and through the
hole in the back of it, into a sort of cave.
CUT TO:
INT. CAVE - NIGHT
Spike comes crawling out of the hole in the brick wall and
stares into the dimly-lit cave. It's rather dark and the only
light in the cave comes through the roster (in which
Jacqueline's shoe is still stuck). Spike walks over to the
egg in the middle of the room, while Angel pulls the
Raspinatza Elder through the hole and helps Jacqueline and
Dimitri through.
SPIKE
Angel... I think it kind of hatched
already!
ANGEL
What do you mean? It hatched?
Suddenly a three feet creature soars through the cave passing
right passed Angel, who ducks in time.
SPIKE
Like I said... it hatched!
Angel drops the weapon's bag and opens it. He throws an axe
to Spike, while he picks up a sword himself.
ANGEL
Be prepared for it to attack any
minute.
Jacqueline hurries over to Spike and grabs hold of him for
protection. Dimitri then does the same with Angel. Thus the
two walk around the cave.
SPIKE
Hey! That rat is getting away.
Angel turns around and sees the Raspinatza Elder trying to
crawl through the hole. He runs over, but then the creature
soars past Angel and begins attacking the Raspinatza Elder.
It keeps flapping its wings, as tries to bite the Elder.
Angel walks toward it and swings with his sword. But as he
does, the creature flies away and lets a breath of fire out
of its mouth, which puts the Elder behind on fire. Then, the
baby Dragon turns its attention to Angel. It tries to snap at
Angel, but Angel fends it off, and when it tries to put Angel
ablaze, Angel manages to duck its attacks. Suddenly, Spike
jumps at it from the side. The baby Dragon manages to evade,
but when its attention is turned to Spike, this allows Angel
to stab it. The baby Dragon tries to stay airborne, but
fails. It drops to the ground.
JACQUELINE
Was that?
ANGEL
A dragon... yeah!
JACQUELINE
(Angry.)
A baby!
ANGEL
It's not dead. I didn't stab it too
deep. Our weapons are dipped in
poison though. You cut yourself on
this blade and your average human
is gonna die three times in a row.
Spike wraps the blades of the axe and the sword up in towels,
while Angel picks up the Baby Dragon and puts it in the bag.
SPIKE
A baby Dragon, it'll keep under for
maybe a couple of hours.
JACQUELINE
What are you going to do with it?
ANGEL
We'll give it to someone who trains
them. Dragons can be the most noble
or the most vicious creatures... it
all depends on what they're taught
to do. I'm glad we caught it and
not mister barbecue here.
The Raspinatza Elder is moaning in pain. Spike walks over and
cuts loose the robes.
SPIKE
Well, run along then. Go tell your
buddies how merciful we were.
The Elder looks at Angel for confirmation. Angel just nods.
The Raspinatza Elder quickly gets away.
DIMITRI
Your going to just let him get
away?
They make way for the hole.
SPIKE
We don't have too much choice. Sure
he's a bad guy, he doesn't deserve
to live... but at the same time, if
we kill him, we're going to be
responsible for even more innocent
deaths.
Angel sighs. They start crawling through the hole.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BASEMENT - NIGHT
Angel, carrying the unconscious baby, and Spike, carrying the
weapons, are already out. Angel helps Dimitri out and Spike
helps Jacqueline out.
JACQUELINE
What I don't understand is, what's
a baby dragon doing here?
SPIKE
That's what I'd like to know. You
went up to see Hamilton, after
Jacqueline told her story, right?
ANGEL
Yeah. He told me it was Wolfram &
Hart's. They planted the egg here
in the thirties. There was a
magical charm at work that kept it
the foetus from growing, but when
we defeated them, the spell stopped
and the baby started developing. It
took this long to hatch. It emits
magical energy and the Raspinatza
probably picked up on that. That's
why they wanted the club, they
wanted to be able to help the
Dragon hatch and tame it.
DIMITRI
That's why they killed all those
people?
JACQUELINE
That's why they would've killed me.
(She moves closer to
Spike.)
If it weren't for my big hero.
She pinches Spike's ass. He jumps up. Angel laughs, but then
Dimitri does the same to him.
FADE TO:
INT. AI LOBBY - DAWN
Anne is waiting for the lift, when Gunn comes walking over.
GUNN
So, you're finally done too?
ANNE
Yeah, it's been a long night.
They look at each other and smile nervously. Then they turn
to the lift again.
GUNN
It's taking a while...
ANNE
Yeah.
