Was Tara right leaving Willow?

[Icarium]

No, Tara was wrong to leave; She always encouraged Willow to do more and more magic

She did? Like when? Certainly not in Crush when Tara is all "no more teleportation spells, honey" or Tough Love with "it frightens me how powerful you're getting.". Or Forever when Willow doesn't know what to do and Tara refuses to even contemplate the idea of resurrecting Joyce.

when Willow becomes comfortable enough, Tara tells her not to do magic.

No, Tara tells her not to do everything with magic. Then Willow goes mental, wipes Tara's mind and it's Willow's idea to go one month without magic.

 

[The Unspoken]

You could argue that Willow was already addicted to magic before 'Wrecked'. She uses magic for every little thing (which is presented as something negative) and her overreliance on it impairs her judgment. Amy tells her Rack can 'enhance' her magic, which brings us to...

...magic!crack! This is a physical addiction that's literally afflicted on Willow. Actually, you could even describe it as an accident. An accident that happened because Willow wasn't careful and which perhaps wouldn't have happened if Tara was around.

Of course, Tara had no way of knowing of the existence of magic!crack, so it's a moot point anyway.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

She did? Like when? Certainly not in Crush when Tara is all "no more teleportation spells, honey" or Tough Love with "it frightens me how powerful you're getting.". Or Forever when Willow doesn't know what to do and Tara refuses to even contemplate the idea of resurrecting Joyce.

No, Tara tells her not to do everything with magic. Then Willow goes mental, wipes Tara's mind and it's Willow's idea to go one month without magic.

Those were all instances where Tara was not supportive; there are just as many shown where she is, and others where her support is implied.

Did not Tara participate when Willow was telepathically linking everyone to hunt vampires when Buffy was dead? If not openly support at least enable. Even going back to the episode Who Are You, it is Tara that encourages Willow to do bigger magic then they ever done before. It's Tara that thinks of it, and Tara that convinces Willow she can do it. Again, support and enable.

Was it not Tara who first 'violated' the group by making everyone "blind" to demons so they could not see her demon side in Family only to put the entire group at risk? It's not really that much different than what Willow did in Tabula Rasa?

Could Tara not have, while she was researching the leaf she found under her pillow found an "anti-magic" spell to encase the house? Or some mystic warning system. Dawn's little wish made a vengeance demon unable to teleport from the house, surely Tara and Giles could have found a way to ease Willows 'abuse' and 'reliance' on magic if only limited to the house. But...

When Willow conjured up all the party favors for the party thus saving time, did anyone show their disdain then? Did they refuse to profit from her magical interference? No. They ate, drank and enjoyed themselves, then later complained.

You cannot scold Pavlov's dog when you ring the dinner bell and it drools, you conditioned it as such. Willow was by no means a victim, but she was conditioned to be 'magic girl' and they did appreciate it, until her magic grew to a strength and abilities they did not feel comfortable with.

Walking out and in essence washing your hands of it, leaving it all to a living dead girl to sort, was the easy way out. She helped create the problem and did nothing to help solve it.

 

[Himiko]

Messing with someone's mind and memories so they forget you had a fight is more than just a "Whoops!" incident in my mind- its a manipulative form of abuse. More than that, Willow does it twice. It's not just a "I did it and it was bad, I never should have done it!", Willow does it again, as a quick fix. Like I said, manipulative and abusive on her part.

And, for me, that abuse makes the question of whether Willow would have fared better if Tara had stayed a moot point. If someone is abusing you, if they've done it more than once, implying that they might well do it again, I don't give a damn how badly off they'll be without you around. Tara needed to leave, not for Willow's sake, but for Tara's.

Now, as it happens, I think that Tara leaving did give Willow a kick up the arse in realising she needed to ease off the magic, as did her later accident with Dawn. I think she does need support in doing it, as she becomes addicted to it, but I don't think it would have been healthy to Tara for her to stay at that point.

 

[Icarium]

Those were all instances where Tara was not supportive; there are just as many shown where she is, and others where her support is implied.

