That's probably true of you, and it is of me. I still don't think it's true of most (nor do I mistake the greater society by my personal acquaintances as many do, nor do I believe naivety or pretending people are better than they are is a virtue as I know it is for many people who have the "(s)he who smelt it, dealt it" philosophy, or worse, that their beliefs actually shape reality by direct force so that to prepare for the worst is to invite it to happen, or that it angers God by a lack of faith and thus God will punish them with what they fear, etc). I started to share my reasoning but it was turning into an essay that involved history (including how common parents sent their children to abusive factories for the extra money rather than to school or otherwise protecting them, and I've seen enough to know many still would today if it were allowed by law), sociology, and personal experience (I don't mean just me, but of many I've known, and plenty of news stories show the same, as do the rates in which children are killed everyday in abuse, if not by their mothers then by people their mothers knew, and may have even watched, which is worst case scenario, many prefer convenience and like to pretend all is okay or simply shut down when put on the spot).
From my perspective, Joyce was downright smothering rather than neglectful. Guess I went too many days without eating (or having to go to friends, raid free food samples, etc) even on my mother's better days as a child for it to appear any other way (and I consider my mother better than some others I've known). I can buy that Joyce was (like many if not most people) deeply flawed, but not that she was neglectful, and certainly not unloving. If Buffy was neglected then that word has no meaning to me.
But in any case, I wasn't saying YOU were a bad mother, nor was I meaning to specifically slam mothers as a demographic since I have fairly low expectations of about everyone (though not in a hair pulling way, and it's much easier to pleasantly surprise me as often happens than to disappoint me). I'm sure we'll just have to agree to disagree on whether Joyce was better or worse than many, but I didn't want you to think I was slamming all mothers. It's not my intent to make anyone feel bad about themselves, and everyone (mother, childless by choice, kids, and about everyone else) feels constantly criticized for their choices or how they are.
Though there was one tidbit of info I read in a book on criminal psychology: when the FBI find a murdered child who has been put into a coat then they automatically look to the mother. It seems even mothers who murder their own children retain some maternal feelings for an offspring even after dead. I share that as I find it interesting (and it does imply an ingrained protectiveness even in the mothers who kill their own children), and also because it reminds me of the scene where Willow's mother tells Willow to get her coat even as she intends to burn her at the stake (insanity caused by demonic power aside, that's actually accurate!).
Hmmm....this song sums up how I view people (which includes mothers), and set to Buffy...and I just found it this morning:
I'm sharing because it's Buffy/Angel (and I just found it this morning so it's fresh on my mind), but I mean it more for the lyrics, though ("Underneath it all, we're just savages, hidden beneath shirts, ties, and marriages, how can we expect anything at all when we're animals still learning to crawl").
