Was Buffy drawn to the darkness or addicted to the misery?

[Chosen Enemy]

In the beginning, in season 6, Spike thought Buffy was drawn to the dark side. That's why he thought she was like him and why she should be with him. That she was a creature of the night like him.
But later on, he realizes that no, she's not. But she's addicted to the misery, and that's why she doesn't tell her friends about her relationship with Spike. She doesn't want to be happy ever since she came back. She wants to suffer, to be punished, because she thought that she deserved it.

What are your thoughts on that? Does Buffy really want to suffer? Does she really deserve to suffer? And why does she think that? What did she do that was so wrong that she deserved to be punished?

 

[wickedtiger86]

I actually think she was, at least partly, drawn to the darkness. Because it represented a lot of things in life that she'd never experienced. It enabled her to keep her life, before The Gift separate from her life after The Gift. I think she wanted to keep that distinction clear to herself on some level.

However I do think that she was a bit addicted to the misery as well. She was depressed. Actual depression. The thing about depression isn't that you feel bad or upset all the time, it's that you lose the capacity to feel anything at all. So you go to extremes to try to find a way to feel something again. Just to prove that you can, to prove that you are still human.

She needed that. She literally needed to find a way to feel and the most accessible emotions to a person who is depressed are all the emotions on the negative end of the spectrum. Once she felt something again, she needed to keep it.

Once she talked to Tara she also began to feel sorrow and, probably more importantly, guilt. Feeling regret for her actions is a huge step towards other emotions. It takes you out of the shell you're in with depression and lets you start thinking about other people and how you're actions are effecting them. From there she really started to pull herself together a bit.

Umm, that's what I think anyway.

 

[moopop]

One of the main reasons depression is so hard to beat is because it's a vicious cycle. You can't feel better because you don't think you deserve to feel better because of the things you do to make yourself feel worse. Spike manipulated that feeling to get what he wanted or, perhaps more accurately, what he thought he wanted. It's not about lack of feeling, it's about the anger you feel toward yourself blocking out all else.

So I wouldn't say she's addicted, but it's the closest Spike can think of because of his limited capabilities. Until S7.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I think part of Buffy was always drawn to the darkness. She was always walking in the dark, slaying demons in the night. She was bound to be drawn to the darkness and the evil just a little bit; it's human nature to wonder and explore the what ifs that lie within all of us.
However, I also think she was slightly addicted to the misery of bad relationships as well. Some people are addicted to drama and heartache. Look at all these women who continually stay with men who abuse and/or cheat on them. They know they should leave but they don't because they're addicted to the drama. They feed off it.

 

[Willow My Love]

Evil and darkness was such a normal part of her life that I think she didn't think she could let anything light into her life. That's why her relationship with Riley didn't last, and why she couldn't let herself get together with Ben. With Riley, I think there was some disappointment on her part when she found out he was in the demon fighting gig too.

I think she also fell into a depression after she killed Angel that she didn't properly climb out of. Even when he came back from Hell. She changed after that. She because more somber. Like it had actually hit her that in a Slayer's life there's a lot of evil and death. And then she died, and came back from Heaven, and it made life even harder for her.

 

[PrettyLilGirl]

I think mainly the darkness part. It goes with where she thinks secretly that she's better then her friends (even though she hates thinking it) she gives the reason of its because she's different, but she was the reason she stayed that way. The part that makes her different is because she has to do this job were not only does she spend her time in the dark (literally) more than a normal person should she's got to be drawn to the metaphorical darkness too. If she wasnt she wouldnt be able to deal with what she did and saw on a daily basis. no person should have to see things like that so its going to pull her in slightly.

saying all that though Spike makes a good point when Buffy first started she did play off misey and pain to fight better. It was only in season 7 really that she got her strength solely from determination and telling herself she was going to win.

 

[white avenger]

Okay, this at first glance may sound like they've been messing with my meds again, but anyhow, here goes...

By the latter part of Season 5, it was pretty clear, at least to some of us, that there was a special bond between Spike and Buffy, something unique in the entire series. She trusted him, depended on him, and, in his own words, saw the man behind the monster, or I might go so far as to say that she saw the man INSTEAD OF the monster. Certainly by the beginning of Season 6, Spike is the only one of her friends who we know for certain that she trusted with the truth about her resurrection prior to "Once More With Feeling." Whether she even told Angel or not is not certain.

Anyhow... There was a definite attraction between Buffy and Spike, beginning well before and most certainly not limited to their brief escapades. Buffy felt it. Spike felt it. And, apparently, they both interpreted it in the same way, and acted accordingly. But I believe that they were both wrong. Spike wasn't pulling Buffy into the dark, Buffy was, in fact, pulling Spike into the light. Buffy's disorientation at the beginning of Season 6, leading up to the events surrounding their sexual relationship and its disastrous aftermath threw a monkey wrench into the whole process, but it did directly affect Spike's decision to regain his soul, so there is something positive to be drawn fron all of the negative.

Go back to Season 5, when Glory first showed up, watch the rest of that season, then into Season 6, and end after "Tabula Rasa." Skip the rest of that season, and just accept the fact that, for Buffy, Spike has gone on a quest for and has won, his soul. Season 7 would play out exactly the same as we know it.

Now, look at the resultant chain of events, and you see nothing but Spike's steady, if slow, evolution from monster to Champion. His emergence out of the dark and into the light. Nothing like that had ever happened, obviously, to Spike, so he interpreted what was happening as Buffy's attraction to the dark, when, in fact, it was he who was being drawn into the light. The last half of Season 6 was nothing more than a red herring tossed into the story line to draw attention away from what was really happening, just the same as we were led to believe tha Spike was trying to get his chip removed instaed of what he was actually doing. Regaining his soul.