Did not Tara participate when Willow was telepathically linking everyone to hunt vampires when Buffy was dead? If not openly support at least enable. Even going back to the episode Who Are You, it is Tara that encourages Willow to do bigger magic then they ever done before. It's Tara that thinks of it, and Tara that convinces Willow she can do it. Again, support and enable.

Was it not Tara who first 'violated' the group by making everyone "blind" to demons so they could not see her demon side in Family only to put the entire group at risk? It's not really that much different than what Willow did in Tabula Rasa?

Could Tara not have, while she was researching the leaf she found under her pillow found an "anti-magic" spell to encase the house? Or some mystic warning system. Dawn's little wish made a vengeance demon unable to teleport from the house, surely Tara and Giles could have found a way to ease Willows 'abuse' and 'reliance' on magic if only limited to the house. But...

When Willow conjured up all the party favors for the party thus saving time, did anyone show their disdain then? Did they refuse to profit from her magical interference? No. They ate, drank and enjoyed themselves, then later complained.

You cannot scold Pavlov's dog when you ring the dinner bell and it drools, you conditioned it as such. Willow was by no means a victim, but she was conditioned to be 'magic girl' and they did appreciate it, until her magic grew to a strength and abilities they did not feel comfortable with.

Walking out and in essence washing your hands of it, leaving it all to a living dead girl to sort, was the easy way out. She helped create the problem and did nothing to help solve it.

Your whole premise is wrong, IMO. There is nothing wrong with casting spells per se, so I don't see the problem with Tara being supportive of that. The problem is when one does everything by magic. Two different things, Tara can be supportive of one and opposed to the other. Just like a spouse in the real world can support their significant other drinking a glass or two occasionally but be against them getting hammered every night. Willow using spells for vampire hunting is a necessity, using it to put on her clothes is stupid of her and totally unnecessary. Was the addiction storyline written well? God no, it was a trainwreck of epic proportions. Do I think Tara behaved illogically sometimes during that time? You bet I do. But blaming her for spells like the one in "Who Are You" is a bit weird, IMO. If anyone conditioned Willow to be "magic, magic, must have magic", it was Giles who never bothered teaching her anything about spells and Buffy's insistence that Willow be her "big gun". But the problem was 99% Willow herself (or the stupid writers, if you ask me).

Also, it's pretty clear that the desire to make amends to Tara is a big factor in Willow's success in staying "sober" from Wrecked to Entropy. Had Tara stayed who knows what might have happened. Yes, theoretically she could have used say the testing method from Witch as some sort of "drug test" to check on Willow, used protection spells or whatever but I think that as long as Willow didn't let in her thick head the idea that people aren't toys she could fix at will, all this would have been an exercise in futility. She is a genius after all, and a much stronger witch than Tara. She would have found a way around those obstructions and "gotten high" anyway.

And, for me, that abuse makes the question of whether Willow would have fared better if Tara had stayed a moot point. If someone is abusing you, if they've done it more than once, implying that they might well do it again, I don't give a damn how badly off they'll be without you around. Tara needed to leave, not for Willow's sake, but for Tara's.

Word.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Giles who never bothered teaching her...
Buffy's insistence that Willow be her "big gun".

But that's what I mean.. they all went to her from the second season on. It became customary for her to use magic to solve things. Why would it matter if it was a three-headed hellhound with halitosis or a hangnail that she wanted to clip. I mean.. you have a remote control for your television, do you still get up, walk to the TV and manually change channels or turn the volume up or down? I dont see a difference.

I don't even want to go into the whole magic drug-use thing, because.. whatever. I just thought it incredibly lame and almost PSAish.

 

[Icarium]

But that's what I mean.. they all went to her from the second season on. It became customary for her to use magic to solve things. Why would it matter if it was a three-headed hellhound with halitosis or a hangnail that she wanted to clip. I mean.. you have a remote control for your television, do you still get up, walk to the TV and manually change channels or turn the volume up or down? I dont see a difference.