They look at each other again and more nervous smiling
ensues. Then they look to the lift again. Suddenly both turn
around to each other and throw themselves into each others
arms and they start kissing passionately. Then there's a ping
and the lift's doors open. It's Angel (carrying the baby
Dragon) and Spike.
SPIKE
Well, at least one of us is still
straight.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
Next week, another episode of Angel; in 6.08 "Lies, Lies... Shock", written by BB's very own Black Eye Guy, we witness the return of Lightning Lass, Gwen Raiden, who is ready to stir up life for Gunn!
This is my first post in the fan fiction section, and this is the first ever Angel fan fiction I've written (well...particially) Enjoy...
Angel 6.07 "Spangelicious"
Written by Allycat and Marc
TEASER
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
A wide shot shows the main entrance of the bar and its neon
red sign reading "Average Joe's" above the main entrance. All
is dark outside, but the sign illuminates the empty street. A
quiet chatter can be heard and a Cher song playing loudly.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
A large group of men are dancing around and singing along to
the music. HALEY is crying at the bar and raises her hand to
the BARMAN. This is instantly recognised by the Barman as a
sign of a drink and slides a shot across the bar of which is
downed instantly by Haley. Haley turns and from a POV shot we
see two guys kissing as the large group, who were cheering
previously, woo in excitement. A close-up sees Haley smile
but the smile is almost instantly changed to a curious look
of interest as a shout can be heard from the MANAGER's
office, behind the bar.
MANAGER (O.S.)
I refuse!
CUT TO:
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The Manager is sitting at his desk with his feet casually up
on his desk. The room is dark, the only light being that of a
table lamp on the Manager's desk. A HOODED FIGURE can barely
be seen concealed by the shadows.
MANAGER
I certainly am not planning on
closing this goldmine of a bar for
the measly portion of cash your
offering, honey.
The hooded figure steps forward.
HOODED FIGURE
Your refusal to comply with our
generous offer will result in sever
consequences.
The hooded figure turns and leaves.
MANAGER
How rude.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Later that night, the bar's at closing time and Barman is
locking the door to the bar when he hears a mysterious noise.
He continues to lock up speedily putting away the keys and
pacing of towards the bus stop. But when he turns from the
entrance he is facing a HOODED FIGURE, who without hesitation
stabs him repeatedly in the stomach with a blade. The figure
calls out in a native tongue and two more hooded figures
approach with blades and savagely slash the Barman to a
bloody mess on the ground outside Average Joe's
CUT TO:
OPENING CREDITS (click here to watch)
David Boreanaz
J. August Richards
Julia Lee
Adam Baldwin
Jenny Mollen
and James Marsters
Guest Starring: Ziyi Zhang
CUT TO:
ACT I
INT. WHITE ROOM - DAY
Hamilton is sitting in tanning bed, and humming a tune from a
Cher song (the same song playing in the bar previously) Angel
enters and stops walking, staring in shock at Hamilton. A
long moment passes until Hamilton finally realises he is
being watched. Hamilton immediately jumps out of the tanning
bed and walks towards his sofa. He sits down nervously and
there is another drawn out awkward silence and neither know
what to say. Finally:
HAMILTON
A guys gotta keep his bronze
somehow. Especially now I'm never
in sunlight anymore. Being trapped
in this white room and all"¦
There is another awkward silence. Angel still with his gob
smacked expression on his face he has had since he entered.
HAMILTON (CONT'D)
Come on! You can't go out into the
sun either! Don't tell me you've
never"¦
Angel interrupts
ANGEL
I've never.
There is yet another awkward silence.
ANGEL (CONT'D)
You can conjure anything in here
right? And you chose... a tanning
bed?
Hamilton stands up apparently insulted.
HAMILTON
(Sighs.)
Anyway, onto more serious matters.
You're all a big might hero, so go
do big mighty hero stuff. There has
been word from the Powers. You will
be needed in Average Joe's bar... a
gay bar... as there are some bronze
tanned men that need helping.
ANGEL
You're not serious. Are you?
HAMILTON
I most certainly am. Enjoy.
Angel stands as dumb founded, as he was when he entered to
see Hamilton in the tanning bed. Hamilton returns to the
tanning bed and before closing smiles at Angel. The tanning
bed closes.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
Police tape covers the main entrance and a forensic tent is
set up near the crime scene. Spike and Angel approach the
main entrance.
SPIKE
There was a lot of blood. I mean A
LOT. I can still taste it clearly
in the air.
Angel bends down to see the blood, and examines the way in
which is wide spread blotches of blood around the whole main
entrance.
