kate1013
Potential
^ Yep. I have a hard time making excuses for Joyce, too. Not because she handled the situation itself badly (she did, but I can't think of many parents who wouldn't), but because of MANY situations previous and following that she handled badly.
Telling Buffy not to come back is just the tip of the iceberg, in my opinion.
There was also nearly three years prior to this incident that Joyce, somehow, did not notice that her daughter was a vampire slayer. C'mon, we've all seen Buffy sneak out her window..she practically THUNDERS out. Blood on her clothes, strange items in her room, odd behavior...hey, hanging out with the creepy librarian alone would have made me question a few things. But Joyce remained oblivious to all of this.
Also, this:
does not excuse a thing, in my book. She chose to have a drink in that moment. That is entirely on her.
So then the fight happens, and then when Buffy comes back in S3, Joyce has the audacity to say (and I'm going off memory here, so forgive me if it's not word-for-word):
"Mom's not perfect, OK? But that doesn't mean you can punish me by running away."
She doesn't take a moment, the whole time Buffy was gone, to think that maybe Buffy was going through something huge. Something life-changing. That Buffy had this huge responsibility, and maybe something terrible happened to her that made her leave. No, to Joyce, this is all about her. And it's infuriating. If I were Buffy, I probably would have left again, right then, and not go back.
I agree with you, Buffy could have maybe came back and talked it out with her after she had saved the world, but Joyce did say not to come back if she walked out that door, so she didn't.
Also I think Buffy just really needed some time alone, she hated being the Slayer thoughout season 1, season 2 she got used to it, but she had to kill the love of her life, I mean really though, I would have taken some time off too.
I hated the scene where everyone was ganging up on her too at the party.