What defines a relationship?

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LizzieRainbow

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Okay so me and my fiance are having a bit of a fight at the moment and he was saying that a relationship is a friendship but with sex?
I don't agree i think there is more to a relationship than this.



What do you all think? How do you define a relationship?
 
I have a hard time defining it but if you say it's just a friend that you have sex with it's more of a hmm I'm not sure the boards will allow me to write part of what I was going to. So lets just say that someone you have sex with from time to time when you feel like it or because you don't have someone special in your life at the moment. I at least wouldn't call that that person a boyfriend/girlfriend which I would call the partner in a relationship.

If you're in a relationship you have strong feelings that you don't have for friends and it's not only about lust and attraction although that usually plays a part too. But that might depend on why you're in a relationship to begin with I guess. For me it is because you love someone but that don't always seem to be the case for everyone (I'm not gonna go into other reasons. At least not right now). If you're in love you should know the difference between the feelings you have towards someone you love and just your friends. Even though you of course can love you friends too. Just in a different way. Or maybe I just haven't seen my friends in the right light yet. 😉
 
For me.. I think a relationship consists of two people, who once they know each other quite well, decide they can just about put up with each other. For the time being.
 
i really dont like your fiance's view on that!
i think a relationship is when two people want to make each other happy for the rest of their lifes! willing to spend as much time together as they can and enjoy it!
but it also means that they both have to work at it for life!
 
Weird definition imo too, so very Christian people, who decide to wait with sex till marriage, aren't really in a relationship than? To give an example.

A relationship isn't based on other sorts of ships (friendship - "sexship"?), it's a ship on itself. Which can't be expressed in just those two elements. If I make sense.
 
Hm. That definition is funny. I remember, I have this friend I used to sleep with regularly back when we were hanging out a lot. We had some talsk about that and he made it VERY clear that we were in fact NOT having a relationship. And I agree with him. So definitely no to your fiances definition.

What actually makes a relationship is realy different from person to person. I don't even know how to define it for myself. I guess it's more how you feel about each other than what exactly you're doing.
 
Thank you all so much 🙂 I feel a lot better knowing that him believing that without sex its just a friendship is wrong. You have all hepled me clear up a lot of stuff in my mind and hopefully it will help him realise what he is saying. 🙂
 
I think he's defined a type of relationship, but not the type he's trying to define. If that was the definition of a close and personal romantic type of relationship, then I think a bunch of f-buddies will be running for the hills.
 
Washburne
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spikeluvr185
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I think I understand what he means. My relationship with my husband didn't change much once we were in a relationship but for the sex. But in a marriage it's very different in the way that there's a whole new level of commitment. It's a new kind of support structure. But that develops naturally when you love one another and are devoted. I used to say that same thing to my husband. It's that quote: Love is friendship on fire.
 
For me a relationship is a lot more than just a friendship with sex.
Most of m relationships have come from very strong friendships and a lot changed in the friendship when it became a relationship.
Theres just a deeper connextion that goes beyond friendship and sex. I don't know how to explain it.
 
What defines a relationship and what defines love are two completely different things. There are many types of different relationships (even two people that hate each other have a relationship with one-another) and, equally, no two relationships are ever the same.

Personally, I define a romantic relationship as "love, friendship, and something indescribable that binds the two together". But that's based on my past romantic relationships. I could meet someone tomorrow that blows that out of the water, so-to-speak.

So basically, I have no idea!
 
joshuaunderpants said:
Two people define their own relationship.
Click to expand...
Gotta agree with that. "Sex + friendship = relationship" is true if you think it's true, and false if you think it's false. Myself, I tend towards the "false" side. 🙂

Love really doesn't help in the definition either; I would never call anyone a friend if I didn't love them... without love, people have no chance on Earth to go beyond "loose acquaintance" in my life. But then again, I don't define love on the basis of romantic emotion (a topic which would be a nice starter for a thread all of its own, btw... 😉 ). Neither would I have sex with anyone I don't love (but I wouldn't necessarily need to be friends with them to "go naughty", loving acquaintance is enough 😛 ). So for me, sex + friendship automatically includes love by default, twice... and still, it doesn't equal relationship. (Especially as sex-less 'shipping is possible, too IMO.)

Basically, I have no idea how to define "relationship" other than: It's what to people have who say they're "in a relationship". Pretty empty semantic concept, but I have no better one... not that I really feel a need to have one, either.
 
For me, friendship does play a large part of it. I don't think you can be in a committed relationship with someone who you don't see as a good friend as well as a lover. My fiance added though that there's a level of trust in a committed relationship that you need to have in order to make things work that goes beyond a friendship. I think that sounds about right, but I guess it's more however YOU feel comfortable defining the relationship
 
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