Something like...
(Location: A rather seedy motel room located exactly halfway between Sunnydale and Los Angeles [there's a Holiday Inn just down the road, but it's half a mile too close to Sunnydale])
Angel: Oh, Buffy, my darling, my love, my life, my...
Buffy: Don't "Darling" me, you self centered clod! Where were you all summer when the gang had to take up the slack for me and patrol the hellmouth? Where were you when Dawn was crying all night long because her big sister was gone? Where were you when...
Angel: Oh, but, my darling, my dearest, my...
Buffy: One more attempt at sweet talk and I'm gonna put my boot so far up your a** that you'll taste shoe polish for the rest of the month. Now, answer my question. WHERE WERE YOU?
Angel: I was so grief stricken by the loss of my one true...
Buffy: Angel, your a**, my foot. Now, stay focused. Why weren't you here helping my friends?
Angel: Oh, my d...(he stops in mid sentence went when Buffy silently points to her right foot and starts over) on a retreat to this monastery that I know when Buffy silently points to her right foot and starts over)
on a retreat to this monastery that I know of to meditate and come to terms with my great loss.
Buffy: A monastery? A MONASTERY?
Angel (warming to the subject): Well, it USED to be a monastery. Now it's sort of a health spa. There's indoor tennis, and art classes, and,,,Have you ever been horseback riding under a full moon? There's this beautiful lake, and several of us would go skinny dipping... (He gets no further, interrupted by Buffy's right fist colliding painfully with his jaw, sending him crashing to the floor)
Buffy: You went skinny dipping while my friends were risking their very lives in Sunnydale? You stupid, self centered, uncaring, disgusting... (She stops and takes a deep breath, bringing herself back under control with difficulty) WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF THAT WILL KEEP ME FROM STAKING YOUR A** RIGHT HERE AND NOW?
Angel (getting slowly back to his feet, adjusting his jacket to cover up the slight pot belly that he had developed over the summer from eating too much ice cream) : Just this one thing, and I'm sure that you can't deny it. (He pauses momentarily for effect, then says in a clear voice) If Kean had written this instead of the White Avenger, it would have been a helluva lot more romantic.
Buffy silently nods.
(Fade to black)
Dedicated all Bangels everywhere, but especially for my favorite one. You know who you are.