When inanimate objects try to kill you

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

I was emptying the dishwasher an hour ago, and as I reached for a spatula on the bottom row, the butcher knife dropped from the top row and grazed my index finger. I hadn't even touched the damn thing! Not. Cool.

Another thing...I've had workers here restoring the wooden floor, etc; so dining room furniture was moved into the kitchen for a week...but one had to be careful when squeezing by the stove, because one false move by a wayward bum could accidentally turn on the gas burners without anyone noticing. In a nutshell, that DID happen. Twice. I blissfully unaware that gas was floating free in the kitchen while I was chain smoking in the bedroom! Eventually I thought, "Hmmm, I smell gas." Quickly put out cig, dashed to kitchen and discovered two burners were merrily spewing gas (without flame) everyone. I could have died, literally. The workers had been on a lunch break, and I was in the bedroom....so how did those burners on the stove turn on? Weird.

 

[ILLYRIAN]

On a thread marked when inanimate objects try to kill you refer to a dishwasher as an inanimate
object yet my dishwasher is not an inanimate object.
On another point, it is technically impossible to restore a wooden floor. Wood is wood and cannot
be restored yet a floor can be restored as in you can sand off the varnish then put a new coat of
varnish on it.
I had a look in the mirror and saw it would be very unlikely for my bum, if it were lost, to turn on the
gas on my cooker - and that is apart from it being an electric cooker.

You say you were blissfully aware that the gas was floating free in the kitchen. That means you do
not use LPG as that type of gas is heavier than air. So what with your smoking you still have no idea
how the gas was turned on, isn't it obvious the spatula bounced on a wayward bum and turned the stove on.
For my next attempt at a logical answer, please stay tuned.

(Oh and just pretend the last three minutes didn't happen)

 

[November]

Oh I did the gas thing once! Luckily I didnt smoke indoors, but my outdoor area as close to the stove as the rest of the shed I lived in at the time. I'd left it on for 3 days by my guess, joys of seroquel.

Last week I was nearly blinded. I was making flat bread, dancing about the kitchen and chucked the flatbread in the pan. The oil splashed up across my face and burnt my eyelid, nose and lip. I was hoping it wouldnt scar, my eyelid healed really well but now seems very weak, if i touch it, it feels like Im scraping skin off. My lip is still scabby, looks like herpes. Back to the aloe plant!

Not as deadly - I have now dropped 4 eggs this week. One of them into the carpet.
- I've killed multiple pot plants by dropping them. One of which has now been dropped at least 8 times, I will not touch the poor thing again, it was such a delicate plant too. Hopefully I can grow babies off its severed limbs.
-I've been shocked by electric cords and appliances that my rabbit has chewed through
- I dropped things on my feet that many times now that you'd think I'd be especially careful.


I tempt fate all the time, I moved a full bookcase the other week and have been known to use a garden blower vac in the house.


Not inanimate - I kicked Anyabun across the floor into the doorway, and stacked it into the fireplace. That could have been her demon plan.