When friends set you up with someone

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

Anyanka Bunny Slayer

✨ Hail Hydra ✨
Joined
Dec 17, 2015
Messages
13,810
Black Thorn
Well, it actually turned out perfectly for me...twice. Both were tall, long haired, and truly nice. One was ginger, (woo hoo!) the other blond.
Sadly, the other three were just horrifying. Boring, rude, and seriously unattractive.
So...have any of you experienced the uncharted territory of blind dates?
I don't mean people with seeing eye dogs. 😛
 
Only really had one experience with this & I think I would've done better with the seeing eye dog. 😉
 
I would never trust my friends to set me up with anyone. They are all mental. Plus, they know my "ways". Past ways, I suppose. *spits in general direction of other half*


Ways = usually stalking my to-be boyfriends until they notice me. Hey, it works, every relationship has lasted 5 years +!
 
The last time friends set me up, I got with the guy and he ended up cheating on me after about 9 months. Our paths crossed again a few years later and he apologised for his behaviour so I forgave him and eventually we started going back out, this time for 2 years. Turns out a leopard really can't change their spots.

So yeah, I relied on the internet after that! 😛
 
I've never been outright matched with anyone for a date, but my friends have definitely attempted some sneaky pairing up. Like inviting me out to go somewhere and it's more like a double date than anything else. Most times the guys were nice enough, but it's no wonder I never really hit it off with any of them...I mean I'm open to going on dates with guys, but it's very doubtful it will ever lead to anything more. I just feel bad for all those poor soul who thought they had a chance.
 
I guess I was kinda set up with my last partner - same party, ended up just being the 4 of us after way too many drinks.

I still dont see the appeal of relationship. I have enough to worry about myself without having to arrange someone else into my life who eventually turns out to be a petulant man child - I do not have a single mate of my age who does not whinge about their man child (it is amusing) but I do not like having one of my own.

Rabbits are cheaper and do less damage
 
You guys really do throw you're lives open online don't you. Scary.

I don't think setups are a good idea. Its different if you happen to meet someone through a friend a later you get to know each other and end up going out. I'm anti-online dating too.
 
GwenRaiden said:
Why? For some reason I did not think you were.
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For one I think its a cheap way for the companies to cash in on people looking love. And simply I don't think love can be found by putting statistics into a computer. I'm not sure if its the safest way to go about it either.
 
Mr Trick said:
For one I think its a cheap way for the companies to cash in on people looking love. And simply I don't think love can be found by putting statistics into a computer. I'm not sure if its the safest way to go about it either.
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Oh right, so you mean online dating sites specifically? They are pretty antiquated theses days anyway. Apps like Tinder are pretty popular, and I've known many people to meet via "non-dating" sites through mutual friends/followers, like Facebook and Twitter.

I think love can be found online, it's just a case of getting to know a person in the flesh eventually, and, obviously, being safe about it. Treating it much the same way you would with someone you "know" irl, I suppose.
 
Mr Trick said:
For one I think its a cheap way for the companies to cash in on people looking love. And simply I don't think love can be found by putting statistics into a computer. I'm not sure if its the safest way to go about it either.
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You're right on all three counts. Online dating is big business. Business equals kerching. And no matter how much you can have in common with a person, that doesn't equal love. Dating sites can protest to the contrary as much as they want, but just because two people like Buffy, it doesn't mean they'll get on in the real world (or even online, as we all know). And yeah, it's not safe. There are weirdos out there. You have to be so careful. Never give out personal information, never agree to go to their home on a first date, always meet in a safe public space with other people around who can help you if you need it. These rules are often broken (some by me in the past, rather shamefully and stupidly!).... but sometimes it can work, and it does work. It's never guaranteed, but it sometimes does. But if anyone asks me what it was really like, I'd never lie about it and say it was all sweetness and rosepetals, purely because for every decent honest guy I met online, there were 50 complete and utter weirdos who wanted me to post rude photos or meet them for "fun times". 🙄

I was going to quit the site for good because I got so sick of the rude messages, and then I got a message from my now-husband. I did quit the site soon after though, obviously. 😉 So yeah, love can be found but it's not easy.
 