ANGEL
This wasn't just a murder. This was
a massacre. Look at the blood, its
everywhere.
SPIKE
Looks like we got ourselves a good
old case of stabbing. So why are we
here again?
Angel gets up from the ground and stares at the agitated
Spike like a parent would to calm down an angry child.
ANGEL
Hamilton said the Powers need us
here. He also mentioned some other
deaths of existing members.
SPIKE
And by, members you mean
homosexuals?
ANGEL
Well... yes.
SPIKE
So are you thinking what I'm
thinking?
Angel walks off in the opposite direction.
ANGEL
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING Spike?
Spike runs to catch up.
SPIKE
Well, my thought is its obviously
some homophobic demon. Hell bent on
eliminating all gays in the...
Angel interrupts.
ANGEL
No. I was not thinking what you
were thinking. We're going to need
to return here tomorrow. The sign
over there says it's going to be
open for business again tomorrow.
Maybe we can do some recon inside
the bar. Find out about the other
deaths. And about the guy that was
murdered.
Spike looks uncomfortable. They both walk away down an alley
returning to Angel Investigations.
SPIKE
You mean we have to go inside!?
Angel merely walks on in silence as Spike follows kicking a
can down the alley, apparently unhappy about having to
infiltrate Average Joe's.
CUT TO:
INT. ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - DAY
Gunn and Anne are tidying up Anne's office. A pan hot shows
the large extent of the mess in the room.
ANNE
Thanks for helping me clean up all
this. I've been so busy recently.
GUNN
Haven't we all?
ANNE
Yeah. I just never knew there were
so many people that needed helping.
I mean I knew there were a lot, but
I didn't know there were a million.
Anne laughs and points at the mass of paperwork on her desk.
Gunn smiles in reply and then looks in her eyes, his
expression turns serious as does hers, and they have a moment
of romantic eye contact. Anne then drops a box she was
holding breaking the trance then were in. She laughs again.
ANNE (CONT'D)
I think making even more mess may
be reason I'm not so good at
cleaning.
Gunn moves forward and helps her put the papers and files
back into the box. They both reach for the same file and
touch hands. Again they gaze into each other's eyes, caught
in a trance. They both let go of the file simultaneously and
for a kiss but just as they are about to Nina knocks on the
door of the office.
NINA
Have you guys seen Angel?
Both Anne and Gunn let go of each other and look at Nina and
smile nervously.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT
The screen is black.
ANGEL (O.S.)
Spike, prepare yourself for the
worst. This could get nasty.
SPIKE (O.S.)
Angel, I don't think I've ever been
this scared before.
POV shot of main entrance doors opening as Angel and Spike
enter Average Joe's bar. Both Angel and Spike look around
nervously at the partying guys on the dance floor and the
empty bar. They immediately hasten towards the bar.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
Two of the strongest drink you can
find.
Angel nods to the Barman who looked to Angel for his
approval. The Barmen leaves to the back for a few
uncomfortable seconds where Angel and Spike barely move. On
his return he gives them both a bottle of mysterious liquid.
BARMAN
You two newbees?
Spike and Angel look at each other for answers. Angel leans
forward.
ANGEL
Well we're not new to the whole you
know gay thing, but we haven't been
to this bar before. We're a little
uncomfortable.
Spike stares at Angel.
SPIKE
Bollocks to this.
And he moves off towards an empty table to sit alone. Angel
looks at the Barman who is staring back at him at a loss of
what to say.
ANGEL
We're a lot uncomfortable.
Angel laughs nervously. The Barman seems to be interested as
he pulls up a stool from behind the bar and sits down
opposite Angel, so they are either side of the Bar.
BARMAN
Well I am also a little
uncomfortable; I'm new to this club
as well. We've got something in
common already. By the way I'm
Dimitri.
Dimitri holds out his hand as if wanting it to be kissed.
Angel's eyes widens as he realises what just happened.
He turns around to Spike for help but he seems to have
disappeared from his table where he was before. Angel turns
back and decides to shake hands.
ANGEL
I'm Angel. Nice to meet you
Dimitri.
FADE TO BLACK.
ACT II
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Dimitri looks insulted by the lack of the kiss but smiles
appreciatively and stays for a longer conversation. Angel
realizes he's in for a long chat but decides to make the most
of his new friend and hunt for information.
ANGEL
So"¦ I heard that there was an
incident here the other day
involving a member of staff.
DIMITRI
There surely was. That's why I'm
here. The last barman got horribly
attacked. It was awful. Right
outside the front of the club as
well.
ANGEL
And your not bothered taking this
job, when the last guy got killed?
