So I've been thinking about music and how its had an impact on me. Big songs in my life associated to memories or that have changed me in some way, or have allowed some expression of emotion. So If I share mine, will you share yours? lol... You don't have to say why, just share the music and see if anyone has the same song maybe?
Warning... Mine are a bit dark so I have realised! Here are a few.
Someone as introspective as me who has listened to a lot of music could go into this a lot, and how inspiring, saddening, both, and more that music has been. Explaining the effects of Tchaikovsky and Chopin upon me (which can fill me with hope or bring me to tears) would probably be a bit too surreal and unless you've experienced something similar I'm not sure I could explain it, especially not in text form.
Here's something that would probably confuse many people familiar with both: two of my favorites that speak to the most are Dar Williams (pop folk) and Bella Morte (darkwave and death rock).
Given that the previously shared tends to the morbid (and I believe the last "share a video" tended to the depressing or grim as well), I thought I'd share an example that I think is interesting if nothing else. About a couple of years before I joined BB, I gave an interview to an author on what it's like to be a kid living on the streets outside the law (back in the 90s anyway). I felt fine doing it, not upset at all, but then I immediately became obsessed with this song (and it played in my head even when I wasn't playing it):
This song that I liked well enough before was now my obsession for unknown reasons, and I got chills from it, particularly from lyrics like:
Mirror, what's inside me?
Tell me, can a heart can be turned to stone?
Mirror, mirror, what's behind you?
Save me from the things I see
I can keep it from the world,
why won't you let me hide from me?
Mirror, mirror...tell me something
Who's the loneliest of all?
In addition, my own fictional stories (I worked on several at the time) took a common theme I'd rather not explain and I had some vivid and powerful dreams came with it (it was talking about one such dream that allowed me to finally realize what it was, and once I did the obsession instantly went away and has never come back).
What confused me the most was why "loneliest of all" resonated so much when loneliness has rarely been a problem for me. If anything, I spend more time wishing I had a bit more time by myself. I don't recall feeling lonely back as a kid on the streets for the most part (though I didn't immediately connect this song to the interview I gave though the obsession with it started immediately after that, just simply baffled by my strange obsession with this song), What was fighting to come to the surface was how many adults I had looked up to had lied and manipulated me, used me, and I thought they were people I could trust. While they didn't have the vile practices or aims of a pimp, I was still exploited for criminal ends, and had things went badly, I'd been hung out to dry while they scurried back to their hidey holes and honed a new instrument. I was a disposable object to them, not a person, while I thought they had actually cared for me.
And that, in turn, reminded me of how my mom also used me, either as revenge against her own mother, and later to get child support (which was used mostly on her own addictions that she couldn't get with other welfare), and many of the adults who I thought took sympathy being on the streets who helped me were actually helping themselves just as my mom did, and they poisoned my mind against a system (though it is deeply flawed) so that I wouldn't even think of going for help or escaping them. I looked up to these people and felt a pathetic sense of gratitude to them only to realize in retrospect that they were callously using me, and playing me like a musician expertly plays an instrument, and similar to how my mom exploited me. It was not only betrayal, it HURT because I cared for them, and thought they had cared for me, but now realize they just saw me as a foolish kid to exploit (which makes me more sympathetic to Connor being used by Jasmine even though I don't relate to that character).
The moment the full realization became conscious, the obsession with this song was gone, not playing in my head anymore, and my going back to thinking the song is okay. (My dreams and story themes also went back to normal.)
Though in a vaguely similar way, this Animatic also had (and has) a powerful effect on me:
It goes back to when I was briefly alone on the streets and was nearly murdered. In a metaphorical way it spoke to me of that time, and gave me the realization that in a way, part of me WAS murdered and still back there. The rest of me just hasn't caught up yet...and I have, for years before hearing the Wolf Song, always felt I was (and am) living on borrowed time. It inspired me to have a private funeral for that part of me (which until now I only shared with my closest friends, and they thought it was morbid), and I played this song for it (along with some Chopin).
But to leave a more positive note, I relate to this song a lot. I don't walk around depressed, quite the opposite, and I listen to it a lot:
I'll think about adding a couple of powerful (to me) songs set to Buffy later on.
Post automatically merged:
Hear are the two Buffy vids set to a song
I've shared enough, so just enjoy the dark, grim vids set to Buffy next to songs that I can relate to (or could at one time) in one way or another.
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NovemberI love reading about your life, and am not familiar with these songs. Thanks for posting!