Well, the writers constantly changed the rules governing magic in the Buffyverse, so it's pretty all a guesswork but apart from the addiction nonsense, I would say that the difference is that spells can be dangerous and often backfire. Remote controls...not so much. 🙂

But yes, the whole thing was stupid. As someone once put it "Tara (or Giles) telling Willow not to do spells is like one crackhead telling another that crack is bad for her". 😀 The whole thing unfolds along the lines of a completely new situation where they need to find out how to proceed which makes precious little sense if the magic addiction thing is common as Sam Finn's stories about burned out shamans and the many clients of Rack (very subtle allusion to crack...not!) seemed to imply. And you'd expect it to be mentioned in the previous seasons. It comes out of left field, it completely disappears in S7, it's simply a trainwreck of a story. Judging whether Tara had the right idea about the magic addiction is impossible because what exactly was said addiction changes from an episode to episode.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Remote controls...not so much.

I dont really care for universals, not met one I like except harmony and I refuse to pay that.. I have on occasion had remote controls backfire on me.

 

[The Unspoken]

But that's what I mean.. they all went to her from the second season on. It became customary for her to use magic to solve things. Why would it matter if it was a three-headed hellhound with halitosis or a hangnail that she wanted to clip. I mean.. you have a remote control for your television, do you still get up, walk to the TV and manually change channels or turn the volume up or down? I dont see a difference.

I don't even want to go into the whole magic drug-use thing, because.. whatever. I just thought it incredibly lame and almost PSAish.

Willow's addiction, which starts in 'Wrecked', isn't something she actually develops herself. It's something Rack literally inflicts on her. In fact, I'd characterize it more as a disease or an accident that has the properties of an addiction.

Of course, that's just me trying to make sense of the mystery that is magic!crack.

 

[Chosen Enemy]

Willow's addiction, which starts in 'Wrecked', isn't something she actually develops herself. It's something Rack literally inflicts on her. In fact, I'd characterize it more as a disease or an accident that has the properties of an addiction.

Of course, that's just me trying to make sense of the mystery that is magic!crack.

I don't think the addiction starts in "Wrecked". We saw signs way before. Wasn't even Rack's fault, she was already pretty deep into it at this point.

 

[The Unspoken]

I don't think the addiction starts in "Wrecked". We saw signs way before. Wasn't even Rack's fault, she was already pretty deep into it at this point.

If she was already addicted prior to 'Wrecked', which I somewhat agree with, it was an addiction to power, she used magic excessively and without much judgment. The addiction Rack inflicts on her literally turns her spell casting into substance abuse.

 

[Ms.Trick]

I think Tara was more than right to leave Willow.

First of all, because Tara's dignity as a human being was violated. More than once. By her girlfriend.
Willow took Tara for granted. It's like Tara was nothing more than the person Willow thought will alway be there, no matter what. Willow knew Tara had already lost her mind once because of Glory. And then she just does the same. Tara gives her a warning. Willow does it again. She didn't expect Tara to be serious and actually leave.

Willow was becoming dangerous. Her mind wasn't always clear anymore when it was about magic. And Tara was her collateral damage. She loved Willow, but she had to leave, for her own safety, and for Willow's sake. Willow needed a wake up call. She didn't take the warnings seriously. When Tara left her, it was to say "This is real. I'm not granted, I'm not your puppet, and your addiction has gone too far already."

I think things would have gotten worse if Tara had stay. I mean, if the person you are supposed to trust the most raped your body and your mind (twice) and doesn't see the harm she does to you, what will happen to you if you stay? How far can she go?
With Tara gone, Willow reached her worst point, which was kind of necessary for her to want to redeem herself and go easy with the magic. If Tara had stayed, Willow could have turn dark without Tara dies.
It starts with abusing and controlling your girlfriend and then? You start controlling everything else, tries to fix everything the way you want, and even tough you think your actions are for something good, they do more harm than good. Anakin Skywalker didn't have bad intentions either, but his growing obssession with doing things his way ended up *so bad*. The same could have happened with Willow.

So really, I fully support Tara for leaving!