Angel leans forward angrily like he would normally during an
interrogation of someone with information. Dimitri looks
slightly aghast at this, and Angel sits backwards casually as
if he's never done anything. Dimitri leans in like Angel just
did but he is more flirtatious than angry like Angel. Seeing
how horrified Angel looks, Dimitri moves back casually just
as Angel did.
DIMITRI
Well honey, the amount they're
paying me: its worth the risk.
Seriously, the money in this
business is remarkable.
ANGEL
And what business would that be
exactly?
Dimitri looks at Angel entirely confused
DIMITRI
What the devil do you mean?
ANGEL
Come of it Dimitri. We're friends
right? You can tell me what's
really going on here. Don't worry
about it if it sounds weird; just
tell me what you can.
DIMITRI
I'll tell you everything I know on
one condition...
Dimitri leans in as before.
DIMITRI (CONT'D)
Just give a little kiss.
Angel steps up out his seat. And steps back into Spike, who
spills his drink.
SPIKE
Bloody hell!
Spike looks angrily at Angel. Seeing Spike makes Angel
remember the cover story.
ANGEL
Well I'm sorry, I can't kiss you,
as this is my partner.
Angel puts his arm around Spike's waist. Spike seems to have
frozen in his position, apparently frozen with fright.
DIMITRI
That's a shame. But at least
someone should get some action
tonight. Why don't you two kiss and
make up?
Angel and Spike look at each other, embarrassed and feel the
eyes of all the people in the bar on them. Their expression
simultaneously turn from embarrassment to sheer horror when
they realize what they have to do to keep their act up. Spike
leans in to Angel
SPIKE
(Whispering)
We're not actually gonna...
Angel misjudges the lean in for the initiation of the of a
kiss, so leans in himself and for a brief moment Angel and
Spikes lips are locked. Spike pulls away.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
Bloody hell!
Spike spits on the ground and then paces of. Angel looks up
at Dimitri realizing he's been looking at the ground for a
very long time.
DIMITRI
I guess he wasn't ready to make up.
ANGEL
Anyway, tell me more about the
Barman before you.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Spike storms out the back entrance of Average Joe's into the
dark alleyway. He hears a woman scream.
WOMAN
Oh my god! Get the hell off me!
HELP!
Spike follows the screams and finds a group of hooded figures
dragging a woman into a dark crevice.
SPIKE
Oi!
Spike lunges forward into the fray and pulls off all the
manic hooded figures off the defenceless woman.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
(Punching one of them in
the face)
That's for making me come to a gay
bar!
Spike picks up another one of the hooded figures and throws
it at another.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
That's again for making me come to
a gay bar!
Spike grabs the only hooded figure left who hasn't run away
and puts his head in the open skip.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
And this is for making me kiss
Angel!
Spike slams shut the lid of the skip cutting off the hooded
figures head like a guillotine. Spike continues to spit on
the ground, gagging almost at just the thought of kissing
Angel.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
BLOODY HELL!
Spike punches the wall in frustration.
WOMAN
Excuse me, kind sir.
Spike's attention is immediately drawn to the woman he just
saved.
SPIKE
Hello there. And you might be?
WOMAN
I'm Jacqueline.
SPIKE
Well, I'm Spike. You mind telling
me what was going on back here?
Jacqueline walks back towards the bar.
JACQUELINE
Maybe another time. But thanks for
saving...
Spike runs up and grabs her by the shoulders.
SPIKE
Now miss. I just saved your ass
back there. A little help would be
nice in finding who those-
Jacqueline grabs Spike by the shoulders and they kiss.
JACQUELINE
How is that for appreciation?
SPIKE
(Smiling.)
It'll do.
Jacqueline backs away.
JACQUELINE
I don't normally kiss vampires but
that was something different. You
were full of purity... you're a
virgin, no?
SPIKE
That'd be the soul.
JACQUELINE
I knew you would come. Help the
helpless. That's what you do.
This may seem small but it all
leads up to the big finish. You
need to stop them.
SPIKE
Stop the hooded guys?
JACQUELINE
The Raspinatza clan.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BAR - NIGHT.
Spike and Jacqueline walk into the bar, towards Angel who is
still chatting to Dimitri.
SPIKE
Can I interrupt?
Spike shoots Dimitri an evil stare. Then he drags Angel along
to a separate table, where the three of them sit down.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
Angel, the murders they were..
ANGEL
I know, the Raspinatza clan.
Spike's face drops.
SPIKE
How did you?
