What is Xander's Problem?

[drtroy]

Okay..don't get me wrong..I love Xander..and everything..but why was he DAMN judgemental..?Just throughout the show..he has made some pretty stupid mistakes..and no one ever besides Giles has called him on it..or threw it up in his face...but for some reason he loved to point out when everyone else made a mistake.


Plus the whole Willow thing pissed me off..I think he had an idea before that she liked him..and of course he wants her only because was with Oz..and he made Oz seem like such a bad guy..

Then the whole Bangel thing..even if he had not turned evil he was looking for things wrong about him...I hated the school girl crush he had on Buffy..I mean c'mon she doesn't like you..and you don't WANT to see her happy..

I know he cared about her..but honestly it just pissed me off..and he was so insensitive about the whole Angel thing. I mean even Giles forgave her! And all Xander can say is oh..I was right..oh I knew it..it's such BS...

Sorry for the rant.

 

[zombie.apparatus]

well first off... i can agree with you on the fact that Xander has made mistakes and he was annoying here and there.. I do like Xander but way you have said basically states what I think also... I liked Xander way better when they all left high school.. he became a much better person

 

[What happened to good TV?]

'for some reason he loved to point out when everyone else made a mistake.'

He was the guy who saw things. It was his 'role'. He also pointed out when he made his own mistakes. He spoke his mind. I don't think this was a bad thing.

'of course he wants her only because was with Oz'

erm..I didn't think so. I just think it took him that long to reaise that Willow was in fact a woman. A hot woman. She'd always been just 'best friend' Willow. I also don't think he 'wanted' her. It was just them making up for the time that they'd spent not doing those things (eg footsy under the table) Xander finally woke up.

'Then the whole Bangel thing..even if he had not turned evil he was looking for things wrong about him...I hated the school girl crush he had on Buffy..I mean c'mon she doesn't like you..'

ander didnt like Angel. I thought it made his character far more interesting, like when he didnt tell buffy willows message truthfully. Plus I liked the fact he had a crush on buffy. It made the Willow/Xander relationship more sweet. When willow always used to try and flirt and xander was into buffy. He was doing what every guy in the audience was. Liking the new hot girl. (Buffy)

'and you don't WANT to see her happy..'
Huh?

 

[postmortem]

I don't think Xander had a problem. He was 'the eye' of the group, he was pointing out the obvious. And on his crush on Buffy being out-of-place and unnecessarily being long; he was a teenager, Buffy was hot, it was high school, everything looks normal to me here.

 

[Kimm]

I have to agree to a certain extent that there were times I thought Xander was out of line. He sometimes had a "holier than thou" attitude that annoyed me but I still really loved his character.

 

[watcher1006]

It seemed very human to me that Xander just took Willow for granted, didn't pick up on the signals Willow was sending to him, wouldn't think of her as anything but a friend until Oz got interested in her, THEN he started getting jealous (even though he was already getting involved with Cordelia at that point).

I got annoyed at him at some points in the series, but often I agreed with him when he said what I thought needed to be said to Buffy. He blasts her in "When She Was Bad". Then in the finale "Becoming Pts. I & II" he is clearly annoyed at her when a similar disaster happens to the gang. I watched part of "Dead Man's Party" on the FX Network this morning and I understand why he was saying the things he did to her about her leaving and coming back. Of course he couldn't know the whole story but you can't blame him for that.

One thing about the S3 DMP episode-I really wished we could have seen more of the Scoobies thrashing out their gripes with each other. It kind of felt like the Night of the Living Dead story was getting in the way, though I guess that's a discussion for the Season 3 section.

 

[hyperballadbrad]

He wasnt just the 'eye'..... he was a teenage, hormonal boy and we all know how dumb they can be!!! ANd I think a lot of his wild statements and opinionated attitude come from that.

That and he's just being really protective!

 

[postmortem]

He wasnt just the 'eye'..... he was a teenage, hormonal boy and we all know how dumb they can be!!! ANd I think a lot of his wild statements and opinionated attitude come from that.

That and he's just being really protective!

Protective or Procative? (or maybe both?)

 

[angeldarla]

i just didn't like one of xander's attitude, with spike in Forever. Spike only wanted to give flowers to buffy, no card. i think xander was really cruel. the only buffy's boyfriend that he liked was riley, cause riley wasn't a vampire like spike or angel.

