What happened after the finale. 2 parter. Reviews necassary for a part 2.

FaithsTruCallin

Slain by Faith
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
106
Age
41
Location
Palm Springs, CA
Please, I know that writing an ending to add onto the ending of Angel is cliché, but I don't care, I want to write a fan fiction!

As Angel watched the demons charge at him and his friends he couldn't help but think, *this is our job, this is what we do. We die* "Let's go to work". Angel slammed his sword against the first blow he saw coming at him and all the charging stopped. All the demons took a step back, some cowering in fear.

Illyria couldn't help but wonder what these demons we up to, *SLAM*. Illyria slammed Gunn over her shoulder because he surprised her by resting on her. Gunn looked up at Illyria dying "Dragon". Illyria looked back and saw the dragon standing on the fence that was behind them. The dragon swooped at Angel and Illyria grabbed a trashcan and threw it at Angel just in time as the dragon blew fire and flew by. The dragon kept going slamming threw the crowds of demons causing many of them to die. The dragon flew out of site and landed on top of the Hyperion perched thinking of how he messed up. The demons that remained, which were many, charged at the gang. Spike ran to Angel and grabbed his sword helping Angel up.

Spike hit his sword against another as Angel saw Gunn on the floor. Angel ran to Gunn and picked him up on the floor. He led him to the gate and a demon grabbed him threw the fence. They were surrounded by demons and they were closing in slowly. Spike and Illyria doing their best to hold them back. Angel led Gunn away from the fence and put him against a door. It was a door into the Hyperion. In all his fear and excitement Angel had forgotten that they were behind the Hyperion. Angel let Gunn rest on the door and went to help Spike in his battle, but when he turned around a demon was flying through the air in a charge at him. He shielded himself to let the blow come as it wanted. He couldn't dodge the blow; he knew he couldn't survive. Gunn fell backwards as the door he was resting on opened inwards. Suddenly an axe flew out the door and over Gunn's head knocking the demon that was flying toward Angel out of the air. Gunn looked up to see who threw it. Lorne.

Angel ran inside "Come on Spike! Illyria!" As they ran to the door dozens of demons were going to get there before them. Angel stood in hope. Lorne slammed the door shut.
"We can't help them" Lorne whined exasperated. He ran to Wesley's old office. "I guess Wesley left some of his books behind."

"The door's going to shatter" Gunn said knowing he was going to die anyway, but worried about his friends. He let out a twinge of pain. The door was breaking open and"¦

"Expherious Nocturnous." Lorne said reading one of Wesley's books. "They can't get in now. It's solid. The only thing that can break through is a God. The thing is it doesn't even have to try, if it touches it, it will leave a gaping hole in the wall. But I don't think they have any God's out there."

"If not I will probably meat a really powerful one any second now. I'll let him know that he's coveted. Uggh." Gunn let out a final moan and vowed to himself that he was going to die like a man. He wasn't going to moan and wish he had done the things he never even thought of doing when he was alive. "I'm going Angel. I love you"¦" pause "dude."

Angel looked relieved. "Right. I love you too Gunn" They grasped hands and Gunn looked directly in his eyes as his head fell limp and we was to forever look into nothing. Angel looked up at Lorne.

"If they get through that barrier than we are done for. Just you and I can't possibly"¦" *BANG*. Angel went flying through the air as something from the outside crashed into him from the outside.

"What was that Angel? Oh my god. She's alive, but only Gods can break through that."

"I guess the spell works for old ones too." Angel looked at Illyria who was covered in dust from the wall.

"I hurt. Let me go back out and avenge."

"Where's Spike?"

"All over me." The demons started to poor in from the hole in the wall. "I guess I can avenge right here." Angel picked her up and put her over his shoulder as she kicked and punched at him to let her down while he ran up the stairs to the bedrooms.

Lorne was trapped. He tried to run from Wesley's office but when he got behind Cordelia's old desk he saw all the demons and knew there was no hope. He ran back inside and locked the doors. He hid under Wesley's desk and the demons didn't just break through the door, they broke through the entire wall. *Close up on Lorne's face and it pans out to see 10 or so demons sneaking up the desk with Lorne unaware. *
"Hush little green guy don't say a word, demons gonna kill you"¦ a mocking bird." Pause "What? I couldn't think of anything to"¦" Suddenly the desk Lorne was under flew from the ground and slammed into his face, throwing him against a wall, killing him. The swords all came at him so suddenly Lorne could feel them clink inside of himself as he saw all the demons that were left after the dragons rampage chase after Angel and Illyria. Everything was in slow motion. He counted thirty and still seemed to have time to spare. Suddenly he saw his mother giving birth to him. His life was flashing before his eyes.

"Oh God, can't you do me a favor and make her not be the last thing I see? Awe, Freddykins." And Lorne was gone.

To be continued

Previews for next week ** Angel and Illyria trapped inside of a room surrounded by 30 demons. Will they survive? What do you think? **

PLEASE, give me some feedback, good? bad? should I even bother to write a part 2? voice your opinion now. I already got the end planned, so... should I put it into words?
 
i like how its really detailed. i can see you're not afraid to kill people off as well. i wish gun would have lasted a bit longer, but i can see why he didnt. but good writing though, i'm waiting on part 2 to see if u let anyone live 🙂
 
Hmmm, I'm not one to speak seeing as my fics suck, however...I am a beta reader and my eyes caught quite a few things in this fic.

It was a interesting read, nothing catchy or touching just well written. Confusing in areas and yes...with you killing everybody of I'm left kinda knowing who's gonna go next. So no surprises. Not a bad thing though, like I said it was an interesting read.

Dialogue and wording is something that I tend to look at. You used 'slam' alot during fight scenes, not a bad thing just maybe using other verbs might catch your reader's attention and give them a better picture of the fight scenes. A few other things really made me go 'ick' but not a bad thing! Remember, just my personal view. With the dialogue, keeping your Character Thought and Speech patterns in character is VERY important.

A few spelling mistakes, but I make those aswell, so I wasn't bothered.

Like I said, an interesting read. As for wanting PT. 2...it would be interesting to see what you have in mind of a model End of Angel.

Much Love to ya,
 
ah ha!... So that's why noone replied... "Your thread has been moved"... thanx guys. I just thought no one liked it... 🙂
unspokenwords said:
Dialogue and wording is something that I tend to look at. You used 'slam' alot during fight scenes, not a bad thing just maybe using other verbs might catch your reader's attention and give them a better picture of the fight scenes. A few other things really made me go 'ick' but not a bad thing! Remember, just my personal view. With the dialogue, keeping your Character Thought and Speech patterns in character is VERY important.
I get what you're saying. thank you for the constuctive critisism. I will start to write part 2. Unfortunatly, since you thought that it wa predictable I will have to change a few things. Maybe add a good plot twist that I just thought of. HAHAHAHAHA!!! i LOVE YOU GUYS. oops, capslock, sorry. I g2g to school now... maybe I'll write it there. Stupid history.

btw... Gunn saying "I love you [catches himself]... dude" that was a joke that was meant to be out of character. I look at it now... it's not as obvious as when I wrote it.
 
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