I agree he didn't know, he thought Buffy had told Riley everything as people who hang out with them already knew it was just Riley who didn't know, if Xander knew that Buffy didn't tell him, he would of kept his mouth shut.
Xander shouldn't have tried to hide the fact that there had been someone in Buffy's life before she met him, but beyond that I think that he should have pretty much kept out of it. What happened between Angel and Buffy was none of either Xander's or Riley's business unless and until Angelus came back. Probably 75% of Buffy's problems concerning her private non-Slayer life could have been avoided if her friends would have simply kept their noses out of it.
Xander certainly doesn't have any business discussing Buffy's personal relationships with anyone let alone Riley; but I don't think he was intentionally trying to cause trouble or get involved in Buffy and Riley's relationship. I think it just sorta slipped out before Xander even realized that he was talking about something he shouldn't have been.
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