ANGEL
I was doing my research. Dimitri
was quite a help. They've been
killing employees in a hope of
getting the Manager to give in to
their demands. The Manager doesn't
seem to care. He heard all of this
from one conversation between a
hooded figure and the Manager. Who
else would it be apart from the
thorn-in-our-side clans of L.A?
Spike's face drops even more.
SPIKE
You got better info than me. BUT I
got to make a with a real woman!
Just what the doctor ordered after
you threw yourself onto me. Have
you got no self-respect.
ANGEL
Spike. This is a gay bar. There are
no women here. Well, no real women
anyway. Unless...
Spike turns to Jacqueline who waves at Angel and Spike.
SPIKE
Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
Spike sits down facing away from Jacqueline who ups and
leaves at the insult.
ANGEL
Anyway, back to business. We need
to get a meeting with this Manager.
Whatever the demands of the
Rapinatza must be, if it's so big
that the Managers doesn't mind
people being murdered, then it must
be pretty big. He's probably been
so afraid to call for help, hoping
that we'd come when the first
person died. Well, better late than
never. Lets get this done.
Angel get ups and walks over to the counter. He leaps over it
towards the Managers office. Spike gets up, leaps over the
bar, and is about to follow, but first grabs a bottle of
alcohol and downs it, before catching up to Angel in the
Manager's office.
CUT TO:
EXT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Jacqueline walks out of the bar and struts down the centre of
the alley. Suddenly she trips, as her heel is stuck in a
roster. She gets up and crawls over to it and tries to get
her shoe out, but it's stuck. She peers down into the room
below.
CUT TO:
INT. CAVE - NIGHT
The dark room looks like a mix between cellar and cave, with
brick walls on one side, but rocks on the other. It's damp
and dark. In the middle of the room is a large oval-shaped
object of about 3 feet on a pedestal. Suddenly, it begins to
shake a little. Then there's a quiet moment and then it
shakes some more. It begins to crack a little a the top and
chips of it break off and fall down. It's obviously hollow on
the inside. Then, through one of the little holes in it, we
can see a small claw reaching out.
FADE TO BLACK.
ACT III
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - NIGHT
A group of unhooded Raspinatza are holding the manager at
knife-point, while an Elder is addressing him.
RASPINATZA ELDER
We tried being reasonable and
killing only your weakling
employees. This ground has...
errr... a very practical logistical
location and would make a most
efficient base of operations for
us. It's a shame so much blood had
to be shed here.
ANGEL (O.S.)
It's not over yet.
The Raspinatza turn around and see Angel and Spike have just
entered. Angel and Spike move forward as a team, first
priority being getting the Managers to safety. They fight off
the Raspinatza foot soldier, who are pretty well armed.
Meanwhile the Manager doesn't hesitate to grab the nearest
weapon and begin beating the Raspinatza elder with it.
SPIKE
This is for making me kiss Angel.
Spike removes one clan member's head with his bare hands. The
remaining two demons manage to inflict some pretty deep cuts
to Angel and Spike, before Angel steals their blades and
stabs them with it. The Manager is still beating the
unconscious Elder with his shoe crying out in horror at what
he was doing.
ANGEL
It's okay now. They'll leave you
alone for now. And once we're done
interrogating him.
(Angel picks up the
unconscious Elder.)
We'll find a way to make them stay
out of your way forever.
CUT TO:
INT. AI LOBBY - NIGHT
Angel enters with blood stains and rips in his clothes from
the lift. The first thing he sees upon his entrance is Nina
jumping into his arms.
NINA
Angel! Are you alright?
Angel winces at her tight grip on his chest being
excruciatingly painful.
ANGEL
I'm great.
Nina lets go and takes his hand.
NINA
Cyou will get those sorted for you
don't you worry.
Nina escorts the worn out Angel to the lift.
NINA (CONT'D)
So. Rough night?
ANGEL
I kissed Spike.
Nina looks taken aback
NINA
Excuse me?
Angel sees Nina's reaction and looks at the floor,
contemplating lying.
ANGEL
Well... I...
Angel looks at Nina and by her worried expression realises
the truth would be better.
ANGEL (CONT'D)
Well, we had to save a bar from the
Rasinatza clan. A gay bar. We could
only infiltrate the bar by
pretending to be a gay couple. And
a situation arouse.
NINA
A kissing-Spike-situation?
Angel looks at the floor disappointedly.
NINA (CONT'D)
Poor baby.
Nina approaches Angel and gently kisses him on the lips.
NINA (CONT'D)
It's not like it meant anything?...
(Teasingly.)
I mean... did it?
