Ok- here we go
I was raised Catholic (how many times has this been written on this page? lol), but now I am non-denominational Christian. God and Jesus were definitely a held truth in my upbringing. My father passed away when I was 3 and so my mom raised my brother and me herself so her faith really led her through it. I never really got anything out of mass or the sacraments though, God seemed like this big bad in the sky that was out to get me when I did something wrong. I remember vividly being so afraid God was going to punishment for my wrongs and when I saw people rejoice in the Lord, I didn't understand at all. So, I've always believe in God, but I never understood why people rejoiced in Him. So, I was a "Christian" because I went to church on Sundays. Fast forward to me declining my acceptance to an ivy league school and going to Florida State University expecting to have the typical college experience: hanging out, being focused on the partying (I don't drink or do drugs as alcoholism and addiction runs in my family, but just the idea of a completely carefree lifestyle) and I got roped into attending some functions of the campus ministry, Christian Campus Fellowship. I remember thinking these people a) don't actually deal with the same things I deal with or b) aren't owning up to how hard it is to be a Christian in this world.
As I started hanging out with them and talking about Jesus and God and really started to get what being a Christian is. I used to think that it meant you somehow stopped sinning or at least didn't want to sin anymore. I've come to find that to be a Christian, it means I suck. I. Suck. I suck so much, that I was right: I can't get into Heaven by myself. I can't live up to the standards God has for me. But it's ok, because God felt so bad for this world, so bad for me and for the ones who can't do it, that he sent his only son into the world to die for our sins. To be completely separated from God and to take the heat for how much of a screw-up I am. And that is the biggest act of love I could ever imagine. That God wanted to save me, not when I cleaned myself up, or when I got myself in order, that in the midst of the worst things I do, he still would die for me so that I can have life after death.
Don't get me wrong, I have days- weeks, where I feel like I can't feel God there. But I do believe in Jesus and that He is my savior and that as long as I keep is law of love and love Him and those around me, and try to do the things He wants for me, He'll be there to pick up the slack when I screw up. So, I'm pretty open that I go to church, my boyfriend and I are waiting until marriage to have sex, and that I do believe in Jesus
BUT
I almost hate admitting I am Christian to people, out of fear the people think I will now hold them to my beliefs. I promise you, I don't. If you're not Christian, why would hold you to a doctrine you don't believe in? I don't go around telling non-christians that they better be Christians, that's not my job. If what you have and what you are doing is working for you, then keep on keeping on. All I can ever say in responce to the great commission is that I have found what I believe to be true and offers me salvation, peace and happiness - things I hope everyone can find. I am very open about what I believe, and would be absolutely more than happy to discuss any of my beliefs.
That said. I have a very strong tie to the LGTBQ community. I am straight but I have many friends who are gay, in fact, one of my roommates is openly gay. I have done my research with translations and bible editions and all that, and I get that I am only 20 years old, but I haven't found any real evidence that being gay or living that lifestyle is against God. Please, message me if you want, but to think that God would make someone gay and then tell them not to love who they love is cruel, and God isn't cruel. Also, to tell people to just stop being gay and that being gay is a choice is absolutely retarded. "Pray away the gay?" Ya, no. That'd be like someone telling me to stop being straight. Sorry, I like boys. And to think that anyone would inhibit someone from marrying someone else because they are the same gender is absolutely ridiculous.
To sum up because this is so long:
I am a Christian who does have faith that Jesus Christ is my savior. I am open to discuss further what I believe with anyone, but I do NOT walk around thinking everyone else just needs to be "saved." I can only testify that Christianity is what I have found to be true and so I have given my life to Buffy. Please don't ever be afraid that you're going to offend me or you feel like you can't say or do things around in fear of offending me: I'm not offended by anything and think the song "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" is the best thing ever and was in fact my ringtone for months. And if you're gay/bisexual/unknown, I personally apologize for everything that has been done to take away your rights or make you feel bad in the name of Christianity. That is not the loving God I know from the Bible and we owe you a huge apology. As Xander says, "get the gay show on the gay road."
ANYWAY BOY I SURE DO LOVE BTVS
