ILLYRIAN
Druish Pervonian Wizard
Who's Body is it ?
To the most enlightened of us, is this classic tale that
involves the development of the relationships that Buffy
The Vampire Slayer has with the vampires that bore the
names Angel and Spike.
Right, that should keep the moderators of our backs for at least ten minutes. We can talk about what is really important.....The Body.
When first born, the body has a tendency to do strange things. Some of those things occur without any willpower, be that needed or created.
That thing ' down there ' has this odd behavioural tendency to move. Especially noticed on boys.
Several times a day the big scary people ( the ones that make the strange sounds ) they seem to enjoy removing the warm stuff you spent ages getting ready then spreading as far as possible in your nappy. They must like doing it, 'cos they keep[ doing it.
Then they remove the warmth with, if your lucky, warm water.
Oh dear, hmm, the next part will let you know what your drinks that night will be like. It's that white powdery stuff, the clever ones among them always open it top down.
Unfortunately some of them don't get enough sleep, they are easy to spot. They are the ones that open it top upright, then to make matters worse they squeeze the container to see if there's any in it.
At this point I'd suggest you cover your eyes and ears. For one thing that stuff makes them sneeze; guess who they sneeze on? The second thing is, they often say things that are objectionable, plus they seem to be surprised and upset if your first words are, ' that f......g white powder !'
As the weeks become months that little thing down there still behaves as it wants to, still especially noticed on boys. Some times it points upwards, some times it points downwards. Then at last you have a name for it................................a big toe.
Quick ! lookout, there's a moderator! Hide, everybody hide.
Buffy entered the dark sinister room, all the light had gone, sucked into the walls. As Buffy looked, she saw the yellow eyes glistening in the dark, she deftly cartwheeled to where she knew the door was, crouching on the floor she looked at them. All of a sudden the door opened, there stood Willow. She heard her friend call Xander over, then while switching on the light she said, "This is where the taxidermist keeps the spare ones. Oh, hello Buffy.
Phew! the moderator has gone. Right where was I, oh yeah
The next few years pass by with greater speed, new words enter the vocabulary. Along with the increase in intelligence comes the knowledge that some words are best repeated only at school.
If you have the gift of ventriloquism and have the ability to sound exactly like others, great fun can be had with those words when visiting people.
Several more years go by, until the most terrible thing happens, hairs start growing down THERE, not a bad thing really, until you use a used razor to cut them off. That's when the terrible thing happens!. The soddin' things grow back! and the damned things itch!!.
Then dread upon dread it happens! there you are in the busiest part of town and they itch, you really need to scratch, but it's nigh on impossible to scratch them and not be noticed. So what do you do? the itching is driving you crazy. You find a bench seat, sit down and pray that no one will notice you. As casually as possible you lean forward and OH, OH, aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Don't you just hate it when the hairs at the bottom of your legs grow back.
To the most enlightened of us, is this classic tale that
involves the development of the relationships that Buffy
The Vampire Slayer has with the vampires that bore the
names Angel and Spike.
Right, that should keep the moderators of our backs for at least ten minutes. We can talk about what is really important.....The Body.
When first born, the body has a tendency to do strange things. Some of those things occur without any willpower, be that needed or created.
That thing ' down there ' has this odd behavioural tendency to move. Especially noticed on boys.
Several times a day the big scary people ( the ones that make the strange sounds ) they seem to enjoy removing the warm stuff you spent ages getting ready then spreading as far as possible in your nappy. They must like doing it, 'cos they keep[ doing it.
Then they remove the warmth with, if your lucky, warm water.
Oh dear, hmm, the next part will let you know what your drinks that night will be like. It's that white powdery stuff, the clever ones among them always open it top down.
Unfortunately some of them don't get enough sleep, they are easy to spot. They are the ones that open it top upright, then to make matters worse they squeeze the container to see if there's any in it.
At this point I'd suggest you cover your eyes and ears. For one thing that stuff makes them sneeze; guess who they sneeze on? The second thing is, they often say things that are objectionable, plus they seem to be surprised and upset if your first words are, ' that f......g white powder !'
As the weeks become months that little thing down there still behaves as it wants to, still especially noticed on boys. Some times it points upwards, some times it points downwards. Then at last you have a name for it................................a big toe.
Quick ! lookout, there's a moderator! Hide, everybody hide.
Buffy entered the dark sinister room, all the light had gone, sucked into the walls. As Buffy looked, she saw the yellow eyes glistening in the dark, she deftly cartwheeled to where she knew the door was, crouching on the floor she looked at them. All of a sudden the door opened, there stood Willow. She heard her friend call Xander over, then while switching on the light she said, "This is where the taxidermist keeps the spare ones. Oh, hello Buffy.
Phew! the moderator has gone. Right where was I, oh yeah
The next few years pass by with greater speed, new words enter the vocabulary. Along with the increase in intelligence comes the knowledge that some words are best repeated only at school.
If you have the gift of ventriloquism and have the ability to sound exactly like others, great fun can be had with those words when visiting people.
Several more years go by, until the most terrible thing happens, hairs start growing down THERE, not a bad thing really, until you use a used razor to cut them off. That's when the terrible thing happens!. The soddin' things grow back! and the damned things itch!!.
Then dread upon dread it happens! there you are in the busiest part of town and they itch, you really need to scratch, but it's nigh on impossible to scratch them and not be noticed. So what do you do? the itching is driving you crazy. You find a bench seat, sit down and pray that no one will notice you. As casually as possible you lean forward and OH, OH, aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Don't you just hate it when the hairs at the bottom of your legs grow back.