Some great songs and stories here! Its interesting at different parts of life, which songs and memories come to the forefront for me. Its a beautiful calm rainy day here. My mind starts to humm. Songs we used to sing in chior pop up. Music that was so ingrained into my head, I feel calm when sing it. Its doesnt bring memories as much as that content "right wavelength" type feeling.
This is the song that was in mind today - this is a spin on it, which includes very much how our teachers taught us. It gives me a laugh and includes all the different parts of music learning that do slip into my head when I enjoy the outdoors. Some days I completely lose touch with music and I am miserable, then other times I can really feel the connection all all levels, that the sound of my voice is impacting my environment, the notes in my head all clicking together, the fun of the motions and handsigns to (try) and hit notes. Those are the days worth living for.
My anxiety was off the charts this morning. I really dont have insight into when it is that incredibly bad. I was bushwalking when the first song slipped into mind and now at home looking it up has really lifted my mood - thanks for the thread @Nix!
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I’ve still got the scars that the sun didn’t heal
There’s not even room enough to be anywhere
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there...
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there...
I know it looks like I’m moving, but I’m standing still...
I’ve been walking forty miles of bad road
If the Bible is right, the world will explode
I’ve been trying to get as far away from myself as I can...
I hurt easy, I just don’t show it
You can hurt someone and not even know it
The next sixty seconds could be like an eternity...
I know your love spotlight
Will never shine on me
I'm afraid to spend forever in the dark
Don't you wanna wake up with somebody beside you
There'll never be a home for me somewhere in your heart
My brain is speeding faster than my mouth can move
I'll sit still and silently observe the room
All I can think about are things I should not do
Where did my self-control go?
Did it rise up from my body when I answered the phone
And you told me not to lie to you
And I decided to tell the truth...
Thought I'd never let those things outside my head
Probably shoulda kept 'em locked away instead
All that's sacred comes from youth
Dedication, naive and true
With no power, nothing to do
I still remember, why don't you...don't you...
The very first 12inch vinyl I bought was Ten Years After WATT, it was released in 1970 that was the years I bought it. I narrowed down the main tracks that have made a bearing on my life, they are:
I wouldn't say any of these have had an impact as such...but they are usually my go to songs. Been lucky enough to see Imagine Dragons live and they will always be my favorite in terms of a live event I think. Their songs have always had a good meaning to me in one way or another. Also the last video I just think is an absolutely epic tune.
Music has had a big impact on my life since my late teens. It wasn't a big part of my house growing up but once I discovered some rock, punk and ska online I haven't looked back.
So although it's not always possible, I try to live for today as much as I can. This included a European road trip to see these guys when they reformed at Groezrock in Belgium.
Anti-Flag have had a huge influence on my thinking. They're unafraid to stand up to power and present ideas that are different from the mainstream. This song a timely reminder that rushing to war is rarely a good idea. On top of that they always generate a real sense of community. I've made lasting friendships at their gigs as well as meeting plenty of great people for the evening. I'll probably add some more later 🙂
It was playing the day my mother told me that her cat, my best childhood friend, was dying of cancer. I carried Katy-cat to the vet in my arms and pressed my head against hers as the vet administered the lethal injection, and remained so until the vet said "She's gone."
3:
The death of my first dog, Benji. He was a rescue greyhound, and I'd only had him for three weeks, and he was just starting to trust me. It was a Monday. He slipped off his leash and was killed by a car. I am crying so hard I think I'll never stop. I love you, Benji. I still miss you.
This one is like a frakking kick in the guts. It just came on while doing a TVD re-watch. This song was one that connected me to the first friend I lost to suicide. She was so young, and so sick. Its heartbreaking to know now, what she knew then - the meds were poison, and forcing them down her throat was the end of her. I dont go looking for these songs because of the emotion attached, but as soon as I heard it, I was right back there with her. Amazing how music can do that, bring back those memories. I am not going to go looking for other CDs we enjoyed in that time because I am not strong enough to stop that spiral.
Running up That Hill
"If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.
If I only could, I'd be running up that hill."
It doesn't hurt me.
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You, it's you and me.
And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh
You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder.
Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.
Is there so much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You, it's you and me.
It's you and me won't be unhappy.
And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building,
Say, if I only could, oh...
You,
It's you and me,
It's you and me won't be unhappy.
"C'mon, baby, c'mon darling,
Let me steal this moment from you now.
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,
Let's exchange the experience, oh"
And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.
And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.
And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
With no problems.
If I only could
Be running up that hill
With no problems
"If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.
If I only could, I'd be running up that hill.
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