We're all adults here -- let's talk peaceably

[yellowcrayon]

N.B. -- I'm putting this out where everybody can see it so that the grievances -- and any replies -- will be completely open and transparent. This way, nobody can complain they didn't hear anything, or that the story got warped in the retelling.

I am writing on behalf of The 29, and my other fellow members.

We, and many others (Harm's Way, Lemon, Floop695 etc.), see the sudden ban as both unfair and unnecessary. We are deeply saddened by what appears from our perspective to be a fault in the administration, and can only hope that things take a turn for the better.

Primarily, we feel hurt and confused about the reasoning behind the ban. We were told we "needed to take a time-out," but somehow this isn't supposed to be a punishment. With all due respect, that's a ridiculous statement. Any parent (or, indeed, forum admin) will tell you that a time-out is a punishment. You don't get a time-out unless you've done something wrong. This is particularly true here, since the only more extreme punishment -- let's call it what it is -- would be deleting our posts and/or accounts.

A ban is a ban. We're all reasonable adults here. If we've really done something wrong, if we've violated forum policy in some way, then we're more than willing to shut our mouths and take the ban like the grown-ups we are. But we deserve to know what we did.

Sweeping statements about "bullying," "infighting," and "nastyness [sic]" don't help us understand, especially when, for most of us, the ban came without any warning on the part of the mods. Many of us on the ban list pride ourselves on trying to be courteous, welcoming, and respectful. Please give specific instances of conduct that led to a given member's banning. Otherwise, to the world at large, it looks like you're suspiciously close to the very bullying and name-calling that you decry in others.

Justice is precise. Justice permits a hearing of the specific charges raised against an individual before that individual is punished.

Tyranny is dragging twenty-nine members out of their beds in the dead of night, saying "you're all traitors to the State," and shipping them all off to the Gulag. For just a little while. 'Cause it's not punishment, it's reeducation.

A silly simile? Maybe. Overdramatic? Probably. But it vividly illustrates the problem, from our perspective.

Each one of us just wants to know what specifically he or she did to deserve this. This isn't a rebellion. This isn't a refusal to accept any just punishment. This is only a petition for due process.

We love the administration. Really, we do. Which is why we want to give them the benefit of the doubt and wait for an explanation, even if it seems to us that the administration didn't extend us the same courtesy. The Golden Rule, y'know?

Thanks,

YC, the Twenty-Nine, and others

 

[Floop695]

I agree!

I’m still relatively new but I know that I wouldn’t have stayed for very long if it wasn’t from the warm welcomes from people! Funnily enough, all those people are banned now! (save one) If there’s ‘cliques’ they’re a positive thing!

They’ve welcomed many a newb in the short time I’ve been here. So, when you think about it, they’re the reason this place is welcoming.

I’ll tell you one thing though, a place where people are given “time outs’’ for having an opinion isn’t a welcoming place at all! If I joined at this time, I certainly wouldn’t come back.

It’s a sad day for members everywhere when we feel that we need to watch what we say with every post for the fear of getting a ‘time out’

 

[Harm]

Completely true, I agree with this whole statement and I hope that we can all talk peacefully.

 

[Floop695]

Also, to add to that.

I'm not attacking anyone and their beliefs/ideas but I havn't ever known this place to be infriendly until now.

Sure, people disagree but that's life. If we were all always friendly and in agreement, this place would be unrealistic and of no interest to most of us. It's like the news- who would actually sit their and watch it if there wasn't a new subject to rage about each day? We're people, we like to disagree. If people can't handle a little disagreement here and there, they've got some growing up to do, in my opinion.

 

[Willowsgirl]

I can honestly say that I have never felt bullied on this board. Quite the opposite. Most of the disagreements I have had has just been debates, nothing more. I haven't taken one of them personally. I'm not saying that people aren't bullied, I'm not on here 24/7 nor do I check every thread, so I don't know for certain. I'm not trying to challenge anyone of the administrators just to explain my experience on the board.

 

[TheReplacement]

I agree. I joined this board after my wife told me what an awesome place it was for buffy and angel fans to come and talk about the show, and how the people here were so cool. now my wife (hismrs) along with almost all the people who welcomed me when I finally joined are gone because of some pretty bullcrap reasons if I can see straight. If you're going to punish somebody for something, they need to know what the hell they did or else the punishment is pointless, dude. Brittany was never given any kind of warning for anything from what I've been told, and by my understanding, neither was anyone else. Banning folks before you tell them what they did to deserve it is bad business and if that's how it's gonna be around here, I won't stay.