Question Was Buffy a sex addict?

Chosen Enemy

Chosen Enemy

Losing my soul
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I know this is a very "WHOA" question, but I realized something that I'm not sure about, so I'm asking you.

During season 6, Buffy couldn't stop sleeping with Spike. She said to Tara: "why can't I stop?" But did she mean, can't stop being with Spike while hating herself, or can't stop having sex with Spike?

The difference I'm talking about is actually: Was she addicted to Spike or sex? Or sex with Spike? Why couldn't she stop?
 
Sex = Buffy's way of dulling the pain of post-heaven existence.

Ergo, Buffy is addicted to painkillers.

(Also, Spike is hot.)
 
Washburne
Washburne
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I wouldn't say she's a sex addict. I always saw it as she came back from heaven and felt nothing but grief and pain, but when she was with Spike she coould feel something else. I'm thinking back to OMWF... 'This isn't real, but I just want to feel'. It was just that. She loved the way he could make her feel, so she kept going back. I think her breakdown to Tara was shortly after she started realizing how self-destructive her actons were becoming.
 
M
Ms.Trick
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P
prophecygrrl
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Abbeycat
Abbeycat
That's what I was thinking. She wanted to feel something. Something else.
S
StarSlayer
Agreed. And that she realized she was using him.
She wasn't addicted to anything. Coming back from Heaven she felt numb. She didn't feel anything, but sleeping with Spike made he feel something. The the more violent and extreme, the better.

In a nutshell, it was grief.
 
I mean if you're looking at it as an addiction, I would say sex with Spike. Buffy was a hot sexy girl... she could have had sex with anyone... but she had sex with Spike all the time. Although, I think Kean's right. It wasn't an addiction. It was grief.
 
I think she wanted to feel something.

The feelings she was having towards Spike and the sex was pretty much the only time she was feeling anything at all.

She was feeling guilty for not properly taking care of Dawn and sort of hating her friends for "expelling" her from heaven.

Spike was the first person to learn the truth about where she was so I think that she was using him even before they started having sex, in order to ease her pain. She tried talking about it with him but when that didn't make her feel any better, she decided to turn the relationship sexual and then I think she started to feel guilty because she was using him.

IMO, I think she couldn't stop because she started to like it. Spike is hot and very sexual and clearly has some skills lol, so I think she liked it and was more addicted to the feeling of enjoyment she was getting out of the sex.

Basically what I'm trying to say it that while she was with Spike, she was happy and enjoying herself but when she was away from him, she was feeling guilty for ignoring her friends and family.

So addiction wise I'd say it was Spike she was addicted to, everything about him, but yeah I wouldn't call it addiction, just dealing.
 
No, I don't think so... If Buffy were a true sex addict, she would have been having a lot more sex than she was and she would have been with more than just Spike.
 
X
xfivebyfive
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Kean said:
She wasn't addicted to anything. Coming back from Heaven she felt numb. She didn't feel anything, but sleeping with Spike made he feel something. The the more violent and extreme, the better.

In a nutshell, it was grief.
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Agreed. In season 6 she was dealing with a lot and Spike "punishing" her was her way to feel something. Buffy wasn't a sex addict, IMO
 
He was also the only one who could make her feel anything at all. Feeling passionate but dirty about it was preferable to feeling nothing at all.
 
Kean said:
In a nutshell, it was grief.
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Hardly a counter-argument... I don't wanna know how many addictions (sexual, chemical, or otherwise) have been born out of grief/depression.


HisMrs said:
No, I don't think so... If Buffy were a true sex addict, she would have been having a lot more sex than she was and she would have been with more than just Spike.
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Not necessarily, there's so many ways in which sexual addiction can manifest... including lots of sex with one person (or even just with yourself). If you're monogamous, but your sex partner is someone you don't soberly consider eligible/appropriate according to your mores, and you're doing practices with them you don't usually approve of, and you fell bad afterwards but still come back for more, lots and lots of times, I'd daresay you're pretty far on the slippery road to an s.a. already.

Basically, I think Buffy was well on her way to developing an s.a., but not fully there yet.
 
Like everyone else, Buffy wasn't addicted to sex, it seemed she was more addicted to the feelings she got from it. She wanted to feel something and Spike did it for her, even if it was just lust, passion and pain.
 
Taake
Taake
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Fusions2 said:
Like everyone else, Buffy wasn't addicted to sex, it seemed she was more addicted to the feelings she got from it. She wanted to feel something and Spike did it for her, even if it was just lust, passion and pain.
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Yep, I agree... I think for Buffy it was never really about the sex, but more about being able to feel something in those moments with Spike.
 
No, I don't think Buffy is a sex addict. However, I do think she started to crave Spike, especially after they slept together, because of all the feelings (good and bad) she got when she was with him.

Hale Caesar said:
In one episode she says something to the effect that "she was bad (of course this is depressed Buffy speaking) and Spike having sex with her was her way of punishing herself"
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Are you referring to "Conversations with Dead People" in s7? That's when Buffy talks about her feelings in s6. It wasn't because she necessarily was bad. It was because she didn't want to be loved, although she knew Spike loved her. She says she wanted to be punished because she felt like she deserved it. She feels like she doesn't deserve love because she thinks she's beneath her friends, even boyfriends. In this sense, "punished" means Buffy wanted to hurt (which I assume relates to the rough sex she had with Spike at times) because she felt like she deserved it.
 
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