Was Joyce too hard?

[wiccianslayer]

i was watching s the episode becoming part 2 and gt to the scene where buffy and joyce had the confrontation and i was thinking joyce was acting to cruel with her "if you walk out of this house don't even think about coming back" and about her being a loon. what do you think was joyce to hard on buffy? what would you do in joyce's shoes? in fact what would you do in buffy's shoes during that confrontation?

 

[white avenger]

I don't think Joyce was a loon, and I don't think she was being too hard. I do believe that she was bluffing, thinking that Buffy, even if she did "go out that door," would be coming back. I also believe that she was being a protective mother who had just suddenly had a load of to say the least extremely disturbing news dumped on her. "I'm sorry, Mom, but I have to go out and kill a bunch of things that you only thought existed in horror movies, and, by the way, my boyfriend, the one I slept with at the age of sixteen? Well, he's a four hundred year old vampire who's planning on destroying the world, and I have to go and try to stop him. I may not survive the night, but if I do, could we please sit down in the morning over toast and juice and discuss this then? Oh, and just in case you're worried about me getting hurt, you don't have to, really, because I've already been killed once. It's no big thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and save the world...again." Nope, I think Joyce showed remarkable restraint in not trying to tie her daughter up and call the guys at the funny farm to see if they do night pick up.

Add to all of that (and we didn't know this at the time, but Joyce certainly must have been thinking about it) Buffy had already had psychiatric care once before for seeing monsters. Joyce must've been thinking that her daughter was having a relapse.

 

[tashalindsey]

I don't think Joyce was a loon, and I don't think she was being too hard. I do believe that she was bluffing, thinking that Buffy, even if she did "go out that door," would be coming back. I also believe that she was being a protective mother who had just suddenly had a load of to say the least extremely disturbing news dumped on her. "I'm sorry, Mom, but I have to go out and kill a bunch of things that you only thought existed in horror movies, and, by the way, my boyfriend, the one I slept with at the age of sixteen? Well, he's a four hundred year old vampire who's planning on destroying the world, and I have to go and try to stop him. I may not survive the night, but if I do, could we please sit down in the morning over toast and juice and discuss this then? Oh, and just in case you're worried about me getting hurt, you don't have to, really, because I've already been killed once. It's no big thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and save the world...again." Nope, I think Joyce showed remarkable restraint in not trying to tie her daughter up and call the guys at the funny farm to see if they do night pick up.

I agree with this. At that point Joyce, amazingly, didn't know that any of the things exsisted. When Buffy dropped this on her, she was so shocked that she just wanted Buffy to explain or attempt to. However, Buffy had to go kill Angel and didn't have time to have a heart-to-heart.

 

[Jone]

I don't think Joyce was a loon, and I don't think she was being too hard. I do believe that she was bluffing, thinking that Buffy, even if she did "go out that door," would be coming back. I also believe that she was being a protective mother who had just suddenly had a load of to say the least extremely disturbing news dumped on her. "I'm sorry, Mom, but I have to go out and kill a bunch of things that you only thought existed in horror movies, and, by the way, my boyfriend, the one I slept with at the age of sixteen? Well, he's a four hundred year old vampire who's planning on destroying the world, and I have to go and try to stop him. I may not survive the night, but if I do, could we please sit down in the morning over toast and juice and discuss this then? Oh, and just in case you're worried about me getting hurt, you don't have to, really, because I've already been killed once. It's no big thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and save the world...again." Nope, I think Joyce showed remarkable restraint in not trying to tie her daughter up and call the guys at the funny farm to see if they do night pick up.- posted by white avenger

I agree 100%.

At first, I always thought Joyce was too hard on Buffy. But that was when I was younger and only saw that scene as Joyce being a jerk and not being supportive. I treated this moment as if Joyce should have known all along that Buffy was the slayer and that vampires and demons were real. However, she didn't understand why Buffy was behaving the way she was. She wanted to finally have control over her daughter (in a parent way...not evil!) and Buffy wouldn't have it. So she threatened her. Parents always say things they don't mean. And I personally don't think she REALLY wanted Buffy to leave...she just wanted to scare her.

 

[Wiccaness]

Yeah i think White Avenger pretty much said it, i think maybe at the time if i were in buffys shoes i would have thought that that was pretty hard, but it was alot to take in and she handled it better then i would have thought,

 

[MLLamble]

I think that Joyce was hard on Buffy. Of course, she did have a lot to process in not much time, but she was very unsupportive of the whole "Gotta save the world" thing. I think that she didn't actually expect Buffy to leave, which is why she said her little "If you walk out that door, don't even think about coming back!" line.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

I would love to see this split up.

I want Mothers and women/men over 18 to tell me what they think and clearly state they are either a mother or over 18 and teenagers under 18(both sexes) to state and make clear.

 

[white avenger]

From A Man Over 18...

I would love to see this split up.

I want Mothers and women/men over 18 to tell me what they think and clearly state they are either a mother or over 18 and teenagers under 18(both sexes) to state and make clear.

I qualify for the age and sex as a man over 18 (WAY over 18!), also as both a parent and a grand parent, My opinions and my arguments supporting them can be found several replies above this one, but I will restate them in part. Joyce was not being too harsh with Buffy GIVEN THE FACTS AS SHE BELIEVED THEM TO BE. Even if she HAD known everything that was really going on, Joyce never struck me as the sort who would say something to the effect of, "With your shield or on it," as her daughter went off to fight the forces of Darkness, At the very least, she would be shouldering her trusty fire axe and joining her daughter on the battle lines.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

As you stated white avenger. One of the fun things about being a parent, there isn't a manual, but being supportive, as much as is deemed suitable does help. Fire axes alround !. [but don't sing ....hi ho, hi ho, its of to work we go].