 

[The Watcher]

I totally agree with you. He's always interfering and bad-mouthing any other male that talks to Buffy (besides Giles).

 

[caileybeth]

I think it is deeper than Xander just being the 'eye'.

I think he points out flaws and is judgemental of other people because, as we see in Seasons 3 & 4, he thinks he is fairly worthless. IT's like he's doing it to make himself feel better about his own insecurities.

Just like in Real Life! Man, that's why I love Buffy. 😀

 

[Whistler]

i just watched xander in reptile boy. xander dancing as a girl = hilarity

 

[Randy Giles]

I've never liked Xander that much, he only seems to be good the occasional funny line and occasional uplifting speech. He acted like a little bitch, and complained far, far, far too much for my liking, and I agree with OP, he was too judgmental. Did Angel ever actually do anything to him? I think he was just jealous of Buffy and Angel's relationship and never did learn that Angel had more good qualities than bad.

He was going fairly good when he was with Anya and then he went and dumped her, which was extremely retarded. I mean, he proposed to her, was supposedly so in love, then found out his visions were fake, but he still broke up with her. I don't buy that he did it because he loved her and didn't want to hurt her down the road - if he thought there was any truth to the visions, the solution is simple, make sure you don't let yourself change in those ways. If he wanted, and if he was originally going to change like that, actively trying to be different could make a huge difference. And regardless, every single thing you do in life is a risk and with every person you have a relationship with (romantically or otherwise), someone could end up getting hurt. If he loved her he would've tried to make that work anyway.

But after "Hell's Bells" he never did seem to redeem himself and by series' end he was just lame.

 

[The Arcane]

But after "Hell's Bells" he never did seem to redeem himself and by series' end he was just lame.

Huh? Never redeemed himself? He saved the world from being destroyed by a power mad witch. I'd say that redeems him from walking out of a marriage. 😉

Honestly, Spike and Angel kill and torture thousands of people and then we let them off because they save the world. Xander walks away from his wedding day and NOTHING is ever enough! 😛

 

[Schillaci]

I appreciated that Xander left Anya at the alter, his reasons for doing so were quite valid, it gave him depth.

 

[Randy Giles]

Huh? Never redeemed himself? He saved the world from being destroyed by a power mad witch. I'd say that redeems him from walking out of a marriage. 😉

Honestly, Spike and Angel kill and torture thousands of people and then we let them off because they save the world. Xander walks away from his wedding day and NOTHING is ever enough! 😛

Spike and Angelus were soulless when they did the things they did, now weren't they?

 

[sosa lola]

Spike and Angelus were soulless when they did the things they did, now weren't they?

Then I guess there's no problem with Xander hating them, now would it?

 

[palabravampiress]

Huh? Never redeemed himself? He saved the world from being destroyed by a power mad witch. I'd say that redeems him from walking out of a marriage. 😉

Honestly, Spike and Angel kill and torture thousands of people and then we let them off because they save the world. Xander walks away from his wedding day and NOTHING is ever enough! 😛

So true!

I liked Xander, but, yeah. He was judgmental. That's part of my theory on why he and Angel never got along. They were very much alike in that way. But, then again, he never did get along with other guys, did he?

That Hell's Bell's stuff... it really tore me up. He was becoming such a good man. He had a job, a soon-to-be-wife, a role in the group... he was maturing by leaps and bounds! But then he just let his old insecurities sneak up and ruin all of that for him and for Anya, too. At least he was judgmental about himself, too. I mean, really, that whole wedding thing was about him judging himself harshly for all of his own flaws.

 

[Kean]

I adore Xander but I have always had issues with his issues!! The way he treated Buffy during the whole Angelus thing and when she returned was so harsh, like she planned or wanted everything that happened to happen! he never saw anything from her side, he was always so blinkered! Even whe Buffy calls him out in about him not teling her about Willow doing the spell for angel all he does is reply 'That was different'...yeah because it wasn't his demon going nuts that time!

 

[sosa lola]

Xander was far from perfect, and that's what I liked about him. I like a character that's not always right, and makes mistakes from time to time. Selfless was a turning point for Xander, after that episode, he became less quiet and more accepting of the gray in the world. He sees life differently than he used to and came to accept Spike more as part of them.