Bad Dreams
This morning (about 5am), I woke up from the worst dream EVER! I dreamt my husband had died. D; D; D; His dad was streaking thru the house and went and laid down on our bed. I asked him please to lie on his own bed 'cause I still wanted it to smell like Chi. I BURST into tears, ran out of the room and threw myself on the bathroom floor. Then I got a text from Chi's ghost asking me to come meet him in the parking garage. I didn't have clothes on, but I went anyway. I had to see him! I saw him leaning against the wall, playing with his cellphone, and I ran to his arms and burst into tears again, saying I couldn't do it without him alive.
I have trippy dreams.
I woke up SOBBING to my husband (IRL) saying, "Shh shh, Ashley, shh, it's ok..." and holding me tight. The fact that he was dead but still there in my dream didn't help much when I'm in a sleeping stupor and wake up to him being there (He could have been a ghost!). Anyway, I couldn't stop sobbing for, like, an hour. I almost hyperventilated and threw up. :-X
The 'happy' in this, you ask? My husband is very much alive! :-D He came to check on me in the bathroom, and I saw a giant evil terrible dragon scorpion centipede bug in the bathtub, but refused to let him get it (he usually takes care of the hellbeasts) because I didn't want him to get stung and die. So I got it... *flexes muscles*. ...I threw shampoo bottles at it... repeatedly. He laughed with/at me and hugged me and resisted the urge of acting like he'd gotten stung (He usually would to freak me out, but this time he was being sweet). He told me that every time it seems like we're falling into a routine, I do something spazzy to reaffirm that I'm his favorite person in the world, that while he hates that I had such an awful experience, in some weird way it really meant a lot, because he could tell how much I loved him. I was super glad he said that, 'cause I was worried I was driving him crazy (He had to be up early for work). Another happy thing is that this dream made me realize that I really did 134098% love him more than anything or anyone else ever. NoTHING had ever affected me that way, and I pray nothing ever will. I told him he wasn't allowed to die; he said he wasn't planning on it. 🙂