Angel raises his eyebrows. Angel then laughs and Nina hits
him on the arm and laughs as well.
ANGEL
(Sternly.)
It didn't mean a thing. And
definitely will not be happening
again. Ever.
NINA
Well, after that ordeal I'd guess
you need to reclaim your
masculinity.
Nina smiles seductively at Angel
ANGEL
Definitely. But first, we gotta
deal with this Raspinatza elder; I
think they brought him into my
office.
Angel and Nina start off in that direction, when the second
lift's doors open and Chyou and Spike get off it.
SPIKE
And we kissed! It was bloody
horrible. He forced himself onto
me. I think I could sue him for
that. Oh my god it was in public.
People saw! Oh, bloody hell! I...
CHYOU
Hello Angel.
Chyou and Angel turn to Spike, who just stares at Angel.
SPIKE
You!
He walks off.
CHYOU
Are you okay? You look pretty beat
up.
ANGEL
I'll live... or stay undead. Hey,
is Spike gonna be... you know?
CHYOU
Is he gonna be okay?
ANGEL
He's Spike; he's never okay... but,
you know what I mean.
CHYOU
You know Spike... he just loves to
complain. Anyway, I should probably
head down to the med-bay and take a
look at him.
ANGEL
Fine, send him up to my office,
when you're done. Oh and maybe ask
Gunn too, if you see him.
CUT TO:
INT. AI CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Spike walking the hall of Angel Investigations muttering to
himself. He walks into Gunn, who is carrying boxes. The boxes
fall down, and papers from them cover the floor.
GUNN
Thanks for helping my unpack Spike,
but I really needed these papers in
my office, not on the floor.
SPIKE
Maybe these boxes shouldn't be
carried through the middle of a
hallway where some people actually
walk.
Gunn looks at Spike with a look of suspicion. Gunn crouches
down near Spike and starts collecting the papers.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
The hallway... me walking.
GUNN
That's just ridiculous. You mind
telling me, what it is that makes
you crankier than a woman in need
of chocolate?
Spike gives him a look.
GUNN (CONT'D)
Not me... the other kind of
chocolate.
SPIKE
You don't want to know.
GUNN
I do.
SPIKE
Well, then I don't want you to
then. Okay?
GUNN
Okay. You don't have to tell me
anything. But it might help to get
things off your chest.
SPIKE
I doubt that very much. In fact, I
don't think I'll telling another
soul on this planet what happened
to me. Although, maybe you could
help me with filing sexual
harassment charges.
Spike gets up, ready to leave. Anne enters the corridor.
ANNE
Hey... what were you two doing down
there? You two weren't kissing,
were you? I've heard all about
Spike and his... urges.
SPIKE
Bloody hell!
Spike storms out, furious.
GUNN
Spikes urges? I wasn't warned? What
happened?
Anne sits down near Gunn.
ANNE
I heard Spike forced Angel to go to
a gay bar and then forced himself
on him.
GUNN
What now?
NINA
I speak the truth! Well, I heard it
from Manny, but he's a trustworthy
source.
GUNN
The concierge?
NINA
Yeah. Okay, maybe not reliable but
hey. I heard what I heard.
GUNN
Well, it would certainly explain
Spike's strange behaviour.
They start collecting the papers in silence, and once again,
both of them reach out for the same paper. As their hands
touch each other, they look into each other's eyes and they
move closer to each other. They're about to kiss, when Chyou
enters the corridor. The quickly pull back.
CHYOU
Hey, have you seen Spike?
GUNN
Yup, went down there.
(He points in the other
direction.)
He's probably going to the medical
bay.
CHYOU
Good.
She walks off in the same direction. Gunn and Anne turn to
each other again, but then Chyou turns around.
CHYOU (CONT'D)
Oh and Gunn, Angel asked if you
could join him in his office.
Chyou walks off. Then Gunn sighs and gets up.
GUNN
I'm sorry, I'll help you with the
papers later.
Gunn walks off, as Anne starts collecting the paperwork.
CUT TO:
INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
The Raspinatza Elder is tied to a chair and Angel and Gunn
are standing by, waiting on him to awaken. Slowly, he does.
ANGEL
Does your head hurt?
RASPINATZA ELDER
Huh? Oh... you!
(He tries to move, but
notices he's tied down.)
Figures.
ANGEL
Yeah, kinda does... doesn't it. I
would have figured you Raspinatza
to be a little smarter; I would
have thought that by now, you'd
have understood that killing people
on my watch... not a good idea.