 

[Chosen Enemy]

If she was already addicted prior to 'Wrecked', which I somewhat agree with, it was an addiction to power, she used magic excessively and without much judgment. The addiction Rack inflicts on her literally turns her spell casting into substance abuse.

Willow went to Rack because he was the "drug dealer". She was addicted to the drug and needed something even more powerful. The power she had wasn't enough. But I believe it WAS addiction to magic prior to Wrecked, not just the power.

Now I will say how this season was built, which I'm sure you noticed. This season was mostly about Buffy and Willow. Both had very similar stories, on purpose. They went into dark places, they got addicted. Buffy to Spike, and Willow to magic. They had to go through it all almost alone.

Buffy was addicted to the "power" Spike gave her, the feeling of something real and alive. Willow needed that power too which came through the magic, her addiction.

Willow's addiction started as something that didn't seem like an addiction. It was simply to help the others. She did feel more powerful as a witch than she was as a geeky girl whose help was mostly by reading books and searching the net.
Tara noticed that Willow's love for magic and power of helping started turning into addiction. She saw it coming. She knew Willow would suck into it. But it took a few years, from season 2, when she wanted to return Angel's soul.

After all that babbling, I'll just say, yes she was addicted to the power. But the addiction to magic-which WAS the power, it came much much earlier.

 

[Misty]

I'm a huge fan of Willow/Tara, but I do think it was right of Tara to leave. Willow was addicted to magic and she didn't stop using it even when Tara did try to help her. So basically, Tara couldn't do anything to stop Willow's addiction, unless she left her.

 

[LoveLoveLovix]

I don't think Tara should have left Willow... but as they likely didn't have Magical Rehabilitation Hospitals, Tara probably thought she was doing the best thing she could. She likely thought it would wake Willow up in sorts, enough for her to realize she needed help... and eventually, it seemed to. But I think they should have stayed together and sought help. If the right people had been called in, could it have ended differently for both of them? I think so.

 

[Tome]

Yes she was right. She had given a chance to Willow, and Will lied to her and tried to mess with her mind again. That's all on Willow. I honestly don't know how someone could blame Tara for leaving.

 

[TeamSunnydale]

As much as I love Tillow, I think Tara did the right thing by leaving. Willow needed to sit up and realize that what she was getting into was wrong. Even though willow hurting dawn was more of willow's wake up call. i think it hurt Tara to leave, but she knew that she was doing the right thing and i think that if tara stayed, they both would have still been unhappy, they would have argued and willow would have looked to Tara for excuses for her magic addiction.

 

[Scarlett Blade]

Tara was completely doing the right thing for herself in this situation. It must have been very hard to be violated like that by the person you love. And I'm sure Tara thought that it was the right thing for Willow for her to leave, and it very well might have been. I think though, that if Tara and the Scoobies could have been made more aware of Willow's situation, they could have worked together to come up with some kind of "therapy" for Willow, and it might have been a better situation for Willow's recovery than a sudden "jolt" like Tara's leaving. But all in all, Tara was completely justified for her decision, and I admire her for making such a difficult choice like that, especially since Willow was someone she loved with her whole heart.

 

[Dagenspear]

Yes. Tara was for sure right in that area. Willow violated her mind. That's really horrible. Tara had to leave. No question.

 

[Jay Jade]

Don't get me wrong, I love Tillow with all my heart, but Tara was absolutely right for leaving Willow when she did.

Tara trusted Willow, but when her mind was violated by her own girlfriend, Tara really had no choice.

Tara gave Willow a chance but Willow continued to mess with Tara's mind to fix things to her own liking. Tara didn't like that.

Tara didn't like Willow's magic abuse and Tara wasn't proud of Willow. Tara needed to leave, she was probably worried of being mind raped again.

Tara tried to help but Willow pretty much ignored her wishes.

It wasn't Tara's fault, it was all Willow's.

It must have hurt Tara to leave. It would have be a difficult decision for me so it must have been for her.

Tara gave up and left. She was tired of it.

And I don't blame her.