What should my next step be with this girl?

[Robb Stark]

Okay, so before I get into detail I want you all to be aware that I'm turning to the internet for dating advice, something that I never do. But, I want to make sure I get this right, and I'm not sure what to do on my own.

I met a girl on campus a week ago or so, and we got to talking a few times walking back from class (different classes, but same general area). I asked her for her number the other day, and she gave it to me. I called her yesterday to ask if she wanted to go out today, and she said she couldn't because she was busy with friends. I asked if she wanted to get together some time next week and she yes, but she'd have to check her schedule and text me back.

So my question is...what now? I hate, and I mean hate, the game. If I'm interested in a girl, I want to tell her so, but you can't always just do that, so I have to go against how I'd like to act. Problem is, I already really like her, and I don't want to screw it up by coming on too strong. Then again, I don't want to just let it linger either, and not see her again. I don't know if I'll pass her again by chance.

What do you guys think? And please be aware that I'm hating writing this right now 😡, but it's frustrating. I can't see any problem with calling her in a day or so and telling her I'm into her, but everyone I've talked too has said not to do that. Shows you how good I am at the whole dating thing.

 

[brinkster130]

Maybe try texting her sometime next week and seeing if she has any free time? Or if you do run into her again you can kinda see where shes at by how the conversation goes.

 

[TotallySpiked]

Hmm. It's tough because every girl is different (obviously haha). I'd wait for her to text you first and for her to let you know when she's free. The 'check my schedule' was either the truth or an easy let-down; to me it's sounds like the first one because she already gave you her number, which suggests she's interested. BUT maybe she just wants to be friends.
So I think just wait to see if she texts you with her 'availability' days- depending on if/when she does that, you'll know the next move.
I would agree with most people about no grand gesture of feeling sharing only because it freaks me out when people do that haha.
Hope I've helped!! 🙂

 

[Robb Stark]

Hmm. It's tough because every girl is different (obviously haha). I'd wait for her to text you first and for her to let you know when she's free. The 'check my schedule' was either the truth or an easy let-down; to me it's sounds like the first one because she already gave you her number, which suggests she's interested. BUT maybe she just wants to be friends.
So I think just wait to see if she texts you with her 'availability' days- depending on if/when she does that, you'll know the next move.
I would agree with most people about no grand gesture of feeling sharing only because it freaks me out when people do that haha.
Hope I've helped!! 🙂

Lol, **gulp**, I hadn't thought about that being an easy letdown. That would be strange though. I mean, why give me her number in the first place? I did make it fairly clear when I asked her out that I was, well, asking her out. I don't normally get like this. If a girl doesn't get back to me it usually doesn't bother me, but it's bothering me now, and it's been less than a freaking day!

And I didn't mean getting all gushy or anything like that. I have just never understood why people, both guys and girls, would rather the other party have them play coy and distant if that's not how they feel. I don't get that. I mean, I want to just say, to quote the immortal Xander Harris, "hey, I like you. Let's find a time to go out. If not, that's fine". I just wish I could do that lol.

 

[Steven123]

There's never really any 'specific' advice as everything and every situation in relation to this can turn out differently. As a sort of 'general rule', see what happens. If you go out on a date you want to keep it casual, coffee,walk in the park, maybe a movie or go out for a bit to eat etc, you don't really want to force the issue so early on, even if you want to tell her your interested, this is in effect your first date, and you don't really want to put her off by coming on to heavy. Find out what she's into, hobbies etc, and then build on that, if she likes reading for example,maybe you could have a weekly get together in the library? Sounds boring, but there's probably no better way to develop together.

In truth it really is hard to tell, she might know what you feel that way about her,but then again she might just think that you want to be friends before going down that route. All you can do is see what happens, if she doesn't feel that way about you right now, there's nothing to say she won't in the future.

 

[iShower4free]

I would definitely give her a little time to get in touch with you.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Send her a card. (Not something to do with a phone message or an e-mail) A real card.
The message could be something that is not 'gushy' but it implies what it says,
(the message is) Thinking of you.
Get a card with a yellow rose on the front.
A yellow rose means rememberance,
a picture of a red rose might be a bit much.
Oh yes, the important part, make sure you don't send the card on Valentines day. Maybe the 13th, that might be best.