RASPINATZA ELDER
Messing with a Raspinatza Elder...
not a good idea either. The rest of
my clan will come and rescue me and-
ANGEL
Rescue you? From my headquarters?
The must be even more stupid, then
I had expected them to be.
RASPINATZA ELDER
-And if you hurt me... they will
avenge me.
ANGEL
And risk me getting angry with
them? I'll take the chance.
Angel punches the Elder.
ANGEL (CONT'D)
So, talk... why do you want that
bar?
RASPINATZA ELDER
Its location is very convenient.
Has access to a lot of good routes.
Angel hits him again.
ANGEL
Don't tell me you think that
convinces me... try again.
RASPINATZA ELDER
I was just kidding. We want to take
over the establishment, because we
think we can serve the clientèle
better than the current proprietor.
Angel punches him again.
GUNN
I don't think he's gonna tell.
ANGEL
Maybe if I just removed a limb or
two.
SPIKE (O.S.)
That won't be necessary.
Angel, Gunn, and the Raspinatza Elder look up at Spike, who
has just entered. Jacqueline is following him.
SPIKE (CONT'D)
I suggest you may remove his limbs
all the same.
ANGEL
Spike?... and I see you brought
your friend? What is she doing
here? Or what is he-...
(To Jacqueline.)
No offence, I'm new to this, so I
don't know what to call you.
JACQUELINE
How many he's do you know, have
long blonde hair, wear many skirts,
and have cup C?
ANGEL
Good point.
(To Spike.)
What is she doing here?
SPIKE
She came to tell us why the
Raspinatza want.
Spike gestures for her to take the floor.
JACQUELINE
Well, after I left, I was walking
the street and my shoe got stuck-
FADE TO:
ACT IV
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S - NIGHT
Spike, Angel, and Jacqueline walk into the bar. Angel is
carrying a bag. Spike is pushing along the tied-up Raspinatza
Elder, whose hood is covering his face. Angel walks over to
Dimitri and whispers something to him. Dimitri goes into the
manager's office. Shortly after, Dimitri and the Manager come
out. Dimitri opens the front doors wide, while the Manager
goes over to the DJ and orders him to stop the music. He
takes over the microphone.
MANAGER
Excuse me everyone. We've been
ordered by... errr... the fire
department to close down, because
of a potentially dangerous
situation. Could you all please
leave the premisses as soon as
possible, but in an orderly
fashion, so that they may do the
necessary tests.
Then the Manager walks over to Angel, as the visitors are
shuffling out.
ANGEL
You did good! Now, let's go
downstairs.
MANAGER
No way, if what your saying is
true, I'm not going down there.
(He hands Angel over the
keys.)
Have fun!
He runs off.
ANGEL
Now how are we going to find our
way here.
DIMITRI
You know, I could maybe show you.
He winks at Angel. Angel gulps, then Spike pats him on the
shoulder.
SPIKE
That's such a great idea.
Angel sighs, while Spike gestures Dimitri to lead the way.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BASEMENT - NIGHT
Angel, Dimitri, Spike, Jacqueline, and the Raspinatza Elder
are carefully walking through the dimly-lit basement, which
is filled with all kinds of seasonal decorations not needed
in the bar at that moment. Angel stops and listens intently.
ANGEL
I can hear something.
The others are quiet.
SPIKE
Yeah, sounds like something's
scrapping against the walls.
Angel walks over to the nearest-by wall and puts his ear to
it to listen. Then he moves along the wall until he suddenly
stops.
ANGEL
It's on the other side of this
wall.
SPIKE
How are we going to get through it.
Angel looks around him and notices a wardrobe a couple of
feet away from him, against that same wall. He walks over and
tries to open it, but it's locked. He pulls it hard and the
chain that's locking it breaks. He proceeds to take all kinds
of extravagant outfits out of it. Then he reaches out into it
and pulls something. He lets go and looks disappointed, then
he kicks against something inside of the wardrobe very hard.
We hear a loud cracking noise. Then Angel turns around
satisfied.
ANGEL
After you, Spike.
Spike walks over and looks into the wardrobe and through the
hole in the back of it, into a sort of cave.
CUT TO:
INT. CAVE - NIGHT
Spike comes crawling out of the hole in the brick wall and
stares into the dimly-lit cave. It's rather dark and the only
light in the cave comes through the roster (in which
Jacqueline's shoe is still stuck). Spike walks over to the
egg in the middle of the room, while Angel pulls the
Raspinatza Elder through the hole and helps Jacqueline and
Dimitri through.
SPIKE
Angel... I think it kind of hatched
already!