 

[caritas08]

I think Buffy was drawn to the darkness because that was all that was familiar to her for a while. Buffy was experiencing true despair. It had been a long time since anything in her life felt normal/happy (healthy mom/college/Riley although I don't like him).

Buffy just kept taking hit after hit with no break and I think she felt like the darkness is all there was for her. It was almost comforting to her because at least she understood how to exist in it. It was the real world she wasn't able to handle (through mostly no fault of her own).

 

[LostBeloved]

:mad2:Wow, that was a great question and ofcourse I will provide you with a great answer, lol.

Buffy is in fact half dark half light. Her dark side is: She kills every single night, has dreams about ambush tactics and hunts like a predator. Her light side is: Shes compassionate, she will never kill a human being, and she takes care of her loved ones. She sacrifices her own happiness for their approval. She can not be drawn to the darkness because it is already inside of her.

I do not believe that Buffy is addicted to misery. I think that she was really hurt, scared and upset when she came back from heaven. She needed someone to be there to be her crutch but everyone was so busy assuming that no one stopped to ask her what happened or how she felt. Spike was the only one who truly sat down and ask her how she was really doing. She opened up to him because of that.

Buffy didnt tell the gang about her relationship with Spike because she knows that when it comes to her boyfriends they are very judgemental. Look at how they were around Angel, even when he had his soul they acted weird. How do you think they would respond to her being with a vampire without a soul? Probably just a judgemental and hurtful. If not more. She went through a lot at that time in her life, it was the only way that she could ensure that they wouldnt go around judging her anymore.

 

[Ripper666]

Well great Question but I still disagree. Is Buffy Drawn to Misery or the Darkness?
- I think neither nor..
Is she depressive?
-Maybe, that's possible and understandable but all those guys who say that Buffy has a really strong psychical side, I think they are right too, so "psychical strong" and ddepressive ? that doesn't fit, many you may think! But I say yes it fits because Buffy got out of her depression even if her position was really sobering. That's American Dream I think...
What was Buffy then drawn too?
-I think it was a sort of depression but a special one. With a lot of saddness and Dawn to earth. She only wished she could be whereever she was so a little bit melancholic.
I dn't think that she had suicide thoughts but she wished somebody to talk to, how she really feels!
Why Spike
- She talked to Spike because he was the only person she knew who wouldn't be as disapointet as the gang about her real feelings. And Spike wasn't accepted by the gang so she had no fear that he would talk to them about it. I think it wa a sort of relief for her to talk with an "extra " person about her in her painfull times of live.

 

[Kean]

I don't think Buffy is drawn to darkness anymore than any other person on the planet. If that was the case it would have shown itself more prominently when she wasn't depressed. To my memory anytime that Buffy has even mildly dabbled in "dark" e.g. with Faith in S3 and in S6, it has left a very bitter taste in Buffy's mouth and ultimately she has found it not to be who she is.

What I do think was that she was deeply depressed and that led her to make decisions that she may not have necessarily made had she been well. I think Spike tried to convince her she was "dark" but I don't believe Buffy ever was, at most she was extremely vulnerable and easily manipulated. Maybe Spike needed to believe she was dark? Maybe it made him feel better about being so attracted to her. I don't know if that is for me to say, but I don't believe for a second that Buffy is "dark" in nature.

I mean, what does "dark" even mean?

 

[Kairos]

I mean, what does "dark" even mean?

I've been wondering that for a good long time. To be quite frank I think that light and darkness are an obsolete metaphor that's been around too long for our language to shake it off. Nowadays people say "dark" when they're dealing with a concept that's on the cusp of bad or evil but want to soften it into something acceptable. I.e., evil is evil, dark is edgy and cool.

Buffy doesn't have a dark side, she has a set of morals and a full emotional range.

 

[ticonderouga]

For the most part I agree with WA, Spike was being drawn to the light rather then Buffy being pulled further into the dark. However, that being said, the Slayer almost has to tread a little on the dark side, and I think that in season 6 she may have moved further in that direction then she ever had before. Yet, I think this makes her very uneasy, and it haunts her for the majority of season 6. As for being addicted to misery, I think that Buffy tends to draw misery to her, but for the most part i think she does everything she can to avoid the misery. However, this is not something she can always do, hence she it frequently miserable. Yet, she never seeks it out, which is IMHO, a prerequisite for addiction.

 

[Kean]

Buffy doesn't have a dark side, she has a set of morals and a full emotional range.

Yes! This. Exactly.

"Darkness" almost feels like a cop out to me. A relinquishing of responsibility of one's choices. S6 was Buffy making choices in a chaotic state of mind and a state of extreme emotional turmoil. Those choices were further hampered by outside forces that tried to sway her i.e. Spike and duty that was crushing her i.e. Slaying and Dawn/running a home.

Because of all these things Buffy made choices that she thought were aiding her survival of that period, but were in fact, plunging her deeper into depression and distress.

 

[SlayerFest]

She was suffering, she started sleeping with Spike to cope. She then hated herself for it, and kept it up because she was in so much pain. She didn't deserve to suffer or to be miserable, but she was depressed. She was pulled out of hell and she kind of just wanted to die. She felt guilty because her friends and her sister needed her but she was ultimately just...lost. She didn't deserve to be punished, at all, but I understand why she felt the way that she did. I understand the choices that she made. She didn't want to be where she was. She wanted to get away, to escape her life. I know what that's like.