Why can't I win?

[Little Tree]

Okay, So I met a girl at the first of the school year, so back in august. I told her after talking to her for a few weeks, that I would like to take her out sometime. She said that she would like that, except that she might be going out with someone, and she wasn't sure. I figured "hey that's okay, I think that I will have a chance anyways." So they have been dating up till two days ago. I have been with her the whole time. Not with her in the sense that I was dating her, just I was there for her. When he made her cry I comforted her, that sort of thing. Well anyway, I have liked her for all these months, and today she comes and picks me up, because we were going to hang out. And she turns to me and says, "so you know last night when you called and left that message that said "brittany your probably asleep I'll see you tommorow." well I heard the phone ring but right then weston was breaking up with me." When she said this My heart flew. I was so excited, I felt terrible for being happy when she was sad, but I thought this ment I had a chance with her. Then she starts up again with. "So prefrence is coming up" (that's a dance were the girl asks the guy) When she said that it was the most excited I can ever remember being, honestly. Then she says "I think I want to ask brian." Yes that is right she said she wanted to ask brian! They met like two weeks ago. They've said a total of maybe thirty words to one another. I am so freaking confused, and sad. Why is it that I can not win at this? Maybe she just has got to weed through everybody else to get to me, but maybe not. Maybe I'm doomed to just be the guy that girls want to be friends with. Wich is fine most the time, But I really like this girl. What should I do? Any tips in how I might make her more interested in me would be greatly appreciated. So Please help me out you guys.

 

[Soulgasm]

lol...i believe this was me a year ago...lol...

i'm sorry lil t...for getting a laugh....

alright...you may not like what i'm going to say...but what i speak...is my wisdom of what i've learned...about the rules of attraction...

first of all...you are a friend to her...and unless you dissappear and change...you will always be a friend to her....

secondly...you gotta change your perspective...from 'why can't i attact this gurl to me'...to...'how can gurls resist me....it's impossible'...gurls...womyn...are on an unconcious level attracted to the self confident...the guys who carry themselves with no fear...and hold nothing back....so...in order for you to be confident in your self...you have to be comfortable in your shoes...no insecurites...if anything...embrace your insecurities and flaws...go find your self...i know you can...

thirdly...and the most important question you need to be asking is not why you lost....but...Why'd she lose...because your a nice guy...that will snag a hotty because...you can...

i believe if you find your confidence within yourself...chicks that you like will be hitting on you....they'll pursue you...that...my friend...is the mark of a pimp...

Remember...be intrepid...fearless...falkin daredevil...like a monkey being shot into space...

any question...pm me...

 

[4.O.cious Miss]

Re:

LT hun, I'm sure there's not alot I can add to SG- he's da man. But I will say this. Most young females are pretty unfocused and undecided. They always go for what looks exciting or precarious. What looks safe and smart never really cross their minds. And because I've been there, and I've put guys in the situation you're in now, I can say: Most girls want what they can't have. (Hell hun- that goes for most people, period.) As bass ackwards as this sounds, make her work for your attention. Don't make yourself so available every time she whimpers. She'll appreciate you more when your not around as much. And she'll miss you. Flip the script a little bit, and you may be surprised how the situation changes! 😉 Keep your chin up sweetie- have faith in yourself! Women are SO attracted to that. Before long you'll be like Xander in Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered...LOL, but you have to promise me that if you find Alyson Hannigan in your room under the covers- you will CALL ME!! LOL. Good luck hun!

 

[elmo]

These guys know what they're talking about. Damn! I have nothing much to add. Don't change yourself to impress her. Be yourself and be confident about being you. (Not overly confident mind... we don't like show offs) Next time she has a breakup I suggest you be funny (not idiotic mind... noone likes an idiot)... let her know that you're there to make her happy... not just to console her. Most of all... don't make out that you're available for her to pick up and drop whenever. Let her see what she's missing out on... but show her that there's a bit of distance. She'll be after you in no time. If she's not... she's a real dumbass!

 

[Mr. Pointy]

Yup LT. The guys sound pretty spot on here. My thoughts, for what they're worth, are that sex has ruined many a good friendship...so enjoy the friendship you have with this lady...you never know, she may be able to fix you up with her hot cousin 🙂

 

[Faldor]

it seems more then likely that she has know idea how you feel about her (girls *love* being evil and tormentful like that) and if you were to tell her it will more then likely freak her right out.

your best bet is to get her out your system in that respect. even the way you don't even know she's there go get somone else, or you might scare her off for good.

and that would suck.

 

[Anchovy]

Wow, lots of good advice has already been given, but here's a litle someting that might make you feel better.

Nice Guys

And do take comfort in the fact that there are some girls out there who appreciate the nice guys (and girls 😉 ) of the world.All is not lost! Some members of the female species are not complete airheads. 😉

 

[Wesley's Sylyna]

Oh, I'm sorry honey but it don't sound like she's into you.
Sounds like she sees you as a friend.

If you're so in to her you should ask her how she feels about you. I know I like it when people are up front with me. So find out how she feels about you and work from there.
Oh and don't let her walk all over you, I've seen what happens and it isn't pretty. You don't want that to happen to you.

Just like the others said, be yourself and let her know you'll be there for her but you will not let her use you to make to people jealous. And if she doesn't like than tough, you can find someone who will like you for who you are sweetie.

 

[Soulgasm]

anchovy...that nice guy rant...was cool...it was written well....it really makes me ask myself...am I a nice guy??....I don't know anymore...

wes syl...i don't know if this chick is as cool as you are...cause something tells me...like how faldor said...if you tell her how you really feel...she'll get creeped out...cause i get the feeling that this isn't the gurl that isn't creeped out by honesty...

i think that gurls...in general...are totally confused...because...they want two different ideals...

the first...Alpha male...protection...strength...independance...

the second...beta male...security...support...empathy...


but...i think that there is one thing that overrides everything...and it can't be faked either....chermistry....do you click with each other...cause if you do...there's a bond...that needs to grow tighter as time passess...and getting the gurl of your dreams...becomes as effortless as a dream...seriously....it can be so easy...

 

[Little Tree]

Hey you guys are great. Thanks for all of your tips and helpful suggestions. I appreciate it. I think i'm going to take what you guys have given me, and use it. If she isn't interested... well then I have a cute gal-pal, if it does, well I'll let you all know. Thanks guys.

p.s. any more tips are more than welcome.

 

[Soulgasm]

more advice...(i rub my hands)

alright...hmmm....best thing i can say...is to be totally chilled around gurls...tease them mercilessly...but...remember if they aint' laughing...at themselves...you've gone too far...or...they aren't the coolest gurls to be around...

plus...if a gurl can give out a good tease...and doesn't just take it with a smile...then you got something special...keep playing...

show love with no remorse

walk...shoulders back...chest out...and slow...just chilling...floating...totally owning the place...even if you look nerdy...do it anyway...cause confidence is the best aphrodisiac for gurls...

be positive...and independent...and you'll do fine...

i need some specifics man!!

 

[Little Tree]

What do you mean specifics?

 

[Soulgasm]

tell me about some gurls you notice...tell me whatever you want in a gurl...tell me what your attracted to...don't confuse what you want and what your attracted to...just give me some info to give you some specifics on how and what you need to do...