When did Willow realize she was a lesbian?

[Chosen Enemy]

Was there a specific moment where Willow realized she was gay? And if she hadn't met Tara, would she never have realized that, ever?

 

[zobothehobo]

I think Willow realized she was a lesbian after she and Tara had gotten together and she reflected on how loving anyone else wasn't an option. I'm not sure how it would have happened without Tara, because I can't imagine Willow's life without Tara... but I do think she would have figured it out...

 

[Ripper666]

I was always wondering myself why the hell you think she is lesbian! I mean, she loved Oz and Tara so I think she is bi. But that's just my oppinion! And don't tell me she never loved Oz the same way she loved Tara!

 

[Living Dead Boy]

She's bisexual. The writers just weren't clear how to write it. 😛

 

[arabella]

Although this is another thing that has been debated to it's death...Willow is a lesbian because she declared herself to be so. Yes she loved Oz, but that has nothing to do with her current sexual orientation as she has now realized that she prefers to be with women exclusively. If later, she decides to give men a chance again and declares herself to be bisexual then I'd say she was bi. Many homosexual individuals have very significant and loving heterosexual relationships prior to declaring themselves to be homosexual.

Now, I agree that Willow discovered her preference for women because of Tara. That said, if another woman that Willow was attracted to came along, I feel that she would've discovered it then as well.

 

[Living Dead Boy]

In my humble opinion, it's more complicated than just, oh she declared she's a lesbian, therefore she is. Sexuality is a very grey matter, and very, very fluid. Most people IMO want categories, therefore safety. I believe you shouldn't categorize yourself into labels like straight, gay, bi, etc. You are who you are. But way back when, Willow had sexual feelings for men - and ONLY men. The fact that one girl completely changes her entire orientation feels completely false to me, and not realistic. It's not that simple, and this is coming from experience. I feel like that's a fault of the writers, not Willow as a character.

 

[arabella]

I agree that sexuality is a fluid concept and therefore the ONLY person with any right to categorize it, is the person himself or herself. I don't believe that just because a woman had a significant romantic relationship with a man and now has decided that she really prefers women shouldn't be allowed to declare herself a lesbian. To me, saying that one is bisexual is categorizing oneself as being open to relationships with either sex. If Willow decided that she only wanted women and said "I'm a lesbian" then who are we to challenge it. Also, it's her prerogative to change her declaration in the future... But not mine.

 

[Living Dead Boy]

[MENTION=6330]arabella[/MENTION] I did contradict myself, didn't I? Yeah, I have a Cordelia-esque way of saying things without thinking them through. Guess it shone through huh?

 

[arabella]

[MENTION=6330]arabella[/MENTION] I did contradict myself, didn't I? Yeah, I have a Cordelia-esque way of saying things without thinking them through. Guess it shone through huh?

No big 🙂 its such a complicated topic.

 

[white avenger]

I have never seen Willow and Tara's relationship quite the way that others do, apparently. To me, there is no question regarding Willow's sexuality, whether she is heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or even asexual. I saw Willow and Tara as two lonely people who each found the one thing in the other that made them complete. Gender and sexual orientation had nothing whatsoever to do with it. Willow herself said the same thing. "It wasn't women, it was A WOMAN. Tara" That pretty much sums it up for me. Willow doesn't love women, she loves Tara. That's why she and Kennedy always seemed so wrong.

 

[Deus Ex Machina]

I'd say the summer between Season 4 and 5. To avoid the whole "Is Willow bisexual or a lesbian" debate, I'd say she probably realized it over that summer. I mean, with "New Moon Rising" you could see Willow still had feelings for Oz, and after that she was getting used to the idea of being with Tara completely. Then maybe that summer decided that Tara was the only person she wanted to be with and decided to identify as a lesbian.