Was Buffy Right To Run Away in the End of Season Two?

[PurplePoof]

What do you think? Was it understandable that she did...or was she being a whiny, self-pitying bitch?

 

[T.I.P]

I think its understandable. Her mother had to be taught a lesson, which is, dont see a vampire be dusted in front of your face then act like it didnt happen.

 

[NightBird]

I'd have to say that she was being whiny but understandably so.

After all it's always the disciplinarian who gets the least credit for keeping things inline.

 

[PurplePoof]

I don't really think her mother needed to be taught a "lesson"...she was right in Dead Man's Party when she said Buffy didn't give her the time she needed to really come to terms with who Buffy was. I mean, being completely unaware there were even vampires and then finding out that not only ARE there vampires, but your only daughter has a sacred duty to fight them is a bit...overload.

I don't know, I have a difficult time understanding the mindset of a person who'd deal with their grief by running away and leaving everyone behind. Perhaps it's just Buffy's whole solitary thing...but I'd think if I were in her shoes I'd want the support of family and friends more than ever...

 

[Skytteflickan88]

Okaaaay. Running away for a day to teach your mom a lesson is okay, not for several months (or was it just weeks?).

I think she needed to get away and although it was selfish to not even send a postcard or email...

I've forgiven her, and I was mad at her for a while, but I realized that in so many ways she was still a child, even tough she had such huge a responsibility, and she needed her time. And I think that she came back as a better person, a stronger person, more confident in herself and her friends.

Okay, maybe it took a while before she actually became a stronger person, but I definitly think that the Scoobies and Buffy got a chance to grow. But she should have let them know that she was alive and that Angelus wasn't a threat anymore.
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I did. I feel like I know the characters by now, and I care about them enough to hate them sometimes. They make me cry and laugh, love and hate.

 

[Kean]

What do you think? Was it understandable that she did...or was she being a whiny, self-pitying bitch?

Ooops...sorry about that PP, I read the thread too fast and missed what you said🙂

 

[PurplePoof]

Keanoite, I thought it was pretty clear from the subject title that I was referring to her running away...

 

[Kean]

I think it was right for her at the time. I don't think you can accuse a girl who has just sent the love of her life to hell, been expelled from school and kicked out of home too whiny. In fact Buffy wasn't whiny at all throughout the season. She struggled, every second, but we never heard her complain. Was she feeling self-pity? Of course and rightly so, her world had imploded. She was devastated while her friends were celebrating the end of the Big Bad.

She should have told them that she was ok but I get her need for automony. Everyone reacted badly in the situation, not just Buffy.
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Keanoite, I thought it was pretty clear from the subject title that I was referring to her running away...

Read my post above yours.

 

[yellowcrayon]

Was it right for her to leave? I'm not sure. It certainly is understandable. To experience the love of your life turn evil on you, and then get his soul back right when you have no choice but to kill him in order to prevent the end of the world, to have your best friend tell you to "kick his ass," to be expelled from school, have her mom kick her out, and have Giles be too obsessive over Jenny (albeit that is understandable) to so much as let his Slayer (and his responsibility) know that he cared... There's only so much a girl can take, especially at 17. Not one year ago had she died and come back to life. Now she has this on her shoulders, and her friends are too wrapped up in themselves to be the emotional crutch she needed at that point in time. Buffy needed to be strong for them, as far as they were concerned, and they never thought about needing to be strong for her.

With all that going on, I think it was good for her to get away and try and recuperate on her own, away from the distractions that Giles, Joyce, Willow and Xander would have presented. After all, if they weren't going to help her get through this, better to not have them around at all.

What I do think was inexcusable was not writing or calling at all. That was selfish on her part, and was the instinctive reaction of "well, if they don't care about me, then it's not important enough for them to know..." Which is basically a pity party, let's feel sorry for myself move. The decision to leave was fine until that wrench was thrown in it.

So, in sum... was it right to leave? Yes. Was it right to refuse to let them know where she was, that she was alive, etc.? No.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Was it right to refuse to let them know where she was, that she was alive, etc.? No.

Why wasn't it right? They shut her out long before she left, she didn't owe them anything. If they were honestly concerned they would have shown it BEFORE she left, not afterwards. It was more gulit driving them- especially Giles- to action than being worried about her.

 

[Primal Slayer]

I think it was right for her at the time. I don't think you can accuse a girl who has just sent the love of her life to hell, been expelled from school and kicked out of home too whiny. In fact Buffy wasn't whiny at all throughout the season. She struggled, every second, but we never heard her complain. Was she feeling self-pity? Of course and rightly so, her world had imploded. She was devastated while her friends were celebrating the end of the Big Bad.

She should have told them that she was ok but I get her need for automony. Everyone reacted badly in the situation, not just Buffy.

I totally agree with you. She was 17, everything around her just came to one big crash and she couldnt deal with it, so she did what she thought was easiest, run away from her problems. Sunnydale at that moment was to full of painful memories and she tried to forget about everything and everyone who was there.

 

[Skytteflickan88]

Why wasn't it right? They shut her out long before she left, she didn't owe them anything. If they were honestly concerned they would have shown it BEFORE she left, not afterwards. It was more gulit driving them- especially Giles- to action than being worried about her.

They we're all hurting and isolated in their own way, true, but that doesn't mean that they didn't care for her, I see no reason to believe that at all.

What do you mean?

 

[yellowcrayon]

Why wasn't it right? They shut her out long before she left, she didn't owe them anything. If they were honestly concerned they would have shown it BEFORE she left, not afterwards. It was more gulit driving them- especially Giles- to action than being worried about her.