My daughter met her husband on plentyoffish.com. It all seems to be working well. What I am skeptical of are the companies that promise to pair you with an ideal choice. What do these companies do if they find a prospective serial killer has signed up? They have to pair him with someone. Would eharmony match Spike with Buffy, Drusilla or Faith? Or you?
 
Mr Trick said:
You guys really do throw you're lives open online don't you. Scary.
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I think this is quite a rude commentary on other members.

Mr Trick said:
I don't think setups are a good idea. Its different if you happen to meet someone through a friend a later you get to know each other and end up going out. I'm anti-online dating too.
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Meeting partners online is more common than you think, especially outside of dating sites. I had a relationship with a fellow BB member, but we got to know each other for about a year before being a couple. And I'm still here. 😀
 
I've never been set up on a blind date. I'm has friends that are just like "oh this guy's nice, you should date him" or "he's cute, go hit on him". I don't think my friends know me very well. Lol.

Athena said:
for every decent honest guy I met online, there were 50 complete and utter weirdos who wanted me to post rude photos or meet them for "fun times".
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yes that's the most annoying thing about online dating. I just ignore those guys. I've met a couple nice guys, most are just horn dogs or jerks. It's just about getting to know the person and being safe.
 
Bluebird said:
I think this is quite a rude commentary on other members.



Meeting partners online is more common than you think, especially outside of dating sites. I had a relationship with a fellow BB member, but we got to know each other for about a year before being a couple. And I'm still here. 😀
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Well its just my opinion. It might be partly an age thing. But I'm quite traditonal in that way. I think you should only share such things with people you know really well and that if you want to do it on a forum it is best to PM the personally. Just my opinion like I say.

I don't really see BB as the same as dating sites though. We know that we already have something in common with other people before starting. But none of us came here to meet future partners. If we do then great its a bonus but that's not why we joined.
 
Mr Trick said:
I don't really see BB as the same as dating sites though. We know that we already have something in common with other people before starting. But none of us came here to meet future partners. If we do then great its a bonus but that's not why we joined.
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But the point is that finding people online does happen and successfully, as Athena has said with her husband. I don't think you should be anti-online dating, because I think it's just reducing the possibility of meeting the right person. The world is a big place. Back in our grandparents day young people would all marry within their village. Now we can meet all sorts of interesting people! The world is our oyster. 😉
 
Mr Trick said:
I think you should only share such things with people you know really well and that if you want to do it on a forum it is best to PM the personally.
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People are hardly 'throwing their lives open' on this thread. No-one is sharing private personal information about the persons they met, their names etc. There's a big difference between sharing personal information and sharing experiences, and no one is being forced to share anything they aren't comfortable with.

Be anti-online dating all you like, but you can't tell me it never works. 😉 I've spent pretty much all of my adult life online and I've met some brilliant people, I wouldn't change those experiences for anything. (Sure, I met some losers/weirdos too, but there's plenty of those in the real world as well! 😛)
 
Athena said:
People are hardly 'throwing their lives open' on this thread. No-one is sharing private personal information about the persons they met, their names etc. There's a big difference between sharing personal information and sharing experiences, and no one is being forced to share anything they aren't comfortable with.

Be anti-online dating all you like, but you can't tell me it never works. 😉 I've spent pretty much all of my adult life online and I've met some brilliant people, I wouldn't change those experiences for anything. (Sure, I met some losers/weirdos too, but there's plenty of those in the real world as well! 😛)
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Yes and I'm pleased for you. But I'm entitled to my opinion and just because no one else seems to share it doesn't make me narrow minded or wrong. Its just the way I see things.
 
Mr Trick said:
Yes and I'm pleased for you. But I'm entitled to my opinion and just because no one else seems to share it doesn't make me narrow minded or wrong. Its just the way I see things.
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As I said, your thoughts on the companies, safety and statistics are spot on, I agree with you on all three. I never said you were either narrow minded or wrong and you're absolutely entitled to an opinion, but no-one is in the wrong for sharing their experiences of being set up with dates, or online dating or whatever. The validity of your opinion does not negate the validity of theirs. 🙂
 
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