 

[drtroy]

well..I wouldn't say she was being hard..more of she did not handle the situation correctly. Heck, she barely knew what was going on, she did not know what could happen to her daughter....not only that she is probably a thousand times more likely to be killed than the average girl..I'm sure it went through Joyce's head..that someone could easily hurt her daughter because she had this gift. She was just being a mother, and wanted to protect her, but obviously she lost it when she realized that Buffy was becoming independent, and that she could no longer protect her. It had to be difficult not knowing if something terrible was going to happen to her daughter...could you imagine?I feel Joyce was thinking..that her daughter might not come back..

 

[Xin Rong]

I think joyce may have overreacted but with very good reason, I'm guessing that type of situation is fairly unique and I bet its definetly not in any of the parenting books lol

 

[JCC]

Why are we all speculating what we'd do if we were a fictional character whose daughter told us she kills vampires?

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Lets see, we enjoy speculating.
Umm, I'm not a fictional character ? Hang on, I'll just nip out and ask Joyce.
Are you infering that vampires don't exist ?

 

[Lindsey McDonald]

^Implying. Not infering........sorry. It bugs me. Not trying to be snarky.

Amyway, Male, 17. I think what Joyce said was perfectly understandable. She was rapidly losing control of her young daughter, and had nowhere near enough time to process any of what Buffy told her. She tried to regain authority with the whole shock factor bluff thing (probably improvised from one of the more extreme parenting books!) but it was the wrong thing to say. Not her fault though. If anything, Buffy is at fault. She really should have told Joyce earlier. And not coming back.... Did she have so little faith in Joyce?



Nah. they just needed to skip the summer without anything happening. Always annoyed me how Bufy would go away for six weeks a year, yet Giles would get on at her for going to the Bronze on a Friday night!

 

[Blondie Bear]

Nah. they just needed to skip the summer without anything happening. Always annoyed me how Bufy would go away for six weeks a year, yet Giles would get on at her for going to the Bronze on a Friday night!

Well, this summer was the only time she just up and disappeared. The first summer she spent in L.A. with her dad, and I would think that after dying and killing the Master, Giles would think she deserved a break (and besides, what's he going to do, tell her dad he can't take her for his legally-granted visitation?). The second summer, she ran off. The third summer she spent planning for college and taking another break. The fourth summer I assume she spent hanging out with Riley. The fifth, she was dead. The sixth, taking care of Dawn. So there were only the two times that she actually left town; it wasn't like she regularly ran off for weeks at a time (unless she was Slaying in Cleveland instead . . . :wink0🙂.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Missed that completely, I was looking for the pun,
Joyce Summers.....Buffy Summers.....'skip the summer without anything happening'.
I was trying to see how the -skip thing- may have been an early reference to Dawn !.

 

[wiccianslayer]

buffy did tell joyce before and she put her in a mentale insttition i wouldn't want to tell joyce after that

 

[Lindsey McDonald]

Well, this summer was the only time she just up and disappeared. The first summer she spent in L.A. with her dad, and I would think that after dying and killing the Master, Giles would think she deserved a break (and besides, what's he going to do, tell her dad he can't take her for his legally-granted visitation?). The second summer, she ran off. The third summer she spent planning for college and taking another break. The fourth summer I assume she spent hanging out with Riley. The fifth, she was dead. The sixth, taking care of Dawn. So there were only the two times that she actually left town; it wasn't like she regularly ran off for weeks at a time (unless she was Slaying in Cleveland instead . . . :wink0🙂.

That's true, but it still strikes me as odd that the Big Bads took the same holidays as school kids. I know that its all part of the TV format, but I always laugh when the scoobies go whole summers without a Slayer, and then two episodes later all nearly die!

I can just imagine Giles trying to persuade Joyce to go on holiday to Cleveland each year!

Also:

"Bored of the Dead disagrees: Actually, to infer means to to derive as a conclusion from facts or premises so in this isntance ILLYRIAN could be seen as accurate"

Ahh..... You could well be correct. It all depends on what he meant, it could be read both ways. I just thought he meant imply rather than infer. Anyway, it doesn't really matter.

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

"Bored of the Dead disagrees: Actually, to infer means to to derive as a conclusion from facts or premises so in this isntance ILLYRIAN could be seen as accurate"

Ahh..... You could well be correct. It all depends on what he meant, it could be read both ways. I just thought he meant imply rather than infer. Anyway, it doesn't really matter.

It only 'matters' when someone makes it matter by allowing it to affect them.
I was, in essence, doing you a service. You shouldn't be 'bugged' now so you can go and live your like bug free.

 

[StuckinTraffic]

I don't think Joyce was being too harsh, under the circumstances. She did overreact, but that was understandable, too. Her daughter just dropped this bombshell on her and then expected her to just be ok with it and get out of the way. Well.....what parent wouldn't go off the deep end? Admittedly, Buffy could have said, "look, mom...I'll explain everything, just not right this second," but she didn't. There's always something you regret saying or not saying later, but that's the way it goes.

The thing that's always pissed me off, tho, is that Joyce told Buffy not to come back....so she didn't! Why was she so surprised? Why did she blame it on Giles? I mean, had I been in that situation and my mother told me not to come back....even in the heat of the moment....you can bet by God....I'm not coming back!