ANGEL
What do you mean? It hatched?
Suddenly a three feet creature soars through the cave passing
right passed Angel, who ducks in time.
SPIKE
Like I said... it hatched!
Angel drops the weapon's bag and opens it. He throws an axe
to Spike, while he picks up a sword himself.
ANGEL
Be prepared for it to attack any
minute.
Jacqueline hurries over to Spike and grabs hold of him for
protection. Dimitri then does the same with Angel. Thus the
two walk around the cave.
SPIKE
Hey! That rat is getting away.
Angel turns around and sees the Raspinatza Elder trying to
crawl through the hole. He runs over, but then the creature
soars past Angel and begins attacking the Raspinatza Elder.
It keeps flapping its wings, as tries to bite the Elder.
Angel walks toward it and swings with his sword. But as he
does, the creature flies away and lets a breath of fire out
of its mouth, which puts the Elder behind on fire. Then, the
baby Dragon turns its attention to Angel. It tries to snap at
Angel, but Angel fends it off, and when it tries to put Angel
ablaze, Angel manages to duck its attacks. Suddenly, Spike
jumps at it from the side. The baby Dragon manages to evade,
but when its attention is turned to Spike, this allows Angel
to stab it. The baby Dragon tries to stay airborne, but
fails. It drops to the ground.
JACQUELINE
Was that?
ANGEL
A dragon... yeah!
JACQUELINE
(Angry.)
A baby!
ANGEL
It's not dead. I didn't stab it too
deep. Our weapons are dipped in
poison though. You cut yourself on
this blade and your average human
is gonna die three times in a row.
Spike wraps the blades of the axe and the sword up in towels,
while Angel picks up the Baby Dragon and puts it in the bag.
SPIKE
A baby Dragon, it'll keep under for
maybe a couple of hours.
JACQUELINE
What are you going to do with it?
ANGEL
We'll give it to someone who trains
them. Dragons can be the most noble
or the most vicious creatures... it
all depends on what they're taught
to do. I'm glad we caught it and
not mister barbecue here.
The Raspinatza Elder is moaning in pain. Spike walks over and
cuts loose the robes.
SPIKE
Well, run along then. Go tell your
buddies how merciful we were.
The Elder looks at Angel for confirmation. Angel just nods.
The Raspinatza Elder quickly gets away.
DIMITRI
Your going to just let him get
away?
They make way for the hole.
SPIKE
We don't have too much choice. Sure
he's a bad guy, he doesn't deserve
to live... but at the same time, if
we kill him, we're going to be
responsible for even more innocent
deaths.
Angel sighs. They start crawling through the hole.
CUT TO:
INT. AVERAGE JOE'S BASEMENT - NIGHT
Angel, carrying the unconscious baby, and Spike, carrying the
weapons, are already out. Angel helps Dimitri out and Spike
helps Jacqueline out.
JACQUELINE
What I don't understand is, what's
a baby dragon doing here?
SPIKE
That's what I'd like to know. You
went up to see Hamilton, after
Jacqueline told her story, right?
ANGEL
Yeah. He told me it was Wolfram &
Hart's. They planted the egg here
in the thirties. There was a
magical charm at work that kept it
the foetus from growing, but when
we defeated them, the spell stopped
and the baby started developing. It
took this long to hatch. It emits
magical energy and the Raspinatza
probably picked up on that. That's
why they wanted the club, they
wanted to be able to help the
Dragon hatch and tame it.
DIMITRI
That's why they killed all those
people?
JACQUELINE
That's why they would've killed me.
(She moves closer to
Spike.)
If it weren't for my big hero.
She pinches Spike's ass. He jumps up. Angel laughs, but then
Dimitri does the same to him.
FADE TO:
INT. AI LOBBY - DAWN
Anne is waiting for the lift, when Gunn comes walking over.
GUNN
So, you're finally done too?
ANNE
Yeah, it's been a long night.
They look at each other and smile nervously. Then they turn
to the lift again.
GUNN
It's taking a while...
ANNE
Yeah.
They look at each other again and more nervous smiling
ensues. Then they look to the lift again. Suddenly both turn
around to each other and throw themselves into each others
arms and they start kissing passionately. Then there's a ping
and the lift's doors open. It's Angel (carrying the baby
Dragon) and Spike.
SPIKE
Well, at least one of us is still
straight.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
Next week, another episode of Angel; in 6.08 "Lies, Lies... Shock", written by BB's very own Black Eye Guy, we witness the return of Lightning Lass, Gwen Raiden, who is ready to stir up life for Gunn!