Sometimes I don't know what to say so I write in third person. Third person is safe and more impersonal. Third person is arms length away. No one can touch you in third person because you don't have to exist.
It seems like forever since I started jumping this double rope. Like a child desperately trying to keep up with another kid's rhythm, spurting meaningless homonyms like foamed saliva due to dehydration of the determined. For a split second I drown the drone of opinions, Rhyme and Reason and the sound of twisted string skipping ground. The rope gets caught between my bare ankles and for once, there is silence. I know there's more than this game. I know there is allot more to my relationship with God than a spoonful of Psalms to make the sin go down. Rain begins to fall, forming into little mirrors all across the playground.
Sometimes I feel like a one woman audience of a evil magician who knows which card I am about to choose. I close my eyes, count to three, wish on a star and still no Queen. Just a miniature looking glass with my face in place of the joker's, his laughter is heard like a record broken into pieces. So who wants the deck? "Not me" raises her hand and the games continue.
Count to ten, run in circles, pick a place to hide your head. There's something about waiting in the dark waiting to be found, knowing someone is choosing to spend time in search of you. The thought alone gives strength for endurance. "Just 5 more minutes, just five"¦"
I don't want to be a star, just discovered by someone greater than myself. Norma Jean played hide and seek, she just didn't know someone was looking for her. God plays hide and seek but He already knows our hiding spots, kinda like the magician knew what card we would choose, but God's not evil. Even though I can't feel Him watching me hiding underneath this blanket in the middle of an empty room, I know He's coming"¦
I wait for the unknown but all that seems to be found, is my reflection in a puddle of rain water next to my dirty bare feet. I come back from my inside, pick up my thoughts like the rope underneath and tie them to a tree.
Maybe they will give shade to the others seeking shelter from this pour.
