FRED
So, now that she's alive again are they
gonna get back together? Angel and
that girl with the goofy name?
WESLEY
(re: her goofy name)
Well, Fred, that's a difficult question, really.
I think it's fair to say... "no". Not a chance.
Never, no way, not in a million years, and
also, "nuh-uh".
FRED
But you said he loved her. And of course she's
gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and
handsome and he really listens when you talk -
I mean, if you go for that sorta thing -- why
wouldn't it work?
CORDELIA
Lemme break this down for you, Fred.
(imitating Buffy)
Oh, Angel. I know that I am a Slayer,
and you are a Vampire, and it is impossible
for us to be together, but --
WESLEY
(chiming in)
But my gypsy curse, and our hot little loins,
sometimes prevent us from seeing the truth.
Oh Buffy --
CORDELIA
Yes, Angel?
WESLEY
(pulling a frown)
I love you so much I almost forgot to brood.
Gunn laughs. Fred just looks confused.
CORDELIA
And just because I sent you to hell that one
time doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Wes grabs Cor around the waist, getting into it.
WESLEY
Or possibly more?
CORDELIA
Gasp! No! We mustn't! You'll lose
your soul!
WESLEY
To hell with my soul!
(beat, realizing)
Again! Kiss me!
CORDELIA
(passionately)
Bite me!
ANGEL (O.S.)
How 'bout you both bite me?
Wes and Cor shove each other to opposite ends of the room, mortified. Gunn whistles, low. Fred jumps up, happy.
FRED
You're back!
GUNN
How'd it go?
ANGEL
I think those two pretty much summed it up.
Wes glances at Cor. Big guilt.
ANGEL (cont'd)
To be honest, I don't really wanna
talk about it.
Cor looks surprised, hurt.
CORDELIA
But Angel, we're your friends. And it's
not healthy to repress stuff like this.
You have to share your pain, express
those feelings of grief and longing, cause
if you don't the curiosity's gonna kill me.
ANGEL
(completely deadpan)
Oh no. Wouldn't want that.
FRED
(raising her hand)
Personally, I don't care at all what
happened.
Cordy puts on a winning smile, says through it:
CORDELIA
Shut up, Fred.
Angel looks down, a moment, says somberly
ANGEL
Actually... you know what I need
right now?
They look at him expectantly. A beat.
ANGEL (cont'd)
Ice cream.
(to Fred)
You wanna get some ice cream?
FRED
I like ice cream.
Angel smiles, gives a look to Wes and Cor. Walks out with Fred.
CORDELIA
Now we'll never, ever know.
We hear:
ANGEL (O.S.)
That's right.
-- "Fredless"