 

[Pike]

I would await for a text. If she never sends one then I would just have to move on or play the waiting game. The last thing you want to do is come across desperate or overpowering. If she is interested, she will call or text back, imo. Just hold off, man

 

[Kurai]

Not the kinda guy to ask (I'm pretty much the character Michael Cera plays in every movie he's in), but I'll give it a shot:

In the rare occasion that I take an interest in someone (which is pretty rare), I'll try and get to know them a bit better first, and then eventually ask them out when I feel the time is right. Usually, I end up having a plan of how I want things to happen, but things usually end up going differently to the way I planned. But yeah, I say get to know them first, and then when you feel it's right, tell her how you feel, and/or ask her out.

Oh, and do it in person, not over text. It's much more effective in person

 

[Nix]

I'd try and strike up a small conversation via text, not about meeting up just about how her day is going and such like...see if and how she responds and start from there... you might only get a few texts in a week (then I'd say she was only interested in being friends) but if she texts you lots then ask her again at the end of next week about meeting up.

 

[Gum Gnome33]

I'm embarrassed to say that in my single days I was sometimes one of those "play hard to get" kind of girls. *hangs head in shame.* Honestly, my gut says wait for her to contact you. There could be so *many* reasons why you haven't heard from her, which range from her just genuinely wanting to be just friends and not knowing how to tell you, to very much wanting to date you but still caught up on someone else--and a thousand things in between. Ladies can be quite confusing sometimes, (as can men!)

In any case, she might just need to work through a few things before she's ready to go out with you. If another week or so goes by and you haven't heard anything, DON'T make any grand gestures; maybe just a really topical text--(some witty comment having to do with one of your classmates/favorite songs, etc).

 

[SinisterPledge]

Wow okay I know what you're going through. I got out of a situation like that a few months ago and it tore me up... Great words of comfort... sorry... 🙁 The game sucks and the worst part is the waiting/not knowing...

Anyway, I'd wait until she calls/text you. If you haven't heard from her when it's like... Thursday maybe, I'd text her asking her whats up and if she has any free time to hang out. Your text should be very casual though, not desperate. I REALLY hope she answers you after that, otherwise you'll be feeling like some kind of desperate stalker guy... It's horrible.

Anyway that's my advice. Don't know if I'm the one to listen to, but I know what you feel and I really, honestly hope you get this girl! Good luck man! 🙂

 

[Living Dead Boy]

Ask her if she's into that little show called Buffy The Vampire Slayer. If the answer's no, the girl's gotta go. 😉

No seriously, I understand where you're coming from. I would say you have to wait it out. She said she'll text you back, so hopefully she will. Like others have said, you don't want to come across as desperate for her attention. Even though you probably are. 🙂 But there's no right or wrong advice for these things, ultimately. What works for some may not work for others.

 

[dexeded]

...You've only known her a week. It's a bit early to be getting desperate.

 

[Sweet J]

Just tell her you started a thread about her on the internets. That is sure to win her over!😀

Honestly, if she doesn't reply. Find something fun happening in your area in the next few days (something that she might be inclined to go to anyway) and ring or text her that you've been really busy lately and meant to text her earlier, but you heard about this gig/event, (or some other non-intimate group type thing) and you and your friends are going to check it out and you wanted to see if she and her friends heard about it.

That way you get to go to a gig(a win) hang out and see if there is any magic between you two(another win), and don't freak her out by coming on too strong(triple win). Charlie Sheen will have nothing on you then man. You'll be sweating tiger blood, it'll be seeping out of your freaking eyes.😎

 

[Nix]

Sooo what's happened with this then [MENTION=11975]Always Bangel[/MENTION] ?

 

[Robb Stark]

Sooo what's happened with this then [MENTION=11975]Always Bangel[/MENTION] ?

In short...nothing.

She never called me back, and about a week later I sent her a text that never got answered. I figure at this point, it's not happening, and that's fine. I just find it pretty lame that you would give someone your number, tell them to call, and then not ever answer. I mean, if she's not into me, no problem, I understand, but have the guts to say so, and not just string me along.

Maybe I'm just different, but I've never done that to anyone.

 

[Nix]

Aww that sucks, sorry to hear that. Yes it is very lame of her to ignore a call and text. Shows she does not deserve you anyway!! Time to find someone that does 🙂

 

[TotallySpiked]

That sucks! I've never understood why someone gives their number out if they have no intention of following it further. I'm sorry! Definately find someone who is worth your time.

 

[Robb Stark]

That sucks! I've never understood why someone gives their number out if they have no intention of following it further. I'm sorry! Definately find someone who is worth your time.

Thanks. Honestly, I think it's just a cowardly thing to do. I'd way rather a girl shoot me down and say no if I ask her out then say yes, give me her number and make it seem like things are moving, when really they're just too scared to say no. That's weak. I mean, why make someone feel like crap when you don't have to?