Is it right to repay one wrongdoing with another? It might feel better, but it's not the right thing to do. They didn't show her they cared, and she didn't owe her anything, you're right. However, that doesn't excuse her not treating them the way she wants to be treated. What she did, rather than retain the moral high ground (isn't that something she should be doing anyway, as the Slayer and champion against evil and the forces of darkness?), was sink to their level. Their concern, or lack thereof, should not be the driving force behind her decisions.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Is it right to repay one wrongdoing with another? It might feel better, but it's not the right thing to do.

But I dont see her doing it intentionally; I see it as her trying to live her life again. I never thought her non-contact was vindictive or out of spite, just thought it was too hard for her to live.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is...leave. Poor Buffy. She'd been through a lot.

 

[Joyce Summers]

I'm always all conflicty with this. In the heat of the moment- or rather in the heat of the episode- I never see a problem with Buffy leaving. I think for all of us who've been 17 and who are 17 (and those who've yet to get there.....i wish you luck, haha) can understand that sometimes at that age everything just feels on top of you. And for Buffy that was to the amount of 10. So as you watch the episode her running away seems fitting (and also suitably dramatic for a season finale!) and totally without need for explanation.

However whenever I watch Anne I start thinking 'Hold the phone. She's gone from dealing with (or rather trying to escape) the hurt to being irresponsible and selfish. I'm not saying I don't still understand her actions, as she herself realizes where she's gone wrong, but to go for months without helping people from the big bads when you know you're one of the few who can.....just seems....wrong. But like I said, she does eventually realize this herself.

And then Dead Man's Party....I pretty much agree with all the characters, including Buffy at one point. And Willow mentioned one of my main gripes- letting them all worry. Yes, she ran away, yes she wanted to escape but she must have known that every last one of them would have been worried and scared for her, not knowing where she was or anything. A phonecall or an answer left on a voicemail, a letter without a return address if she still didn't want them to find her- just anything to let them know yes she'd gone away for a while, but she was okay. I mean the last word they heard from her was presumably the letter she left on her own bed in Becoming.

It just seems to go from Girl Needing Escapism to Girl Not Realizing The Hell She's Putting Everyone Else Through. But like I said, I can find myself putting myself in every character's shoes for this situation including Buffy. Thinking how much Will misses her, how guilty Giles must be feeling considering he more than likely blames himself since he was Watcher Man, how worried her Mom would be....all of that makes me think Bad Buffy. But then I think of the utter hell Buffy was going through and I think 'Aww poor Buffster'.

So....I guess what I'm trying to say is, yes Buffy needed to go away for a while for herself, but she had no right to put the blame on others for her AWOLness which is essentially what she does in DMP (She says her Mom kicked her out (which despite what some on here say, was not true. My own Mom has given me that ultimatum in the past and I've replied by leaving anyway- but I knew she didn't mean she literally was kicking me out! and the same can be said of Joyce), that Xander being unsupportive of Bangel was a reason she couldn't stay too...).

So while I understand her running away...I don't really believe it was right of her to do so. (Yay, I came to a conclusion!)

 

[sk]

At first I would go with that it was understandable but not the right thing to do.
Staying and talking it out with Willow (and her mom) would probably been better.

On the other hand... getting away from the Slayer gig might been exactly what she needed in the long term.
Getting away from it and with time realizing that there is lots of things worth fighting for and by that coming back stronger than before.
And to do that she probably needed to really cut all contacts with friends and family for awhile.

I do feel so sorry for Willow though, spending that summer without knowing what happend to her best friend.

/SK

 

[Blodeuedd]

How would we react if we thought that we had lost everything? Would we be capable of thinking? let alone thinking straight?
I think that the way Buffy behaved is how most of us would deal with it, or that might just be me

 

[AgentX7k]

I don't have a problem with her running away under the circumstances, though I still think she should have dropped them a line saying she was ok. Just a simple letter. It was cruel to leave them in the dark like that.

 

[fly on the wall]

I don't think she was right, but I don't think she was wrong, either.
She had just killed her boyfriend; Kendra, Slayer #2, who reminded her that she was NOT alone in the world, had just died; she was wanted for murder; her mother had just kicked her out of the house...I mean, can we really blame her for leaving? I don't think her actions here can be described as bitchy or whiny.

Also, I disagree about not giving Joyce enough time to come to terms with it. Maybe Buffy hadn't given her enough time...but she hadn't HAD any time. She was right smack in the middle of end-of-the-world stuff. What was she supposed to do? Have tea, sit down and talk about things, let Joyce sleep on it before saving the world? She HAD to leave right then, and Joyce had told her not to come back. When your mom says something like that, right in the middle of a crisis, and right before a greater crisis, it sticks with you. I think Buffy truly believed she couldn't return to that house...and once she was gone, it got harder and harder to return.

Of course, my opinion there isn't helped by the fact that I really hate Joyce. Her whole attitude in general just bothers me, especially during these episodes. Like when she told Giles that she blamed him for Buffy's leaving...riiiigghht, don't blame yourself for being a completely oblivious mother or kicking your daughter out, don't blame your daughter who actually did the running-away, blame the man who was just doing his job to defend the world from evil. :rolleyes0

I do think she should have contacted someone in Sunnydale and let them know she was okay. But I also understand that doing that would have been very difficult. She needed time, some serious alone time, in order to cope with all that had happened. Besides, it wasn't like it would have been the same situation if me or one of my friends had left town...she was the Slayer, they knew she could take care of herself. As Giles had said, Buffy was the most capable child he'd ever met.